Conversation awkwardness

[shonaat]

Hey! I was wondering does anyone know how to start a conversation after you've said 'hello' and 'you ok?' Cause a teacher was speaking to me and i didn't even know what to reply and all i did was nod!:( i felt kind of bad! And when i stand next to someone i always feel awkward cause that person has spoken to me but i haven't replied or spoke cause i don't know what to say!:( social anxiety sucks guys! Any suggestions?:/ x

[Anxious Abi]

I agree, social anxiety totally sucks. I don't have any really solid suggestions, except maybe don't let the awkwardness cause you to shy away from social situations. I too find most social interaction difficult, I think many people do, but I think the more you put yourself in a social situation, the more experience you have. Which hopefully means you'll get more confident, and feel less awkward.
Apart from that just listen and ask questions I guess.

Best wishes.

[Dahila]

I avoid social interaction like an evil, for years, When my boss says something to me I get so anxious even if it is a joke....

[Fight the stress]

Just be yourself or ask them a question so they do most the talking and just smile back ;)

[hippysilverware]

I get that way too... even after I've started a conversation I feel myself fishing around for the /right/ thing to say. Think of it like an opportunity though! You can always just use a go-to like weather, or current events. It can be hard, but everyone's right about practicing. You can always ask questions too, I've found that people who talk first usually like doing the talking anyway. The other day I wound up working with a woman who'd recently moved here from the UK. She was obviously really friendly, but I have a hard time talking /and/ coming up with things to say, but just from her being there and what I learned about her I knew that 1. she liked cats, 2. she recently moved. Stockpile of questions!

[alankay]

Ask a person about their dog(s)....if they have one. Instant opening up of the mouth.....but that's just me.:) Alankay

[Pierogies99]

Every time I'm in a conversation with someone I'm not comfortable around (like 99.9% of people), I have this voice screaming in my head "THINK OF SOMETHING TO SAY," which ironically prevents me from thinking of something to say. At this point I'll usually give some non-committal answer, or stutter around repeating their question to buy some time and look for a way out of the conversation. People tend to pick up on my behavior and lose interest in talking to me by then anyway. I have no advice on what to do when someone initiates the conversation topic. I'm like a deer in headlights.

On the other hand, when you have to start a conversation, or fill in an awkward silence, have specific "conversation threads" planned out that can be your go-to in these situations. You don't want specific lines to memorize, because that can be picked up on. Pick topics you like; pick topics you think other people like. Have a variety of material ready to go.

Pets is a great one, like alankay said, but it can also be an instant dead end. But you can plan to ask them what pet they have always wanted, or if they had one in their childhood, which will move the conversation along. Planning topics to piggyback off of one another is also a great idea. When your current one fizzles, it can make for a nice segway. Going off of pets, if you went the childhood pet route, just continue the childhood topic in general. This can lead to asking about what they wanted to be when they grew up (lame I know), which could lead to current job topic, which could lead to boss/coworker complaining, etc. The examples I gave would work just as well in different orders as well, which is a huge advantage over memorization.

Questions are good as well, as hippysilverware said, but it requires a sociable person.

There are books about the "art of conversation" which could provide a lot of insight as well.

I hate that this is second nature to so many people, yet I have to plan out something so simple. Even then, if I freeze or the person isn't trying to engage back, I fall back into my bad habits and panic.