What do you think about this Girl?

[Kyle Morgan]

I'm sorry if this isn't related to the forum but I need to talk about it, (Please read my previous post on my depression before you judge) I feel suicidal all the time and I have come close to killing myself what should I do
I have suffered with Depression and Anxiety for many years now, it's gotten worse lately because my parents have split up and I have been having panic attacks which stops me from doing things that I enjoy doing. A lot of my friends have turned on me lately because they've found out about my depression. I had a female friend who I've known since August. She started talking to me out of the blue because we were both going to the same college. I found to her to be a nice, friendly, person. She is also my next door neighbour and we're both almost 19, sometime during November I had to tell her about my Anxiety and depression because I was getting severe panic attacks in College which meant that I had to do work at home for two weeks. I felt awkward for telling her, but I need to tell her because she was giving me lifts, she was very sympathetic at first and said that if I had any problems that I was welcome to talk to her. I even said to her I'm sorry that I had to tell her and she was like "Don't be silly, I'm here to help, I'm glad you can talk to me and that you can confide in me as a friend". I have recently found out her true colours though and that she isn't as nice as she seems. My best friend(guy) is not particular keen on this girl because she said things to him in school, and they both don't get along but because my female friend seen me bothering with my male best friend, she started acting cold and standoffish towards me.
She stopped talking to me because she thought my friends were freaks and psychos even though she don't even know them, it hurt me because these people she was on about have been my friends since I was 11 years old. She told me to stop bothering them and I said that I wanted to be her friend and my mate's friend. A week later she phoned me up crying because my male friend apparently had said things to her, she was making out that my male friend was saying mean things to her but he weren't. My male friend had said to my female friend for her to quit making me try and argue with him(This was on Facebook by the way) I seen the chat and she was just swearing at him. Lately this Girl said that it was my fault that my friend had said stuff to her, but a few days later she said that it weren't my fault. I gave my best support to her too and she never thanked me.
It seemed like she was just trying to stir up shit between my and my best friend. Recently too she has kept blocking and then unblocking me on Facebook for no reason, I even apologised to her saying that I hope everything is ok but no answer. She is my neighbour and it pisses me off that she acts really two faced around my mother, if she sees my mother she will smile and wave at her, but she won't acknowledge me anymore. She also refuses to give me lifts to the College now because she picks up other people instead. I have also heard rumours that this girl is a bit of a tart, There have been rumours that she flashed her you know what to men at pubs and parties since she was 15. She also is very miserable whenever I see her, and when she drives she just screams and swears at drivers which makes me anxious.
Today I sent her a message on my other Facebook telling her to quit being miserable to me because I offered her help and support all the time and that I never did anything to hurt her, I haven't checked if she's replied but I'm sick of it, she's just messed with my feelings and emotions these past few months. What also annoyed me too is that the last few times she gave me a lift she made me pay for petrol but her other friends didn't have to pay. If this girl weren't my neighbour I think I would have told her to piss off by now, she's treated me like dirt. What do you think of this girl and what should I do?

[NixonRulz]

You have it your best shot but move on

She is one way and you are another.

She's not right or wrong, just different than you and looking to be out and about all the time

And that's fine. She's 19. She's supposed to be a little reckless and flash her boobs at bars

This is what a lot of 19 year olds do. And it's harmless most times

I just believe you need not spend so much time worrying about others when you should be getting yourself right and happy

All that other stuff falls into place when you aren't depressed anymore and your confidence is back

Life isn't as short as it's often claimed., meaning get yourself together and you will have more than enough time to worry of others

[jessed03]

I think you've been kind of a gent about it all.

She clearly has power issues. I mean, a lot of girls do, but that's pretty clear in her case.. She's not compatible with where you're at right now. Like Nixon said. Just how it is at times.

Flashing to get attention, tarting around, they're all power/attention/control issues. She didn't like it when she couldn't get control over you, that pissed her off. Sounds like even now she's toying with you, doing the blocking and unblocking thing, not responding, being two faced.

Her self esteem sounds kinda low, but that's not your fault, you can't do anything to help, change or fix that, that's her issue.

You can do two things, the best way would be to just understand she's a chick, with a couple issues, and leave her alone, you're on a mission now, the negative shit is gonna weigh you down. I've spent time worrying over situations like this, before you know it, a year of life has gone messing around with them, and you're more stressed than when you started.

