UK Sufferer here!

[Rookie]

Hello!

Ok so the two main reasons I am posting on here is to hopefully get some feedback to narrow down the areas of my anxiety and secondly just to I guess talk to some people honestly about my anxiety which I have never done (in as much detail).

Bit of background.
I'm a 29 year old male from England. My anxiety started in 2000 so I have been dealing with it for 14 years now which is half my life.

The years I have been suffering from it are meant to be the best years of my life but I feel as though they have been stolen.

I have spoken to my doctor on numerous occasions about my anxiety and have been referred for CBT which I am waiting to hear from.

I've never been able to pinpoint the originating cause for my anxiety (if there ever was one thing).

Now I guess some honest information on my anxiety.

I suffer from some form of OCD or another. Generally relating to symmetry.
If I step off the pavement with one foot, I must do the same with the other. If I turn around in one direction then I must do the same in reverse. This has also manifested itself in some rituals such as stirring a mug of tea 4 times and if there is sugar then 12 times. Before I go to bed I will drink 4 sips of water from a glass.

Over the past year I have been waking up in the night in full blown panic mode. No idea why. I will wake up, heart racing, scared that I can't breathe. Feeling faint.

When speaking to new people I will suddenly feel emotional and get the lip twitches and start feeling panicked. Sometimes even around people I know. If I'm around people I know but am feeling anxious then it can occur.

I used to have an issue being away from home although that is less so now.

I have the lump in my throat a lot of the time.

I am terrified of throwing up and will do anything I can to avoid it which is unfortunate as if I feel nauseous and start thinking about it, I'll feel worse.

I am constantly worried about my health. Every new ache or feeling in my body I will usually associate with being related to a serious illness.

I worry about what the (specifically my) future will hold.

My anxiety has caused irreparable (or so I think) damage to my romantic life. I was single from 18-28 and even then only had a short relationship in 2012 (although fortunately it didn't end due to me) so I feel that I'll be single forever.

Each year I somehow believe that I won't live to see my next birthday, then Christmas due to the aforementioned health anxiety.

I feel tired a lot of the time and as such my sleep pattern is horrible. I get maybe 4 hours a night on week nights and then sleep in late on weekends. I think subconsciously I think I sleep so little during the week so that I have an easy answer as to why I'm tired all the time (when it may well be purely from lack of sleep).
Due to this (possibly), when I am working, I feel demotivated, feel like there is a heavy fog or most in my head, hard to focus.

I'm easily irritated when I'm tired (which is almost always).

Sometimes I just feel emotionless almost as if I am going through the day on auto pilot.

I have a fear of loosing my parents. My mum has had (and beaten) cancer twice and I nearly lost my dad last year to septicaemia. This kind of makes me feel pathetic when I talk to them about my anxiety and complaining about it after what they have dealt with. They are however very happy to listen when I need to talk about it and would do anything to help. We are a very close family.
Sometimes when I'm in bed and not distracted I literally imagine for example my dad waking up to find my mum has passed away or vice versa which is a horrible thought and I hate thinking about it.

I'm very much an introvert. I'm generally happier on my own or around one or two friends.
I am however very open with my friends about my anxiety as I am with my family.

I am paranoid about my appearance with regards to things such as loosing my hair even though my hairdresser remarks on how thick it is.


There are probably a bunch of other things I have forgotten to mention

In all honesty, I'm not really sure what I am looking for on here but I hope that some of you may have some information or advice to share.

Thank you to anyone who has read through this entire post. If anyone has any questions, the answers to which may help with any information or advice you may be able to offer then please do ask.

Thanks again!

