Social Anxiety

[Jt1212]

Hi everyone, I am an 18 year old male, for the past couple years now I have experienced extreme social anxiety and overall general anxiety. I work at Tim Hortons, and have been working there for about 2 months now. I'm not too sure where my anxiety started, but I feel like everyone judges me, and doesn't like me. I have an acute studder that comes and goes, I cannot explain it. I do stress about that, and I feel like people judge me on that too.I am slightly on the larger side, and I feel like people always judge me for that too. Another thing about me is when ever I have to go number 2, if you know what I mean, or when ever im at work, or when ever I go in public, my testes shrivel up to child sized proportions, and stay like that until I get home. Every time before I work I have the worst anxiety, but when I am at work the anxiety subsides. I wish I didn't feel this way, I always feel judged and I feel like no one likes me, I am also a very shy person, I dont like meeting new people and I get worked up and worried over the littlest things. Today I worked but I called in sick, because I felt like I deserved a mental health day. I just want to stop feeling so shy and scared about everything. I want to feel normal, I want to stop worrying about the little things, like going to work, or something that happend that day and I keep carrying it on. I just want to feel normal, does anyone have any tips on how to overcome any of this. Thanks

By: Shyguy77

[Jt1212]

pls help me :( im dying here

[NeverToo...Fear]

Hey there Jt, social anxiety is really tough. You feel everyone is judging you, but really they are not--try to keep that in mind. You focus so much at how you are being looked at that it is really making you miserable. You perceive yourself as shy and thus it's how you are carrying yourself and it can worsen things like that stutter or how you feel.
It's easier said than done, but just try and relax; realize that you are not under that judging microscope. And even if you are, well, who cares? Just be you. A lot of times just owning who you are boosts a confidence in you and that can help tons. :)

These feelings are not going to go away over night, but practice does help. Practice in talking to people, practice in how you carry yourself.

What is a work place called Tim Hortons anyway? A restaurant?

[Dennis83]

Hi Shyguy, I also come to work with same symptoms, I'm just afraid that my anxiety will manifest itself and will be judged by others, like in some stressful situations especially meetings my anxiety simply goes into full gear: I begin sweating, ears turn red, my voice trembles and I often leave with thoughts like "OMG, I totally blew it, this is so embarrassing and etc"... What will my colleagues think? Truth be told, try not to concentrate what people will think of your social skills. Try concentrate on your work as much as possible and not opinions. People I work with seem like a social bunch, some like to crack jokes all day, I know I can't compete with that so I try to compensate with going an extra step to make people like me, and positive reinforcement will ease your symptoms! It's hard to talk your way out of anxiety if your brain and entire nervous system is wired this way, plus it keeps going back but at the same time you are running out of positive thoughts, so you just give in to your fears. The good news for us is that its becoming more socially acceptable, so when I first started having panic I was afraid of seeing psychiatrists, it was like a taboo subject in a family (my dad is a military guy and raised me appropriately). So now I only have to see my primary doctor for SSRI's, so in a way it's just like any other physical illness, that will only get worse if not being treated. It will take couple of weeks and sometime getting used to, but you will feel much better like your normal self, you have a full life ahead of you! I'm sure you will someday look back at this with a smile, as in reality job at Tim Horton is nothing to be stressed about, and you can accomplish much greater things by addressing your anxiety and pursing higher education, because that's the only way you can prove to the world that you are worth something. Good luck :)))

[mint]

First of all, it's great that you are working at Tim Horton's! You get exposed to other people and even though it's scary, it is a good learning experience.
Maybe work on a new hobby... Something that gets you moving around.
I am trying to learn how to work out. It's a lot of work... But you feel better inside and out (even if the inside feelings are just temporary).
Listen to positive uplifting music?

[TaliaJo]

JT, I'm sorry for what you're going through. I also suffer with social anxiety and can relate to some of your post. Keep posting and reading here, I'm new but I see lots of support already. Know that you're not alone!

[Fight the stress]

Great advise for anyone, thanks Dennis. Way to show support