Or you can take pleasure in the fact that everyday you remind her of a failure of hers. She couldn't control you, and her chick ego HATES that fact. Walk around smugly knowing it. Smirk when you see her, knowingly..

I'm kind of a dick at times, I'd do the second, but you're a cool guy, you've got a future in front of you, do the first one, when you outgrow this chick, you won't care much about this episode ;)

[Kyle Morgan]

You have it your best shot but move on

She is one way and you are another.

She's not right or wrong, just different than you and looking to be out and about all the time

And that's fine. She's 19. She's supposed to be a little reckless and flash her boobs at bars

This is what a lot of 19 year olds do. And it's harmless most times

I just believe you need not spend so much time worrying about others when you should be getting yourself right and happy

All that other stuff falls into place when you aren't depressed anymore and your confidence is back

Life isn't as short as it's often claimed., meaning get yourself together and you will have more than enough time to worry of others

Sorry bit I disagree with you there. I don't think it's right for girls to just flash people their tits, there were rumours of her doing it since she was 15. I think when women do that it can be slutty especially if they do it all the time. I mean people wouldn't like it if a man flashed his dick in front of women, so what makes it ok for a woman to flash her bits and pieces to men. I'm not being sexist but it's true, if a man was to do that he'd get arrested.

[Kyle Morgan]

I think you've been kind of a gent about it all.

She clearly has power issues. I mean, a lot of girls do, but that's pretty clear in her case.. She's not compatible with where you're at right now. Like Nixon said. Just how it is at times.

Flashing to get attention, tarting around, they're all power/attention/control issues. She didn't like it when she couldn't get control over you, that pissed her off. Sounds like even now she's toying with you, doing the blocking and unblocking thing, not responding, being two faced.

Her self esteem sounds kinda low, but that's not your fault, you can't do anything to help, change or fix that, that's her issue.

You can do two things, the best way would be to just understand she's a chick, with a couple issues, and leave her alone, you're on a mission now, the negative shit is gonna weigh you down. I've spent time worrying over situations like this, before you know it, a year of life has gone messing around with them, and you're more stressed than when you started.

Or you can take pleasure in the fact that everyday you remind her of a failure of hers. She couldn't control you, and her chick ego HATES that fact. Walk around smugly knowing it. Smirk when you see her, knowingly..

I'm kind of a dick at times, I'd do the second, but you're a cool guy, you've got a future in front of you, do the first one, when you outgrow this chick, you won't care much about this episode ;)

Thanks, I think I'll pick the second too, I'm tired of letting people push me about and think that their better than me

[NixonRulz]

Sorry bit I disagree with you there. I don't think it's right for girls to just flash people their tits, there were rumours of her doing it since she was 15. I think when women do that it can be slutty especially if they do it all the time. I mean people wouldn't like it if a man flashed his dick in front of women, so what makes it ok for a woman to flash her bits and pieces to men. I'm not being sexist but it's true, if a man was to do that he'd get arrested.

I understand what you are saying

Whether you like it or not, drinking girls sometimes flash. It doesn't make them a slut. It's fun for them.....and anyone who sees it usually

Tough comparison with a guys junk. No one wants to see that. Not even girls in a bar

That is creepy and they would be arrested

Just try not to judge her based on a little craziness

[Kyle Morgan]

It's not that I'm judging her but she did have a reputation for being a big S L U T back in school when I hardly knew her,

[NixonRulz]

It's not that I'm judging her but she did have a reputation for being a big S L U T back in school when I hardly knew her,

Can I get her number?

Kidding Kyle

You know here and I don't so you have much more to go on as to how you see her

I defer to your opinion

[Kyle Morgan]

That is unkind. You heard those things at school yet you were wanting her in your life all the same. Vindictiveness will only bring you down.

You were just chastising Nixon for double standards. If the girl messed about in school so what but suddenly she is a slut or tarty. If it was a boy at school doing the same I'm guessing he would be viewed as lucky or popular etc. see the double standards here? Let her live her life as it's hers to live. Yours is yours. Focus on your own Kyle. That's the only one that you can exert any type of control on.

Good luck Kyle.

