Fear of Medication

[sweetypie]

I have a fear of taking new medication. I know two people who have died from allergic reactions to medication. I've also had an allergic reaction to pain medication myself in the hospital and was ignored while it was happening. My Mother had a rare, but serious side effect to medication that almost killed her. My other friend got cancer and the chemotherapy killed her, NOT the cancer.

And I've suffered through other side effects of medication that were unpleasant. Like when I took vicodin, I hallucinated and went insane until I stopped taking it. When I took some antibiotics once, I vomitted every 5 minutes for the next 12 hours and almost died of dehydration.

There was one time where I took medicine for a kidney stone that had complications and the medicine saved my life, but for the most part, I've had bad interactions with medication and these bad interactions run in my family.

I was recently diagnosed with a serious disease that I've had for the past few years. This disease actually REQUIRES that I take medication every day. I have a really bad case of this disease and if I don't take the medication, the disease is going to completely destroy my body and kill me. This happening is like ten years away though without medication.

But I'm too scared to take the pills because I think that they will kill me RIGHT NOW. And I think,"Do I want to die in ten years or die right now?" And I choose the ten years off one every day.

My phobia is so bad that whether I'm having an allergic reaction or not, I have a panic attack when I take medication and think my throat is closing up. So I actually am incapable of telling whether or not I'm having an allergic reaction to medicine. The only reason I knew I was having an allergic reaction to that pain medication was because my lips swelled up really big, so I could actually see physically what was happening.

I tried to talk to my doctor about this and other doctors, but all they hear is that I won't take my medication and they start screaming at me. Instead of it encouraging me to take the medicine, it winds up making me feel more terrified of taking it. Last time I tried to talk to a doctor about this was Friday and he yelled at me so much that I ran out of his office crying hysterically, having a panic attack, and I wound up vomitting over and over again.

I just want to ask them if they'd SIT with me once or twice while I take the medication, so that I can handle it and be told that I'm not having an allergic reaction. But they never let me get far enough to ask that question and it's driving me crazy.

[jessed03]

That would make a person pretty scared of taking meds!

I mean, SSRIs work predominantly on Serotonin, the only three ways they kill people most of the time are; Serotonin syndrome (rare), suicidal behaviour, and allergic reaction.

The middle one obviously you can control, Serotonin syndrome becomes pretty obvious when it's serious - you'd know it's like a delusional fever, so allergic reaction is left.

A fatal allergic reaction you know about. To kill you, some pretty serious changes have to occur, changes that do slightly go behind what happens when you're seriously anxious. I remember my bad penicillin allergy. I could tell the difference between that and a panic attack any day, even if they did feel more or less the same.

There's naturally gonna be a lot of anxiety on your part though. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all, your doctors aren't been that compassionate to you. I get mini bouts of anxiety 6 years later, even when taking a vitamin cos of that one issue I had.

Even though allergic reactions to antidepressants are pretty rare, you've had a bad past.

Once you've take a couple, you know there's no allergic reaction, so you're in the clear. How can you get passed those few days?

Do you live alone? If you took it at college, or something, the nurse there would probably have an epipen (best to check first though), that may be reassuring for you, to take the first dose around a nurse. That's what I did on my first go. My mum who I lived with at the time was also trained in first aid, that helped a little. After 5 days, the fear of reaction was totally gone, I turned attention back to the mental stuff.

I mean, maybe you could ask your doctor if you could sit in the waiting room of the surgery for a few hours after taking it. Depends on them I guess. At least you'd know your around emergency help if need be. Heck, you could even take it and go sit in the hospital waiting room, depending on what kind of hospital it is. They have epipens and allergy shots and emergency carers that can get to you within the blink of an eye.

Depends what would work best for you and alleviate your fear. A work or college nurse could sit with you for a couple of hours, they'd know what allergic reaction looked like. Most are pretty quiet too. That's probably what I'd do,,of possible.

[Lm22]

I too have this I believe I had an actual allergic reaction to an antibiotic, an Epi pen helped. Ever since then I have the fear of new meds and can't differentiate well between a panic attack or allergy. My best advice is take xanax or some anxiety med when taking the new medication and the use your best judgement ... I used to hate the idea of taking these meds but sometimes they can really help. It's truly Impossivle to tell otherwise. And if you're worried about the anxiety med itself.. Keep an Epi pen handy but assuming you are not allergic the medication will work and you won't have the panic attack or it will be reduced