Rookie

[fisher]

Hiya rookie were in the uk are u from?how old are u?well i have suffered anxiety on and off for years but christmas time i got it back because i get palpitations alot which is my worst fear and waking up of a night sometimes i get the racing heart were it wont slow down which is another anxiety

[raggamuffin]

Anxiety needn't have a sole cause such as a traumatic event to come about. Often poor stress management and excess worry is enough to cause it. The OCD might also add addtional emotional stress to your life. CBT can certainly be helpful with giving you tools to help overcome the negative ways of thinking that anxiety feeds off of such as fear and worry. Social anxiety can certainly cause all sorts of odd symptoms to arise such as twitching or stuttering etc. The symptoms you've described are all very common with anxiety. They can also be very alarming but you have to practice responding to such things without emotion. Anxiety feeds off of emotion so you have to rationalize situations and symptoms instead of letting anxiety run amuck. This takes practice and CBT will help to train you in this way of thinking. After 14 years of anxiety you must know that worrying about symptoms when they come about doesn't help does it? It makes things worse but it's now become instinct to panic and fear symptoms when they occur. Even times when you feel relatively fine you might be fearing when the next symptom will strike.

You won't be single forever but it's best to work on inner happiness and contentment. Usually we attract people similar to ourselves. So if you have anxiety, worries, depression etc you aren't likely to attract people who are the complete opposite. I spent many years chasing relationships thinking that'd immediately cure my anxiety and depression when in reality it amplified the worries. So it's best to work on you, get closer to where you want to be in life. Let the therapy help you regain control in your life and pair it with medication if necessary to help you in the initial steps on the road to recovery.

Health anxiety and fear of death are anxiety 101 and it's a sad thing to see so many young people convinced they're going to die soon and not see their next birthday. The reality is that it's highly unlikely to happen but it's the fear and worry and negative emotions being allowed to control your life that causes such ways of thinking.

There's many helpful stickies at the top of the forum which can help you in terms of ways of thinking. I'd hold off going overboard with supplement purchasing or other methods you might think are overnight or quick fixes for anxiety. The reality is that anxiety takes a long time to manifest itself physically and whilst we might suffer from some vitamin or mineral defficiencies, it doesn't mean we have to pour lots of money into things we hope will cure us instantly. It's like medication, it can help you cope but it won't change your way of thinking. That is down to you and takes a lot of practice and dedication but it can be done.

I'm very introverted myself and social situations can cause discomfort and I too have spent many years worrying about family death of parents and had symptoms you've described. But truth be told, if you spend so long fixating on nothing but the bad and terrified of the future and "what if's" you let life slip past you and never see the good things in life, because they are there. We just get so caught up in anxiety and convincing ourselves life is terrible and beset with pains, symptoms and that nothing good will come of it.

The reality is you can get through to the other side of this but it will take time.

Ed

[fisher]

Ed thats so right,if i didnt have health anxiety i would be loving life,if i could control feeling nervous and then my heart going fast in situations it would be a step to getting better:(

[shonaat]

I'm from UK too!:)
I blush like 24/7 if anyone say hi to me i blush really badly!! My heart pounds and my hands sweat and i can just feel my face burn!! Social anxiety sucks to be fair x

[fisher]

Hiya were about in the uk are u from?

[shonaat]

Wales:) near aberystwyth:)

[fisher]

Hiya well have you ever got help for your social anxiety?x

[shonaat]

Where are you from?:)
Urm kind of! My mum is a social worker and i kind of had a break down about something and told her i think i have anxiety and she brung home booklets on overcoming anxiety, help with anxiety and depression, how to overcome shyness and she brought a book home from work on how to overcome shyness and social anxiety but so far that hasn't work!:/ x

[fisher]

Hiya i am from rainhill on merseyside😀yes its ok reading about it but it still doesnt help,i am going to see therapist tmrw for cbt,but i have to pay for it because you wait ages on the nhs,how do u deal with your anxiety hun?x

[shonaat]

Never heard of it haha;) how old are you?:D
Oh really? Good luck for tomorrow:) I want to see a therapist but i'm not sure they help:( my doctor is aware that i'm anxious but he said that it happens to most people!
Well at the moment i'm concentrating on not going red in the face when people talk to me which sucks but once i get that sorted (it was really bad last year to the point where i had to cry) i'll be able to speak to people more with confidence! So hope this method works haha x