No by the way, I was never popular in school, If a guy was to flash at women in a bar, I'd think it'd be disgusting. I don't know why everyone is sticking up for this girl. You act as if I'm the bad guy, I have a right to react and be annoyed when this girl has been messing me about for 5 months. I heard those rumours in school but I didn't know that they were true, but because I've known her the past few months, I know what her personality is like. This girl almost caused me to fall out with someone that I have known for 8 years. I have a right to be unkind once in a while when all I did for this girl was show kindness, but look where that got me nowhere.

[NixonRulz]

That is unkind. You heard those things at school yet you were wanting her in your life all the same. Vindictiveness will only bring you down. You were just chastising Nixon for double standards. If the girl messed about in school so what but suddenly she is a slut or tarty. If it was a boy at school doing the same I'm guessing he would be viewed as lucky or popular etc. see the double standards here? Let her live her life as it's hers to live. Yours is yours. Focus on your own Kyle. That's the only one that you can exert any type of control on. Good luck Kyle.

I was thinking the same Frankie.

You were much more eloquent than I could have said it

But I agree

You're on a roll tonight with the spot on replies

[jessed03]

I think she's kind of psycho, as my above post kinda says, but Frankie and Nixon had more tact than myself to suggest smirking at her, and judging her. Of course this is the right thing to do, sometimes I just enjoy the games women play. They're kinda fun to play back lol.

If you wanna be selfish, and arrogant now cos of all of this, then I completely agree with you here, you've given time and respect to someone who has mistreated you - so be selfish. But being selfish means keeping those things for yourself, giving time to yourself to become better at something, giving respect to yourself, so that you avoid classless situations that could occur if you keep in touch with this girl.

Be selfish, dedicate all of your time to yourself, eat something awesome, learn a new skill, get in good shape, learn to meditate, work on self esteem, anything like that.

You'll come back better for it.

The best revenge isn't bitterness, it's success.

Being mean means investing in yourself now, not her and her games. It's a cliche, and it's hard, very hard cos at times you wanna lash out, but it's the right thing to do bud, and later down the line when you're in a better place, you just laugh at all this nonsense.

If you go looking for a reaction from her, or revenge, then you're being the old Kyle, the one who gets walked over. You'd be giving away your time, and your energy, and getting nothing back in return, again.

Nothing would have changed if you take that route.

[NeverToo...Fear]

Kyle, yes you gave a right to be annoyed, to feel hurt and more. That is why I agreed with you on your other thread that putting down your feelings could be beneficial because before we can let go, we must acknowledge them first. I am not sticking up for the girl. I am saying that spending more of your time focused on what she is or isn't will not result In your well being improving. Turn your attention back to you now.

A final thought....something I read on the tattoo thread yesterday.......

.......Let go, or be dragged.
Well said Frankie.. you're spot on with all the advice here in the thread!

...What do I think of this girl? Well, it sounds like she is totally playing with you and not being fair at all to you.. the two faced stuff, the drama.. gosh, it must be terrible having to be her neighbor! Drop her now and move on. Her loss and the only thing she has done is help you learn and grow form this experience.

And of course it would be awesome to get back at her in some kind of way, but really it would be stooping down to her level and it will only feel good in the moment and not so much later on. Take the high road, Kyle. And focus on yourself, and in the end YOU are the one winning. Be well.

[Kyle Morgan]

I did something silly the other day, I went on my old facebook and I sent her a message telling her to quit pissing about with me and asked her why she kept blocking and unblocking me and treating me badly, since I stuck up for her and helped her. I have not yet checked the message on my old account.

[jessed03]

Do you have a message from her?

[Kyle Morgan]

Do you have a message from her?

Probably not, I haven't checked on my old facebook but I know she's still blocked me on my current facebook, so I guess she's still mad at me

[Kyle Morgan]

I'm just kinda hurt by her right now, I just don't want to hear or see her anymore, it's awkward though because she's my next door neighbour

[jessed03]

Yeah it always sucks when wounds don't get the chance to heal, but get prodded at instead.

Any other girls you spend time with, someone to take your focus off of this?

[Kyle Morgan]

Yeah it always sucks when wounds don't get the chance to heal, but get prodded at instead.

Any other girls you spend time with, someone to take your focus off of this?

