WARNING Content ->Raw Emotion - My head space and Check List. [Archive] - Anxiety Forum - A Home for Those with Anxiety, Fear, or Panic Attacks

Ponder

01-22-2014, 10:24 PM

...and that is fine with me Dahila. Thanks all the same. The advice I shall receive via my upcoming appointment re- my call, to the Community Mental Health Services. Their they shall provide me with some options - to which comes the stale adage; "your choice" syndrome and or "What can we do for you" Then add to that, "What medication are you on?" "Oh - you not taking any???" The medication and typical clinical reaction to "No, I'm having a break - I find psychotherapy to be quite adequate with my exercise thanks", often quells both a dismissal and obvious dissatisfied expression from those doctors that like to use the word medication, as if it where a leash or harness to keep one in check.

The clinical process across the board reeks with a dehumanization process that more suited to a slaughter house processing food. Hell, by the time they input all my wife's details and run us about - it's EIGHT DAYS later, that they decide they'll reconnect the broken bones in her right lower leg. In that time she was rejected care with more than one attempt regarding the pain and continual swelling - "You privately insured comes the reply" - Seems more and more like a case of Elysium for those in the know, and know thy place. The arrogance of these professionals, can be seen in the adornments they shameless display. It was only the other morning at 3AM I contemplated such a thing as the doctor scribbled away with his Rolex, only inches from my Ebay Chinese plastic time piece. Sitting there and watching him process the responses coming from my wife - him with the power to help or not. Another 8 hours pass, before my wife is sent home without help, only to made feel worse for wasting Rolex's Time!

Educational status means shit to me - Plastic People who's only substance is worn externally, to show their place amongst the professional kingdom, and to show others how high they stand. I'd rather remain a cripple than be treated by such demeaning individuals!

So it is, that I now must prepare my NON MEDICATION TREATMENT SPEECH ...

Although the appointment at this community mental health place is not for some days yet, I drove over in the vicinity to find the place. After finally working out where I may be able to park, I went in search of the building. Walked in and started reading some of the pamphlets. "You right there mate?" - "Yea, I got an appointment next week, just wanted to aquatint myself with the place - I'll be out of your hair soon" (flatly said) -

After walking into that medical center unprepared - my fuse is now pretty much burning. Hell, I was almost in tears ringing that mental health place, but detected too much authority creeping in with the ladies tone who fielded that call. Citing my meds the way she did really threw me off and sent the alarm bells ringing! Turns out she is the one going to be interviewing me. Sigh - Truth is, I need a good cry! What comes to mind here as well, is that if I do - next will come "hows about being a good boy and go back on your meds" perhaps not said like so - Such a shame if I can't be encouraged with what already works -

Arrrrrrr - but then I guess it's said, "If so, then why are you here?" - True enough I guess - Fuck it - Throw me back on the Chemicals - those mind blockers - that'll do the trick!

Hmmmmm - I think not. I'd rather wait till the ramblings of park bench despair set in, before the doping begins. The reason I am here is to get some one on one - have a cry (But one does have to be careful who ones open up too!) - I'm here - because ???? -

What other options you got other than chemical?

I think it's time for me to see what groups are about. Online is OK, but has it's limits - not to mention pit falls as well.
So far - my own plans of exercise, sun and healthy eating - have been somewhat offset with unforeseen events. Wife's broken Leg at the worst possible hour. Not to mention the recent "notice to leave" before time and then the move itself plus BS tenancy treatment. As for the fucked up doctor and his own attitude - I'll be fucked if I'll let things like that look down on me. Medication - Pffffft - tether yourself! Sure it has it's place - but again - these are the plastic things who abuse their power and treat us like shit.

On that note - time for me to take some of my own medicine and hit the treadmill. Some more beach walking and begin with the stretches. I so hope this individual is able to HELP me next week! Again - it's time to go out and find others like me - In the non digital world.

Must ring hospital - prepare dinner for the boy - and read some sci-fi.

This here be my check list and the wall to which I bounce my words. Whatever works - Raw is what it is, till my wifes leg heals, I change me SHAPE - and do what I must in order to try my hand at a little participation. JFC; Coming from the man that wishes to disassociate! I guess even us people haters need friends too.

The Troll Brigade - LOL - aaaahahahahahaha....

Ponder

01-22-2014, 11:37 PM

Treadmill - CHECK!
AWESOMEEEEE SWEAT SESSION -

Mindfulness walk on the sand - Next.

Ponder

01-23-2014, 04:28 AM

"Yep yep ... no problem. Twice verified now - and clearly understood. All aboard ... last call.

I'm using my own two feet for support on this one.

Thankfully my main system just crashed after setting up. I also have my hands full with Mother in Law coming to "help with house" Not sure how that will go.

None the less I will use this as my dumping ground - until the trash starts to add flavour, then perhaps I may be able to help spread the petals that mask the smell.

Excellent Walk - I found a system in which to air myself out before grinding on - with the sweat!

Lots - lots to do! ... we shall see, how the system chooses to deal with those of us - choosing a path - Med Free! - Hand Cuffs! Bridging the gap between professional main stream thinking and genuine health "CARE" Based on individual needs - Not some "degree!" I said I would not tolerate such capitalist tinkers playing with peoples lives like so.

I'll do the therapy - find the group sessions, participate - practice the "mindfulness" get back into my photography - watch my diet and exercise - but lets see how doctors react on a personal level when they hear about being med free - Most will simply not help; Alas the term - The Leash!

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - actually, I'll just tell em, I am using Valerian :
http://www.enetmd.com/content/treat-anxiety-Valerian

Worked well on me the other night - I wonder if that will suffice to keep their dissatisfaction from imposing on me. I do believe I will take some tonight - even trial it before having to suffer the indignity of a GP visit regarding my request for the 12 month mental health plan. Pompous pricks! Quick to dope you up, yet make you beg for a bit of one on one with so called paid listeners. Now that's SAD!

I often have to remind myself "Dave, you know these people are paid to listen! hmmmmm lets get that straight!" - NEXT!

Ponder

01-23-2014, 04:41 AM

If Society wishes to go on with all its BS inequality, the least it can do is live up to it's own responsibility in cleaning up its MESS! They make these fancy claims of health and welfare safety nets, but the administration robs people of their dignity which ensures its own position - done - next - done - next - nothing but the revolving door treatment. It's beyond an imperfect world - pfffffft - at such reasoning. Not to worry - Jesus is coming back soon - let's leave it up to Him and His father to fix. ;)

Now - to find those herbs!

Dahila

01-23-2014, 08:00 AM

Valerian is pretty potent, but you need to take a break from it after 6 weeks, two weeks break, I hope that you will find someone who will listen, and instead reaching for prescription pad, will give you some ideas...

Ponder

01-23-2014, 11:57 AM

If a substance really made gain in working as it should, then a brake should do no harm for the leverage gained.

I was thinking more the taxing on liver with regards to break but then was only assuming. With regards to it being potent, it leaves me nowhere as doped during the mornings as Quitepine. Good News is - at least this morning - I'm up fresh before the Sun.

Going to Google times and see if it's worth getting the camera out.

TY

Ponder

01-23-2014, 12:42 PM

whilst it pays to be in the moment, that one passed me by. Seems one has to be up around 4am here to set up in the right spot.

I never got around taking the Valerian at any rate - by the time I hit the sack and made an attempt to do some light reading, I fell to sleep at any rate. My persistence whilst choosing NOT to ware blinkers is slowly making some gain. Sure I'm a raging bull within, however that storm must come to pass as it always does, after having let go for so long. If I can not face each of these unfoldings and revelations as they approach, be and continue - and do it on my own grounds - then I am not myself, but a pawn in this facade; this pursuit of happiness that is so taught to set us free.

Ponder

01-23-2014, 01:00 PM

Damn it - back on the Tab with all its limitations - sounds a bit like the liberty, yet another word used with as much compassion a weapon could muster. Everyone works so hard to climb the ladder - to find thier niche - then it's all about paying thier debt - what they owe - to everyone else. The guilt, fear and shame - bolstered and fostered within only to be passed when the externals have been gained - Here I stand with all these things that make me; yet more more awaits in the after life - back to work so thouest will become even more richer in eternity!

Meanwhile - back in the Opraha Winfrey Aid Camps - where those little devils are forgiven due to deing so young, yet born into Sin. How quaint such religious BS can be. Always some way to justify having so much - to skip on by with a few quotes - as if anothers words did not exist, but for thier own popularity -

Ponder

01-23-2014, 01:08 PM

BIG BREATH -

GOALS -

Do my best to control my pain and be nice to Mother In-law (in-LAW???) I think sometimes our laungauge is really fucked up.
Hmmm -> Start with kitchen!

Look after my chaffing - play it smart so I can keep MOVING! ...

Ring my wife and be Nice to her as well - Her Mum is comming - Good time for them both to heal, given recent stress on both sides there.
Prepare for the all the Relgious Talk - OMG - drops to the floor ......

Dave - You really have to take that camera for a walk man! -> on one of those mindfulness walks.

Shit -> Best make some space for Mum In-Law.

OK ------ Your Awesome Dave! - YOU CAN DO THIS! -

Ponder

01-24-2014, 01:21 AM

So far so good - ;)

Ponder

01-24-2014, 01:53 PM

So what's today's agenda going to be.

climatization and high stress levels are not making this clammy burning sensation between my legs any more comfortable. This really seems to be impacting on my ability to push the exercise. I hate to say it, but I may just have to be content with gentle walking and sorting out all my other shit; perhaps even wait for the weather to cool in the months ahead. SIGH!

The wife and her Mother seem to be getting along good. I'm actually thankful for a much needed break myself. When she arrived, I think it was obvious that my mental condition has declined somewhat since having seen Mother in-law some time ago. Many years and at the cost of detrimental and declining contact with her grandchildren; has it taken for such in-laws to accept me as I be. Their own pursuits can not replace such misfortune as is the only term such blissfully seekers can comprehend.
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To let the BS fling and pass me by - I do so as I contemplate the pharmaceutical guy who casually comments "So you've moved into this wonderful part of the world hey - whereabouts did you BUY" Pfffffft ... about as tactful as some pompous doctors who's never met you "So what line of work you in!"

"I'm just a meagre renter" eventually came my reply. To add insult to injury, the lady I presumed to be his wife, then comes out with a can of air freshener to spray at flies. "Hahahah" I LOL "Don't worry love, I'll be out of your hair soon!"

There would be no avoiding this place as it be a contractor for Australian Post - Not only was I there picking up pain killers for my wife's post op, but also my Chinese Low Bow and set of arrows to which Mother in-law was quite surprised. LOL . None the less - I was content to think how much my wife's MS refrigerated meds would of been worth. I'll just drive elsewhere knowing it's enough that I'll just support those more willing to treat others with respect. That way, I should be less contentious when gong back in for our postal supplied. I'll be sure to arrive just after hitting my treadmill and bring my own can of spray for them mans wife. "here, allow me!" chuckles to think.
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HMMMMMMMMMMM

Goals Goals Goals :::

I really want to find someone to come to the doctors with me. I don't wish to replay my outbursts or even the above basic demeaning we humans inadvertantly target each other with. I guess I have had a laugh about the fuckwits who own the chemist up on the hill between the two towns, but Doctors the way they be now in a world full of pain -> that changes my tone as just done.
Doctors and Drug Dealers whom act more like Turnkeys (Screws in a prison) Key holders whom when pushed and tired themselves cause more pain the good. Who the fuck am I going to get to come with me; lest I yet again - dig my own grave!

Makes me think way back when moving house yet again, how some JW or Mormon pair offered to actually help us with some of the heavy lifting. "Just give us a call" they said. If not for all those damn attachments such charity I would go on to fostered what ever good remain in me. I'd clearly give back 10 fold - but so sad that unless it comes with anything less than obedience plus undercurrents of fear and yearnings to worship, that such help is quickly withdrawn later on. With a dusting of their feet they brand you unworthy not unlike the non religious types who so too - are only in it for the gaining.
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God damn hand cuffs! - Only way those professionals listen. Not allowed to suffer unless you ON ... such and such ... No fucking wonder people explode!

Takes a deep breath - My only friend the Sun which is now at a good point in which to greet me. Must find some group that can help me before next doc visit. That Community Mental Health clinic is on the same day as my dreaded 2nd doctors appointment. (also such places are baed more on compliance than actual symptoms.) (DO NOT SETTLE FOR UNCARING AND MECHANICAL DOCTORS) Chill ...

Ponder

01-25-2014, 02:13 PM

WARNING -> HIVES! ...even cirrhosis/Psoriasis -> Major Skin Disorders FROM -->Quetiapine/Seroquel. More so coming off them! NO fucking wonder I have been climbing the walls. I thought it was fleas weeks ago, however after dong all the right things and moving house, I was not satisfied with nailing the source of all my scratching. Last resort I research Hives & Quetiapine/Seroquel. BINGO. You want find it under a basic Side effects search, however specifically searching in relation to HIVES has brought up various forum users here and there with additional notes as well.

Lower Legs for many, as is for me. I find my shoes and socks can set it off as we as a gentle breeze across my hairs triggering a sensation of creepy crawly's across my skin; hence always thinking its insects of some sort. Apparently natural antihistamine levels are screwed with in the same way all these meds fuck the body's capacity to make it's own natural balance of things. Other than Reactions - it's the reliance on these meds that's imprisons the individual, as coming off them is where most of the angst begins. I am taking antihistamines for now and will be weening myself of them as time goes by. Man it's been Pure Hell with all the itching and rashes. With regard to all of this going on, I am not discounting the area of effect between my legs!

Ar yes -> As much as bane as the hives themselves. My skin in some places is finding it hard to breath - much more than the usual open spots covered up with poorly selected materials and infrequent airings. My present war on DOCTORS & MEDICATION is far from over. I will be fucked if I'll roll over and comply to such BS dismissals and selected hearing! The insanity that plagues my head is more resultant from the provided services and this thing they dare, to call a Civilization. The quality of professional resultant from the now numerous hi tech and cereal packaged universities, has really created a jack of all trades and master of none! These days, self Diagnoses is not such a bad idea. Most of us would do better to avoid the lot and only call up supposed humanitarian serviced in extreme life threatening situations.
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Moving on ... Well Mother in-law goes home today. I'm quite pleased to report things went well - LOL imagine that - Not all doom and gloom after all! Ponder - why you sound like your making ground. Must be all that realism and free expression hey? Wink wink - fucking Oath - Fucking A! Embrace the suffering my friend!

The deeper side is, that when I heard her holler, whilst I was out back in the shed with air compressor on the go - I immediately shut the thing down and headed over for a much needed hug regardless of who was calling. Basically met her on the step to which my wife broke that damn leg! All in all things went well on that front. Because of all the help we received I was able to complete building a safe indoor archery target range for my Son & I.

Now that's a project I'm really proud of! My Son and I can spend less time fighting each other but instead have much more fun as it should be. Not exactly impressed that he lifted not one finger to help me, but that's my boy and I really don't mind. Just glad we can zone out together shooting arrows safely into the shed. Most impressed I was with the shabby man at the recycling tip; that I saw much of myself in - "arrrr - good plan, the carpet is only shit, you can have the lot for TEN dollar ..." - "THANK YOU! Thanks man - - woops, that is a man under all that grime; is it not???" I graciously said then quickly thought. LOL - I was so happy to finally be given a break - I could care less who the fuck was about.

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I cleaned out my computer and reinstalled - going to play evil video games and have fun with Son -

Will also get some Sun and possibly if able exercise some more - have been very active all the same.

Until next post - Take care of yourself DAVE ;)

Ponder

01-26-2014, 02:53 AM

Big effort today!

Drench session on the treadmill. Worked up a whole 5 minutes trotting without stopping. repeated and rinsed 5 times with a gradual drop off with a few one to two minutes casual walking in between. Chaffing and Heat/Sweat rash between legs was not so bad today, so I decided to make the most of it by hitting the treadmill since my previous attempts where still within "range". Really had to dig deep and whilst 5 minutes may sound like nothing to some young spiffy buck - It was one hell of a push that left me somewhat breathless. It was uncomfortably good!

I'm hoping if I am able to curb the Hives and other skin issues relating to coming off the Psychiatric Meds - that I will be able to continue pushing myself hard on the treadmill with the passing days and sweat the POISON out. Tear my body down cell by cell and force it to make new unadulterated 100% all natural chemicals - regardless of the instability such raw emotions are so commonly written off as.
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That being exercise with a genuine intent - coupled with following up on my previous clinical Psychologist recommendation and reference - I should still be within my rights to both request and receive yet another 12 month mental health plan. Even the police that where called out advised me that would be best. ALAS - Some fucking DOCTOR I don't know - has already raised the issue on Meds and reacted with a fucked up attitude as I say "NO" "NO I'm not taking the Meds!" Who the fuck are these doctors to act like fucking GODS when it comes to such requests. Psychotherapy I rate much more effective and less detrimental. It is in essence the larger part of my stability. To hear some fucking Idiot dressed in a suit with a fucking degree stuck on his wall --- WHO THE FUCK DOES NOT KNOW ME - act like his or her shit don't stink ... GRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

OK - hows this:
Print this out:

FACTS:
And read out - FACTS:

1. Just granted a Disability Support Pension -> Go fucking figure!

2. Clinical Psychologist from previous address, has organized an new Contact for ongoing Psychotherapy - Dr Bla Bla -->(ring to get formal contact details)

3. Police intervention (job number bla bla) just prior to my move - also recommend ongoing psychotherapy

4. This is my second doctors visit because the last doctor seemed to have an issue with the fact I was not on my Meds. That session ended badly! No I am not currently on my Meds. This topic I DISCUSS with those I TRUST. Typically a therapist (not so clinically cold to my case - such as is your predisposition, currently to me) I am no longer taking the Quetiapine/Seroquel because of the massive weight gains and following medical complications I suffer as a result. The medicine did help me at the time from spiraling into borderline paranoia and was prescribed by a psychiatrist at the base hospital. Currently I am making good gains with exercise, healthy doses of Sun and as of today made contact with the local community mental health Services. I am also eating much better for now. I have also weened myself off the anti-depressants as per discussed with my therapist. In fact, everything I do with regards to my medication - I discuss with my therapist and it has been agreed, that if indeed, psychotherapy, exercise, outdoor activity and healthy eating - combined later with community integration when I am able - does in fact take a positive turn, that I am within my right to have a break from taking medications full time!

TODAY I am here to request a 12 month mental health plan as is expected of me, by other agencies. I believe I am well within my rights and am not here to debate my medications with you!

Now are going to to fucking help or not!
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Yea ---- I think that about covers it. No doubt I will have to make some edits to that - Hmmmmm - I really should try and get someone to come with me. Wife still out of actions for up to minimum 8 weeks!

I have that appointment with the mental health services, but it's on the same day as that upcoming docs appointment in two days. Also as I said earlier - I kind of detected a little Authoritarian in her voice which Is rather aggravating for me. Shame how they turn to using such a tone so easily - but then that's the bane of meeting people cold. I don't do well at all with first time visits and am terrible with the revolving door staff counter types so commonly used in main stream. SIGH - The purpose of that visit will be to list whatever groups I can try. And try I will! - I don't do Drugs, Drink and nor out for a fucking free ride! That's the problem with STIGMA - and those doctors who think they be the judges who hold the keys. That fucking drives me wild!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! More and more people ought to stand up to those professional stand over merchants. The abuse that goes on with the weak, sick and disabled is rampant as hell behind with such entrusted types. Get em In - Get em Out! This will be my last Bulk Billing Session if it pans out like the last gutter clinic's pathetic service.
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On another note - why bother with being so open on such things - Obviously I am stressing quite a bit and feeling so LOW - so unworthy - insecure - and all those others pathetic me me me - That's how doctors make me feel, when they try and judge me - I mean Jesus Fucking Christ! - You'd think they would be more against people trying to get on drugs as opposed to getting off them. What's the fucking world coming too!

It's a personal thing - Piss them off and watch how easily they make your life hell - make you beg - Now that's the fucking truth with those students ones - opinionated ones - bulk billing ones -
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Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Awesome - That felt good! Just like me treadmill run!!!!!

If you can't tell - I HATE FUCKING DOCTORS. :) Tis such an imperfect world. Whatever you do - Don't Get Sick - once you do, your fucked for life! Two a day, with your meal - best of luck coming off them. ;)

The expelling continues ... plenty of sweat to come - It's good to be breathing - better than being dead I guess. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. It's like getting up a good sweat!

Ponder

01-26-2014, 03:07 AM

Ultra sensitive on a hair tiger. I know. It's terrible how some people can see you quavering and yet give you that ever so deceptive smug smile as if intended to send you over the edge. That's what one of the lady doctors did, at that last place when I had a pannic attack and flipped out. These are the kind of doctors I am talking about. Very Very fucking Sad Indeed! No paranoia there, it's just appropriate for them to claim such a thing. Pffft - Imperfect world - yea right! I never forget that when people look at others like that. I wonder if others know from where I talk?

Good Night to my sick friends out there - whom they ever be. I see the counter ticking over and that at least makes me feel better for being read. I don't claim anything other than what's spinning in my head. I make no wrongs or rights - is whatever the fuck it is.

Good Night. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ponder

01-26-2014, 02:31 PM

WELL -I actually think I may do better at the next doc's trip. Pays to let it out I guess. Moving On ... MOTIVATION -> The meds have their uses but rarely are they looked at beyond the control we expect them to bring. Been on and off enough to know now that for all their good comes a compromise of one sort or another. There is however one constant that seems to be a fact, that when on any for long enough a point will come in which without any input from oneself; a tipping point will be reach in which the good becomes the trap.

Looking for happy moments built on the encouragement of others, means nothing if it does not first come from within. As well meaning as it all may be - it's easy to give advice, but harder to follow your own.
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Now it is, that I will show my Location as I stand and take the following snap from "the" front door. The house depicted is adjacent the house which we now rent. I'm pleased to report that sea breeze is doing wonders for my health. Looks as if High tide is in. I will include a couple of others shooting from the same location with an old low quality refactor "telescope @ FL 550mm/AP 90mm more meant for stargazing than anything else. No Photoshop yet as just reinstalled and quality set to it's lowest point. Hopefully I will get back into taking some stunning shots soon enough.

For now - this is my Point Of View. I'll often walk out just to take in the air. This township is quite small although still have neighbors which I guess is a small price to pay for such a view and clean air.

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/ByTheBay001_zpsa7d0c781.jpg (http://s181.photobucket.com/user/davekyn/media/ByTheBay001_zpsa7d0c781.jpg.html)

Same location. Shot over the top of car parked across road with satellite dish still in view.
http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/new002_zpsd4e372c6.jpg (http://s181.photobucket.com/user/davekyn/media/new002_zpsd4e372c6.jpg.html)

Again - Same boat moments later ...
http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/new008_zpsb2cae1d0.jpg (http://s181.photobucket.com/user/davekyn/media/new008_zpsb2cae1d0.jpg.html)

I typically walk at another location further up around the beach as it bends. This spot is to close for me - I just enjoy the breeze. Further up I'll enter a spot and look to come out at low tide where the water retracts for near a kilometer or thereabouts. I might fish later on, but only from the sand however for now, I would rather just take out my camera and share those shots in here. I'll install Photoshop and think further on just what it is I want to share. Ripples, shells, and all those things I believe typically become faded with time and complacency. I would often contemplate how it is that others would no doubt think, "how on earth can someone just keep shooting the same thing" -

I'll see how I go fishing with my camera - not sure I will do many lens changes with the wind and sand, but guess I'll sort something out.
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Now back to the BS - SIGH - breath breath breath..................

