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[Scdg17]

So I'm on month 3 of debilitating depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Since I'm a recovering alcoholic, I'm trying to stay away from medication and take a holistic route. I started taking 200mg of 5htp a month ago as well as daily exercise, meditation, reading, journaling, and reaching out to the few friends I have left. Nothing seems to help though. My depression and anxiety get worse everyday and now I'm to the point where I can't leave the house.
The most disheartening thing is that instead of my "loved ones" giving me any credit for trying my best, I'm constantly being blamed on a daily basis. "You got yourself in this mess. You get yourself out." I'm losing more hope and sanity everyday.
In 3 months not one day has gone by that I haven't cried or had a panic attack. I just feel so shattered and not sure if I will ever be able to pull myself out. Oh, I also suffer from a personality disorder. Lucky me...

[conorboy]

Im in the same boat. My family seem incapable of understanding. Im going through an go for broke phase. I feel i have nothing to loose so im going to throw myself at life like never before. If it breaks me ...at least ive tried . You can do no more than dig deep and gain mental strenght from your situation. Look at it like you're working out parts of your brain that others dont. Your're gaining strenght where others dont. You're gaining experience to help others. :)

[Scdg17]

Thank you guys for understanding.

No, I don't have any support here. I'm pretty isolated. I have no friends here, no transportation, and nothing to do. The only support I have is about 5 friends that I call on the phone occasionally but I try not to overwhelm them too much.
Human interaction has always been the thing that makes me feel like me. Now I'm alone everyday and don't even see people, I feel subhuman. Even when I talk to my therapist it feels like I might as well be talking to a screen.

[chellebooka]

. I'm a recovering addict and I know how hard it is and how alone you feel. I come from a very sober background. My ex got me hooked on drugs and so I was in it alone. My family pretty much react The same it's my problem I have to deal with it and to a certain extent it's true. It is my problem and I do have to deal with it. My family and friends don't understand addiction and don't understand what it does so they choose to ignore and distance themselves from the issue.

Only I can get through this I have to sort this out. I can seek help and advice but it comes down to me at the end of the day. It's difficult with added issues like anxiety and depression cause you don't known if it withdrawals or the anxiety or depression that is making you feel that way today.

You are not alone there are people who are going through the same as you. Me included. You can always talk it through with me if you feel like sharing. I'll do my best to help you through some dark patches. Be proud that each day you do without is a day that you grow a bit stronger.

[Th13thOne]

Great post, conorboy.

I'm in the same boat as well and trying everything I can. Almost everyday is a constant struggle.