Nope Like I said a lot of my friends left when they found out that I had depression, I'm 18 and I've had it since I was 14, but only in the last year I told people because I was annoyed at bottling everything up. The reason I told this girl was because I had to take time off of college for a few weeks because I was getting panic attacks, when I told her back in November she was very sympathetic, she told me that I was always welcome to talk to her, I told her that I didn't want to bother her, and she was saying that I wouldn't be bothering her and that I shouldn't worry, but now she just doesn't want to know me which hurts me in a way because I had feelings for her but I never told her because I didn't want to ruin our friendship that we had. I have two close friends though, but their male, having a good female friend fr company helps. I'm trying to get over her but I find it difficult because I sometimes still see her about because she's my next door neighbour. I'm pathetic at letting people go

[NixonRulz]

Kyle. How bout an update on how you're doing

Have you come across your neighbor girl and had any conversations?

[jessed03]

Buddy it's hard to let people go when you don't have anyone else to fill that space with. Don't be too hard on yourself.

When you have bad depression, low confidence, anxiety etc, social interactions and connections especially with girls are pretty rare.

It's natural to cling to that a little.

I hope you can find some healthy people, and maybe even a young loving señorita to fill the space with.

[Kyle Morgan]

Kyle. How bout an update on how you're doing

Have you come across your neighbor girl and had any conversations?

Hey, nothing really, I haven't seen her about. I don't have the chance to talk to her now since she don't give me lifts any more to college, I still have her phone number though. The thing is though she's blocked me on my current facebook.

[Kyle Morgan]

Buddy it's hard to let people go when you don't have anyone else to fill that space with. Don't be too hard on yourself.

When you have bad depression, low confidence, anxiety etc, social interactions and connections especially with girls are pretty rare.

It's natural to cling to that a little.

I hope you can find some healthy people, and maybe even a young loving señorita to fill the space with.

I still have her number, do you think I should text her in a few days. What I don't get about this girl too is that she had blocked me back in December for a week but she would still text me, I asked her why she had blocked me, but lied and said she didn't. She then unblocked me a few days later, and she now has me blocked again. I haven't texted her because I have a new mobile. I think I blew my chances with her. I don't think I necessarily meant to cling onto her because she was the one telling to go and talk to her if I ever needed support, and that's what I did, and it's not like I was texting her every day. I texted her every 2-3 days to see how she was.

[jjh333]

in this situation, I think for now it might be smart to try and let her go. Maybe she will end up texting you sometime in the future when she wants to, but I think you might benefit finding new people to lean on, especially since she doesnt seem to be as caring as everyone would like. You are always welcome to lean on people here too

[Kyle Morgan]

in this situation, I think for now it might be smart to try and let her go. Maybe she will end up texting you sometime in the future when she wants to, but I think you might benefit finding new people to lean on, especially since she doesnt seem to be as caring as everyone would like. You are always welcome to lean on people here too

Believe me if it was someone else I would have let them go, but it's awkward because she is my next door neighbour and I will still occasionally see her from time to time which makes it harder for me to let go. I admit I'm shit at moving on

[Dahila]

Pretend so hard and as long as you need to lose the feelings...

[jjh333]

I'm the same way. Letting go/moving on is hard anyways, especially when you are going to have to see her from time to time and never really know when. also, I hope your other post was not directed at me! I really was just eating a small dinner and was going to answer you quickly.

Something really silly that I do from time to time is change people's names in my phone when I need to tell myself to not text them. You could pick something like "don't do it!" or like "shes souless!" to try and differ you from wanting to click on her when you see her name in your phone. When I would do that it would just kind of click like, oh the practical side of me shouldn't text that person, even if I really want to right now. it sounds really immature, but it's worked for me

[Kyle Morgan]

I'm the same way. Letting go/moving on is hard anyways, especially when you are going to have to see her from time to time and never really know when. also, I hope your other post was not directed at me! I really was just eating a small dinner and was going to answer you quickly.