Cullingford

01-26-2014, 02:47 PM

What a wonderful spot Dave, I love the palm trees! looking forward to seeing more pictures thankyou.

jjh333

01-26-2014, 05:57 PM

great pictures! the beach has always been my happy place. post some more often! good luck with everything coming up, stay strong

NixonRulz

01-26-2014, 06:20 PM

Someday that will be my type view

Marco island Florida fishing the flats everyday

Oh, yeah it snowed again today here in my reality

Dahila

01-26-2014, 07:08 PM

Last post; it is easy to meditate with so much water around....

Doctors.....they just send my hubby home with blocked veins and told him, they can do nothing....

My GP abused me a few times, (I am terrified of that bitch) because I said I am not going to take Trozadone, I think, because i could not breathe taking it. Eman told me that they are sulfa and I am allergic to it. She has it on my Record Sulfa and ASA in ten cm letters. When i said no to Celexa she was furious. I thought she is going to throw me out... it is very difficult here to get family doc, the one who can write prescription...eh

I am happy that you are improving Dave, just ***ck all the others. It must be easier in place like that. I hope your wife is feeling better...

Ponder

01-27-2014, 03:07 PM

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Yea, thanks guys. Much appreciated. I still have some ways to go. Dahila - with regards to the context of "Last Post" and the mention of it, I ponder on that? So having now finally logged back into my Flickr Account, all I can say, is I still feel the need to continue on in the manner as I have previously done in the posts before that. Doing so is what enables me to later open up in the manner that knows know judgment - yet the process regardless of taste, should always be sort in order to let go. So it is that perhaps obscure in my previous expressions, that I am in fact grateful for all that you say and your continued support. I'm getting there - but more bumps will ensue as I continue embarking on what I must. The weight is dropping, however I am unable to avoid all these feelings and must once again - express as I must. I don't know any of these people on a personal level that I yell and scream about - but none the less, if allowing myself space in which to involuntary flinch, wince and grunt enables the rest of me to keep moving; then so I must. The practice itself is rather therapeutic, revealing much of what simmers beneath. Writing like so -> for now -> is my Valve.

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7218/7041942327_7326e9b9df_c.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/7041942327/)
Thanks for opening up (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/7041942327/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

I have really come to believe in much of the stuff I have gleaned. That our true natures are layered in the world's residual pain and that the more we seek to individualize and identify with all these things and symbols we seek, the more we add to ours and others pain. I know I am repeating myself again, however talking like this is much more directed with clarity and intent for me. All that bliss, purpose and pursuits I rave on about is that damn layering of our true selves and is as destructive a force as man and machines destroying Nature itself. Human Nature reinvented without stability only to be managed with synthetics & drugs.

The very definition of most of these psychological Imbalanced Predispositions is insanity itself! The blame on individualism is nothing short of a cop out to Society's Responsibility, to make change itself. This brings me back to Western Ideals to which I shall not seek to Bore or Insult those already so wrapped in blissful life's coaching/imprinting - flavored with sugar and spice - One day, I shall eventually find a comparison to show up such ideals for the sickness it truly is that can not go unheard. OH Yes - I shall Move On - but whilst doing so, I will never turn a blind eye to such disgrace. ...and to think with what Grace humanity dares to Condemn, both this Planet and all it's inhabitants! Tully a disgrace to call oneself Human! All based on BS promises, beyond an already costly & so sort after, supposed Utopian Civilization -> that if one can only keep on pursuing, that yet; Another Kingdom Awaits. What selfish fucking pricks!
__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _________

OK - that was not so bad was it? No polishing allowed (edited for a more readable piece) - stands as is I'm afraid - or am I afraid - was I afraid - Narrrrr _ I was just mad, but controlled it enough for this space.
Man made Fear - yes, I guess I am fearful as is the basis for human thinking - think not to think.

Thank You to Admin whomever you are - for allowing me to sort through this shit. Much appreciated. For this, I remain much more able to respond to however you choose to admonish in whatever way you deem fit.

__________________________________________________ ___________________________

Today is the Day for both the Mental health community check in that I emplaced on myself, then the doctors visit after that. SIGH!!!! Man oh man - it's so hard not to ponder on that one without exacerbating it further than I already have, but then again, had I not brought it up in the fashion I did - for sure - I don't think I would of got off the hook so easily a second time. I already have a few messages left about the place for some kind of advocacy and support regarding these interactions that so clearly send me over the edge.

I mean come on! See how easily some of us can talk and express in these threads, forums and online places - but how quick for all our advise and the screwing back on of lids, that when out and about - WOW - man oh man! Then comes the handcuffs quick - both metallic and chemical. If only some of us could just be listened too more, than Told or Dismissed - I know I can stabilize and or reintegrate on a level not so threatening or one sided based with words such as compliance. Sigh Sigh - Always has to feel like some kind of fight, and to which I should, instead be letting go - in order to step aside as the Zen masters do and use to defeat such odds, by taking such stride to let what must fly as they seem to effortless keep standing the way they do! Yep - That is the shit we need to take on board, with maybe a few herbs. LOL hahahhaaaaaaaaaaa. So True - So True.

__________________________________________________ __

hmmmmmmmm - Photoshop finally re-installed. Did yet another awesome sweat session yesterday on the treadmill - so still pushing there. Must ease up on that with two back to back sessions so far. Huge day driving into town twice with both stressful events. Must get everything in place for my wife before leaving and take her mobile. Will take something to read - be sure to be well watered and fed. Must take along note book for the info I can get on first visit to mental health services. Going to be nervous as hell hooking up with some group, but that I must!

Peace Out.
Dave.

Ponder

01-28-2014, 04:07 PM

__________________________________________________ ______________________________________
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_
Morning Guys

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3681/12195738173_86e56fbd73_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12195738173/)
waiting (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12195738173/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Thanks Frankie. I survived that day and now ready for another. I got up at 4.00am to see what rays I could catch. Unfortunately I only have experience with bush photography and am unaccustomed to the beach and coastal shooting not too mention sun rise and sets. As first light arrived before the sun appeared itself, it was evident that capturing the ball of light as I wished was not going to eventuate. Instead I sat for a bit in my new piece of kit watching both the ocean, as too the sun there as pictured above. Too me, I notice like an eels head with open mouth regarding the shape of cloud blocking sun. Within moments the clouds shifted to reveal what I thought be, my mornings opportunity for a sun rise shot as good I could given conditions and all.

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5472/12195902334_32d1fe70c7_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12195902334/)
Late Sunrise (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12195902334/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Now I note that same eels head transformed into a like a sperm whale with a marsh mellow sitting on its forehead above its mouth, or maybe a Buddhist Long Horn, if not for the lower jaw of the whale? Anyways - If I were to note something of worth regarding my shots, not meaning to detract from the romance some may bring; is that whilst I still obviously have to get back my zen with regards to in camera settings - I much prefer keeping them as natural as can be. Truth is, this is not how I saw the sun at that time. I only mention this as I am BIG on relaying what is really to be seen. In fact - whilst I am not the most versed on having a large vocabulary, I would much rather paint with words. I can install software onto my camera later as previously I did and I have already worked out how to bracket my exposures in stock mode as it is, however HDR - photography imo is so over done that now even when watching documentary I now often wonder what the real dynamic range would be like if indeed I was there to see for myself. All movies are now have their colors and contrast shot right up as if filming a whole day through what would otherwise be known as the Golden Hour.

Hard to explain - but this over indulging has kind of cheapened such moments, that when they come - it's like dissatisfaction unless now everything is shown in it's full glory 24/7. Very much ties in with all that perfection and pursing and betterment. Perhaps - quaint that I should be without putting anything up as spectacular as I dislike - I'm all for perfection but not overly so - perhaps perfection is to capture what one really sees, as opposed to creating what everyone and self wants . Yea - something like that. For instance - here the following I take of my new chair. It's an awesome chair by the way - less the a killo or thereabouts with a weight capacity of 145KG/320lbs. Anyways - Contrast, sharpness and perfect light is all devoid as is any of these "snaps shots" - thing with photography is expressing with variables such as position, eye line, height, distance, subject and all that kind of stuff. That kind of thing can be interesting and fun to master I guess. Keeps me grounded at any rate: I'll get the setting right further down the track - I like shooting manual for some insane reason. Keeps me on my toes I guess - will on occasion switch to AV and shutter from time to time.

MY NEW CHAIR - Best Friend second to the Sun.

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5498/12195489805_2a36f46edb_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12195489805/)
Chair (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12195489805/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

On a lighter Note - this chair will enable me to stay out much longer, not to mention the perspective I can get to just rest up and take it all in. When it comes to picking the lightest weight chair that has the biggest comfort factor plus capacity to hold an elephant - Such has been my quest for many a year. So far this chair is the best one IMO. Refereed to as the Helinox One

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nbBAkw7i_4

Previous to this I was using an Alite Monarch Butterfly Chair which is only like 600grams, however you have to keep pressure on your front two feet and its lower to the ground. The Helinox One really allows you to take the preasure of your legs and kick back a little to actually relax. It's not perfect, but for an ultralight weight lounge chair - that you can take anywhere - It's the Best! Not exactly cheap - but a very good investment that will keep one going much longer, than having no seat at all. I like this in the review. Like me, he's looked around and needs one that can handle some weight!

OK - moving on - as you can see, the tide is about in now with me having had to move my camera gear a little back - but there I sat some before heading back home. GET THIS - so focused was I on ariving early to see what would be out there or not - that when I finally packed up to leave, I then realized why some people were looking at me weird - No I was not paranoid - for in my haste leaving house when I did - I had put my DAMN wife's frilled neck top on!!!!!! I mean COME ON! Not again - I got over yesterday to now have the rising sun to reveal me for the flaming idiot I be. LOL - "quick man - get your shit together and get back to the car ASAP! - My GOD HOW EMBARRASSMENT!"

But one last snap before I go - As is I saw with a little more decent contrast now on offer with a touch of sharpening. I like rolling around in it when a touch choppy like this. Only about 15 meters or so out - not many people seem to bath in it like so, but that's something I intend to do a lot more often for simply health sake. Now I got that chair I can pretty much set up to do most things in comfort. I was able to carry 1.5 liters of water = that chair in the little hydro pack pictured above on back of chair.

Take Care Guys -

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5489/12196100546_0178dc7795_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12196100546/)
High Tide (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12196100546/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

PS - I can't wait till I find an awesome Hammock spot - do a camp and maybe share with you some other cool gadgets for getting about light.
Adios.

Ponder

01-29-2014, 03:01 AM

I got to say, "I really needed that!" After this mornings effort down by the beach, I have to say I feel a thousand percent better. It was not so much a case, of another step in the journey of getting somewhere, but more so about finding myself already being there. All too often I forget that when I post "I'm getting there". I really don't have any kind of routine as such - not yet anyways. I've been thinking I'm about ready to change my afternoon runs to mornings now - not sure how I will mix that with my morning retreats to the beach. For now, I will just have to beach it with the sun a little higher.

My plan is to survey the beaches edges for a reasonably isolated spot to hammock it for a night. Will go as light as I can for that escape. Seems there is very little that is not owned when it comes to the sand. I'll blend in like the insects! Be a while before I can go. At least until my wife's legs mends. will spend that time taking out some gear to see just how light I can go. Will try to pick a spot close by, so as to taxi some water before landing for the night.

That's about it for now - hopefully I will be well enough to start my runs in tomorrow morning. Although I had a session today, I did take it easy as my body told me so. Yawnssss ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Still breathing - that's always good! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz z
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Another Day Done!

Dahila

01-29-2014, 09:12 AM

Hi Dave, all pics are awesome, but I want the last one. Send me please that one. It is exactly the spot , i see when I am meditating:)) Incredible to see it exactly in tone and color .... beautiful... I think it would be much easier to control the anxiety in that place. You are getting there, :))

Ponder

01-29-2014, 01:35 PM

Morning Dahila.

This particular shot is more suited for the size currently displayed above in my previous post, however I did make an attempt to desktop it, keeping the tone and sharpness as close to the original during the resizing process. Lucky I kept the original Raw File.

Thing is, I did not have my best lens on for the Job. With regard to camera settings, My Iso should of been lower to give less grain. And most of all which is quite hard when using a low Iso, I should of used a Larger Aperture. Freezing motion under low light conditions is quite hard. It's not too bad though as the shot itself has a lot gong on in it. The wave that is in focus that starts at the left of desktop screen has a nice swirl atop of it as too mid screen where that same wave evens out. I like the Grey Feeling to this one as it was also my pic from many more I shot that morning. I always loved the feeling of an incoming storm to which this was more just the ominous presence than anything else. The sensory perception that can be felt in this photo is not everyone's cup of tea, however the fact that you can feel it, pleases me. Despite the flaws on a technical level, your interest in it, has heightened this snap all the more for me, and now resides on my desktop for the time being. :)

Try the following Link & instructions:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12210312833/sizes/o/

1. Scroll page so that you can see "Photo/All Sizes"

2.Under that - below "All rights reserved" (which should be removed - I want to share all that I have!) Click the "Download The original size of this photo" link.

If my account is still pro? You should be able to download from that - and it should be of the new Size -> 1920X1080 which I did up for you this very morning. Depending on the size of your desktop, you may have to go into your desktop settings to "center" + "Keep aspect ratio" ...however for most of today's screen (2014) - it should sit squarely across it.
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I'll work on getting some Tac Sharp images once I can deal with motion more adequately under such low light conditions. For now though - lets just enjoy the scene. ;)

Ponder

01-29-2014, 01:38 PM

Damn it - my pro account has expired. Doh.

Please do confirm whether you are able to download at Desktop Size (as per instructions above) - 1920X1080.

Alternatively you could right click on the photo itself at above link and select from the mouse menu -> "set as desktop background!" However I believe you will need an internet connection at all times for it to be displayed from that point. I'd Download if you can - is only about 400k.

TY.

Enduronman

01-29-2014, 02:02 PM

Dude.....we're all here for ya bruh!!!...

E-Man...:)

Ponder

01-29-2014, 02:40 PM

Dahila

01-29-2014, 03:58 PM

Ponder

01-29-2014, 04:06 PM

LOL @ Quote Dahila - I will live - another thing some people Hate on is hosting pics at really large sizes. I am confused as to whether you have the picture on your desktop so let's try this:
I will past picture in here at DESKTOP SIZE - so you can right click and save as. How does that sound. Now I best get on my treadmill :)

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3807/12210312833_ee0df33d7e_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12210312833/)
Desktop For Dahila (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12210312833/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Ponder

01-29-2014, 04:09 PM

Although forum has kept it at post box size (good call - glad to see) it still right clicks and saves as at 1920X1080
Good to know!
Let me know if you have it or not??? I think you already got it hey? I am a bit slow like that.

Ponder

01-29-2014, 04:10 PM

Dahila, you have me getting back into my photos now ... TY we can still talk over flikr I guess ... I write to you soon enough anyways without all the tension of late. Have a good evening Dahila.

Dahila

01-29-2014, 10:22 PM

I got it thank you so much, It looks awesome, but I found at least ten of your pics excellent for my desktop. I went through them again, Dave do take more pictures, they are stunning, I can not tell you which one is my favorite.
Take care of yourself and take pictures ;)) many pictures:) and show them to us. I bet there is more people who will appreciate the beauty captured.....

BTW I do not like when there is a lot of photoshop and editing involved. My friends usually let me to see them before the photoshoping .....I do not have to add that I am huge fun of white and black pictures ? :))
Thank you Dave:)

Ponder

01-29-2014, 11:05 PM

Glad to hear we have sorted that out. Editing Photos is quite an Art. I always do my best not to overdo with colors, sharpening, and contrast - it does not take much to alter the original image as seen at the time. Most of my Editing is about cleaning the image up - correcting basic exposure, with sometimes a little tweaking with focus to reveal the main subject. Doing so enables many of my "better shots" to compete with much more expensive camera gear. All in all - nothing beats getting the setting right in camera first! Anyways - once I know my Son has caught his Bus, I will head out, in search of a hammock spot. I'm just taking one lens with me this time around - 135mm old film lens - got the chair as well.

Happy Baking Dahila. ;)

Ponder

01-30-2014, 01:00 AM

Not much in the way of a good hammock spot yet, however I did come across this:

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5502/12217543853_d99f917154_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12217543853/)
Washed Up (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12217543853/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

I'll be sure to keep my camping spots a little cleaner. :)

Enduronman

01-30-2014, 06:40 AM

Yea thanks Chris -

Very Kind of you. How you been feeling man? I mean apart from supporting others dude. What you got going on. Crunching many obstacles and or just gliding by? I'm still chipping away at that first comeback wall with regards to my exercise. In fact, it's time to go and hit the mill about now for myself.

Nice to see you pop in!

Nature-Man...:) LOL

(phew)...

My head is spinning brotha Dave..I used to know where the beginning and end was, and could report as such. Now, it's like one giant blob of bullshit. Dealing with all these test. They "say" that I have spinal disease from top to bottom so they won't operate. I have backaches alot, from the heavvvvyyyy weights and 30 yrs of construction. I have lots of good reports to file with our Government now so they'll release my money. It's in the 10's of thousands already.

Then dealing with these damn teen daughters,..well, one is 22 anyway. Their "drug" habits. One of them is a prisoner in my home now. House arrests is what they call it here. Although, its "informal" I still have to watch her because if she gets caught out of this house, then they blame me too.

Also, our family Doc just told me yesterday that she had pot in her system in November..hadn't said a word until then...

(sigh)....

I'm just trying to keep my head on straight bruh!!!...

Love all these cool pics so keep posting Nature-Man!!!..

E-Man...:)

Ponder

01-30-2014, 01:44 PM

Understand about the house arrest, they have that here too. About your kids - I'm yet to find a decent prison movie/doc that will drive the kids away from acting like such sheep with regards to touching that shit. My eldest Son, well I have let him go completely. He seems to enjoy acting the role and has done much damage to this family. I think some of my own stories have helped my other kids, with one of them almost going over the edge but now refrains from such a habit, yet her own mental instability / inability with much or what I suffer myself relating to anxiety can make her vulnerable at times.

Trouble is, all that BS they show on TV seems to glorify prison life, despite the bars, guards and all the talk. Kids from well off and adjusted families are not so much at the same predisposition as those kids from poorer families who's histories have suffered much for whatever reason. Much of all the mental illness carries over - it's proven now that such deep seeded feelings can register on the scale of DNA! - That's hardcore man! Don't ya think. Don't get me wrong, not trying to suggest that Silver Spooned Kids don't full off by the way side or that only family's doing it tough fall into this category. I've been trying to get a spin on this kind of thing, in order to teach my kids about the pitfalls ahead and also not to identify with how status is combined with symbolic thinking. My kids are no angles, but the beauty of that, is that none of us believe in such things and since letting go of that crap and all the other keys and chains that imprison the mind - the self judgement is none existent - It's learning to live with the rest of these prosperous self indulging boastful types that live behind their bling bling that makes life tough.

Bla - whatever man - I wish you the very best with the kids dude. Just be there and keep the doors open - that's a tough job keeping an eye out 24/7! Best wishes on that.

About the Spinal Disease. Wiki says it's also called "dorsopathy" I have also been reading about Scoliosis & Stenosis. I guess you know much more about this stuff hey? Not finding much on "What to do - to help it" - The degenerative factor in my wife's disease can be slowed as too with various other degenerative conditions with various things such as controlled exertion, diet, SUN, massage, stimulus and whatever activates the ability to release anything in the form of healing and or protective cells. Pain management must be something your into? This is where my wife struggled with the drugs the doctors prescribed - She does much better on Herbal treatments, with active participation in moving whatever part of the body to combat ongoing complex issues resultant from such conditions. Sedentary and depression being major ones. Depression being a massive one.

Are you wheel chair bound, using any aids? Hey man - just say a cool story about how this dude had his wheel chair stolen - It was a special wheel chair for various sandy conditions. Although it was fucked how someone could steal a wheel chair from such a sufferer, the Irony was, that this dude although he could not walk, loved to swim! He was just wheeling on down to get as close as he could to the Ocean and crawl the rest of the way to do his thing - SWIM :) - I thought that was awesome and whilst my wife was like "Grrrrrrrrrrr how could someone steal from such a sufferer ....." or whatever or however it is that our mind sets have us think - I was like AWESOME! -> check this guy out crawling into the ocean without any legs ... COOL!

Just saying man ... That's still fucked up with contracting the condition and all. How long you been suffering with it now? I understand if you don't want to rehash your story - that's kewl - I don't mind talking about whatever - that is when I can keep my cool.

Might go make my morning coffee now - had some other stuff on my brain - Just wanted to be polite as best I could - respectful kind of think. I know I have said some offense stuff about the country in which you live. (mine too, for that matter) All my problem and I mean no personal offense to those of you that live there - just saying I figured I might of done my dash with all those in the West - LOL heheheheh - I know people will say NONE TAKEN - but none the less, so strong are the bonds in our heads, that when we hear others talk negatively about what we believe - I don't doubt that my words at the very least alienate me. bla bla bla bla bla

Srry dude - I wish you well e-Man ---- I truly do. whenever you feel really pissed and want to scream man; your welcome to blow my head off anytime. :) I figure that is the least I can offer.

OK coffee time. Thanks for sharing that Chris - I have not read your story. srry about that. Seems selfish - but I don't mean to be. I'll get to it soon enough.
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Enduronman

01-30-2014, 03:25 PM

RAW EMOTION.

This may really help me. Even if it's soooooooo long that no one reads it, I got it out of my head again because this fucked up story keeps playing and replaying in my mind like a broken damn record. Hell, I don't even wanna look at another certified letter from anyone. The creditors keep sending me shit that I wanna wipe my ass with and say "There is your counter-offer assholes"...

1. Life was going quite fine and dandy, tons of work, (had 2 small contruction companies) I could lift tons of weight, healthy by all standards, and it was beautiful outside too and I was preparing my work trucks for the summer busy season cleaning, organizing, detailing them with a toothbrush. Until May 28th, 2012. I woke up and couldn't move my hands. They were stuck in a clawlike position. Painful, swollen.
2. Went to see the Doc on June 1st. He said rheumatoid arthritis. "Workingmans disease". Gave me some meds, sent me on my way.
3. Meds didn't do anything except piss me off (narcotics).
4. The disease progressed from there and began to crush (dissolve) all of my other joints from my wrists, elbows, neck, spine, knees, ankles, and it felt like someone was holding a hot iron to the tops of both hands and feet for about 9 months. It caused problems swallowing, squeezed my throat, and felt like I had 2 tons sitting on top of my body that I couldn't see to push off.
5. It was properly diagnosed the following February 19th, 2013. Relapsing polychondritis. My sister has it too. She's 56. I'm 46.
6. I tried to just "work it out" doing (2) different projects for income during this entire time. Both time, I ended up having seizures and they don't know exactly why other than the damage to my back/spine compresses nerves to my brain during physical activity like I used to do for the previous 30 years. Severe spondylosis and retrolisthesis. I can't walk right. (gait). I walk just like my 76 year old Dad.
7. Basically, my body just threw in the towel..done. They won't operate because of the diseases. Essentially, I'm so drugged up I don't know which was is up or down sometimes!!. LOL!
8. Everything that I earned, learned, gained, bought, used, see, worked for, wanted, thought I needed, will be lost this year and I'll be stuck with a lifetime monthly stipend from our Government.

