CrayonPrince
01-28-2014, 02:22 PM
I hope I'm posting in the right place. I really need advice.
I've had anxiety for about two years. Although it has fluctuated in severity, the past few months have brought me very, very low. I was home for Winter Break until mid-January (I live at college), & things got really bad. I was worrying & over-analyzing on a constant basis, but I believed that returning to school & starting therapy would make things manageable.
When I got home from break, I started a relationship with someone who I've been interested in for months. For the first week of our relationship, I was really really happy in spite of the fact that we were spending far too much time together. I slept in their room every night, & by the end of the week, I was overwhelmed with the intimacy of such a new relationship. We talked about it & agreed to take a step back.
That day, I plunged into a deep level of anxiety I've never faced before. I started worrying about our relationship & whether I was actually happy to be with them. I know that I have feelings for them, but when they're around, I can't convince myself of it. I can't enjoy our time together because I read into every action as "evidence" of whether or not my feelings are real. I can't stop thinking about it. It's been two days since my breakdown, & things have gotten only marginally better.
I started therapy this week. On Thursday, I'm hoping to be prescribed medication. My partner understands & respects my need for space at this time, but I'm wondering if that's enough. I've been obsessing over our relationship constantly. I'm wondering if I can develop healthy feelings in a situation that's starting in such an unhealthy way. But again, this has all taken place over a few days, & part of me hopes that it'll pass.
I just need advice. Should I stick it out? How long should I wait to decide whether to break up with them (& take a medical leave of absence from school)? I'm going to work so hard in therapy, but can I justify putting this much space & stress in such a new relationship until I get well enough to enjoy it? Is it fair to them?
Please offer wisdom.
I've had anxiety for about two years. Although it has fluctuated in severity, the past few months have brought me very, very low. I was home for Winter Break until mid-January (I live at college), & things got really bad. I was worrying & over-analyzing on a constant basis, but I believed that returning to school & starting therapy would make things manageable.
When I got home from break, I started a relationship with someone who I've been interested in for months. For the first week of our relationship, I was really really happy in spite of the fact that we were spending far too much time together. I slept in their room every night, & by the end of the week, I was overwhelmed with the intimacy of such a new relationship. We talked about it & agreed to take a step back.
That day, I plunged into a deep level of anxiety I've never faced before. I started worrying about our relationship & whether I was actually happy to be with them. I know that I have feelings for them, but when they're around, I can't convince myself of it. I can't enjoy our time together because I read into every action as "evidence" of whether or not my feelings are real. I can't stop thinking about it. It's been two days since my breakdown, & things have gotten only marginally better.
I started therapy this week. On Thursday, I'm hoping to be prescribed medication. My partner understands & respects my need for space at this time, but I'm wondering if that's enough. I've been obsessing over our relationship constantly. I'm wondering if I can develop healthy feelings in a situation that's starting in such an unhealthy way. But again, this has all taken place over a few days, & part of me hopes that it'll pass.
I just need advice. Should I stick it out? How long should I wait to decide whether to break up with them (& take a medical leave of absence from school)? I'm going to work so hard in therapy, but can I justify putting this much space & stress in such a new relationship until I get well enough to enjoy it? Is it fair to them?
Please offer wisdom.