Something really silly that I do from time to time is change people's names in my phone when I need to tell myself to not text them. You could pick something like "don't do it!" or like "shes souless!" to try and differ you from wanting to click on her when you see her name in your phone. When I would do that it would just kind of click like, oh the practical side of me shouldn't text that person, even if I really want to right now. it sounds really immature, but it's worked for me

No no lol, I didn't direct it towards you and nobody in particular, it's just that I asked some people and they were being really rude which kinda pissed me off because I thought to myself, well that's what this forum is about, it's to help people and talk about our problems and chat :) The thing is though a part of me dislikes this girl but a part of me still likes her. The thing is she was very kind to me at the start, but there was this big argument that she had with my best friend, and she's been cold to me ever since. I was going to tell her I liked her sometime after Christmas but I never got round too it, It's because we were getting close as friends and I didn't want to risk the friendship that we had. Thanks for your answer, I'm sorry if I seemed like a dick in my other post, it weren't directed to you, I'm fine if people can't answer my question but when people be rude to me for no reason, I get a bit annoyed haha. Thanks :)

[jjh333]

you're fine! it's good to get emotions out, I was just making sure you knew I wasn't ignoring you

[Kyle Morgan]

I've heard back from this girl from my old facebook, this is what she said

"Look I'm not being two faced to you mother, I like her, she's very nice and I'm not just going to ignore her. I just don't want to be involved with any of this anymore because I don't feel comfortable. I don't want to talk that much as I don't want Ben to start again so I'm just removing myself from the situation that is all. It's nothing personal. And I won't be able to give lifts because I give lifts to other people now sorry".

What I basically said to her a few days back was that I didn't like the way she was treating me as a friend, she blames me for everything because my friend had said things to her on facebook, but she exaggerated the whole thing that made it a 100 times worse. I was there for her when she was telling me all this about my friend. What I told her was that if she's going to just refuse to talk to me over nothing, then don't bother acting two faced to my mother by talking to her as if nothing has happened. She then blocked me after this.

[Kyle Morgan]

I have her number, She gave it to me months ago, do you think I could text her in a few weeks to make sure things are ok to give her time and space. I know I've done nothing wrong but if I give her space then we might be friends again

[Kyle Morgan]

Honestly Kyle I think she won't want that from what she said there. She seems to be looking at putting an end to the friendship. I don't believe it will be a good thing for you to text her. If a friendship is going to happen again then maybe she will initiate it down the road and then you will be able to decide then if it's something you think is healthy for you. Just my opinion is all.

Yeah I guess. Oh well fuck her then, because I never did anything wrong

[NeverToo...Fear]

How long have you guys been friends before all this went down? If she wasn't your neighbor, Kyle, it would be the best to just cut ties with her. I can understand wanting to maintain a friendly relationship though, but like Frankie says, it sounds like she wants to end the friendship.. but keep it with your mom apparently.

Definitely think some time should pass before you do anything though.. maybe you can re-evaluate the situation then.

[Kyle Morgan]

Yeah I guess. Oh well fuck her then, because I never did anything wrong

I just don't want her to be all smiles and laughter when she sees my mother because I just think it's all false and twofaced. She put an end to our friendship over something stupidly minor, yet she continues as if nothing has happened by being all kind to my mother. It just pisses me off a little bit

[Kyle Morgan]

How long have you guys been friends before all this went down? If she wasn't your neighbor, Kyle, it would be the best to just cut ties with her. I can understand wanting to maintain a friendly relationship though, but like Frankie says, it sounds like she wants to end the friendship.. but keep it with your mom apparently.

Definitely think some time should pass before you do anything though.. maybe you can re-evaluate the situation then.

I weren't friends with her for that long, since august of last year, we got close, we talked quite a bit at least 3-4 times a week, and we would help each other out. I was going to tell her I liked her before all of the shit happened because I had feelings for her. Because she's my neighbour as well I find it really hard to let her go because I sometimes see her about and I often see her car parked right outside my house, it just makes me annoyed that she ruined the friendship over nothing, I'm hurt because I have lost a number of friends over the last year because they found out about my anxiety and depression. I'm not saying for me and her to be best buddies, but for her to be distant towards me over nothing just annoys me.

[NixonRulz]

I weren't friends with her for that long, since august of last year, we got close, we talked quite a bit at least 3-4 times a week, and we would help each other out. I was going to tell her I liked her before all of the shit happened because I had feelings for her. Because she's my neighbour as well I find it really hard to let her go because I sometimes see her about and I often see her car parked right outside my house, it just makes me annoyed that she ruined the friendship over nothing, I'm hurt because I have lost a number of friends over the last year because they found out about my anxiety and depression. I'm not saying for me and her to be best buddies, but for her to be distant towards me over nothing just annoys me.