ANDDDDDD the real cause of all this????????

Living a lifetime in constant chronic stress and worry about something caused my adrenal system to fail, and ordered my own body, to attack my own body.

I don't worry about anything now, nothing, no one, because I can't and it does absolutely no good at all....

All these posts about the heart, pounding, panic, anxiety, mental disorders of all sorts and types, taxes the internal systems to a point of no return..if left unchecked and ignored. It is capable of causing catastrophic failure and internal diseases that will always haunt me, us, others here...if they do not get it under their own control.

That's why I'm here bruh.

To try to help others (that will actually listen, act, progress, move forward) prevent TOTAL RECALL.

Because I have already lived it, no sense in anyone else having to live through this too as I "ignored" the warning signs and it took 3 years of them before complete failure.

I see them all now...after the fact. Abit late to do anything about, the past..

I appreciate you asking for my story Dave, and that story leaves out all the other "issues" and just focuses on me, which was hard to do I must say..

It took years to manifest itself, it will now take years to reverse its effects on me.

I think I'm gonna get me some coffee now too brother..and I also wish you the very best in health and in life too and I thank you for your wishes as well..

Chris. (Why I am an anxiety hunter, to possibly prevent, protect, guard others from these terrible conditions)....:)

Ponder

01-30-2014, 06:40 PM

I remain humbled after reading all of that. I guess that is why people thank others for having shared their own pain. Re-hashing need not be all that bad, if one is able to speak out as opposed to choke. I've almost come a full circle since I started yelling and screaming with the beginning of this thread. Had I not started it, I dare to think where I might of ended up.

Just looked into a web page when someone claims to of beaten the disease. I won't link it, because I am sure you have been all over the internet with such things. Some claims can be a pain in the but with it working so well for one, but not for another. I guess that is the thing with dietary claims. I can see now why your up on all the nutrition - apart from your body building experiences.

Sounds like you have an extreme case of the condition. Your right about the only thing worth focusing on, is what life we have left and not so much about the shit that we tend to feed off. Unfortunately living in a world that constantly advertises to it's citizens, that unless you have this or that, you will always be in want. That's the crap I speak out against - how much I can sustain that kind of stance is more determined how it is I talk.

Being Zen and all meditative, need not mean that whilst accepting something for what it is, that we need not react. Clearly you have good direction that works for you and to for others as you no doubt have helped many in here. I've read enough to know that.

Yea - Life sure can be tough. Not surprising people want to chase living in luxury. Until people can learn to live with the pain they are in, I don't think such comfort really brings peace. I've gained much be learning from others who both suffer and accept their pain as if it where some kind of lesson meant to be. Sounds all screwed up I know - but in order to make the most of it, you either draw from it or let it blurry you in the ground?

It's amazing just how much more substance there are to those people who are able to be at peace with such pain, Vs those who have never really suffered, yet claim to be enlightened all the same. No doubt such blessed or whatever you want to call such fortunate individuals can indeed both attain inner peace without having suffered at all - mores the lesson for some of us in learning to accept being happy when such a feeling comes a long -

hmmmmmmmmmm - you've given me much to think about.
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You play any PC games at all?

Dahila

01-30-2014, 08:02 PM

I do not think suffering makes us better.....
Dave you are so calm:))) Happy to see that..
Eman You go through a lot of pain, I can only say that I do understand some of that. You know about my problems with my back. I can not take anything what helps most people because NSaid drugs make my bp go through the roof.....Gabapentin seems to help a bit....

Even that somehow I think Chris you do not mind the physical pain, the other one is what killing you.... eh life

mistiblue

01-30-2014, 10:08 PM

Ok Eman... All I can say is WOW! After reading your post I feel bad for complaining. You have a story and I admire your strength.
I want SO BAD to stop worrying and stressing, I even know what I need to do to stop... I just can't. The physical symptoms in my body won't allow me to stop, I can't get past them. The thing is, I know if I relax most of the symptoms would at least decrease, but I can't.
I think God is really using you to help others. I don't know your relationship with Him, but I can say you've helped me.
Thank you for sharing your story.

Ponder

01-30-2014, 10:09 PM

It's not so much that I mean to paint it like that Dahila. Of course we should not "generally" go out in seek of suffering, although many of us, in fact do. That is to say that when devoid of it, we tend to cry out for it ... as is why commiseration is regarded as comfortable by those who have suffered similarly. Misery that can find comfort through others tends to stagnate, if nothing positive can be learned from it. So for those people who live with adversity on a daily basis, in whatever form that may be, surely learning to embrace it is far better than spending the rest of ones days, trying to escape it?

Those who have never suffered a life of hardship, are surely blinded to the bonds often achieved through those families and or groups whom persistently fight on a daily basis to overcome adversity in all its forms; (although sufferers they still may be) to which currently rampages the planet. "Lest we forget" is the common cry by those now, who find themselves in a far better place. Yet it's just one day of remembrance obscured by lots of logos, badges, flags and dress. The other 364 are spent consuming what little is left and repeating the same mistakes. In that respect - Yea, most of the civilized world has not learned a thing from the suffering of others, but instead chooses to justify such an outcome and or accepted fact. Would be a different case if these fortunate ones, found themselves on the other side of the coin. Fact is, nothing really gets done until people actually go out to see and experience the suffering first hand. Unfortunately it's all turned into some kind of charity case with a fleeting mention and quick offering that's quickly forgotten. (Not so for those on the ground - but more so a case of how our fine politics work) Goes on from there to feed itself and fester from there. Politicians tend to commiserate in much the same way, two addicts do waiting for their next hit. Quick to run, make excuses and forget all else once the joy returns.

Sorry off topic -> Tis that World's Residual Pain that Eckhart Tolle goes on about so much. All that Symbolic crap that we need to raise, defend and identify with. Mans evolved civilized and politically minded brain has done much to increase the suffering in the world. Suffering abounds wherever we go. So in that respect I will always advocate there is much the world can learn from suffering it has created. Problem is, we have been taught to fear, fear itself. No wonder such an emotion is implemented so favorable by those who despise, turn and run themselves. Do or Die mentality. Whilst walls were broken around the world not so long ago, another has gone up with rigid ideals that will ensure they'll stay on top. - but crumble they will and if anything is to be learned, it will be from the pain they will surely feel.

Above quite meaningless as my head still screwed up with the thought of living in this world ("tense" used as if I'm in another LOL) - ( I leave it though ) I use the following for a better description and hit out some more on why I think there is much to be learned from suffering.
__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ____________________

The Weak Plant due to lack of suffering:

A plant that never suffers the seasons grows weak and dies quickly. Of course the extent to which one suffers the extremes can be due to location and climatic events. Interesting perspective actually. I ponder on how Nature does so well with this, yet when man seeks to control the natural order of things; how often negative effects result. Nature is a good study at how stress works. Suffering is a form of stress and without it, makes me wonder how anything can evolve.

I have to go - sorry if it's been a bore. Just when I got to thinking on nature and how we can learn from it. Got some stuff to do ......... back later.

Thanks for the food. ;) -> Trying to keep it positive.

Ponder

01-30-2014, 11:51 PM

Puts the G filter on. Thanks for the the tip on that one Dahlia.

It's no secret and also in my profile that Religion has burned me, not to mention the many in this forum who have already identified with such. That's my relationship with such a figure in which works for others.

Actually, that's another interesting fact about suffering. Religion places much emphasis on learning from suffering. May I ask, if that fact plays into part of why your not buying into the concept Dahila. Forgive me if I speak out of line. It's been a few times now that you have expressed like so with regards to suffering having no lesson to be learned, whenever I have said or suggested otherwise. I'd like to understand a little more as to why you think that be. If only to learn form each other.

It's a complicated mess when attributing suffering to lessons learned in life from a religious point of view. Far too much manipulation which see such beliefs used, more as a pacifier to keep the masses at bay. So effective is such deception, it was adopted for lack of being unable to disperse the mob. Reasons why Constantine Assimilated Christianity to begin with. For such a radical concept, birthed from an activists point of view with all the following and unadulterated momentum in its time; one can understand how appealing such pity would be. I have really enjoyed perceiving a whole new light, since being released of all the dogma and can really see the context in which various history presentations have unveiled the deception on the more mystical claims of suffering and it's alluring attraction during that time. The followers mostly being the despised such as Tax payers, Slaves, Prostitutes, Unemployed, Sick, Elderly, Exiled, and so on ... (so much for thinking back in time would be a better place)

Despite the world's pop being so much more less back then, the ratio of Have and Have Nots -> I assume would of seen inequality far more unbalance than now. (Technologically thinking with reference to ease and accountability) Therefore in a world so young - just how easy would it be to start such a teaching. Of course all this pondering may mean squat - when one considers just how content many may have probably of been with their comfy piece of wood Vs Rock? Back then when writing was scarce it would not take much for a gifted talker to convince others, Why suffer with wood when you could sit on Wool? Now everyone is suffering? LOL

I don't know Dhila - for me, therein lay some of the issues with religion. Plenty of deception to say the least. Paul who was once a Christian killer & fell out with his Roman Kin, had every reason to join the ranks of Christianity from anything but seeing a Bright Light (except a light bulb that magically appeared in his head). AKA becomes an activist in his own right, just like Jesus who could of had reasons far removed from what's so thought - indeed, he had the education to know his part.

The context to my bringing all this up Dahila - is that Religion has proven itself far form genuine and quickly losing it's hold on this world (Imagine that - HOPE for ALL - Denominations completely wiped!) - is that I very much think this teaching -> of learning from ones suffering to being like some kind of test of how much we love this imaginary figure that looms over us all to fall to our knees and do his bidding - for sure! I think in that context, it's all a load of shit!
__________________________________________________ ___________________________________

However ................... removing the sickness from the essence itself - I think the eastern philosophies have a better understanding of suffering and I am getting that mixed up with having being raised on the other side of the coin as it happens. Come to think of it, who know; maybe the Silk Road led to much of this morality making it's way about during such times to which has been tapped and drawn from the Man himself. Hmmmmmmmmmmm Interesting stuff. Despite the evil that is very prevalent within the church - untainted, I'll still believe much good in the message of learning from suffering - just not the messengers. That's where the whole deception unfolds itself!

So again - with so many more people now speaking out against the church - having been burned and still are - I think very much a lot of people have been put off, an otherwise good message to be better understood from those cultures who seek to live likewise but without the dogma nor tradition (albeit present) - Eastern concepts are typically void of religious content and or dogma - whilst active in practice it's more about the living than anything else. When the gathering is over, they genrally do not switch off like those in the west. Westerners are the ones the make religion out of such concepts - I'm just about trying to make sense of suffering itself.

Hmmmmmmmmm - It's like with so much on offer from other cultures, but we put it off for fear of being labeled and or identified in that difference of appearance - that being the symbols to which we think of self.

bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla

it's been fun.

Back to a Life of Brian.
Look on the bright side hey ;) - played at a young girls funeral by her parents while everyone else was either perplexed or offended. Hmmmm ...

Ponder

01-31-2014, 12:05 AM

Perhaps we should move back to the Plant?

Ponder

01-31-2014, 02:38 AM

De-Pressed to Deep rest!

To coin a phrase from Jeff Foster whom I only just stumbled across on Youtube thanks the Gene Allan's Channel - Thanks Gene. Gene's Title The dark Night of My Soul or something like that, lead my into keys words such as Spiritual Depression. Christine Breeze founder of the UMS AKA University of Metaphysical Science. CHRIST it's great not to be so bounded by Religion! Greatest thing I even did was ditch such Dogma - anyways, "as I say" Moving on:

I was really impressed with this young fella Jeff Foster and what he had to say and the way he said it as well. Touches on a lot of new age concepts but without the mysticism that feels so threatening in as much as the word spiritualism freaks people out. Unfortunately just like Eckhart Tolle and many like him, there will be those that sell of the message to some degree that conflicts with my own short circuited method of discernment. I am slowly coming to a point in which I am sick of my own limited perceptions and hang ups with words like, Joyous, Abundance, Desire, Happiness - Rich Vs Poor - Poor Vs Rich, Employ-ability, Work, Credit, Ownership, and on and on ...

Here is the Link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPx0nN6aQj0

However it can take quite a journey before one may be able to hear what is being said; then again with such a young chap well versed in what he say's - regardless of how he has learned it - it's all the same to me, as the message is well said and resonates very well with me. Awareness, expansion and all the key variables to simply being. I'm just so Sick of gong on and on about my story who I know now, was and has never ever been ME!

I also love the name of his website
http://www.lifewithoutacentre.com/
Not sure of His context - but the ability to take GOD completely out of the picture means everything to me - as I AM MY OWN GOD - try and dig that! LOL - again so bounded are those that enslave themselves to such a fight. If you really want to rest, then give the whole damn complete "story" of us and everyone up! Again, it's about gleaning what you feel is right and finding you is best done when at that point of just giving up!

Hope you find the link interesting. Try not to resist and just listen - it's what I did when listiening to Gene a second time around - I took his Tittle and thought some more of what he said - Given I Gell with pretty much most of what he and many others have said - for my and my letting Go - I simply just give the concept of GOD the flick and presto - it all comes together for me. I agree - not only am I done with my own false self, but also the whole story of us!

"We can view depression not as a mental illness, but on a deeper level, as a profound, and very misunderstood, state of deep rest, entered into when we are completely exhausted by the weight of our own false story of ourselves... -Jeff Foster"

mistiblue

01-31-2014, 05:07 AM

Dahila

01-31-2014, 09:16 AM

Ok.. Well.. Ponder, your obviously bitter. You have quite a deep argument going on about RELIGION don't ya? See, I don't agree with RELIGION either, but I do have a RELATIONSHIP with God. It's a choice, whether or not you believe. Believing is called faith. I'm not going to argue or debate with you because I don't feel that's profitable. The Bible (which I believe is true) says that the word of God is foolishness to those who don't believe. Is it offensive, the things you say, SURE, but ya know what? That's your choice. I can only hope that one day you will realize the difference between religion and relationship. To me and many others, Jesus is who keeps us strong and grounded. I know how I was changed when I came to know Him and I KNOW without Him I wouldn't make it through this struggle. So, you keep on with your philosophical jargon, but to those of us who have a RELATIONSHIP with God, you sound just as foolish. To each his own.... But in the end, God wants no one to perish.

I do not think he has the argument, we have the argument Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeee G filter on
Religion is politics and like every other BS is to manipulate people. Everyone with a bit of oil in brain sees it.
I am survivor of NDE and I am still not believer, I had my moments and spend like 3 years reading, studying Christianity, then I want to Judaism and Islam and finally , i am still believe it, Buddhism. but not as religion but rather way of living.

The bible is a bunch of gospels rewritten thousand times by monks. Who knows what original said. Nobody talks about the beginning of Christianity, small sect in bigger religion. Immaculate conception? thats a fairy tale, good for small children. There can be conception without presence of semen but it will result only in female, not male.

suffering does not make sense, I am far away of discussing such bs as bible or any other holy books. There is not difference between bible and Criminal Code.

G filter on

The epidemic depression and anxiety is caused by the world around us. Politics, religion, sects, adds, selling, pure pressure on everyone.
I am very much with Dave on this topic. I can not express myself so well in English, but he does, and I am signing under his posts.

Jesus is a type of person we would like to be, he is our imagination, He is a ideal of man:))) Poor Jesus so much responsibility....

mistiblue

01-31-2014, 10:06 AM

I do not think he has the argument, we have the argument Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeee G filter on
Religion is politics and like every other BS is to manipulate people. Everyone with a bit of oil in brain sees it.
I am survivor of NDE and I am still not believer, I had my moments and spend like 3 years reading, studying Christianity, then I want to Judaism and Islam and finally , i am still believe it, Buddhism. but not as religion but rather way of living.

The bible is a bunch of gospels rewritten thousand times by monks. Who knows what original said. Nobody talks about the beginning of Christianity, small sect in bigger religion. Immaculate conception? thats a fairy tale, good for small children. There can be conception without presence of semen but it will result only in female, not male.

suffering does not make sense, I am far away of discussing such bs as bible or any other holy books. There is not difference between bible and Criminal Code.

G filter on

The epidemic depression and anxiety is caused by the world around us. Politics, religion, sects, adds, selling, pure pressure on everyone.
I am very much with Dave on this topic. I can not express myself so well in English, but he does, and I am signing under his posts.

Jesus is a type of person we would like to be, he is our imagination, He is a ideal of man:))) Poor Jesus so much responsibility....

Oh Dahila,

Like I said I will not debate over this. I realize that I am out numbered on this forum as far as being a Christian, and I am okay with that. You choose to believe that way....that's your choice. I do know that if you had a true relationship with Jesus Christ, you would understand. There is more to being a Christian than just studying...anybody can STUDY the Bible, but if they don't have a relationship with God, it will be foolishness to them.

BTW, it wasn't monks who wrote the Bible....I did chuckle with that comment.....

Anyway.....

jessed03

01-31-2014, 10:49 AM

Whilst on the subject of religion, a little Adam and Eve joke for you all :)

http://i.imgur.com/NRcpW6R.jpg

mistiblue

01-31-2014, 11:06 AM

Lol...that's funny 😜

Dahila

01-31-2014, 12:03 PM

Oh Dahila,

Like I said I will not debate over this. I realize that I am out numbered on this forum as far as being a Christian, and I am okay with that. You choose to believe that way....that's your choice. I do know that if you had a true relationship with Jesus Christ, you would understand. There is more to being a Christian than just studying...anybody can STUDY the Bible, but if they don't have a relationship with God, it will be foolishness to them.

BTW, it wasn't monks who wrote the Bible....I did chuckle with that comment.....

Anyway.....
I respect you and your relationship with Jesus but I do not want to hear about it, this is why my G and now J filter is on. I do respect everyone, young or old, every religion, and every believe, I am simply ask not to push it on me, please.

Dahila

01-31-2014, 12:04 PM

I thought this was interesting.

Very much so, and what a waste only we understand that, the rest of privileged chose to ignore it:(

mistiblue

01-31-2014, 12:11 PM

Dahila- in no way did I try to push it on you. Me talking about it is not pushin it on anyone. I am free (for now) to talk about Jesus, just like your free to talk about your "way of living".
:)

mistiblue

01-31-2014, 12:13 PM

Frankie- can't see it. Keeps saying error, it must be my phone :p

jessed03

01-31-2014, 12:29 PM

Frankie- can't see it. Keeps saying error, it must be my phone :p

http://anxietyforum.net/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=980&d=1391194381

Ponder

01-31-2014, 12:39 PM

Sigh - reads and sips - meditates to regains his thoughts. I never said monks wrote the Bible? Was not meant to come across like that, lest you refer to my reference of the silk road- I am from the Hebrew Line myself - whatever that means. Give me a sec for the morning mist to do its thing. Sip sip.

Dahila

01-31-2014, 12:53 PM

Ponder I said that it was rewritten countless time, everyone added something to the glory ;)) I wrote it as an answer to Mistiblue who said something about reading and following the bible. ;))) no I am adding G, J, B to the filters, not talking about the words:)) Have an easy day;)

Ponder

01-31-2014, 12:53 PM

OK - to keep focused I will keep you in mind Dahila. ( I hope that is OK with you ) -> Sure I am bitter. I think the very title of this thread points to that. However what has happened has happened and I for one, feel I have made the most of that. This is not Yahoo Christian Chat, so it is with great risk that one may offend bestowing religious sentiments on another. The very topic of whatever your faith is not in question here, but bitterness itself is. It is known that I have said, that I wish to yet do a in depth post on the Church and the damage it has done to me.

Now that is known as well as others in here, who have also shown discomfort and may find themselves reactive to the willy nilly bestowing of such hurtful word G, we would all do better to concentrate on that fact. I'm only just getting to the stage of dropping my whole damn story, so if you please - lets get past that, or at the very least - let me waffle on in my own expanse and enjoy the breeze. Where was I?

Ponder

01-31-2014, 12:55 PM

HEY - I love it when I see my other friends on at the same time. OK OK - all good - Edit ... (thank you for clarification - still waking up)Sending you warm thoughts this very moment. :) ... going to make another cuppa, but my morning post will most likely see us part ways for now. So good to see you on. Glad you have been so patient with me. :) ... as too many others here.

Ponder

01-31-2014, 01:24 PM

Sorry for multiple posts not on much, however each deserves the attention to which I am giving on catching up. I was pleased to read some of your experience there Dahila and do hope that one day you will be better placed to talk more, or even just let those and the kind of happenings you mention take place in ones head as they need best be seen. (as I too am hoping for myself) I read it and understand the frustration well. I don't want to open up wounds for others that find the air a little too much. That time will come soon enough. You have a special awareness Dahila that I have enjoyed reading about, when privileged to your sharing on such personal experiences.

Thank You so much for sharing what you just did.

mistiblue

01-31-2014, 05:08 PM

Ponder- no, I was referring to Dahila's post...sorry. What time is it where you are?

Ponder

02-01-2014, 05:23 AM

The time here is Bed Time.

But before that - I will share on my new discovery of TMG Pain. Now I am sure this one is well known among our Health Anxiety friends, however for me - it's a welcome discovery as I'm thinking of canceling a doctors appointment I just made today. For some some weeks, or possibly soon after I stopped my meds, (not the cause - just masking it is all) I have notice a lot of Jaw clicking and associated pain; particularly ear pain on the weaker side of my jaw. My mother has just confirmed for me, that she suffers from TMG as a result of grinding teeth and continual Jaw clenching. Mum has suffered with extreme anxiety for most of her life and as is with me - I'm a heavy grinder myself.

Tonight I did some exercises I found on Youtube, and then went onto doing some "self massages" WOW - I got to say the self massages not just for TMG, but also for relaxation were awesome! After doing some pressure points on my jaw, I did a back neck, side neck and shoulder session that really felt so soothing, then a light face one that now has me ready for bed. There's no way I can afford a dentist for the TMG issue and I think a doctor is not going to be much chop on that either. I've been reading up on how some people suffer badly after going to the dentist with such things. I have to admit after my mum lashed out with Nana's legacy for me to get some dental work - that my jaw was extremely locked up during and after that visit - some -people also report Tinnitus Issues relating to jaw issues as well. Interesting stuff! I suffer from that as well. The things you learn online hey.

