hi

[selmadora]

Hi. I'm new to the forums. I have not been diagnosed with any form of anxiety but it doesn't take a degree to figure out that I do suffer from it.

Mine is a strange case. My anxiety does not plague my life on a day-to-day basis, but bares its ugly self when I spend time with my boyfriend. I can't eat when I'm near him, and not eating leads to an upset stomach which leads to nausea and vomiting. A lot of people just dub it a bad case of butterflies (because the relationship is new), but it's truly more severe and it gets out of hand. Once I start vomiting I plunge into this miserable vicious cycle that is REALLY difficult to bring to a halt.

I'm 18 years old and this is my first real relationship. When I was 14 I sort of had a less mature, more simple involvement with someone. The same thing happened, except at that time I didn't even need to be physically near him to experience the anxiety which led to the vomiting. It turned into a huge ordeal and I did end up going to the hospital because I was so dehydrated and couldn't hold anything down.

Anyway, there is a bit of a gap between 14 and 18 and I had thought this anxiety had exited my life for good. Now that I'm in this newly founded relationship with someone that I am deeply in love with, I'm having difficulty understanding why it's resurfacing. It bewilders me that my body should react this way. Especially because it doesn't react this way in any other situation.

Point is, this is a huge issue. I don't want to have to deal with this every time I spend time with him. While I know nerves and the newness of the relationship are factors here, it still doesn't make sense that I should enter this extreme state of emergency.

I don't know if anyone else has this issue. Maybe it's been mentioned here on the forum before. Can anyone relate? Does anyone have any suggestions? Valium, I know, could help. But I don't really want to resort to that. I was prescribed with that at 14 but only took it roughly three times.

[shaggy82]

Hi and welcome!
Uhm.. this sounds horrible. I bet your personality also gets affected when you're with him? So he might experience a different "you"?
Does he know? Have you talked about it?

I have only had anxiety for 8 months, but i have found out that if people doesnt handle/care if i have anxiety, they are not worth suffering for.
So i started to tell people close to me. And i got better actually.

Maybe he allready know... If it was me, i would talk to him/her (:P) and then start working together. Short goals to make together. Eat a bisquit the first day.. Then the next week you try a carrot. And so on.
Anxiety is a behavioral condition, so practise makes perfect :D

I really hope you can stay away from drugs...

Anyway thats only my oppinion. Im sure that in the next few days, you will get other responses who see things different.

Good luck! *hug*

[DainBramaged]

You need to try and determine how you are feeling. I dont want to put thoughts into your mind because you may cling to something that isnt true. I think your situation is workable and would suggest seeking professional help from a psychologist. One of the most effective ways is to take medicine while seeking treatment. It allows you be anxiety free while the treatment settles in. Just taking medicine only masks the issue. One thing I messed up on was stopping the medicine to early when I thought I was "over" my anxiety. But it's OK, I learned...

[selmadora]

Shaggy, interesting that you should bring up the whole "different you" thing. One of the things that really drew me to this person was that he actually saw me for who I was. So I do feel like myself around him, generally, which is refreshing. But admittedly, when the nausea takes hold it puts me in a state where a different "me" is projected. Yeah, that's one of the most frustrating aspects.
I have been very open with him about it. I told him everything. We even tried to analyze it together and he's very understanding. I figured getting it out where it's known would ease it a bit. In a sense, it did because I'm now mentally at ease with him. But it's like my body is completely disconnected from my brain. He keeps telling me "it's mind over matter. you have the ability to control it if you try". And he's right, but that's inconceivably difficult.

It doesn't help that this is a long distance relationship and I don't see him often enough to work through it day by day.

Dain, I think you're right. I'm going to try and seek professional help as soon as I can. I want to gain control over this. If I have to introduce myself to medication, I'm willing to try it out.