Kyle, keep in mind...she is really young

All you youngsters do stubid things and make bad decisions....you are supposed to

Stop obsessing over her. I understand what you had with her, but thats not what you have now

Kinda like focusing on the way you felt before your anxiety instead of focusing on moving forward and accepting where you are

Besides, Frankie, Jillian and Crista are replying to you

Theyre way hotter than the next door neighbor

[jjh333]

thanks nixon! I have a big school thing due tomorrow and a compliment made my stress better!

kyle,

you seem like a really nice guy, and definitely do not deserve all of the ugly remarks that you've said people have commented about you. maybe just tell your mom she is being two faced and then you dont have to worry about that? I think that it's best you let her go for now... you never know what might happen in the future though. she obviously meant a lot to you, there will be new and better people for you to go to for support and who you can also help!

[Kyle Morgan]

thanks nixon! I have a big school thing due tomorrow and a compliment made my stress better!

kyle,

you seem like a really nice guy, and definitely do not deserve all of the ugly remarks that you've said people have commented about you. maybe just tell your mom she is being two faced and then you dont have to worry about that? I think that it's best you let her go for now... you never know what might happen in the future though. she obviously meant a lot to you, there will be new and better people for you to go to for support and who you can also help!

Yeah I did tell my mother about her being two faced, but my mother is a nice person, she said she can't exactly ignore because she doesn't really know her well enough and besides it could cause arguments between her mother and my mother, and my mother is going through a quite a bit right now. Thanks for your help though :)

[jessed03]

Kyle, is this girl pretty?

[NixonRulz]

Kyle, is this girl pretty?

That is really all that matters

Guys are supposed to be shallow

[Kyle Morgan]

Kyle, is this girl pretty?

No she's ugly that's why I liked her, lol Joke. Yeah she was attractive but I liked her as well because I thought she had a nice personality and was kindhearted. I'm not one of them guys who just likes girls for looks.

[jessed03]

I'm not one of them guys who just likes girls for looks.

Very true. They also need to be good cooks! ;)

[Kyle Morgan]

Very true. They also need to be good cooks! ;)

I am back in college next week, I haven't seen my neighbour in quite a while. I'm worried in case I bump into her at the college. Should I say something to her if I see her or should I just avoid her and ignore her.

[Kyle Morgan]

Just say hello Kyle and keep on walking. That is my advice for what it's worth. Shows you are a man of maturity.

I think the whole reason she's not talking to me is because me male friend had said some stuff to her on facebook. She told me she didn't want to be too friendly because she thinks that my male friend would try and ruin our friendship. What I don't get too is that she had blocked me on Facebook a few months ago but she still texted me and talked to me as if nothing had happened. I still have her number, I just want to continue to be her friend but she has me blocked again on facebook.

[Cullingford]

Very true. They also need to be good cooks! ;)
Wisdom beyond your years :)

[Kyle Morgan]

It seems like this girl is afraid to be my friend because my male friend had said some nasty things to her on Facebook, she told me that she doesn't want to talk much because my male friend will get involved again. How can I reconcile my friendship with her. She did say it was nothing personal against me, it's just that she's afraid f being really pally with me because my male friend might start and get involved again.

[Kyle Morgan]

Or she might be just trying to spare your feelings Kyle and wanting to move on. People do come and go in our life. If she really wanted to be in your life then she would be despite your other mate. IMO

Nope, She's very straight and honest, she usually tells people like it is, I'm sure if I had done something to offend her, she would have told me about it. Besides you don't be friends with someone, and then just quit talking to them for no reason at all. It's got be because of the situation that happened between my friend and her. Apparently he said some mean insults to her, I think she just doesn't want to talk to me as much because she's afraid that he'll start on her again, she told me that he weren't happy that me and her were friends.

[Pierogies99]

Nope, She's very straight and honest, she usually tells people like it is, I'm sure if I had done something to offend her, she would have told me about it. Besides you don't be friends with someone, and then just quit talking to them for no reason at all. It's got be because of the situation that happened between my friend and her. Apparently he said some mean insults to her, I think she just doesn't want to talk to me as much because she's afraid that he'll start on her again, she told me that he weren't happy that me and her were friends.