TMG is nothing New by the sounds of it and seems like online is a good place to help self diagnose and treat such a condition. My ear pain is feeling a lot better now having attempted to treat myself. It's usually during the evenings when I go to bed, that I seem to struggle with the pressure in my ear, but again - feeling much better with all the session I just did.

Most notably I still have a tender spot on the opposite side to where I grind my teeth. I'll typically grind on my right side which results in tenderness on the left, with an almost involuntary action to open my mouth to purposely click the left side of my jaw. During that action is where I'll experience a pop. I don't like to click my jaw so involuntary like as it actually seems to hurt more than it's worth, however when it's bad or I'm allowing myself to do that like so - I think it's because my body is attempting to reset what feels like an out of place joint.

So to clarify - I grind on the left 3 to 4 times then open to click my jaw on the right! that's been like habitual for some time now and seems to make things worse to a point I rang up today for a doctors appointment, due to pain now in my right ear.

TMG my mum said - Did a TMG DX on the NET, then tried some of the exercises with care, due to the joint being so small and all that - feels a little better so I figure that's what its all about. The massage from some young lady named heather on Youtbe are great. So impressed with that, I'm definitely going to be doing more self massages for sure!
____________________________________________

I'm not 100 percent sure, but it looks like a fair bet to me. It's the involuntary movements that require some people to use a mouth guard to help assist, but again - I don't have the money for that kind of thing. Seems people are trying to profit of this condition just like Tinnitus and everything else. Going to have to share the secrets once I become a guru in that. Hahaha - Life - full of all kinds of hurdles. :)

Now the pain slowly creeping back into my ear. Feels like a slight ear infection - however that is very much one of the symptoms - Ear Pain - as too headaches. Perhaps my first sessions I over did.

One thing I don't want this to interrupt, is the consistency with which I have been hitting the treadmill! So typical when I get to a point where I can physically start to sweat and make gains with weight loss - the immune systems starts to waver and or things like this come to light. I have come to accept my Tinnitus and learning to live with that, however this damn Jaw thing and now ear Pain - SIGH ...

The doctor Bulk Bills so no trouble there - I was so anxious about my request for a mental health plan that I clear forgot to bring it up. I just get the feeling with some docs, it's like if you see them within such a short period, they start to think your nuts. That's why TMG is sounding like a fair bet to me, and from what I can tell - not much the doc can do - unless I can't eat! :)

I thought it might have something to do with my sinus due to all the washing out I previously did - and being no pro with that - that can also be a little dangerous. I really went through a bit of pain after doing some of that - I was not one of these types that could gently tile the head to have a clear stream of water come out my other nostril. I had to really sniff in some of those sprays - then use a home made pump with saline solution to mimick a swim in the ocean - apparently if you mess that up you can get some kind of brain infection ... rare as that may be ...

Early days with the TMG exercising and implementation with thought on that.

Again ... it's time for Bed.

Night all. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzz
Excuse no editing tonight ............... except the ones I am doing now. ..... rolls eyes ...

Dahila

02-01-2014, 08:35 AM

Mouth guard is available at the pharmacy, it is not as good as the one made in the lab (I made them for years) but it will work. Tinnitus; that's different story, nothing will help for that, it is natural way of hearing device to get old:) Hearing aids masking it, but as soon as you take it out, it is back. Just get use to it:))

jessed03

02-01-2014, 09:41 PM

Not really sure where to post this, but... Mistiblue, I just read through your biography on here. I was really surprised. That's quite a turnaround you've made. You seem such a nice person. When I see the pic of you and your family, it's hard to imagine a different version of you. I'm really glad you found something (gotta avoid setting off ponders G filter here LOL) that got you onto a good path. The nice Mistiblue seems far nicer to me than the idea of the nasty, drug taking one one lol :)

jessed03

02-01-2014, 09:56 PM

Ponder, how you doing!

The TM(J?) is a royal pain. I've had it since 15 when I fell over on an ice rink. Clicks every single time I open and close my mouth.

Do you think you could post the link to the exercises please?

I tried the gumshield to help ease the joint, but it kept falling out in the night. I was told there's a surgery where they clean out the joint and make a bit of extra room for it, I was told it was gonna cost a few grand. I haven't had the time (to rob a bank) to go through with it yet, haha :)

I'll keep an eye on how they work for you.

I have tinnitus too, so I'm wondering the two are also related. Hmmm. Interesting!!

---------------
---------------

You seem in slightly better spirits anyway. I could be wrong, but it always seems as though someone's calmer when they're focusing on some annoying tinnitus, instead of fuming at the injustices and sicknesses of the world lol. Not that they go away, but tackle them from a healthier place right!!!

Beach meditation is now on my To Do list! That beach pic seems to serene.

Meditating on the breath seems so boring compared to meditating to the sound of the ocean waves :)

We're all one afterall!! The ocean is just another of our worldly breaths we can connect with.

Better write that last line down actually incase I run into a cute hippy chick!!!!!!

BE WELL

Ponder

02-01-2014, 11:37 PM

Hi Jesse all is good TY. Here is a good enough place to speak of anything with whomever. I think we all understand each-others position - waves are not such a bad thing.

I'm not sure just how much Tinnitus is related to TMJ however I can understand some of the relationship with sore joints aggravating the ear. Tinnitus is a whole other ball game in its own right. That's something I have learned to deal with, although sometimes I waver with it when my system runs down. The TMJ - is most defiantly related to anxiety sufferers with clenching jaws and grinding teeth. I's still learning ore about the condition and deciphering through all the hype, as I did with Tinnitus.

I'll need a little time to do up some links - but for sure I will! I have found already with some practice - how my jaw seems to of re-set itself - or perhaps has re-set itself, although still very sore and sensitive when ever I reflex to grind which then feels as if I have lock Jaw. I'm sure it's just pulling against my jaws natural position which seems with the exercises I did - to of alleviated the pain by as I say - re-setting itself into it's proper position. I guess it's been out of place and in that being so - the strain on my ear is what was causing that pain. I'm just speculating of course - I really have no idea. It hurts more at night - had to take some Valerian. Too early to really make a full assessment - but Yea - will work on those links a bit later.
__________________________________________________ _______________________________________

As for turning a full circle - most definitely a result from heading out with my camera the other day and taking a seat! Today I will post this mornings adventure and touch on just what was gong through my head.

__________________________________________________ ____________________________

I grabbed my camera and packed my bag with the intent not to care what others might think. I threw in my hammock, sleeping bag - water and chair. I decided on a 50mm lens and left all the filters and other things so as to just take a million pictures and keep things light! Out the door I set of with Hat and Tripod Shouldered like a rifle and up the street I began my walk! I said "morning" here and there, crossed the wooden bridge that lead me to the sand. From there I took a photo from beaches edge facing back into the trees, where I decided to go in and walk. I love the ocean, but wanted to check out what kind of Macro shots (close up photography of insects, plants and leaves) as well as continue on looking out for a place, to hang my hammock for a stealth night out I'm yet to do. Here is a picture of that entry point:

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3709/12263267414_d8fc235b3d_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12263267414/)
Trees skirting the beach (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12263267414/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

More to follow in a minute ...

mistiblue

02-01-2014, 11:57 PM

Jesse- thank you for the kind words :) I like this Misti better than the old one too!! Much better ;)

Ponder- I have TMJ too and it's a pain, literally.. LOL! I don't wear a night guard because they are expensive. I do know that when my stress levels are high the TMJ gets bad.

Ponder

02-02-2014, 01:06 AM

Thanks for sharing that with me misti - (will put up some links when I finish playing with today's photos) -> I got carried away with my camera and completely disregarded it not being water proof. I did however have fun jumping up and down with the waves whilst keeping my camera out of the water. I must of look quite a sight as I ended up swimming clothes and all when I was done jumping about. :)

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7308/12264536223_7e44b35703_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12264536223/)
Forum Display High Tide 2 (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12264536223/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Ponder

02-02-2014, 01:12 AM

I know these waves are not big, but I feel like a kid playing in it all the same! ......... A few more for the fun of it -

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5472/12262831775_7ba29e5a7b_c.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12262831775/)
Splash (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12262831775/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3769/12262991143_7dc94a5a03_c.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12262991143/)
Small tidal waves (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12262991143/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Ponder

02-02-2014, 01:27 AM

Today's Swimming spot!

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3665/12262988093_8302931a25_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12262988093/)
Todays swimming spot (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12262988093/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Dahila

02-02-2014, 09:16 AM

Beautiful:)........

Dahila

02-02-2014, 03:42 PM

I am going to sit down on swimming spot. I love the mood there:)) and the sight

Ponder

02-03-2014, 04:44 AM

Thank you for your kind words Frankie and Dahila. Not doing so great today, however that's OK. Got really offended in another section and deleted my reactionary post and just went with a picture as is my thing. I think I am doing too much with the exercise and trying to keep up with my wife and house. I have hurt my foot - will see how that goes - if I push it will either leave me limping which I will then no to stop the running/trotting. A good point I heard today, was not relying on things that will not last, and I think this means something to me with the running I always use to resolve my obesity.

SIGHHHHHH ... It was a good attempt I guess. I really have to build on other strategies - I'll switch to weights for a bit, and concentrate an pacing my energy. Truth is, I would rather walk and be out longer - than having to rest up injury's and sleep because of over taxing my system with too much focus on "losing weight"

I post these other pics I have as they are - not much to say really. I went for a walk along the beach - took one of a broken branch - thought about how it was cut off and dieing - made me ponder on the process with respect to grace, position how it lay. I took my shirt of again, assemble my chair and tripod - lounged in my chair facing the ocean with late afternoon sun on my back and began to read some sci-fi on my kindle paper white. After pack up I saw a column of whipping sand that reminded me of a sci-fi moving called Soldier with Kurt Russel - where he saved a man caught out in some sudden sand storm. It was a windy day, however pulling out the lounge chair and taking off my shirt without giving a care felt really good. I've been doing that a few times now and I'm sure it's quite to the disgust of others but seriously - (omits LOL - even that sound so false to me) - it's just fucking great not to really care. I'm over it all really -

I can't wait till my wife's leg gets better. That's more important to me. I think I've learned enough not to push myself so hard - life's too short! I also watched some birds fying and dipping along the deeper ruts/inlets for fish. between that and having a good read - I kind of decided then, that I'm going to have to back off the running - Living so far from town is great with not eating too much shit - can't believe those drive by Troths they call food outlets. Disgusting really - Eating a lot of seafood - Actually more salad than that. Just not into the wheat, rice and pasta - Green veggies have been good as too eating a lot of fruit. Still suffering the HIVES coming off the meds. Bad Jaw pain tonight - Live and let live I guess. Doctor was no help at all, quite insulting actually as I pretty much diagnosed myself in front of him. Seems not only people in here hate Google as well - Doctors are really becoming so useless with such things now.

OK - Todays pics are as follows:

ME - I wish I could be as game a Gene and talk like he does. This about sums it all up for me though. We work out better as silhouettes as opposed to looking at our exteriors:
http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3824/12285718985_1af19f58a2_c.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12285718985/)
me (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12285718985/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

A branch in the wind - A Fading Branch To me ----- Grace and all that:
http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5480/12286274176_42b1e5518a_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12286274176/)
Fading Branch (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12286274176/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Then that sudden whispering sand I mentioned (notice the roots popping out of the sand as well)
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7307/12285719885_2b463abb42_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12285719885/)
Interesting (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12285719885/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

One last shot of the sand heading in the direction of the wind - past the person with their dog and on towards the head land.:
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7333/12285868753_234dfdc64f_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12285868753/)
Whisping sand in the wind (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12285868753/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Dahila

02-03-2014, 09:25 AM

You have a special ability to take people with you, wherever you go, using your pictures and posts.
Dave stop using the treadmill, i was trying to use it for over a year, at least every second day and every single time I hurt my knee, ankle, or calf. I switched to elliptical machine and the stationary bike and no more injuries.
Honestly I do not know how you managing. You are the one taking care of everyone, situation with your wife is really challenging. I believe the place you live now helps a lot, I mean the ocean and the beech....
Sometimes going slower, not obsessing about the exercise, brings better results.
I think you get set dead on the goal and, I understand I do the same.....maybe it is time to stop it. Just to be in the moment, and be happy, so much improved in your life. You have the hobbies you love, you do not have to be like others. You never were , and never will be. You are a beautiful person Dave, and nothing changes it.
I hope you get what I am talking about.. I have the limitation, but you understand , having a few....
Thank you for the pictures....such peaceful environment, the branch is so symbolic....

BTW I use splash as my screen picture when I close my eyes.....it calms me down :)

Ponder

02-03-2014, 03:36 PM

I want to log this one in here as it really means a lot to me:
__________________________________________________ _____________________________
Church members mistreat homeless man - Unaware it's their pastor in Disguise ... Now that's a Christian man I can look up too :)
http://www.google.com.au/imgres?sa=X&biw=1920&bih=950&tbm=isch&tbnid=yy9dp5C8WzdcAM%3A&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwebstreet.com%2Fwhy-a-homeless-pastor-in-church-mistreated-by-the-church-members%2F&docid=R5TwlGCNqJJ-HM&imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.iwebstreet.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F01%2F213.jpg&w=600&h=595&ei=MxjwUveUMsX6kAXIooHYAg&zoom=1&ved=0CHQQhBwwCw&iact=rc&dur=999&page=1&start=0&ndsp=41
http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/Sqatter_zps29972e88.jpg (http://s181.photobucket.com/user/davekyn/media/Sqatter_zps29972e88.jpg.html)
This guy in no Buddha, he is actually a Pastor. Whatever works. - claims it's not such a bad position - Much to be learned & Taught - I Googled the story and was pleasantly surprised - People say the story is a hoax, but as they do are missing the point -> finding the real story is even better. In that experience - I can call myself blessed, once I can let go of the bitterness. Hoax or not - I have been in that position within the church and also asked to take a back seat - ridiculed for my clothes and state not worthy of position closer to the front. Now I definitely prepare to validate much of what people claim as hoax ... to be cont ... in here -> my space

Ponder

02-03-2014, 03:37 PM

Dahila - I am now reading your kind words again - and again :) go get cuppa and soak them up one more time - before I respond. You are very kind.

Ponder

02-03-2014, 03:49 PM

THANK YOU ... nothing more, nothing less. Thanks for being you!

Ponder

02-03-2014, 06:51 PM

Done! _ I'm going to STOP crucifying myself with the same ol same ol routine. :)

Here are the results of that:
http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/Doneitagain_zps01ce4ec5.jpg (http://s181.photobucket.com/user/davekyn/media/Doneitagain_zps01ce4ec5.jpg.html)

The Hives is from coming off Seroquel / quetiapine. FDA will claim the number of suffers is quite low ... guess I am unlucky. My research shows there are many others out there complaining of this result. I won't scare you with just how bad it is on my other side and where my clothes compress more on my skin. Speaking of which, wearing socks really sets the hives off. I'm a socks and shoes kind of guy that likes to rough it in the bush. I tried going in thongs, but the leaves and sticks also set off the hives with anything down to blowing wind aggravating it. One poor chap suffered up to 8 months with such a withdrawal condition. Screw That! ...

The doctor I saw had a hard time taking in the evidence - My renewal for government funded therapy comes up in July, hopefully I can stay away from the docs until then. Next time I'm going to say bugger all to him - just stick with the facts and keep my musings to myself. Robots they are - that's all they ever be now. Robots ...

SIGH ... sorry if the image makes you gag. Wait till I take a head shot - broken nose to go with crooked eyes and imperfect skin. You've probably seen a few of me anyways in my photo album ... it's good to see people for who they really are, given so many of us work hard on presenting as something else.

Oh --- and please excuse my self made, botched up tat of a smoking bamboo bong (I have plenty other marks like those - another lesson marked for life) - it's been a while since it's been lit. If we had a choose, we might consider using such a herb but in a less toxic form and for more a medicinal use. There has been a lot of good reports for that sort of thing - but much different to it's usual use.

Take care & catch up later ... I'm still hanging out to set my hammock up and swing in the breeze.

Dahila

02-03-2014, 08:18 PM

Then the healer in my can not shut up. Did you ever use potato starch when you take a bath? Or just simple oatmeal. I do not think it helps to heal but it lessen the itching. The leg compresses with apple cider , then wet the bandage and spray some rubbing alcohol on it, put on the ankle... Rest :)) Resting will not kill you immediately :)) Make a plan to go slowly. Why the rush? The weight will go off , maybe it takes 3 or 4 months but it will , you exercise with free weights. Maybe it is old woman saying, love your muscle when you exercise, think about them with love....

I had no idea that Seroquel gives such side effects..

sweet dreams in the hammock:))

Ponder

02-03-2014, 08:52 PM

Hello again Dahila - No Bath at the new place http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v738/LadyFire/Smileys/icon_omfg.gif (http://media.photobucket.com/user/LadyFire/media/Smileys/icon_omfg.gif.html) The ocean has become my new bathing ground - but I need to come up with a process to rinse myself before walking home - still learning that one. I need a bicycle I thinks. Just a cheap one.

Yea - it's not the sort of information this gets recorded often. There are a few people with skin conditions that react to the drug and I've never had hives until coming of this drug. Remember how I thought it was fleas - never was - I've been suffering with the scratching ever since I first started about it then. I appreciate and welcome any healing information you can offer :) No bath - but I will try some of once I get more herbs and solution's like you say - not just for what I have for now, but is on the to do list for a new hobby. Just been so much on my plate.

The hammock will have to wait - but I'll share that pic as soon as it happens. I feel relieved putting off the exercise as I need to refocus in the house and relax when I head outdoors instead of feeling sore. Thanks for your advices Dahila - I was hoping to hear your wise words. :) - I re-strapped my ankle from a youtube video and its feeling much better too. :)

Dahila

02-03-2014, 10:31 PM

Ok oats and coffee grinder, make like flour of that and put it in the container, cover with luke warm water for a few hours then wash your self in it , with the sponge. The relieve will be awesome. Boiled water and put some potato starch in it , make a jelly like fluid, then on sponge and cover whole body. There is nothing better than potato starch for that. to cease the itching, cover with liquid soap, body soap. :))
If you have fresh parsley, squish a bit the leaves and rub on skin. It is like 4 ways....Can not remember more right now....sea water will dry up your skin and you do not want that. After the swimming a bit of olive oil rub in your hands and move it in the places covered by hives...Calendula is a wonder plant. It speeds up the healing of skin....
Bicycle is something so wonderful, yes you need one.

Definitely you need to make oat water, please do it. You will not believe the relieve :))
Have you seen my bike? 1000

In a small cup, add a few drops of water to baking soda and stir until you get a paste. Spread the paste on the hives to help stop irritation and relieve the itching.
Mix 1 teaspoon of any kind of vinegar with 1 tablespoon of lukewarm water and apply the mixture to your hives with a cotton ball or tissue to soothe the itching.
Vitamin E stops itching :))

Ponder

02-03-2014, 11:37 PM

Love the Bike! ... I will only be able to get a cheap one from a place like K-mart - however I kow how to fix them to keep them going and being a beach bike I really don't want to spend much anyways.

OK - I used coffee grinder to grind about a 1/3 cup of Oats I had - put into a medium pot with Luke worm water and leaving it sit for a few hours - then will use sponge. I hope that it right. The oats ended up like a powered that was absorbed right away by the water into a while solution - just stirred a little bit then left sit.

Potato starch? Not sure I got this right - but grated one large potato with small hole grater (just bought a new one :) ) Put in cheese cloth and squeez straight into a bowl --- then put in half a cup of water and used my hand on bootom of cheese cloth to stop water from falling through -- I rolled the cheese cloth and water around in my hand (cheese cloth is a small bag) Then once potato bits had soak up water - I squeezed again - I did this once more with anther half cup of water - then used a colander to lay the last bit of compressed cheese cloth and potato bits - then pressed two food cans from pantry over the top and left for two hours - will then carefully separate water leaving the best of starch on the bottom??? still waiting for the starch to settle.

Do I just then apply starch on my sores?

This is all good ---- The calamine lotion is expensive in the store.

Thanks again Dahila.

Ponder

02-04-2014, 01:28 AM

Ponder

02-04-2014, 06:13 AM

I think those are also great Ideas Frankie. :) Some people charge a bit much and some bikes might need more work than what they are worth, however - sometimes you get some fair second hand sellers that offer bikes at half the price you can pick one up at K-mart for, in that respect - YEA! For sure! --- completely forgot about that option as I have bought from auction places like that before. And I especially love the idea with the aloe vera - if anything, I should look into the drink as well. :) I'm not sure about growing anything yet ... I'm getting a little over with renting these days and have lost all my motivation when it comes to making a home mine. That is really sad I know - I'm at a low point with respect to that kind of thing. Hell, I am supose to water the pot plants they slipped into the lease when we arrived here to sign it. I'm really over it all - I guess I should make some half assed attempt to water those tomorrow. Sorry Frankie - I really do love that idea. Thank You.
__________________________________________________ _______________________________________________

Child Ashamed of Parents - Wedding Crisis!
On other fronts - not so good with our youngest daughter whom is ashamed of us. She is getting married to some Christian Guy whom we do not know. Our daughter went to great lengths to keep this guy from meeting us. Apparently my unemployment status as well as mental issues have me regarded as that "Physco Retard" not to mention lack of money, house and quality car. Given this kind of talk regarding standards and being up to scratch, everything made much more sense when she revealed to us, that he comes from a hard core Christian Family. "Dear God! ... that's all we need!

Here is the punch line ... She claims the man now wants to get married "before" the birth of their new child. Hmmmm - I wonder if anyone can see the Hypocrisy in that. I'm getting to old for this shit. SIGH.

Dahila ... I don't mind symbolic gestures, but this wedding thing is a classic example of how such symbolism often outweighs practicality:

None of this pair have any money for this unborn child, - they are in crisis talks already with the real-estate pending their lease agreement for RENT (Yes poor renters themselves!) Have no furniture - nothing whatsoever for this kid to be - yet they have pulled out a TEN THOUSAND dollar loan. I know this is mere pittance to many middle class types that flog themselves during the week - however this spells out much to us again on the Hypocrisy of such symbolism, Priorities and all that ...

Not one thing purchased yet for this branded Wedlock child - Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - instead a $10.000.00 Loan to suit up and glorify the Church and Families.

It crushed us to see how our daughter rejected us in the beginning - but now with all this sudden news of a quick wedding - My wife is not coping well and I fully understand.

We tried explaining we spent the last of our money making yet another move. It costs us Thousands of dollars each and keeps us in the red all the time. "Come on Darl" I explained "we are broke, it's the reason you kept us seeing your boyfriend and now all of a sudden you want us to drop everything and come to a wedding when we don't have a dime?" - "can't you at least wait for us to get on our feet, let your mums broken leg heal and we'll see?" - "Who is this guy at any rate - you never wanted him to come and meet us, so why should we be so interested now?"

If I wanted to get symbolic as seems to be very much the case with Wedlock Child Vs penny-less parents - Then I don't know many Dads, into give their daughter away to men they have no knowledge of! All I can say, is my fucking God - how these Christian Types Live such fucking LIES ... and that is being kind! My wife is going to prepare a well written letter explaining her broken leg and need for time to get a little money together so we could attend - if in fact we agreed and supported the wedding - WE DONT!

