New to this ir any forum for Anxiety

[ste32]

Hello everyone, my name is Steve. I have been suffering with anxiety for around 5 years maybe more. Started completely out of the blue with no known cause. I sought counselling and managed to keep it at bay for about 9 months, life was "normal". Then my Dad died recently and it's all come flooding back. My wife is expecting a baby in April. I NEED to beat this and be strong for my wife and the times ahead. I have recently sought the help of a physiologist who discharged me, I have been feeling better these past three weeks. But last night me and my wife went out for dinner and I had a severe attack, just had to go and take a walk outside to ease the symptoms which helped for a bit. I told my wife I was having an attack and we talked about it a lot. I really spoilt her night and she ended up crying with the stress of dealing with me when they happen, which made things worse. It's the next morning now and I just can't relax, just going over in my mind what happened and trying to find the cause and the strength to get through another day of fear.

I'm just looking for some form of hope from you guys. Has anyone beaten this, gone one to live life normally?

[Lord Jazzinho]

Hello everyone, my name is Steve. I have been suffering with anxiety for around 5 years maybe more. Started completely out of the blue with no known cause. I sought counselling and managed to keep it at bay for about 9 months, life was "normal". Then my Dad died recently and it's all come flooding back. My wife is expecting a baby in April. I NEED to beat this and be strong for my wife and the times ahead. I have recently sought the help of a physiologist who discharged me, I have been feeling better these past three weeks. But last night me and my wife went out for dinner and I had a severe attack, just had to go and take a walk outside to ease the symptoms which helped for a bit. I told my wife I was having an attack and we talked about it a lot. I really spoilt her night and she ended up crying with the stress of dealing with me when they happen, which made things worse. It's the next morning now and I just can't relax, just going over in my mind what happened and trying to find the cause and the strength to get through another day of fear.

I'm just looking for some form of hope from you guys. Has anyone beaten this, gone one to live life normally?

If you keep going over it in this way you will make it worse trust me I know. It can be extremely hard to do this but once you have done it once you can do it again. Don't think about it anymore. By thinking about it you are hyping it up, making it bigger and giving it more power over you. Tell yourself this"Its happened before it'll probably happen again, when it does I will deal with it and not allow it to spoil anymore of my day than it takes for it to pass. This is quote and I don't who said but I think its one the best ones I've heard "Just remember This to shall pass".

[ste32]

Thanks for the reply Lord Jazzinho, cool name by the way. How long have you suffered with anxiety for? Has anyone on here seen a return of anxiety with grief and found it passed when the grief got easier?

[Lord Jazzinho]

Thanks for the reply Lord Jazzinho, cool name by the way. How long have you suffered with anxiety for? Has anyone on here seen a return of anxiety with grief and found it passed when the grief got easier?

I had it badly for about 12 years. Its no longer a real presence if my life nowadays but but I leafed lot from it. The trick is not to give it priority and to stop any thoughts that cause it dead before they take hold. Lol Cheers I like the Jazzinho bit but you have to have a first name on face book and Lord was all I could think of, I think I was having Star Wars phase at the time

[ste32]

What techniques have you used to stop those thoughts? I have found recently that it is the fear of having a panic attack at a particular place actually causes the attack to happen. I had a fleeting thought a week ago when we booked the table at the restaurant that I might have an attack there, I was worrying about having an attack on the way to the restaurant and then from the moment we sat down it started. I have been through phases over the years of all the different causes it could be. Mainly my heart, but three different doctors and a cardiologist have told me I don't have any heart issues and I Have recently started jogging for 30 mins a day and already lost a stone.. Go me.. I figure now that if I can run for 15 mins straight without stopping (I'm obviously not at marathon level yet) with my heart pounding and nothing happens that it's not my heart. But now it's moved on to my breathing, just can not let my body control it's own breathing during an attack.

I accepted that these are panic attacks a couple of years ago and there is no evidence of a physical issue but you can't help but wonder. I read on here that magnesium supplements might help. I am willing to try anything to stop these attacks.

Thank you for letting me know that it no longer has a presence in your life. That gives me hope that someday I might be in the same position. I also appreciate you continuing to contribute here even though your are better now. I think I would want to try and avoid all mention of the subject if I were in your position.

Thanks again

[Lord Jazzinho]

What techniques have you used to stop those thoughts? I have found recently that it is the fear of having a panic attack at a particular place actually causes the attack to happen. I had a fleeting thought a week ago when we booked the table at the restaurant that I might have an attack there, I was worrying about having an attack on the way to the restaurant and then from the moment we sat down it started. I have been through phases over the years of all the different causes it could be. Mainly my heart, but three different doctors and a cardiologist have told me I don't have any heart issues and I Have recently started jogging for 30 mins a day and already lost a stone.. Go me.. I figure now that if I can run for 15 mins straight without stopping (I'm obviously not at marathon level yet) with my heart pounding and nothing happens that it's not my heart. But now it's moved on to my breathing, just can not let my body control it's own breathing during an attack.