Hey, Kyle. I was in a similarish situation to yours a few years ago, but thankfully I didn't have to see this girl once it went downhill. Even then it was still hard to let go because she would still contact me. Hell, she still sends me a Facebook message every few months to this day. Sometimes I politely respond, but usually ignoring it is much easier since I have little interest in talking to her.

To put it simply, you are making excuses for her. You state multiple times in this thread how two-faced she is, yet here you try to say she is straight forward and honest, and she is anything but. This isn't going to have a happy ending like you want it to have if you keep initiating contact. She isn't suddenly going to become a different person. You have this idealized version of what you want her to be in your head, and it's making you ignore all her faults, which you are aware of, yet still trying to rationalize them. You seem to be seeking validation here for a decision you have already made.

Cut off all contact with her apart from the occasional hello when you see her at home or in school. If that is too hard, don't say anything. Pretend she doesn't exist. Delete her number. You don't need it, and it will only lead to making a mistake (drunk texting is so bad in the type of relationship you have :P). If there is dire need to get in contact with her, she lives next door.

It sounds like she was genuinely interested in being your friend at first, especially since you were someone she could share her problems with. Or she just wanted the attention, and you were more than willing to provide it. She got bored of that though, and now there is no going back. Your relationship will never be the same again, even if you would somehow become friends again, because of all this baggage you guys have. At the risk of sounding like a jerk, a romantic relationship will never happen between you two at this point, so get it out of your head.

I do understand how you feel, and I had friends give me the same advice when it happened to me, but I ignored it and kept making excuses. What I wrote may seem harsh, and I apologize if you take offense to it, but sugar coating it is not going to help you. Do yourself a favor and skip all the needless pain further contact with her will bring. It's not going to be easy at first, but it really does get easier after a while. You just have to be willing to let her go, which unfortunately you are not.

In any case, I wish you the best of luck.

P.S. - I'm new here. First post. Hi everyone!

[jjh333]

pierogies, introduce yourself in the welcome thread!

[jessed03]

Strong first post man :)

I agree both Jillian! Give yourself a welcome in the Welcome thread so we get to know you a bit better.

[Pierogies99]

Done.

/10char

[Kyle Morgan]

Hey, Kyle. I was in a similarish situation to yours a few years ago, but thankfully I didn't have to see this girl once it went downhill. Even then it was still hard to let go because she would still contact me. Hell, she still sends me a Facebook message every few months to this day. Sometimes I politely respond, but usually ignoring it is much easier since I have little interest in talking to her.

To put it simply, you are making excuses for her. You state multiple times in this thread how two-faced she is, yet here you try to say she is straight forward and honest, and she is anything but. This isn't going to have a happy ending like you want it to have if you keep initiating contact. She isn't suddenly going to become a different person. You have this idealized version of what you want her to be in your head, and it's making you ignore all her faults, which you are aware of, yet still trying to rationalize them. You seem to be seeking validation here for a decision you have already made.

Cut off all contact with her apart from the occasional hello when you see her at home or in school. If that is too hard, don't say anything. Pretend she doesn't exist. Delete her number. You don't need it, and it will only lead to making a mistake (drunk texting is so bad in the type of relationship you have :P). If there is dire need to get in contact with her, she lives next door.

It sounds like she was genuinely interested in being your friend at first, especially since you were someone she could share her problems with. Or she just wanted the attention, and you were more than willing to provide it. She got bored of that though, and now there is no going back. Your relationship will never be the same again, even if you would somehow become friends again, because of all this baggage you guys have. At the risk of sounding like a jerk, a romantic relationship will never happen between you two at this point, so get it out of your head.

I do understand how you feel, and I had friends give me the same advice when it happened to me, but I ignored it and kept making excuses. What I wrote may seem harsh, and I apologize if you take offense to it, but sugar coating it is not going to help you. Do yourself a favor and skip all the needless pain further contact with her will bring. It's not going to be easy at first, but it really does get easier after a while. You just have to be willing to let her go, which unfortunately you are not.

In any case, I wish you the best of luck.

P.S. - I'm new here. First post. Hi everyone!

Totally agree with you man, Hi by the way. After today I feel like such a idiot haha

[Pierogies99]

Totally agree with you man, Hi by the way. After today I feel like such a idiot haha

I wouldn't worry about it. Letting go is hard for most people, so not knowing what to do is perfectly normal. Once it happens a few times, you start to get a grasp on what to expect, and how to handle it. Besides, it's almost impossible to objectively look at something like this if you are involved.