Worst thing she could of done was reject us as a poor dysfunctional family for this BS Cristian Man who impregnated her to begin with. pffffft! That's be first on the list within her letter no doubt - KID first - wedding last - best me meeting up with us if you intend any kind of blessing - LOL - what a fucking mess and disrespectful types these people be.

If it doesn't rain it pours! Now to make matters worse, my beloved daughter now goes in seek of my sister who herself has her name in the wondrous Book of Life! ... My sister never had any real interest in my daughter until now!!! Bible bashes, they really know how to fuck families up. I wonder if my drug induced shizo brother will get an invite??? He was rejected by Sis and her evangelical husband for failing to meet the christian standard to which so many of us are unsuccessful in.

Happy families and religion - don't they just make you sick!
__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ___________________

I think my wife is smart writing a letter to explain our predicament to this man and tell him much of the above, but in a much nicer way of course - either way - it will be the truth - Weddings and funerals are full of so much shit - what counts is how one lives in between. Hell, he doesn't even spend any time with her - she is always on face book telling others how sad and alone she feels. The other truth in this, is that she is always stuck with his "other" 2 kids! He is out always working and when back home gives her fuck all attention. Those religious types love the gender specific roles!

Even if my wife's leg was not broken and we had the money - fuck them and their BS way - I'd never condone a relationship like that under such a pretentious gathering and expectations. Control freaks - VERY SAD to see how our daughter has rejected us and now despises us, due to our inability to attend such a rushed wedding - not to count the conflict of interest and obvious non-support to such a disaster. My poor daughter has no life skills prior to this, suffer extreme anxiety as well - not to mention quite gullible -

Fortunately as sad as it all is - there is nothing I can do to convince her - as the more I try - the more dead set she becomes to dig her own grave. My Sister will take great Joy in attending while I am unable to support such a mess. In that Joy is pure evil itself. Again - so typical of religious families living the Lie. That false hood - the illusion to which all those gurus speak about in their books -

In that I revert to .. in order to let this mess unfold and simply leave the door open to anyone of them who thinks they have the humility to come greet us after the fact. But lets not hold out breath - only when lessons are learned can one hope for wisdom to sink in. Happy snaps of such events are very very fleeting and meaningless in the scheme of things. Alas ... as always ... the door will remain open.
__________________________________________________ _____________

Thanks for listening - my rant for this night.

Ponder

02-04-2014, 06:14 AM

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzz very tiring stuff ...

Dahila

02-04-2014, 08:24 AM

In your own time Dahila - I was wondering how to store the Potato starch. Do I just use it like calamine lotion? Edit - cool - the potato starch seems to work like the calamine - I'm impressed. BTY - I am covered in bits of OATS - wish I had a bath, however I seemed to of done a good sponge job. My wife also found a bunch of herbs good for Hives as well AKA Natural Antihistamines. Lots of teas and so forth. I will have to work out how to store this stuf - powder form would be good for re-hydration I suppose - would like to take some with me for on overnight camps.
Fantastic, you even made your own potato starch. I take it easy and buy one in store. It is fantastic for the skin, my mother put it on me, bath me in it. I had a skin condition, based on allergies, with hives all over my body for years..
One of the reason I make my own soap which comes wonderfully;)
Oats are the best to take a bath in it, but if you do not have a bath sponge bath will do. Liquid soap is alkali so will work on itching :) I am happy you find some relieve.

Aloe vera is good for burning, and healing but does nothing with hives and itching, I would rather not put the one from the store on my skin, I prefer fresh without chemicals. The one from store contains a lot of unnecessary things, to preserve it well. Your wife is right, you need to treat it with something beside the easing the itching.. Herbs, herbs, Nettle (do you have it in Australia?) Is the best, for allergies, so is raw honey with pollen
My bike was not expensive, costco I paid around 300 , I wish I could have the light and good one, but spending 3 thousand on bike is on the very bottom of my list.:) Now I will read the long post:))

I finished reading the post about your daughter, and it feels painful, just reading it. I would be heart broken so you are and your wife. Such disappointment. When our children do not want to have relation with us, and keep us in darkness about their life, it hurts like hell. I know how it feels but will not say it here. Have been there....

I was raised with my sister she was not blood relative, she was my step father daughter, and there was wedding with the christian, very devoted , and that was it. We lost contact, I had seen her twice in ten years with her children. and when I left for Canada I could not get to say goodbye to her, living in the same city she would not see me. She died in age of 44. such a waste. The family would not let her have any contact with us. you probably guess why?

I think your wife is right about the letter. Listen to her Dave she is your calming person. she puts a bit of sand on your fire, that's good.
It is difficult situation, hell you do not know who the guy is.

Your daughter made a choice she will live with it. Hopefully she will not have a tough life. Lets hope for the best. You need to keep taking care of you and your wife. that it!!!

Ponder

02-04-2014, 01:08 PM

Just waking up and srry for my outburst last night.

I a m So Sorry to hear about your own developments that unfolded as you described. Whilst people claim others to be a source of strength from such events, please accept this cyber hug {} ... if it pleases you, I wish you all the more ability to Tune in and Read as the Great Reader I have read you to be. In some kind of way, its how I think pain opens us up to "the other side", (cryptically speaking) I hope you understand the respect and adoration to which I speak.

May not be much comfort for some. Your a Legend Dahila ... I wish you all the peace that can be had.

TY , for you ear. {}

Edit - I rang mum today and feel much better for having filled in the gaps - we are all very concerned for our daughter and the possible abuse that she is currently in as well as what awaits. You are right that at some point, we must accept the paths in which we all find ourselves on, and concentrate working with what is withing our means. Our daughter will have the support of my other family members, however they shall extend our concerns and validate our right to object. This brings me a huge relief, although something I will have to oversee from a distance.

Forgive me for still going - had I not brought up such a concern in this here my journal, I guess ---- for sure I would not of been able to hold it together with mum. I'd rather be an open book than a total wreck. :)

Until next time --- wishing you the very best, as to of others ...

Did I say, this guy picked up our daughter on Facebook and used her as a sex toy from the age of 15! It's been a few years now - both his other kids are to separate women - All the abortions we supported by us without his care whatsoever, and now this ---- He would come pick her up, then drop her off a few hours later - SEX TOY - I can't begin to explain how I was and have been able to reign myself in ... and now the facade of a Christian Wedding is like rubbing salt into an already festing wound - Believe me when I say I would love nothing better than to rip his throat out and watch him gasp and bleed to death!

I hope my wife can defend our precious daughter with this letter she now writes - People - yet another reason I hate being human. Alas - I shall venture into the woods to find my peace for the day.

Moving on -

Ponder

02-04-2014, 10:09 PM

Something good may come of it yet ... bides time for the light to sink in.

http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2824/9055780382_5cf7252336_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/9055780382/)
Todays Sunshine (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/9055780382/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Ponder

02-05-2014, 04:25 PM

-------

Back Soon To Write What Really Comes To Mind:

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/skeleton-sword-animated-b-61_zpsa59e1714.gif (http://s181.photobucket.com/user/davekyn/media/skeleton-sword-animated-b-61_zpsa59e1714.gif.html)

Ponder

02-05-2014, 11:00 PM

___________________________________
______________
___
-

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/FindYourPurpose_zpscc7b5249.jpg (http://s181.photobucket.com/user/davekyn/media/FindYourPurpose_zpscc7b5249.jpg.html)

Which reminds me, I must remember to pull mine out of the freezer tonight. Thanks be to the Great Chicken Gods. What blessed beings we be. :)

jessed03

02-06-2014, 12:10 AM

I actually had you down as a bit of a vegetarian ponder. I think it's the whole Buddhist interest you have, and their 'sentient beings' thing they talk about.

What are you having with your chicken?

Got a nice bowl of gluten free cereal with rice milk waiting for me... Yum... Not!

Are your herbs helping with the hives? I developed some before I got disgnosed with the celiac. Nasty things indeed! I must have appeared kinda mental walking down a busy street, scratching all over like a freakin octopus. Lol

You don't have to worry about people thinking badly of you anymore here. Everyone's so afraid of each other they never even make eye contact with you haha

Can I have an allergy test doctor?

No, just take these antihistamines. Doh!

What a productive FIVE YEARS that was!!!!

Still, I added to benadryls profits!!

I'll have to quiz Dahila on some of her soaps. Since reading the labels of everything, I realize how much nasty shit everything contains.

Speaking of Dahila, I wonder if she punched out that racist asshole yet. Dahila, I forgot to ask what your cold revenge was you had planned for him haha

Night!

Later peeps!

Enjoy your chicken Ponder!

Dahila

02-06-2014, 07:36 AM

Jessed I am not in rush, I wait, and there will be time when the opportunity arives.
I am listening Jon and I love it. I know everything what he is talking about but to have it sum up is just awesome.

Emotions, I started to feel crowded on forum, the youngsters who do not even browse the forum for topics they post. I am losing the interest.
Every time i register to forum I check the board for interesting posts. I read it and usually find the answer. What is going on with people that they have inform world about everything? I m going to bring another cuppa :)))

jessed03

02-06-2014, 09:19 AM

Time to jack Ponders thread a little bit :)

Dahila, do you like Olive oil soap?

Dahila

02-06-2014, 09:23 AM

Not really it is slimy, but I like mine which contains Coconut oil, palm oil, olive oil, castor oil;))) Do not start on it Jesse, that's my new crazy passion; soaping....
Today is Bob's birthday

1003

Dahila

02-06-2014, 10:32 AM

Jesse use Dr. Bronner soaps, they are expensive but very hard also and they are made the same way as i make mine. They are catile soaps. Mild and moisturizing , made of organic oils Olive oil, hemp oil. I have tons of that. I am not very expierenced in soaps but the first one made, and my hubby does not want to use anything else.
On winter time our skin is covered by clothes, and drying out. I do believe in natural not toxic soaps, and home made lotions, using safe oils, not like the commercial ones based on Mineral oil, known as carcinogenic :))
Yes you are right with palm oil. I use what I have and use lard instead, which works the same. I am not vegan, so I do not mind.

I think the hamburgers destroy the rainforest, they cut the trees to make the place for grass, killing so many species and killing our lungs, eh human race....
Get the soap from her, if she makes them there is nothing beside Vitamin E or Rosemary antioxidant, It is something to prevent the oils go rancid, I bet she has something for senstive skin

I love Bob

jessed03

02-06-2014, 01:13 PM

Dahila

02-06-2014, 06:42 PM

It's not so bad. £3.99 I just saw online.
When I was a teenager with skin problems, I bought a £17 soap from some designer store, thinking it would help. It didn't help. People thought I was crazy to buy a £17 soap. Probably I was, just desperate!

What's better, liquid soap, or soap bar.. Or no real difference?

I think some palm oil is ok, some is better produced. I was shocked when I saw a documentary about it, and massive amounts of rain forests were cut down for the palm oil. And it was in everything too. Also the hamburgers are just as bad. But hey, people don't want to pay extra 10cents for their burger. Having healthy air, and non polluted world isn't worth extra 10cents to them :)...

To quote bob on his birthday 'Health is the greatest wealth'

sorry for quoting but it does nto let me in otherwise. I m still on xp . Bob was right,;)
Bar soaps seems less drying, get the one with avocado oil if possible, hemp oil or sunflower oil. I spend fortune on soaps and creams and lotions. Almost everything caused the reaction. I am extremely allergic to different chemicals.
It does not seem the case when I use my home made, and actually preserved correctly products. :)) Liquid soap tend to dry up the skin...

Ponder

02-06-2014, 06:58 PM

Sorry Guys, the Drama outside is toooo much for me. Damn for for taking a walk outside these doors.

I have a good response for you jesse, but lost in now......re the eating chicken and talking Buddha style thing. hmmmmmmmmmmmm then I wanted to discuss more on Readings with Dahila ...I just joined back up at the spiritual forum myself. Not sure quite why this time around ... I'm actually perplexed at what my first post there will be.

Your all good people - that's all I can really say. I hate all the fencing that goes on - the resisting and personalizing and yet I have to watch myself on that front ... but to be fair - it's why I like to generalize - (for the better meaning of that word)

I comeback when collect my thoughts ...

Dahila

02-06-2014, 07:13 PM

Ponder please do, then I will be at home and will take pleasure in reading your post :))

Ponder

02-07-2014, 01:52 AM

Jesse, Your Awesome dude ... please don't mind my ---Hmmmmm--- reasoning with the whole moderation thing and actually any miss understandings we have had - your one of the ones that comes back and touches base, regardless of mine and others paranoia. One thing about me, is that although super sensitive and trigger happy - is that I am often true to the Hebrew aspect of my Name - Day-Vid ... Although quite enthusiastic and passionate about the things I do, I often trip over my own feet - But - quick to surrender for the sake of peace. Or at least I aim to be that way for the positive aspect that such brings. One could see that as a cowards way out but I see into it, much deeper than that.

None of that is meant to justify my obvious faults - just making peace, other than saying the word itself. :)
__________________________________________________ ____

YES Thank You - since I stopped running and sweating so hard - as well as covered myself in OATS - LOL - The Hives have not been that uncomfortable at all ... hmmmm ... here's hoping. I think my body needed the rest from the stress. I will work on my weight after my immune system lines itself back up. I have to remember it's still early days since coming off the meds (...and I may have to go back on the yet --- I'm not closing the door on that... one step at a time)

The thing about -> The Buddha and the Chicken
--------------->>>>> Because it was there? LOL ...

It does seem that a lot of people when taking on board new philosophies and spiritual concepts, that they do tend to digest the lot as Gospel or the latest Authoritative Version because such and such said ... Seems to be as I see it in the numerous philosophical and spiritual forums I have frequented with debates breaking out that conflict the very essences of these concepts to begin with. Allow me to reason, that I eat the chicken in the same way, as a Native American would honor the kill. I am no Buddha ot mystic by any means, however I do take on board what works for me. I would love to reach that point, where I am able to eat, drink and live of leaves ... I actually think there is quite a healing to that, or a great appeal to me in the connection to mind body and spirit ...

One day I would really like to eat and breath without the consumption of meat. I'm just not ready for that - Yet. I have had a taste of what that is like, and it really is awesome - I laugh to think , that is was again exercise - that brought me undone - in the context to which I do not switch off, when I run. I ran myself into the ground. Actually, it is not so much the meat when thinking about what is right for the body and soul - I think - it's more about how we go about the consumption and how we live as a result.

I'm just not there yet - however I can very much still absorb what concepts sound valid for me to keep living ... to find hope in as I come to learn what hope mean - in as much as I am also wrestling with the term happiness as well.
__________________________________________________ __________________________

I go on too much :) ... but now I go on some more ... about the spiritual forum in Google to which I have been a member before. One of the Admins was really good to me - She talked about a gift she had, which I think was linking up with people on the other side - like when people have died. A Medium I think they call it. Anyways - I tired hard to look deeply into where I was at - pretty much the same way I do in here. I posted my pictures, put in some links, asked challenging questions from time to time - but eventually, I gave in to my own Ego and started to react to the posts of others.

I got sick of all the little garden gnomes that seem to come to life and grow wings - the little tinker bells, guardian angles, all the way down to dark shadows and demons. It's like each one of those manifestations have their own mass of followers and doctrine - Given how I love to take so much in, trying to distinguish the truth between chakras, crystals, astro traveling, metaphysics, Yogi's combined with several different religions ... is it any wonder that some of us end up as little Buddhas, that eat chicken and use insecticides ... SIGH.

Yet - I am trying very hard to respect others people journeys that they choose to take. Many of those thing I mentioned above would stir in me, some kind of frustration with the false sense of happiness I see so commonly being sold in and around the place 24/7. I think I am nearing the end of that speech. Hooray Hooray :) ... and much of that has come from listing to much of the eastern philosophies rewritten and expressed by the west ... WOWZERS - coming fro the guy that has struggled with the chopping and changing - all my anti-sentiment that I have preached from the corner, like a spiritual nut out to damn and conquer. Tainted or not, so strong is the message regardless of my claims that it's slowly starting to sink in. Not quite so much like a brainwashing session of my past, but more so once accepting the conflicting aspects that prick from my own ego or whatever and wherever such comes from - that I am starting to see what issues I need more work on.

Forgive me as I am loosing concentration now ... Although I am not quite into the aspects of the life before and that after, the reincarnation and what comes next - or perhaps I should say I simple just don't know much about those things but perhaps want to know there is more to this existence than what is said. Reincarnation sounds like hell to me - I definitely think it is misunderstood and I'm not buying into Right and wrong with punishments and that kind of thing. However I do like the aspect of "being" - creating ones own world without the limits of the one in which we currently live -

I am starting to believe we will become what we presume and that such will influence our pain and suffering in this moment and the next. Perhaps that may sound obvious for most people, but it is not as simple as it sounds. I am currently somewhat unemployable - on a pension in fact - I am unable to perform within the standard of society and therefore regarded as mentally unstable. That is a fact that I have on paper - in fact I actually has to present and prove a case to rid myself of the destabilizing pressure. Often my own family will tell my how useless I am - Kids, what you going to do - - they don't understand just how hard the world has become. ALAS - even though I have it all stamped and proven no doubt with checks and balance to come - Life by society standard today is always about proving ones position -

I don't want to be sick - so until I can come up with some kind of belief of my own, I will be stuck in this damn illusion always having to prove my worth - that in itself is destined to keep my down ... Can I keep walking around with my camera taking photos of tress and the ocean and learning to write poems? I guess I could as long as I am on a pension and able to eat and breath ... can I live with the ridicule? -> I'm hoping to bridge that very gap sooner than later by just accepting my position, but more so by adopting another regardless of whether I still remain unmoved by anothers point of view ..............

I once used the term to "reinvent oneself" .................

That's exactly what I need to do! ...... I'm done with worrying about where I fit, how I look - but more interested in wanting to find a new place outside the realm of illusion and all that. I bet if I could do that, I could see others who are able to walk calmly in the ever present mess. I'm not quite sure what it will be - I'm more interested in just letting it be - For now - Yes - I am interested in going back to the trees. Perhaps there I can find some kind of purpose that make sense with all this mess - Not many people want to talk about what spirituality really means to them - I am interested though. There has to be more than houses, electricity, gas, bills, and income ...

In the last 2 years electricity in this country has risen 40%! ... During my attempt to find some kind of new purpose amongst the trees, I am under no illusion to cities constructing walls separating those that are able and those that are not. Sounds like Sci/fi - but in hindsight it's almost like prophesy. Where does one find hope in that ...

The Sinking Ship:

I mess around writing something of a survival guide on that ...

until then ... grab whatever you see adrift and help others. Try to avoid the doomsday philosophy - share and share alike. :)

Dahila

02-07-2014, 08:20 AM

Yes Jesse is awesome, not often you meet people his age, in such development of soul, and intelligence. I have very high opinion about him, I hope he will be back when he calms down.

David , I was strict vegetarian for almost two years, paying the price, it is not easy to or it was not to provide my body with all the nutrition. It was a struggle. Of course i was following Ghandi, :) \
Finally I gave up. I am not going to be vegan any time soon. We do not eat a lot of meat, just maybe once a week, and some cold cuts, but not very often. Usually I cook vegetarian meal. However, it is -18 outside and I will have to be there for some time. You need nutrition for that, and to be able not to eat for 8 hours I need a piece of meat, which I honestly enjoy eating.
We are carnivores and changing it does not so much good to body. I was there and I end up with deficiency of iron, magnesium, and others. I looked like a stick, not nice:))
The ideal would be to afford grass feed beef, which is impossible for me. I am nothing like typical Canadian, who eat three times a day in McDonald or other shit. I can not do it, due the gross food, and unhygienic conditions the food is prepared.

The forum with angels and other unworldly creatures, all frauds. I would not dream of charging people 90 dollars for a half an hour of pure BS. There are some people with heightened awerness but usually they do not know what to do with it. So many feeding on unfortunate. I have been there , reading cards, especially tarot cards for years. I am third generation and hope the last one to do this. I have some insights like everyone does, i am just good at reading the cards, which is similar to reading a book.

The accuracy is usually about 80% percent, which is high. I stopped doing it for people, I stopped the business, because I felt like too much bad energies stick around. You know my believes, the universe is a huge computer and we can tap into it. There is my G;)_)) We are plants , we are soil, we are air and day and night:) We are....
When you take the pictures you are in, so much in, that they come beautifully. You are a part of whatever is around. The best is we do not have to do anything, we just are. ...

I wonder, are you understanding what I am trying to say, ?

Ponder

02-07-2014, 07:59 PM

I would like to think I do - we humans comprehend too much and have a superiority complex. The plants, soil, air, day and night are like a perfect symphony. Whilst none has any great insights into what the others doing, what one does knows is enough to sustain its natural presence. The flowers ask not, but simply follow the light, opening up to take in the rays. When the Sun disappears or is blocked by it's companions, plants adapts quickly with their own perceptions. The air and soil are alive as well, with their perceptions too.

If only we could be happy with the simplest of things, then perhaps our perceptions would be more in tune. Content to live as one, with nature being the educator and our minds more sensory to the needs of others as opposed to being taught to think of self first. The day the flower stops basking in the Sun but instead looks in the mirror, is the day the flower dies.

There is so much to be learned from nature, both in advancing science - but without taking in the bigger picture - without the appreciation for what She truly is - thens more the fools we be. Just like others think meditation to be relaxation, so too - many people regrettably postpone the wisdom of nature up to that point where the sun is about to make its final decent ... a point in which there is no coming back. This modern way and high tech thinking has no room for understanding nature in such a deep and meaningful way, instead it seeks to control, conquer and expand it's economy always investing in itself without regard for other living things.

If we are to be thinkers, then we would do better to plants ourselves like a Native Garden based on whats still sustainable and curb the population without regard to an invested economy founded on illusionary ideals.
__________________________________________________ ______________________________________

More and more business are selling off concepts such as new age enlightened green based ideals as well as others grasping with straws that dig deep back into the past with whatever works. Yes - that forum to which I have made no post yet (this time around) - is no doubt a big part of the "franchise" ... Whilst many good willed, the majority no doubt well lost and confused with the mess we are all in ...

YEP! ------------ For sure ... whilst there is not that much left or what is, seems to be rather sick itself - disappearing forests - eroded beaches, creeks, and Land. More and More species becoming extinct. Ice melting, sea levels changing with salinity and o2 lvls fluctuating ... need it be spelt out any clearer the effect of man with regards to the plants, soil, air, day and night. Interesting on day on night - Day typically now breaks way to clouds of black smoke and the stench of chemicals filtering into the atmosphere - come 2 years from now a 50% price hike in electricity can attest to that ... Night is barely seen as the light pollution that once come from a lone street light, now bellows into the yonder from the power of each near by overpopulated town.

Whats a person to do -

Make the most of what is left - People hate talking about such truth as above - there is no denying the destruction when discussed like that. Hell, I have even been kicked out of one forum for delivering it like that. "David We find you are too negative for this forum. Reign yourself in" It was an Australian.Gov Depression Sight and my posts on Ecological destruction darkened the light they were all shining at each other. Perhaps not as simple as that - people would react to the nature of my nature posts - Hmmmm - Irony in truth - We really our kidding ourselves so much of the time - justifying and living in denial - living a big the big lie.