I accepted that these are panic attacks a couple of years ago and there is no evidence of a physical issue but you can't help but wonder. I read on here that magnesium supplements might help. I am willing to try anything to stop these attacks.

Thank you for letting me know that it no longer has a presence in your life. That gives me hope that someday I might be in the same position. I also appreciate you continuing to contribute here even though your are better now. I think I would want to try and avoid all mention of the subject if I were in your position.

Thanks again


Panic Attack always made me short off breath and raised my pulse. Now I haven't had one for a long time and I always new what caused mine. What I think you need to do and what I did is just accept you are having one at the time and have the confidence that it will pass, if you focus on the worry of having one then you will have. effectively you are writing your own story and it seems this is whats happen from the example you have given me. Now don't get me what these aren't easy things to do, you have to commit to it and not let yourself get disheartened. How I manage thoughts is like this Bad thought, Combat (flip the perspective), positive focus. e.g. Bad thought, I think I may have a panic attack at this restaurant. Combat, I am no more likely to have one there then anywhere else. The most importatant of 3 Positive focus, Ooh I'm really looking forward to trying there steak or whatever (and sometimes a lot of cigarettes lol). Anxiety is in essence a the result of a focus on the negative, change your perspective on negativity when it comes, focus on all the good things you have and enjoy and appreciate them.

[ste32]

Thanks, I will put your advice in to practice and let you know.

[Lord Jazzinho]

Thanks, I will put your advice in to practice and let you know.

Cool. I hope it works well for you and I'm looking forward to hearing from you :)

[ashly1221]

I used to get panic attacks DAILY. Full on panic attacks where I thought I was dying of a heart attack. I called an ambulance the first time it happened, I didn't know what it was. A few trips to the hospital and dr and sure enough I had anxiety. I don't get panic attacks anymore, therapy helped a lot with it. I found what always helped me was to actually raise my heart rate. I would go for a bike ride or walk or run, something to give my mind a reason for my heart to be beating so fast. Kind of like reverse psychology on myself. It usually helped. Another thing I would do if I felt I couldn't get myself outside was lay on my living room floor and just concentrate on breathing steady and even. Of course you can never breath right when you're in the middle of an attack but it would keep my mind focused on trying to get my breaths under control and not so much on how I was feeling. And self talk. When I get anxiety attacks now I just remind myself I've done this before and was ok, so I can do it again. I hope some of that helps. And I hope you start to feel better soon !

[Lord Jazzinho]

I used to get panic attacks DAILY. Full on panic attacks where I thought I was dying of a heart attack. I called an ambulance the first time it happened, I didn't know what it was. A few trips to the hospital and dr and sure enough I had anxiety. I don't get panic attacks anymore, therapy helped a lot with it. I found what always helped me was to actually raise my heart rate. I would go for a bike ride or walk or run, something to give my mind a reason for my heart to be beating so fast. Kind of like reverse psychology on myself. It usually helped. Another thing I would do if I felt I couldn't get myself outside was lay on my living room floor and just concentrate on breathing steady and even. Of course you can never breath right when you're in the middle of an attack but it would keep my mind focused on trying to get my breaths under control and not so much on how I was feeling. And self talk. When I get anxiety attacks now I just remind myself I've done this before and was ok, so I can do it again. I hope some of that helps. And I hope you start to feel better soon !

Cheers for putting this up cos it contains a little gem that many people may not realise, I may even do a post about it myself sometime. The bit where you say "Self Talk". Self talk is important for everybody as it is the easiest way to straighten out your thoughts, when i am on my own i can have quite long conversations with myself where I actually speak. Now this is said to be the first sign of madness but don't believe it for a second, it is by far the easiest way to organise your mind, resolve issues and make decisions. I'll be honest I think the saying talking to yourself is the first sign of madness was deliberately introduced to keep people confused because for me this kind of keeping stock has proven extremely effective in dealing with anxiety, anger and many other things. And if you think that I me a little paranoid just remember this "when the cats away the mice will play" apply that to human beings and it logically follows that the mice could have played a part in the cat being away in the first place. Lol sorry for the tangent. Hope this is useful :)

[Dennis83]

I kinda felt the same when my wife was expecting. You don't want to overwhelm your wife with your irrational fears, as she is undergoing all kinds of hormonal changes right now, and expects your support. Plus it seems like you have some extra time now to analyze things, but it will soon change and you'll probably just snap out of it when you experience the birth of your child. Read a book about dad's to be to take your mind away from negative things and you'll score some points with your wife! Don't aim at "normal" or "perfect" life, it can't be that by definition, just do your best, and it will get better!