Feel free to PM if you have more questions or whatever. I'm by no means an expert on relationships, but I can at least tell you what not to do. :D

[Kyle Morgan]

I wouldn't worry about it. Letting go is hard for most people, so not knowing what to do is perfectly normal. Once it happens a few times, you start to get a grasp on what to expect, and how to handle it. Besides, it's almost impossible to objectively look at something like this if you are involved.

Feel free to PM if you have more questions or whatever. I'm by no means an expert on relationships, but I can at least tell you what not to do. :D

Thanks dude, I seen her today in my College and I just felt pathetic, I seen her going into the College entrance with two random guys, and as soon as she seen me she started to grab both of the guy's arms and tried holding their hands. she was whispering to them both and I caught her smirking at me from her corner of her eye. I said hi politely and smiled and she just giggled, barely looked at me and just muttered under her breath, and she seemed like she was walking where ever I was walking for 5 minutes. I think she's trying to antagonise me.I just found it weird because before she seen me she weren't even holding the two guy's hands lol.

[Pierogies99]

Thanks dude, I seen her today in my College and I just felt pathetic, I seen her going into the College entrance with two random guys, and as soon as she seen me she started to grab both of the guy's arms and tried holding their hands. she was whispering to them both and I caught her smirking at me from her corner of her eye. I said hi politely and smiled and she just giggled, barely looked at me and just muttered under her breath, and she seemed like she was walking where ever I was walking for 5 minutes. I think she's trying to antagonise me.I just found it weird because before she seen me she weren't even holding the two guy's hands lol.

She's just playing games. My advice is to completely ignore her at this point. Don't even look her way. This will piss her off more than anything you could say. If for some reason she wants to talk to you, just tell her you are in a hurry and walk away. Don't look like you are trying to run away though; just casually walk away like she isn't even there. DO NOT, at any point, say sorry or apologize if you do happen to talk to her. I cannot stress this enough. If you somehow get stuck talking to her, keep checking your phone/watch and look impatient. Look her in the eyes. I struggle with this a lot because it is so uncomfortable, but looking away first is a sign of weakness and you lose any advantage you may have had. It's a good confidence booster once you can do this effortlessly, so getting in the habit of doing it is a good idea in general.

To be honest, I doubt any of this will be necessary if you just ignore her, but it's good to be prepared! Gotta practice before you play the game. You aren't Allen Iverson. I really hope someone gets that reference.

[Kyle Morgan]

She's just playing games. My advice is to completely ignore her at this point. Don't even look her way. This will piss her off more than anything you could say. If for some reason she wants to talk to you, just tell her you are in a hurry and walk away. Don't look like you are trying to run away though; just casually walk away like she isn't even there. DO NOT, at any point, say sorry or apologize if you do happen to talk to her. I cannot stress this enough. If you somehow get stuck talking to her, keep checking your phone/watch and look impatient. Look her in the eyes. I struggle with this a lot because it is so uncomfortable, but looking away first is a sign of weakness and you lose any advantage you may have had. It's a good confidence booster once you can do this effortlessly, so getting in the habit of doing it is a good idea in general.

To be honest, I doubt any of this will be necessary if you just ignore her, but it's good to be prepared! Gotta practice before you play the game. You aren't Allen Iverson. I really hope someone gets that reference.

Thanks man, I agree with what you're saying, I have to make sure I'm not too rude because she likes to stir up trouble, and if I say something that slightly offends her, she will tell her mother, and her mother will probably have a go at me and my mother.

[Angie 91]

Hi.

Love, horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable.

I think that people should do whatever the Hell they want to.
It is that simple and that messed up.
You have not been put on this Earth to judge her or anyone else, neither have I.
Maybe she is a free-spirit and reckless, maybe she has got some issues, it's her life.

Fact is: We are always us and we are always changing.
Take what you have learned and move on. I'm very sorry you feel this way.

You might wanna stay away from her, - that would be my advice but, not because she is a bad or good person; but because she makes you feel like you do.

Best,

Angie

[jessed03]

Oh, Angie, hi :)

Love can indeed, suck.