BUT - to be sure - there is still plenty of life left in each of us - the practice of awareness and mindfulness as it is unfolding across the world is hopeful - as is too my own attempts to accept what is, even to open up like a flower taking in what is. There lives are so short, yet so well spent. Sharing and giving - even in death nature still has appeal. Living in the storm is one of many lessons nature can teach, all we have to do is go out and see. Experience what it's like to expand our minds and sensory perception through a little exposure and look to pacing ones self. Feel the heat then the shade - there is much wisdom in experiencing the extremes and then finding out what is really means to be driven - in search of a moments peace. Fear for sure is to be had in what we do not know, the insecurity of being too open and or unprepared - There is much art to be found in such chaos ...

Going out in search of persistent living things is sometime the theme of my macro photography, however I have not really looked at it like that until now. - If only we could learn to become more like plants and appreciate the time we have and the assistance of whatever comes our way.

That's my waffle for today .................. time for a walk ... :)

Dahila

02-07-2014, 08:39 PM

Whatever is left must be loved, cultivated and protected, I am trying to do my best, I stopped using chemicals, I plant the garden where everything has something to eat. No pesticides in it. I have a lot of herbs and they protect the garden too. Many pests do not like the smell of basil , oregano, or lovely. I have melissa which is Lemon balm, very calming herb. I protect the honey bees , they come to my flowers, especially ornametal garlic. I am doing my part, small but every effort counts. Being realistic, they told you that you are negative.
I observe people how they react to extintion of another and another species,; honestly they do not care at all..... it is very sad..

I was a new age like 40years ago, and learned a lot, I am not buying the BS anymore,:)

Ponder

02-08-2014, 04:36 AM

I was being realistic and they responded negatively - patronized me actually.

Thought you might like the following - Just took some Valerian and herbal tea myself and going to give it a watch. Part one whilst I can stay awake :)

This looks interesting - but it goes for a while. 3 parts on HERBS

Dahila

02-08-2014, 06:05 AM

Herbs are wonderful, I am shooting the Lemon balm extract like 25 drops to a bit of water. When I take it 3 times a day I do not need clonazepam;)) Herbs works, but they do not hit you like benzos do. Lemon balm is a perennial and grows everywhere, to make extract is so easy....My daughter shooting it too when she feels agitated and has problem sleeping..
I went through lying meditation, and it was awesome.. I remember this to the end then I got 6 hours of really deep sleep. :))

Cullingford

02-08-2014, 09:09 AM

The sun came out today and I got a nice walk in down by the river.:)
1019

Cullingford

02-08-2014, 09:13 AM

Then I gave the chickens a good clean out its amazing what a bit of sunshine can do for you.1020
I hope you are all doing well.
Cully

Dahila

02-08-2014, 12:39 PM

They look wonderful, healthy and happy. I love the chicken coop, I guess you build it? Nice to see you Culli:))

Cullingford

02-08-2014, 01:11 PM

Hello thankyou for your kind words about the coop yeah I did make it. Its very nice to see you too I hope you are ok especially with the nasty weather you are having, spring is around the corner! :). I will have to find and post some of the photos when I was in poland! I had a lovely time there.

Dahila

02-08-2014, 01:51 PM

Oh I would love to see some, I miss my mother country so much, however I love Canada too, living here for 23 years already:))

Cullingford

02-08-2014, 01:57 PM

I will have to hunt them out! I really liked it there loads of history.

Ponder

02-08-2014, 03:02 PM

Sounds like a plan Dahila. I feel asleep watching the herb video so will hove to watch it again. :) Synergy seems to play a big role with Herbs as it does with many things in life. I watched a video on how to get more out of velerian with smaller doses and with treating the sources over reliance on long term use ... bla bla bla, that way stronger herbs can remain just as opposed to falling into the trap of upping doses like other pills. Learning the difference between your average main stays and how to properly uses that heavier ones seem like a good research project for me as to the types of ingestion and quality of products and home made preps. Just soaking up some of the vids and blogs for now + plus back to herbal teas, minus other things.

WELCOME back Cullingford!!!!!!!!! Thanks for sharing those pics man. Love the first one of the old boat! The sign Dead Slow mad me smile ... Love the grass on the bank leading up to the dock and outback to the buildings their. That's a really great shot! That photo has quite a lot in it and I keep seeing more. DUDE ... you should take more photos when you can and show as more of what's around your hiddy hole. Like they don't all have to be stunners like that one Cull - as I really like the chook one too.

Sussex hey - I had a few of those just a few years back. Good layers when looked after, to which they look fair and happy enough. I miss mine to be sure! ... Sun is good for them too. So many people get chooks yet, neglect the importance of setting thing up in the right direction in mind - Sun helps to keep their pens clean and them happy - with the right mix of shade and wind. Sounds simple enough, but thinking like that I really miss - I loved my large hand dug veggie patches and looking after my Hens too.

Thanks man ----- Really Really appreciated you showing them pics. Thank You!

Dahila

02-08-2014, 05:06 PM

Dave:))))))))))
Both pictures are excellent, the first one River walk is so calm and seems very quiet, but not exactly quiet... I am talking boloney. I love it, Colli but the chicken just got into my heart, they look like pet chicken, well taken care of....

Shoot today I started to make a soap (so far it is gelling, so is good) a beautiful soap , moisturizing but not stripping the sebum from skin as commercial soaps do. Then I got so anxious, ,,, I went twice to take ativan and I stopped , then again, I shoot a glass with lemon balm instead and I am fine, The power of herbs plus mind+good soap:)

Ponder

02-08-2014, 07:43 PM

I really miss not having a Bath! I have to say I would be making more of that Oat Water if we had one. I bet it would be great for my face that also gets dry and itchy skin.
________________________________________________

Hey guys, please don't mind me making one of my Raw Posts - is was the intention of this thread - I understand Dahila that your energy levels and time like anyone else my require less deep thinking and or triggering. Just come on back and over the top of my Soul Sapping posts as they may seem to one or others. I still want to hear about happy things.

For me, its becoming more easier to get these things out as I must. It does tie in with giving up the story - This whole thing about fallacy and fronts - clinging to our stories like horded treasure ... I see a lot of sense in letting go of all that, as too the Game of Civs. I seek not to tell stories but give testimony in a way that allows me to further detach from what I must - yet find hope no matter what. What is hope - I'm not sure about that just yet - But what I would like to do is reconnect with myself - with the boy I once was ...

Finding my way to the Great Big City was an amazing experience - but for all the so called achievements of blocking out the sun with their massive skyscrapers and huge bridges - the fallibility and mindless rushing of these residents alone, was as concentrated and toxic as the smog itself. Humans at their best. I've polished a little poem of mine and given it what I think a better title ... I'll use that as the basis to ponder on the Raw Events and see if I can make sense. Whether likened to Dieing to Self or a re-birthing of the Soul experience ... I can tell you that such places reek with the truth of humanity at just how blinded and cruel they be.

I'll never forget the story - That Bible Tract - that mum either gave or I found in her stuff - about a homeless boy that dies with a smile on his face inside a cardboard box - because just before he died, he cries out Lord Jesus ...
I have my own testimony, but it is far removed from most that leave food on the bins for the homeless to eat. It's more about the process itself of losing ones mind - loosing that faith my mother once sort - to instill with such a Tract. It's the other side of the story from a little boy himself.

The Sapped Soul of a Homeless Child:

Whilst sitting still and all alone
Amidst the people passing by.
My muddled mind begins to moan,
I cup my hands and start to cry.

I’m thankful for the inbound trains
That masks the pain inside myself,
The constant noise that dulls the shame,
Of one more night without a bed.

With morning rush now past its mark
And hunger setting in,
I scan in search across the park
For food left by the bin.

The sun now greets the standing grass,
My eyes give in and close.
Still aware of those that pass,
Pain takes its place and grows.

My mind starts to rot, heart grows weak,
feelings fade - now nothing left;
Days – and - Nights, become one long beat,
What was – once - within, is - now - dead … … _______________

Ponder

02-08-2014, 07:44 PM

...... too be cont... :)

Dahila

02-08-2014, 08:09 PM

Incredible, very touching, the worst is, it does happen all over the world.....sadness but brilliantly written..

Ponder

02-08-2014, 11:15 PM

I'm glad you liked it Dahila. It is true that such takes place all over the world - that's why people seem more insensitive to such suffering and much prefer the tale of happy endings. If people were really more in tune with the suffering that is before them, then perhaps there would be less suffering across the world.

I must go for my walk today as I really neglected to act on what I wrote about my walk yesterday. I have been giving my ankle some rest, however already feeling too sleepy during the days for lack of fresh air. It's amazing just how quick the body can decline when doing nothing inside. I do that now - then touch base ... depression has a way of sticking or finding its way back.

This does not relate in anyway to what I have just written, although a little taxing to simply think - to which I try not to do - Feeling is much better for me when I write - but Seriously, the sudden stop ini activity is not good - although the goal is not to push. My ankle may even need to a tiny bit of aggravation. LOL ...

...............must get up and go now................

Cullingford

02-08-2014, 11:42 PM

Hi guys thankyou for your kind comments on the pictures, I am very lucky living here! there are so many great places you can go when your head feels like a washing machine full of bricks. Sometimes its the only tool I have to be able to get stuff into its correct perspective.

I love the sussex chicken just the right balance with looks and utility ability, so many breeds have been pushed towards looks and colour to the detriment of laying ability. Its a struggle at this time of year to keep the mud at bay! especially with all this rain, I have fresh grass to put them on but they would destoy that quickly when the ground is so wet. I keep saying it spring is on the way!.

I will post more pictures! it will give me the incentive to go places i hav'nt for a while just to show you guys.

Take care D and D and remember Dave take it easy:)

Dorrie23

02-09-2014, 12:31 AM

Oh Cullingford, I'm just so glad you have something in your life you love and makes you happy. It brought a big smile to my face when I just read what you wrote. To hear you say you're very lucky living there. It's just plain nice to hear someone say that. Have a blessed evening. Off to bed. Take care, Dorrie

Ponder

02-09-2014, 01:29 AM

Spring will be there soon - I am on the over hand waiting for Autumn to set on in. Enjoy what is left of measurable seasons - we are Truly blessed to be living in such End Times ... LOL ... Just kidding. Seriously, the good thing about extremes is knowing one is still alive.

I'm not sure what it correct Cull, but I know what you mean about the benefits of looking at the world through the eye of a camera.

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/boy-with-camera_zps1f99e81b.jpg (http://s181.photobucket.com/user/davekyn/media/boy-with-camera_zps1f99e81b.jpg.html)

Not sure if I asked, but what type of camera you using again? Compacts are handy cameras, however I need to get one with a really bright screen as my wife's is hard to see. You really pulled off a great shot with the boat and water there. I like my DSLR, but it can be rather cumbersome when I want to go light.

__________________________________________________ _______________________________
I need not say anything about where I live - my pictures tell it all ... wink wink

My walk was good - I need to keep that up now ...

PS - I'll be sure to take it easy. :)

Cullingford

02-09-2014, 02:15 AM

Hi Dave the camera I used yesterday is a tiny Nikon digital!. I am still using film alot and feel most comfortable with a Zenit or Praktica I have quite a few M42 lenses. If I want to travel light then I have a lovely Kodak retina 111c ! its just a joy to hold and use, If you ever get a chance to try one do must be one of the finest cameras ever made. ( thats only my opinion)

This little digital thing is ok I got it from a charity shop!. I turn off the screen and use the viewfinder your DLSR must be good I like to stick some filters on and go black and white, I think you at least need a polarising filter with colour and you have no option with a compact.

The seasons here are very defined which is good and each has there own beauty, bulbs are now coming up snowdrops here then daffodils and bluebells soon. The woodlands will be covered in a carpet of blue.:)

Take care Cully

Thanks for all your kind comments Dorrie I will send you a message later sleep well.

Ponder

02-09-2014, 03:05 PM

_____________________
_______
_

Is this the Kodak Retina IIIC pictured below that you refer too. Looks like an amazing camera:

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3690/12419233103_08c69a840b_b.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12419233103/)
Kodak retina 111c (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12419233103/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Here is a beautiful photo I found on Flickr with that camera associated to it:

http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2842/12374376833_78f479b8a3_b.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/47367473@N02/12374376833/)
Orange Conty N.C. (http://www.flickr.com/photos/47367473@N02/12374376833/) by Eric W. Larson (http://www.flickr.com/people/47367473@N02/), on Flickr

Do you have a scanner Cull ?

Ponder

02-09-2014, 07:23 PM

Here's - another deep and meaningful with myself - the little lost boy. It really is amazing how I actually wish to be as close to that light as it were, way back then. A very sketchy piece, but it again, something logged into my well in which to draw. That and the other Poem give me much to express how dyeing to self and benefits of suffering can actually come about, leaving those with who appear to have nothing, all the more richer for having had the journey as possessed to those that seek and chase sensual bliss. Just so much to contemplate ... kind of back peddling from the effort to get in touch with how I actually felt - as the boy that slept that night and all the others. I need a break before talking about that great white light!

http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2853/12424116073_eb052b02d2_b.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12424116073/)
Finding The Light (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12424116073/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Dahila

02-09-2014, 08:29 PM

Incredible, what can I say? Thank you should be good. It is beautiful, I had read it twice, still staying with me.....once more;)

Ponder

02-10-2014, 02:05 AM

Perhaps it may be vague and I would not mind to deconstruct that - as too with the other poem as well. It's good for me to try and tell as best I can. I do love the company of other people, despite feeling so stigmatized from my past - but in such painful solitude I remember well those moments of the bright warm light within. I know it might just be psychological from the imprinting of religious content and despite later feeling betrayed with humanity and it's blatant hypocrisy to such a warm and guiding light - There is no doubt in my mind, that there is something quite all encompassing in each and everyone of us. Anyone no matter what their status, race, worth, or whatever! - is able to make contact with that bright white light as at those moments I came not to only see, but also feel it in my bones - whilst is that state of feeling so alone. The loneliness of rejection when surrounded by so many it really something I would like to describe another time. It's a real eye opener to be sure.

I post this pic of me today - I managed to go out an find a spot. Not the best quality - had to hang the compact from a tree on a self time - none the less I had you folk in mind. If only I had such a hammock when I was a child. :) - It was 13 when I first went into anther's home / fostered and all that - whilst at 15 some people might think that not a child - that's when I started sleeping in bus shelters and being from a one horse town - I never really grew beyond 12, so I was a sitting duck well into my 20s - that is how I can say my accounts come form such a child's perspective. There is good advice about talking to self as if a small child. It's very much how I try to be when I draw from my feelings - and also if I want to really be compassionate to others, I will try not to say anything unless I can say it to a small child.

Just out and about with my Day Pack - found a spot and had a good read.

Upgrade from Slipper Dip :)

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7367/12429810333_fde76226b3_b.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12429810333/)
Upgrade from the slippery dip - (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12429810333/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Ponder

02-10-2014, 02:26 AM

____________________________
____________
_

The New Hammock Spot

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7294/12429670685_20a2df277a_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12429670685/)
Hammock spot (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12429670685/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

It's not exactly all that well hidden and I've got my white shoes sitting on my chair outside the hammock. I really don't care about anyone seeing me. Have basically live my whole life in a spot light in front of others. People may walk down to the beach from their back yards, but as far as I can tell, they don't own these trees. The beauty of putting all this in a little day pack is no one can really claim I am camping. For that, they are really gong to have to have a good look out in the dark.

Notice the shade that blocks the hot afternoon Sun. Indeed this turned out to be quite a good spot. The breeze combined with that shade made for a quick cool down after walking some ways from my door. Next time I might start or at least eventually I will - begin to practice drawing again. I got some more pics, but need to spend time with my wife - we just go a hold of the latest regarding the walking dead. Going to grab a USB!

Later Guys -
Vagrant Dave. LOL :)

Ponder

02-10-2014, 05:19 AM

On other fronts I have to admit, I am starting to drown with other responsibilities. Best get the house in order tomorrow! No offense, but I can't wait till my last boy grows his wings. I can barely keep up with my wife. :(

lizard0921

02-10-2014, 06:23 AM

I enjoyed your photo album! It's amazing! Hope all is well with you&hearts;

Dahila

02-10-2014, 08:28 AM

Yeah fantastic photo, and the hammock spot is good, truly beautiful.

The loneliness of rejection when surrounded by so many it really something I would like to describe another time. It's a real eye opener to be sure.

That would be an excellent but painful topic for you and for others......

Ponder

02-10-2014, 01:29 PM

Thanks for saying so lizard. I hope is just as well with you and yours. Please do pull up a seat and share as you wish. I love lizards :)
My internet is slow slow in the new house (I upload a lizard photo after) - I in fact have a good photo of a lizard that I crawled on my belly through the grass to take a photo, as it was sun baking on the waters edge. My I ask why you decided on a username called Lizard?

Cullingford

02-10-2014, 02:30 PM

Superb spot for the hammock Dave! thats whats living is all about.
The camera is similar to the one in the picture you posted, mine has a built in selenium light meter its such a well built thing. I do have a scanner there is is a picture on here in my album titled ferry hut it was taken with the Retina.

Ponder

02-10-2014, 03:28 PM

You know me Dahila - Now I must ramble on it - (and ramble is probably the best so forgive me if it's long winded)

I could only ever give my perspective as I lived it and in many was as I still do within my own house regarding my wife and son. First off, the photos on the web just don't cut it for me. It certainly makes for a good theme and there are many portraits shots, that seem to encompass the state of mind that loneliness brings. I shall attempt to best use words I to paint such a picture as I see it.

one:

My poems on the previous page paint quite well for me, but with so few words such may still be obscure and perhaps will remain so to others whom have had a different experience to me. I just can't help but get lost in mind as I try to fathom both the lessons and damage I've sustained. Most definitely a source to which the mind seeks to cling, like the only chemical reaction that so many of us have known and such suffering brings. With that in mind, the pain and suffering of loneliness left unabated often ends up a life long entrapment for most.

Two:

I'm not a happy seeker and wary of such pursuits. I most certainly have had and still do at times, experienced highs. Those moments in which some form of happiness comes, so typically fleeting as it be. It's quite exhilarating yet frightening given suffers of extreme rejection and long term loneliness struggle with feelings of joy. Unfortunately IMO people tend to disassociate with themselves by turning their backs on their past (letting go of story is good, but first one must seek the deeper meaning to that story. Further meaning still required on this point)and go in search of making a new improved versions; of a better self. It's as much a drug to which pain becomes. It's all chemical and learning that is key! Fear plays a large role, whether we are deemed clinically depressed, or mentally stable.

Three:
-------------------------------> I can feel my own resistance here - but reaching is far better than none at all ---- needs work ---- whilst obscure I attempt to be mindful whilst I grasp...
I do apologize if this in any way seems offensive to those who seemingly appear to be doing so well - I assure you it is not intended to be and I remain mindful as I can be to my own fallibility such as wants, jealousy, and all those kinds of triggers and counter claims that may come to mind. I do not claim to have any answers others than my attempts to simply write, what I feel I must. Some people believe that working hard is a must, that the pursuit of happiness is an obligation left to self so that if others suffer, then blame can be sort and self/diagnosis begins - pushing harder towards self betterment with expected standards often being the prescription given & or sort. --->>> Why?
__________________________________________________ ___________________

Exactly what have I achieved with this little post?

One ... Identifying how addicted we become to out emotions.

Two ... I am wary of seeking happiness and to some extend why that be ... how fear plays into it ... (need to elaborate on that)

Three ... Hmmm This one harder to explain. I'm trying to be mindful with connecting bridges between the extremes - the illusion to some degree, knowing it's a sensitive issues on both sides of the fence. How we react and judge, seeking to justify perhaps. Number three tries to make a point, but just as with such analytic thinking - It threatens to turn the attention from self - to something more external - more comfortable - The Ego that loves to side tract.

.................................................

OK - I think that is a fair start - Now I really have to get on top of my work - so that then I will feel more at "ease" - "Pleasantly" so and then perhaps pick up on this and explain the balance of such words ... who knows. edit -> Deletes smiley face as it cheapens the attempted meaning and highlights the Ego - perfect example of how prone to the mind we really are. - Time and a place for everything ...

Ponder

02-10-2014, 03:30 PM

Hey Cull :) ... Just caught that. Thanks man ...
I go look at your album before I get started. Glad you mentioned it.

Take care.
Back Later.

Edit, would this be that Cull?
http://anxietyforum.net/forum/album.php?albumid=207&attachmentid=914

Interesting - I would prefer 10am till 2pm :)

GeneAllen

02-10-2014, 06:25 PM

Ponder

02-11-2014, 03:30 AM

That means a lot to me ... Thanks Gene. I have been watching more of your vids :) ... very insightful. TY. My internet has gone very slow, so I think I will have to start downloading to my computer to watch them without timing out. I just worked out that your voice reminds me of John Goodman in King Pin and the TV soap Rosanne. Of course, I don't know that guy, I instead have the both the pleasure and honer of knowing you. :)

It's good you seem to have a strong belief system - or that's how I'm thinking of you. The whole mess up I have had with Christianity has really disillusioned me to the peace I once was able to find in my storms. I remember well what it was like to be able to dig deep into grounded beliefs and feel all nice and warm whilst like my poems, out in the cold. That's gone for me now having grown up and seeing just how the masses abuse such fostering - I don't mean to pine, just saying how I miss such a thing - but to be true - when I was closest at that moments where the warmth really came (usual in the storms times) -

Sorry Gene -- very very tired today. It's good that some people can see it as a personal relationship with something else other than them self, however for me - damage is done, and I'm not meaning to challenge anyone by crying about that - it's just that those of us that really gave ourselves over when so young to only find out just how cruel and judging the world really is - well - I guess the hypocrisy just burns those types for good. I need to believe in something - I know that much. I want to get back up and I also want to help - but I just can not function in the world the way it is - not just yet. Sounds like a cop out - I know - thing is, I'm doing well to hang in as far as I can tell ...

I want to look forward to my death - the storms in this world and this physical plain really don't have much to offer across the board and equal plains ... that's just it - there is no equality to be had - everyone it so busy trying to climb the ladder and all that. Your a soldier Gene and it's good to hear you talk. Don't worry about not having a thousand subscribers, hits, likes and reads or whatever - you keep doing what your doing. Your speaking out - and not clinging. That's the spirit and your doing it just being yourself, which is really a good feel - genuine and all that.
__________________________________________________ ________________________________

Tired, but I'll just do some typing [practice i guess:

My family on my mums and grand mothers side is largely Hebrew so mum always went on how being christian was a big deal, but always was proud of her heritage as I to was raised like wise. We have a very multicultural family with my step dad the DR coming form Singapore, however that did us no favors, as us kids where sent away not long after those two hooked up. Thing is though, I really gave my soul into this christian religion - took on Jesus as my one and true friend. After having so many dads, I figured having one for life would be better than none. I was a keen student at Sunday School - when I prayed I really felt a presence - such is the power of belief. I did not have it easy at school, so my storms have been with my all my life and much of the teachings from Sunday school saw me excel in the things I chose to do.