[ashly1221]

Cheers for putting this up cos it contains a little gem that many people may not realise, I may even do a post about it myself sometime. The bit where you say "Self Talk". Self talk is important for everybody as it is the easiest way to straighten out your thoughts, when i am on my own i can have quite long conversations with myself where I actually speak. Now this is said to be the first sign of madness but don't believe it for a second, it is by far the easiest way to organise your mind, resolve issues and make decisions. I'll be honest I think the saying talking to yourself is the first sign of madness was deliberately introduced to keep people confused because for me this kind of keeping stock has proven extremely effective in dealing with anxiety, anger and many other things. And if you think that I me a little paranoid just remember this "when the cats away the mice will play" apply that to human beings and it logically follows that the mice could have played a part in the cat being away in the first place. Lol sorry for the tangent. Hope this is useful :)

I find myself talking out loud sometimes, usually on purpose other than the occasional cluster of swears that come out like uncontrollable verbal diarrhea when I stub my toe, hit my not so funny to hit funny bone ect.. I talk to my dog a lot. He is attached to the hip with me so when I am having a bad day in terms of feeling anxious I will talk to my loyal Husky. Self talk has always been a big part of my therapy and has proved time and time again how effective it actually is. I use it in conjunction with breathing and attempts at meditating. Different things work for different people. It's just a matter of trial and error. I always try something a few times to make sure I really gave it a shot. Breathing didn't work for weeks for me at first and I kept trying and then one day just like nothing, it worked :) Don't really know where I was going with that rant ...Just feels good to connect with other people who have anxiety :)

[ste32]

Thank you all for your responses, I can really identify with what you have been through Ashly I have had so many "I get that" moments while reading your posts in this and the other thread I commented on. I would not wish anxiety on my worst enemy but it helps to know it's not just me.

Dennis did you ever worry how you would be during the stress of watching your wife give birth and if so how were you when it actually happened? I worry how I will be with my child, I don't want to have anxiety around my child at times when I am needed most.

I had a really bad day not long after my dad died where I tried everything from the breathing techniques, to the muscle tense and relax techniques, to blowing the crap out if stuff on my xbox but I just could not relax. I tried walking round the house talking to myself and saying positive things. But I think I was in such a black hole that nothing worked.

I will try talking positively to myself more when I start having another attack, I can't help feel a bit stupid doing it but if it helps..

Like I have said before I recently started jogging every day and that really puts a stop to any stress and anxiety starting and I have lost quite a bit if weight which has boosted my confidence.

My counsellor said I had low self esteem too.

[Lord Jazzinho]

I find myself talking out loud sometimes, usually on purpose other than the occasional cluster of swears that come out like uncontrollable verbal diarrhea when I stub my toe, hit my not so funny to hit funny bone ect.. I talk to my dog a lot. He is attached to the hip with me so when I am having a bad day in terms of feeling anxious I will talk to my loyal Husky. Self talk has always been a big part of my therapy and has proved time and time again how effective it actually is. I use it in conjunction with breathing and attempts at meditating. Different things work for different people. It's just a matter of trial and error. I always try something a few times to make sure I really gave it a shot. Breathing didn't work for weeks for me at first and I kept trying and then one day just like nothing, it worked :) Don't really know where I was going with that rant ...Just feels good to connect with other people who have anxiety :)

For me it was just a habit I always had I did it out of boredom probably but at some point I realised it was useful, granted some nights its kept me awake but when I was stressed it helped me decide what to. I also am quite creative (shoot me for saying that lol) but I get a lot of ideas that need to be refined into something usable and I do that this way to. Now all my Ideas keep me awake at night instead of stress lol

[Dennis83]

Hey Steve, yes my wife jokes that I was more nervous than she was, but that's one place were everybody freaks out. I was mentally replaying scenes from movies where the guys faint, and I was 100% certain that I'll one of those guys. I did better than I thought I would as nurses were nice and understanding, they see that you are nervous and well know the reason, reassuring you that everything is going to be fine, which substantially decreased my anxiety! When the exciting moment came, I truly thought that I was loosing it for a second, but maybe adrenaline kicked in so I went into auto pilot mode, doing whatever I was told by staff without processing information. My brain and body felt numb for a while, but I quickly recovered and it was like, wow we did it moments.