None the less - we were beat by one of mums high ranking friends within the church and all that - when she used to babysit us. I think I must of had some kind sign on me "here beat this child" as later the primary school teacher used to do that same thing. Mum always found it hard to believe - so I toughened up. Hell, even mum used the belt buckle from time to time. That part of Jesus, I never really liked, and come to think of it, I don't think he was really the one that came up with the rod idea ... does not matter, because I don't know the guy anymore. BUT - I remember the times and I think I've told it here or elsewhere ...

When I came back from jackarooing up north (cowboy/cow cocky/cattle station hand) - to which I was sent and did not work out - My Step Dad basically says - would you like a cup of tea before you saddle up (head off again) - I was devastated ... although I kind of expected that as had already been fostered out to other christian family's where they too sent me back - I had just traveled a thousand miles hoping mum would at least give me some time - angst all the way and deep in despair. NOPE ... so it was then at 15 - three years of rejection prior to that I headed a further TWO THOUSAND KM down the east coast of Australia towards Melbourne - Via Sydney.

It kind of sunk in then - this Dr fella was dead set on keep me out. I was lucky that for my 15 years of age, I was reasonably broad and strong - not that tall, but I could hold my own if if came to that, to which soon enough I had to prove myself on the open road. But for then during that moment, I understood how it was that I had lost me Bro to another child's home and my sister as soon as the Doc moved in - in fact made a poem about how my sister was bashed - but now - having been offered a cuppa like some stranger at the door - that really dug deep. I had one army duffer bag with all that I owned - no income, no food, no water, no home -

Guess what - It began to rain!!!!! ( I love Rain :) ) This moment really set the beginning of my homeless era - I tried to toughen up with singing Sunday school songs ... LOL ... quite sad really ... what was worse is that the clouds parted and the Sun began to shine, at the that very moment a car coming down the road pulled over and gave me a ride - I shit you not! That was exactly the first leg of my homeless journey ... It's true that back then, when I sang and prayed as I wavered on the road whilst so young, to see the rain stop suddenly and the sky open like that with car pull up - I felt really blessed. I was actually quite the people person back then - naive to be sure, the kid from the one horse town - but for all the tainting and corruption to come, I held true to my religion for quite some time.

I guess that brings me to the point of how I lost it - How I lost my religion - I don't doubt till this day that what happened on that open road when I prayed had some kind of spiritual significance regardless of the timing of events and coincidence - belief ties into that really well - the preconceived ideas that have been instilled. Basically the corruption I have seen within Christianity and all is moments over my time as the charity case, husband and father and the growing up rapidly in the last decade and a bit, is nothing to that which I saw as a criminal and scum bag ... in fact I saw more angles in the pit of despair than I ever did in those mighty churches or christian related affairs.

So what of the warm little fuzzy feelings as a child - was it Jesus or just some kind of white light? Tis a riddle all the same - once proposes an eternal hell based on a fear driven system; so it's easy which one to be rid of there - None the less, for anyone that knows what a life of religious imprinting is like - it indeed can take a life time to unlearn .... whats next ... I still propose that I need something to believe in, as this world has absolutely nothing to offer whatever! I'm not exactly chuffed with anything recently on the Net - in fact, a lot of that shit can also screw one up ...........

The thing I do like about self - is the fact that whether it is us as God - experiencing the world in a body with us being that being - the observer to which requires much personal inward attention to which this world is NOT - the thing I like is how is feels good enough - content like - to simply be free of the pain of life itself - its not a high or any really kind of emotion that is sold, preached or coached - its just a feeling of contentedness. I'd like to reach the end of my life in such a state and go out like that. One step at a time ... no doubt. I'm finding refuge in things like mindfulness and awareness with nature and acceptance in learning to live out what I must under whatever conditions ...

I have not since discovered any type of alternative to replace that lost Jesus - but I do know if that is real and floating about, how very sad and disappointed he would be, with how so many have abused and misused the concepts of his teachings - I'm going with just my inner self and looking forward to making contact with that - having a relationship with that in much the same way others would claim they have with their God.

OK ... that's today's ramble and typing practice ---- not sure about edits.

That's my Peace out ...

Ponder

02-11-2014, 05:36 AM

You are most welcome frankie, one is glad to be of service. "Bicentennial Man" :}
Hope all is as can be. TY.

Dahila

02-11-2014, 07:53 AM

Considering that we are made similar to God and have all the goodies inside, we are gods somehow. WE are perfect the way we are because we are look like him/her/it.......The heaven is inside us, because we are a part of it. it is around us above, and below ....
Your story or stories, are giving me a picture of life full of dissapontement and betterness, this kind of life brings.... My story is not even close, but I had my portion of abuse and loneliness. Small children exposed to cruelty never recover...My religious career was very short. I had never personal Relationship with Jezus. Nor will I have..To much knowledge and too many books maybe.....I had a friend a priest and we really had a long discussion with him, through the years. The guy is really postive, his organization to help drug addicts developed with help of people like me, still is working, and he is still in it. Believe me 30 years ago no Christian church wanted to do anything with drug addicts. They were and still are in denial, this is why the changes are needed, I do not care about it, anymore.

The moment you realize that you will have to be alone, because there is nothing to believe is tough. It is years in despair before you understand that it is inside you, and around you, you breathe it in and out....:))

NixonRulz

02-11-2014, 08:41 AM

Considering that we are made similar to God and have all the goodies inside, we are gods somehow. WE are perfect the way we are because we are look like him/her/it.......The heaven is inside us, because we are a part of it. it is around us above, and below .... Your story or stories, are giving me a picture of life full of dissapontement and betterness, this kind of life brings.... My story is not even close, but I had my portion of abuse and loneliness. Small children exposed to cruelty never recover...My religious career was very short. I had never personal Relationship with Jezus. Nor will I have..To much knowledge and too many books maybe.....I had a friend a priest and we really had a long discussion with him, through the years. The guy is really postive, his organization to help drug addicts developed with help of people like me, still is working, and he is still in it. Believe me 30 years ago no Christian church wanted to do anything with drug addicts. They were and still are in denial, this is why the changes are needed, I do not care about it, anymore. The moment you realize that you will have to be alone, because there is nothing to believe is tough. It is years in despair before you understand that it is inside you, and around you, you breathe it in and out....:))

I like this post, Dahila

Right or wrong, and only my belief, is that God created us in His likeness so he made us perfect in every way

The only thing that can ever stop us is our own mind

And we are great at putting up our own barriers

Now, with that being said, I do misunderstand when people are born with disease or other issues

That asked the question if we are all created in God's likeness

I have no answer for that

I hope I get to go up rather than down when I pass so I can ask Him

He probably knows what he is doing

Dahila

02-11-2014, 09:04 AM

GeneAllen

02-11-2014, 09:30 AM

Is believing that you don't believe, not a belief in and of itself. There's nothing to believe really, just being IS. We can say we believe in this or that and that's all

good, but beliefs change. Anything real never changes ( our likeness to whatever source, or no source). Everything else changes and well is not real as far as lasting.

It's my take on it, and yes concepts are beliefs, I'm good, I'm bad, I'm handsome, I'm ugly, good, bad, evil happy, sad anxious, weird, etc etc. All our perceptions

from you got it the mind. And that my friends is NOT our essence, it is our very real (seemingly) life experience which changes too. Life itself is apparent in all lving

things and is unstoppable. It "IS" even when we believe it is not. Sure hope that made a little sense. How can Dave inspire as he does and not be the essence

of source, universe, or spirit? He could not, therefore I conclude he simply is, not this or that, he exists, and that is true. I don't ask you believe me, as a matter of

fact I prefer you don't. Believe what you resonate with as far as words. We're really all just energy, changing daily, in this experience. The movie ends the same

ultimately, and LIFE goes on, NOT life experience, this is temporal. The kingdom of Heaven is with you! For those who look at any religion the theme is the same,

sadly men try to thwart what is the message, greed, power, and jealousy all useless tools to control and retain power. Life is not yours or mine, it's collective.

When attending Moody Bible Institute I could see the reasoning and logic break down on doctrines of men, rather intellectual masturbation only, but nonetheless,

everyone has their own way home. Home... being at peace, and no desires, no sense of lack, it is all within. True we must integrate this into the "experience" of the 3
D world and when we do we are done here. We know that and resist it, thus we have anxiety, depression, and various illness's. However pain is distinct from

suffering. Pain is a burn on your foot say OUCH, place a salve on it and let it heal, suffering is the thinking why me, what did I do? I ask myself why not me? This is not the way I always do it, but you see I get caught in the story of my experience too. That is why I am here, to relate my experience and to hopefully share things that do and don't work. And the story that follows the mind feels compelled to elaborate on. Peace

Dahila

02-11-2014, 09:43 AM

Gene you rock:))) nice post....

GeneAllen

02-11-2014, 10:02 AM

It's a collective effort dahlia, and I thank you for the compliment dear one. Yes we could not never, ever, recognize beauty if all was pretty to us, we need contrast to tell what we prefer and that which we don't. We could not see anything unless it could co-exist in our mind at some level or spirit, not that they are any way the same, but interdependent on one another in the "experience only". In truth all is neutral until we assign a name to them, this is the neo cortex working, logic and reason, the limbic emotional and intuitive (female mainly). We are ALL female for 6-8 weeks, then a rush of testosterone rushes in killing cells that link men to the limbic (emotion/intuitive) brain and men lean more toward logic, not better just different, and of course genetics can do this to various degrees. If men did not have the woman, they would have limited abilities to function. Then when we get hyper we go into the old brain (lizard) brain and the flight or fight thingy. We are amazing intellectual beings, but we can't even imagine the wonder and beauty we hold yet, we can get a glimpse and some ascended masters operate more in that theta frequency where life happens and they watch, and don't interfere. Peace y'all :D

Dahila

02-11-2014, 11:07 AM

NixonRulz

02-11-2014, 11:14 AM

Nixon thank you, you are much more articulate than I ever will be. You must realize that my last sentence was not about god, only if you believe what I believe, my post was not about God or Christianity, because I am not believer.

I know you aren't a believer

What you wrote in the first few sentences just hit me the way I believe

Because you aren't a believer I thought it was kinda cool that you somehow managed to touch on my beliefs

Whether people believe or not, if there is a God, we all wind up in the same great place

Dahila

02-11-2014, 11:17 AM

Exactly, thank you Nixon,,, ,,,,,,thanks to some resistance in people we still have some posts , readable post:)))

GeneAllen

02-11-2014, 11:45 AM

Gene what you are saying is " We complete each other" Yes I agree,
I agree to disagree on some of your believes, but it will not, should not influence our friendliness toward each other;)) It would be boring if were the same;)
Your posts are so peaceful, thank you:)

Words are so limited. Here is what I meant. We are not separate, and then we can think of the waves in the vast ocean. Each wave does not say to other waves "see I am not you", I am a different wave. Waves are water, and water is energy. However the ocean as a whole we could compare to the WHOLE of source, beingness, God, or whatever we like. Yes we do get to thinking we are this and we are that to distinguish ourselves from one another. I am bald, I am Gene, I am Black, I am brown, I am skinny and on and on and on. But before those "names" "I am" PERIOD, as are you, and you, and you and you. Separations are illusions, but very predominant in a world as ours, thus we have Life experience as human, but under it all IS LIFE. The OCEAN, The Whole of all that is. Normal is what we compare to (now do not mistake this for natural) thus we have tests, manuals and things created by mere men, to gauge us, we believe them too. We are being, experiencing a human body right now, and of course this will pass. The Being will not, it can't it was not born, and cannot die. It's probable to me, I have no idea if it's true, but I know it points only to what is true, as do your ideas, beliefs, concepts, but no man is 100% true, the WHOLE is truth. Here is a scenario, I get cancer, I can then create a story, Oh my I am so alone and scared (likely), and I need to spend each day thinking about this (anxiety belief), now I can choose this even if I don't feel like it), I have cancer, I have a loving family, I am going to make sure to live each day like always, allowing all my knowledge to help me learn what my body needs to live, we don't learn when anxious by the way, and when we do it's little bits. So I can choose either scenario, is it true? Do I have cancer YES. Is it true I can enjoy my life anyway? YES But it is also true I can go into a long story about all the sadness, and ideas (beliefs) and dig a deeper hole. Now I ask myself which makes me feel better? Of course I prefer the enjoy each day what come comes, and let it be. Do all I can to listen to what my body needs, or I can believe a doctor. Prognosis (nocebo effect). Thing is we are not getting out of here alive, so better to accept that, and live now, then to suffer. It helps nobody to suffer, and especially not me. I was diagnosed with cancer at 21 by the way. Peace

Cullingford

02-11-2014, 12:25 PM

Thats the one Dave! its a rowing boat ferry you can cross by boat here or drive 8 miles to get to the other side.

GeneAllen

02-11-2014, 12:30 PM

I know you aren't a believer

What you wrote in the first few sentences just hit me the way I believe

Because you aren't a believer I thought it was kinda cool that you somehow managed to touch on my beliefs

Whether people believe or not, if there is a God, we all wind up in the same great place

Awesome Nixon. I like that.

We really do think we're all talking about and believing differently, and yet words can separate us so deeply. What do we all want? To be and to have peace, and

love, and that in my limited understanding is what we truly are in essence. Just imagine using no words and seeing a mother suffering in the street where her child

lay after falling off her bicycle. No words, our inclination regardless of race, religion, sexual preference, whatever is not an issue, we help, we comfort the woman, the

child we make safe, and THAT is what I am saying. We're in essence at our root, compassionate and loving. As an officer seeing what I have seen, this became so

obvious to me, it helped me. What we label "bad" things only happen when love is frustrated, or blocked by what we "think" we lack, in truth that is nothing, but the

illusion seems so real. Peace Bro

Ponder

02-11-2014, 04:09 PM

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http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7334/12468131894_789f5920fd_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12468131894/)
Early Morning Light (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12468131894/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

GUESS WHAT - Today is my Birthday. ... just another day in the scheme of things ... passes that on ...:)

HI GUYS ... It's nice to see you guys chatting as you are. Welcome Nixon ... glad you have joined in - you made me think to be sure - and in a good way. (edit, I also need to read yours again and shake your hand) - I am sorry Gene as I will have to digest later to be fair and give the attention your post deserve.

HI Cull ---- >Waves< ------ May I ask what the distance would be if one chose to swim ... hehe ----- I loved how you just threw you response in there (or how it seem to be) that was priceless to come across your comment like that after so much deep and meaningful responses. Your really are a legend to me!
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Dahila >Hugs< ... I mean not to paint a picture with just disappointment and bitterness. I like to believe my writing extends far beyond that. (edit - meaning I much prefer it when you see my compassionate side as well Dahila and that you never said I just write sad and sorry stories - lol -the mind ticks away - I think I know what you mean. Yadda yadda Dave ... )I agree that recovery for abused children is practically a none event - or at least in the way we mortals term such a thing. That's why learning acceptance is very important to me. Learning more how to accept ass opposed to the everyday cliche of "let go"

It's why I "attempt" to write as if a small child and I'm my own audience - I'm still reactive, I know that. Most of my photo's depict a deep sense of peace in whats is and I use my past to see into that. The bitterness comes in dealing with how my mind reacts, I was not bitter on the side of the road, I was too busy being present. It's more when I run and chase, as if seeking out or filling a gap/hole - that I begin to well with bitterness. That is true. I still rage when reacting to all that lack of space in my mind. Emptying is very hard for me, when exposed to this worlds way of living and being.

Your dead right about the drug addict thing - I once came across what looked like a monastery - a church house that appeared as if someone lived in it. I use to just drink from whatever taps, but I was quite hungry. I read the plaque on the front door and it felt warm, so I knock and then knock again. The reception was cold and I had to actually raise the point inscribed on his door. I was given one orange and sent on my way.

The bitterness in that representative, was far more toxic than what was in me. The capacity that for compassion that comes form suffering is all expanding, and that is the story of Jesus Christ. That's what matters to me. The more I think about it, the more I think I have been blessed. I do my best to mix a little from all beliefs that genuinely do help others as without expectation and or obligation.

A new sense of rage does come, when I think of those self made righteous ones, that dare to pass their destructive wake off, as more a choice to those effected / suffering beings - rather than accepting such consequence of their selfish Ego's is adding to the worlds pain. It goes both ways - Justifying suffering is yet another element of resistance which reeks within such a world wide "religions" sold as else. none the less ... the only thing I myself felt when given that orange with such judgement, was how sweet and juicy it really was - probably the best God Damn Orange I have ever had. -> Not everything in this world be sweet and that's ok - but the sickness this world be in, is very much real, as too, our resistance by way of analysing everything we say. I know not of this great place to which we all end up - but welcome the sentiment at any rate. :)

To your last comment if I may add - >Hugs< ... Finding space in such a cramped world, with Loud Controlling & Imposing Noises is on par with the pain I felt with rejection, way back then. Stigma is more widely spread and not so personal in nature, all be it damaging on a wider scale. My suffering in many ways has helped me see just how corrupt and evil the word Civilization really is- I see many lesson from the Bible still very much applicable ... the deception in people and those standards to this they live is something I can see straight though. Tis a devils playground out there - wolves chatting and typing in sheep clothing -

Again - I aim to unlock compassion - that bitterness of which you rightly or wrongly say resides in me - is more likely the bitterness of others, that "wake" in which the self made righteous create for theirs comfort sake. (no bitterness as I say that - just a fact for me to which I'm thankful to see) It's a recycling thing that takes quite some lesson to learn how to manage & see. I mean not to pass it on. It happens to most of us as we read of others, we wonder what it is that they mean, then our own well begins. Most of the time I suffered I was more present than anything else ... the bitterness came much latter, when I had kids and settled down.

But that is another story another lesson no doubt ...

PS ---- I don't really know ---- maybe I am kidding myself ........ I know I would like to be friends and not piss others off with my twisted perceptions as they might appear - although meaningful still all the same to me. Peace and all that - we would do well to have at least, some friends. PPS -> I like what you said about resistance too Dahila ... intrigues me in my own perplexed way ...
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Forgive my long winded replies yet again Dahila - You are my main stay here. - you say much more in little words than you give yourself credit for. I like to believe I am one of few that sees more than others in your words. But then I take great honer in the fact that they are mostly meant for me. Well when in here, I like to think. :)

Edit again ... Hey Dahila ... Mum used to say it was like a generational curse - what the Jews did to Jesus and all that ... That's a pretty messed up belief would you not say?

Ponder

02-11-2014, 04:40 PM

Thanks Frankie ... You just made me smile ... I'm good with that. :) My fire is starting to burn a little brighter ... it's all good. A big thanks to you for touching base as you do. I got my kitchen cleaned yesterday and a few things lined up again as well. It feels good to look in there and see it less cluttered. I might do a little more to get away this afternoon in my hammock - :) Thanks again Frankie.

Ponder

02-11-2014, 05:09 PM

OK Gene ... & Nixon too :) ... both of you ... Thankyou. I have taken the time to read - again-

I'm not sure I can really go on other than what I have already said. I am most thankful to hear and read what you guys have also said. Like dahila, I too have to agree to disagree or how best Dahila said that. I did resonate with the term intellectual masturbation ... LOL @ that one ... All the same, I get most of what you say Gene and am intrigued - it's why I have watched more of your videos - I don't know what to believe most times other than what my heart tells me. It seems to give me a good feeling about yourself and many others in here at any rate. I am happy to accepts all the good intentions we have to offer each other and again thank both you guys for feeding back as you have done.

Again Gene - I am drawn to much of what you say - despite my resistance of the terms and or words that have hurt me before ... You seem to outshine that in the way you speak which is great for those like me.

Cheers Brother.

GeneAllen

02-11-2014, 07:22 PM

You're the soldier. Happy Birthday Dave. I admire your strength. What a beautiful person, truly. Another one! Don't take what I say to seriously sometimes I think I know something. LOL Now that would be a fluke. Well I do know for me, but never for another sir. I also betcha I will change my mind on these concepts beliefs words from time to time as well. Enjoy whatever pops up, follow your passion, and you appear to be in it as you do the writing and photography very well. I feel it deeply. Seems others agree, there's something about it all. I guess it's the one looking thru the lenses, the one at the keyboard, what else could it be?

Peace brother

Dahila

02-11-2014, 08:44 PM

Dave may the day bring you peace and happiness, maybe a spectacular sunset:))) all the best...

May my post be yours only David:) I wish you to keep in touch with us and inspire us:)

Ponder

02-11-2014, 11:40 PM

TY Gene :) ... / ... Wow - I can see that sunset just as you say it Dahila -I don't know about you guys, but I saw a real beauty the other week, but no camera at that time. Today I found yet another spot but only took my close up lens. Snapped about for quite a while and only selected one - for fun. Was more pleased to find yet another spot. I'll just share that one for today and leave it at that. :)

A special hello to my friend who send me a good message about happiness and some really really funny Buddhist jokes ... that's still cracking me up. You know who you are ... THANK YOU :)

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7426/12473650485_8bba78a05e_z.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12473650485/)
Todays Outdoor Shot (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12473650485/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

PS Gene ... my internet speed has picked up after our phone lines were attended to - This pleases me because I can better watch youtube again ... Have you any vids ones on the way or you just done one? - I do hope you keep putting them out there as your able. I might even do a video response when I am more confident. :}

Cullingford

02-12-2014, 12:08 PM

Happy birthday Dave. Yeah sorry for jumping into the middle of your deep discussion with a totally unrelated topic, I did'nt have anything clever to say so I jumped in and kicked mud all over the meaningful stuff :D. Hope you have had a really good day I have something here you might like, call it a late birthday present! send me your address somehow?and I can post it to you.
Cully

GeneAllen

02-12-2014, 01:04 PM

Hey Buddy,

Yes I have some set aside but like you, lack confidence lately to release. I just got back from the mountain and will give an update. Lots of new stuff in my life I

don't reveal here as of yet. However you'll be first in on the loop. We are getting a snowstorm it just began as I was on the mountain. PAX they call it, maybe K

pax? LOL Also been giving a bit of counseling to a woman in UK. I won't go into details here, it would help no one.

Thanks Dave Bro. Peace Oh and awesome photo again. YEAH!:D

Ponder

02-12-2014, 04:33 PM

Hi Cull, how are you, hope all is well. I was pleased how you sung out like you did and enjoyed the mud very much! Was much needed and refreshing too. I had a good day thank you and that's quite an offer to which I am really taken back. I guess saying that you don't have to is quite obvious and now I am intrigued. Again, very kind of you --- I sent you a message do let me know if you get it, tried calling out in chat to discuss, but not having much luck with that.

Hey Gene, did you get my PM as well? I replied in Youtube and don't think it was the best place with so much text. I know yo must be busy with others like you say - I was wondering if you would consider making a Title somewhere on the forum to the effects of Genes Youtube Channel comments in here???? Or are are thinking that might be too much conflict and Resistance for many - as I have to admit, my reply was quite a struggle/resistant/reactive and all that, however I feel very drawn to many of the elements to which you discuss and want to feedback - even if no reply ... but I do not want to trigger others, so maybe that's a consideration why not to relate comments here ? I don't know --- the youtube comments box only has so many characters and that limits my ability to reply as with stuff like this, I need space. :)

If you could just let me know if you got my PM, as I am a little angst about that and it's content. In your own time of course.

Thanks Brother.
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Dahila - you mentioned recently just how damn Cold it is over there .... I hope very much your bones are feeling a little better since that revelation. Also hope work has you in a good place as well - that the time (rolls eyes on such a thought - Time that is) is more seamless than anything else. Hows the loved ones by the way ... all good as can be? ... and lets not forget all the home cooking you do as well. I know things must be cruising along with the home made soaps :)

My plans for the day are to finish the floors - Maybe - just maybe build another bookshelf. I think I will continue to practice my photography / meditation and share what I can with that. Which made me think of your comment Gene - to the effect "we are here to share the light" :) I like that ...

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Just so much on my mind now - after listing to the talk on ISNESS Gene ... good word that - Observing the observer, that too! Kind of sound a little more than catching the thoughts, but I think it's the same? Like when I'm opening up to some thought walking down the road with nothing much on my mind other than "some appreciation for the day or even a little insight that makes a bulb come to life that gives me for me a rare smile" then all of a sudden I step outside the thoughts to wonder where such a deep and genuine contented thought just came from and MAN oh Man - why can't I just keep thinking and accepting like that - We did that come from!

A little different from the breathing in bed where one listens to everything going on in and around oneself - I have at times caught myself thinking, but that is only the first step to the profound effect of going from that to almost catching of a glimpse, to what feels like a silhouette. That's when I first observed another observer ... I have become reasonably practiced at taking in nature when I walk off track in the thick of things - but SO Strong are all the racing thoughts caught up in time, that it takes me quite a while to unload and appreciate the timeless existence that emanates from all those living things, not part of mans system.

First I might simply just look where I am walking and listen very careful for the presence of snakes - more so for the practicality of not surprising one and getting bitten as I put myself in such a position - I guess it would be no different to those that walk the forest with dangerous wild animals - honing my fear more into something of respect, rather than walking in constant fear. That my awareness of surrounding is not limited by fear. It takes practice with different times of the year being more challenging than others as the element of risk goes up, however it's just one of many points to the practice of taking more in ...

Peripheral vision increases as I become more grounded and aware - getting past all that fear, and in some respect letting go of a false sense of loneliness that comes when whilst at times, only a hundred meters of so from the track - the serenity that comes from being cut of from concrete and bricks, quickly expands and overwhelms when all that surrounds is just mother nature herself. For many it is to much too quick - the thoughts go Tick - Tick - Tick ... I see this more when others come along ... it's just the process of the mind with no escape as it looks for it's usual distraction, no longer present. To be fair, I do take various devices, but much much less than I used too as I become more attuned to simply sitting and being as is my indented purpose of such trips.

Forgive me - off track ---- so the thoughts eventually at some stage have to focus on the rocks, twigs, branches, trees and many other things in order to get the body from one spot to the other - when I have had enough of that, I pull out my chair as what works best for me - sit down, lean back and stop looking and searching but instead, now I take time to feel the blood rush to relieve the tension as if like some kind progressive muscle relaxation meditation all in one from head to toes ... whilst tired from physical expenditure, the reward is an exhilaration that far surpasses any type of sensual pleasures so commonly sold; best thing about it - is its FREE. All those thoughts of what's going on back at home, the bricks and motor, what time is it - now all gone!

Now totally alone with myself, no longer pushing to get from here to there, now feeling the wind contact my sweat , smelling the enriched soil, scented leaves synergised in the air - my sinuses no longer clogged, now able to taste the the forest as I breath - THEN a shift from the images of light that project the forest to something more of thoughts wrapped in an expanse that allows for such to come back to my mind - but at a much more manageable pace - the clarity to which so many attribute to meditation from focused awareness - Tis the effect that mother nature brings - keeping one energized through the process of kicking back, so that mindless thought gives way to pure presence. (nill distractions)

No doubt I get lost, just placing myself back in that spot, kicked back in my chair ... how does that point come when all of a sudden I go from seeing the silhouette that stands off to the side looking on as if my more objective self? Who is that? ... to no longer just looking at that other but to actually transferring into that position! That's the trip!!!!!!! That's the total of being in my book -

Whatever works I guess - I'm a little more into the deeper side, other than just using mindfulness to get by in a busy life. I pick up from those speakers how they say "no need to go to the woods ..." which often brings a laugh from whatever audiences and cliches ... that to me, kind of shows that we are indeed not all in the same place - but to be sure - in death we shall all eventually all be - EDIT -> however to that place many of us profess, of where we think we go regardless of what one believes, that is more speculative and something I think is best left unsaid, lest it appear to others, that we think to know more than we mean ... that kind or prophesying ... well it's just that ... what matters to me ... is getting a feel for where I am at. less speculation on where one goes, but be more in tune where one is at. ......... none of us can truly say - where it is we all end up, until each of us finds oneself in that spot. Until then - I'm not really interested other than where I be right now, in this spot. Otherwise it smells like right and wrong to me ... no offense.

Whatever works for you - This is so far my trip and thus far my spot - my escape to free myself from the influence that man works so hard at to control his breed. I'm all for observing the observer, in as much as transferring in that position to experience the clarity that such brings and also with the intend that it last for a longer time -> so that I can remain in this time based world, whilst yet living timelessly. That's my plan for now.

My ramble for the day. ...
Peace.

GeneAllen

02-13-2014, 11:23 AM

Hey Dave,
I hope you got that PM. I did reply. Let me know if it's working? I am sure my inbox is empty? Be well friend. Yes Dave I am considering a youtube a week for this forum alone. I do not want to interfere with others at all, so I'm giving it some room and seeing if others might enjoy something like that. You're reading my mind dude! LOL
Peace

Cullingford

02-13-2014, 02:40 PM

Good evening all, Gene I had the pleasure of watching one of your films on you tube last night!. You have obviously spent many long hours finding your way through all this stuff, I am very much looking forward to watching some more.

Dave reading your earlier post about missing shooting the sunset, as I was driving home from work the sun was going down over the marshes. The light and the golden reflection from the reeds was awsome, I cursed myself as I had no camera!. I think I will have to carry a camera with me at all times its so frustrating to miss those magic moments.

Hi Dahila I hope you doing ok with all that horrible cold weather, It must feel like winter is never going to end for you!. How incredibly creative you lot are
keep up the good work, just reading about all your endeavours is very uplifting.

Cully

Ponder

02-13-2014, 03:10 PM

Yes Gene - PM all now good. It's good to touch base that way, from time to time - helps some of us keep on track with our way of thinking and understanding. Thank you very much for that. In fact I would like to say thank you to others who have also reached out via this method. Each of you have contributed to me feeling a little ---hmm --- perhaps not so meaningful to others, but I will say, kind of more spiritually open and less reactive. Too me that is a good thing at any rate :) I hope others can find some encouragement and also a little gratitude in that as I wish the same of others no matter how they think or be. In other terms, I could simply say, more hopeful and at ease that the path I am currently on is where I am meant to be and I'm learning to be more thankful for that and also to those others in here and the lives/journeys they too walk and share.
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PS Gene, that sounds like a plan - I for one would practice being more mindful of others in that. I have pretty much just been sticking with this and other threads, were I try to be more help than otherwise be less of. Meaning to say I would only hope that others would take the opportunity to talk discuss such topics based on hope and if anything else, a place in which to talk about our deeper side without the stigma of religion. (Does that make sense?) Of course I really can't speak for yourself on this - I'm just trying to explain what you inventive like talks mean to me and also how much on a personal levee I am getting from them.

Work shops and life coaching online if full of so much - "but wait there is more" - if you get my drift. Even well meaning you-tubers seem to fall prey to advertising and then fully blown websites with pay-pall accounts. I really love coming across small groups who have nothing other there own lessons, insights, learning's, or whatever the intent may be to others - Genuine to be sure in a way that comes %100 free ... very rare ... Its very very encouraging to me. You strike me as a guy that is happy to make such efforts even if it only helps one other individual - well that is how I feel when I watch your vids ... not just meaning "as if the words were meant for me" type of thing ... but really meaning I can feel you have purpose without the hype I am so accustomed to and or triggering my minds ego to make excuses - You have talent with bringing up all the warnings about words - and ego itself at just the right moments as if you know when what your saying is going to be hard to swallow, yet it still has to be said a certain way.

You once told me, that your able to find compassion in my words as I try to say this or that - well - it really shows to me how you also do much the same - ... That's the kind of reaching out more of us would do well to learn. I would think that to be the number one benefit for anyone engaging in such a thread relating to what I think of your topics to mean. I can't really find that place in which to relax, let my guard down and talk on such things other than having come across yourself - The spiritual forum that I am used too gets complicated with too many abbreviations and quite fiery at times ... the ability to leave religion out of it or even mark it as a point to avoid is null and void in such places ... they often hide behind such word and give spirituality triple meanings ...

Anyways - would be good to see a thread were we can just talk about Being, Mindfulness, Awareness, Inner-self, Meditation, -> those kind of things that do in some way touch on the deeper meaning and purpose or whatever to life - yet without all the debate on right or wrongt - Surely that would have to be something of an attraction ... Yes the G word is hard to cop for some - Hell look at me - I triggered quite excessively when I first met you, that is to say react to the mention of God, yet now look at me - I am all for soaking up what you wish to say, as well as your generosity to let me join in and speak. It's a hard one for others I guess ... but yet so much to learn of our self and deal with what has past and what is to come in just being without the worry to what in fact never comes.

You know --- this stuff is being used world wide in treating many mentally ill people. It is kept more clinical in nature with nature and spirit itself more filtered out - and I would say with good reason to the extent that religion has tainted much of that (just my opinion is all) - but so effective is the act of focused attention to calm the sea of today's multitasking over active thoughts that it's the essence of teachings from thousands of year ago, now being drawn from and reinterpreted to counteract the negative aspects of what - many of us would otherwise believe; is our superior intellect evolution. Forgive the terms I use as - not meaning to put done intellect - again my limited words.

Just saying how that in some way - is like a universal things. No mystical - or guru - labels attached when in such therapy at the hospitals, Rehabs and or Goals - For good reason do doubt as I tried to explain. I finish quickly with one other point. Some very gifted people in their faiths that want to share as they believe is their purpose - are specialized like in teaching by delivering a message with stories that relate to the here and now or anthers past to which they cling ... in such a way that is devoid of words that hurt - devoid of motive - and all other trigger like things -

That's a positive aspect to taking something thousands of years old and reinventing it - I sometimes get pissed with when others try to profit from it, and that's when I start ranting about "westernizing" to me that is the same as above paragraph but with the profiteering - that leads to more words in my head - abundance - prosperous - and even Bliss and Joyous but not for the dictionary definition, but more so to the tainted way we westerners device through are selling/sales --------- that's all I mean ... Of course we can be happy, joyous and prosperous and many other things ... I'm just peeling and looking into the layers is all .......

Being, Mindfulness, Awareness, Inner-self, Meditation and all that jazz - is awesome stuff to learn about and a great option for many of us not wanting to rely solely on other techniques (meaning - yes of-course, I may still need pills and am prepared to go back on if need be) - I find this learning/way of living, wholesome in as much as learning and finding motivation to eat the right foods and say the right things.

Edit ... Reality is, that whilst seemingly appearing switched on at times in here - I very much fall apart when out about round others. But please don't be put off with that revelation - I'm just being honest. learning about these concepts is not a wonder drug - but it does help me go out and drive to wherever as I must. In fact I have to do that today. Here's to that trip ... Cheers ...

Again Gene - I won't rave on like so in other threads - I'll try to be more concise and as compassionate as I can be - don't let my various drive settings put you off. :)

I just work on one photo a day as well if I can. Thanks for to those of you that lend you ears and again, thank you for being so kind to me.

Dave.

Ponder

02-13-2014, 03:10 PM

Reading cull ... only just saw your response ... brb if you online ...

Absolutely Cull --- I think I will keep my wife's compact in the car, however the hot sun here can damage the sensors and other parts. I'm thinking more a very small bag - I usually take water so may put together a small kit with water, book and camera. Really - all that jaz about professional equipment making the picture is nothing compared to the subject itself. Seeing the sun go down with it's magic on display (not everyday like) is truly an inspiration to share. Clouds really set the scene with sunsets like that as too being able to capture the sun as a ball of fire ... Having one on hand is also a great way to just let any moment come.

Glad for your reply - its a really good point in my mind. Hope you have a great day Cull ... :)

Dahila

02-13-2014, 07:21 PM

I will start to listen GenneAllen youtube videos, and Ponder, you started the serious healing;)) I am happy, to read your last post. I agree we need the place or the thread tolerant and for everyone,

Culli I tell you a secret: I love winter, I hate winter driving:))) Thank you for thinking of me.

Dave this is very optimistic and happy post of yours:))

Ponder

02-14-2014, 02:46 AM

Well Cully has inspired me also :) ... I took my wife's bargain bin compact camera out with me today ... I was a little slow getting out the door after mucking about with the charging cable. I threw my the camera in my town bag and helped my wife down the ramp into the car. It was another trip to the hospital but with good results as the new cast they have now put on my wife's leg, has given her much relief, which in turn relives me. (Big Time, for both our sakes ... lol ) I held it together not too bad today ... On the way home at the traffic lights I quickly pulled out the camera to which I setup earlier and took some snaps. "What are you doing?" my wife queries me as I compose each shot one handed with gears and clutch at the ready. "Just taking a few quick snaps" LOL ...

Whilst I was running about town for my wife, as she waited some in the hospital, I could not think of much to shoot. I know for those that live in town - much would come to mind - best I could do was Illustrate the 3:15PM Traffic Conditions ... I went one further by dong the Photoshop thing - I believe you said you like Art Dahila - I wonder do you like this picture I threw together? It is no doubt BUSY, with perhaps a little cheesiness on the road sign. This is not polished, but it's something I like to do as well as just take photos. I got some spelling wrong - but not to worry ... I wish I could find some good use for such talents. The eagle could do with more blending as to the log ... but for self expression ... its a fair go. Healing like you say Dahila ... another share at any rate.

- For me, I think the Moon helps give it a sense of peace, as too the waves albeit a little rough by some standards ...This to me is grounded, given the situation it is in. - It's pretty much how I felt dealing with the traffic on the way home - a little restless but hopeful - another 25 minutes down the coast on the open road, then I'll be home. :)

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7358/12520231754_59c36bc491_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12520231754/)
Stuck In Traffic (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12520231754/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

I have combined three of my own photos here and painted the rest in from Google Images ... (some of them you may recognize Dahila. The Wave from "Splash" mix with another. :) ) I hope you found this one interesting?

I ended up taking the Eagle and Log out of the Picture and weighted the smaller props such as the birds and a strip of fine grey cloud ... and brought the moon in closer. LOL ... Possibly now Too Grey for some - But I like Love Stormy whether for some reason. Less distracting and more IMPACT now. I best go to bed ... I threw in a little Rain Effect to liven things up and give reason to the birds taking flight.... (also flip the scene horizontally)The only thing missing now, is a window wiper and possibly a Bible Verse from Revelations ... Just kidding ... Smiles ... I've gone from sitting in 3Oclock traffic to what looks like a scene in some doomsday movie ... Night All ... Part Two can be about a new beginning ... :}

Cull - I attach the original photo: ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Dahila

02-14-2014, 09:00 AM

Well, well it is busy. Feels very dangerous, like no place for the humanity....It is the way the world is going. Dave is that prophetic? I hope I use the right word.... No doubts is better on the Photoshopped picture. The traffic is boring. I just wonder how it would look without the cars.....Just nature and the lights, rain is awesome in this, when I look at it I feel so lonely and not important at all. I like it:)
I love art and I finished Fine art school in Poland, and I was working as an artist, which stopped in Canada, I was placed in the humble position like all newcomers must go through, but that's another story not good for this thread. I wonder what else can you do with the pic..
Can you make one that the sky and the ocean is connecting, in one?

GeneAllen

02-14-2014, 01:21 PM

I enjoy the way you did that mixing of photos. I have no idea how you do it, but you made it look amazing, ominous too. Thank you. I am sorry to hear the wife has been going through such pain. I hear a tone in your type (voice), it's a nice sound Dave. I surely appreciate this thread, and the insights I get from reading it.

Much Peace Aussie Bro:D

Cullingford

02-14-2014, 01:55 PM

Wow Dave I don't have the slightest clue how you could do something like that very clever! its like everyone trying escape a cataclysmic disaster. I quite often think how useful it would be to remove certain things from a picture. Take a lovely row of old cottages and the each one has a wheely bin and a sattelite dish! if I could remove this stuff it would be such a bonus. I may have to pick your brains on this subject another time .

The weather here is really bad! I got bloody soaked today the wind is howling outside again, I need some some sun for for my joints all this cold and damp does you no good at all. I am glad you took the camera out with you today, I was lucky enough one day I just happened to have a camera with me
and 2 badgers came past me they are a rare sight here at night never in the day. I got a couple of snaps in quick or no one would have believed me.1047.

Have a good day Cully

Dorrie23

02-14-2014, 04:23 PM

Dave, that is so cool. As I mentioned earlier, I admire your work tremedously, and I'm very glad we talked, forgave each other, and all is good now. You truly are and inspiration. We love your work. I'm just in awe over it. I hope you and your wife had a great time. Seems so. I hope the rest of your weekend is great too. Keep smiling, friend. Take care, Dorrie. Again...wow!! Hard to find words. its truly awesome.

Ponder

02-14-2014, 05:30 PM

I thougt I remember you saying somthing like that Dahila, which explains more now, why I get so much inspiration from you. I'm not really sure how I ended up with the above outcome. Just how it all came togeather with those pictures i recently took and how I felt when picking up other props from the net. Was good practice and I really apreciate your response emensly and came up with the following ...

I really like to combine a little poetry as I learn it with picture are as well.

TY Gene for helping me see just how helpful to sharing the light can be. Also I got some good "direction" (it helps my tone which made my last poem a little easier and fun to write) from your second last vid and about to make a mid morning coffee and watch your most recent short clip. :}

LOL CULL ... hehe ... I've never really seen those critters before - thanks for sharing and please do keep doing so! What you said about taking out the satellite dishes and bins is quite an element to this kind of art ... very interesting to here you say it like that. I find it very therapeutic. Started with paint shop pro back in the 90's ... well paint before that with windows 95 ... and I could go as far as to say I was intrigued with the apple computers with making lines with .s and -s ... LOL - Now I just use photo shop CS5 and use YouTube tutorials to get an idea and go from there. I do hope the weather clears up real soon for you and your joints + also hope can get some quality time to yourself. You too have a good day bro and thanks for your kind words.

Hi Dorie ... Me too! Feel very much the same here. Like we don't even really know each other, yet such is the strong effect of the words we all choose and then some how we respect that in the end. You were the one that really took the big step and I for one am hugely thankful for that. I will try not to get on a high, but have to admit, I am feeling more creative in the healing aspects to which Dahila speaks of and its very much real - so it is that I am rather thankful to all you guys for popping in as your able.

I've kind of gone from crying out - to being more the change in which Gene speaks ... I try to be receptive as I can be, and I think we all often misunderstand not only others but many times also ourselves. I don't know ... but I too am very much pleased that we are now friends. You have taught me much in so little time. :)

Thanks again guys ... I will ask more question of yourselves and try not to be so self absorbed, for now I just ride a little with sharing the light as I am able to bask a little now - in between helping out around the house. Must Go and so some of that now ...

This is my latest creation Dahila ... (learning to polish my blends a little more as to my poems :} )

Take care guys - PS Thanks again for the direction everyone.

https://v4s.yimg.com/sj/2825/12529487975_3a40ac974d_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12529487975/)
A boat load of oppurtunity (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12529487975/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Dahila

02-14-2014, 05:45 PM

Excellent, as soon as I get home it goes on my desktop. :)) It is beautiful Dave and so deep. Such harmony, this was what I had in mind to connect the three points sand, water , and sky, air connect by itself. I love it, I love it.

Culli I had never see the criters either.... you need my salve for painful joints :)

Cullingford

02-14-2014, 11:44 PM

Yeah Dahila that salve sounds good and perhaps a couple of hours in Daves hammock soaking up some of that sunshine! :). Never know I might get to see a kookaburra while im there.

Ponder

02-15-2014, 12:09 AM

I saw something on the news (wife watching) about a 100 car pile up on ice on the other side of the world. If I could pass on some Sun I would Cull ... Have you tried sleeping in a camp Hammock Cull?

I can sleep flat enough that when accustomed to each separate hang I do, (takes a little practice to fine tune from different trees) that I can sleep on my side if I wish. As a sufferer of reflux and esophagitis ... I get far more relief sleeping in my hammock than next to my wife (srry darl - did not come out right hehehe - She is a good duck you know LOL - The Old Joke are a coming now) hmmm ... Yea, the Hammock - Honestly its fantastic - I need to find some kind of hammock stand to suit mine. You don't have to be a feather weight neither to enjoy hammocking - best thing for some of us Heavies. In hot weather you get the breeze on your back (with the right hammock material) and in winter I have a special light weight sleep system on the ready. Also, its so easy to set up, I take it like a second chair and will just do a quick hang to lounge about before moving on.

Too get a tent weighing less with no where the same comfort factor costs quite some more - I recommend Hennessy Hammocks although my only one I have use do far - I have field tested many times in harsh climate and conditions - Thumbs Up for both light and heavy weighted peoples.

I just saw your comment at Flikr Dahila --- I comment a little more after these pics:

I'm laying quite flat here and feeling the breeze - in winter with the right pads, its also easy to keep reasonably warm. Guys in the US doing SUB zero camp outs in these same hammock on Youtube.

https://v4s.yimg.com/sm/5538/12430152074_b468f68b4e_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12430152074/)
Hennessy Hammock Asymmetrical Flat Lay (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12430152074/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

In the above pick I am laying sideways with my feet several inches to one side and my head several on the other. This also opens up the hammock to give it a very good point of view to enjoy the scenery as well as provide plenty of space to move your arms abouts. I am so accustomed that even with weak stomach muscles that I can sit up and mover around fairly free. Being a hammock veteran now, I could get changed in my hammock, but given I'm rarely in company I really just enjoy the freedom of being me with the trees. LOL hahaha ... Shhhhh what was that ...???

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3713/12429666455_14a4e96c7c_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12429666455/)
point of view (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12429666455/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Actually here I am having a read (not the most riveting page, however not a bad sci-fi involving a race of mystics that need to shield their bodies from the build up of too much - static electricity) Back to the Hammock - I will often hang a seven inch tablet and have done with a smart phone from the ridge line above and watch anything from downloaded youtube vids to block buster movies in more comfort than I could even in my own home! Not that I go out to relax and soley watch movies - LOL - but I do admit, often I have watch a lot of old episodes of Star Trek in my hammock retreats.
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7384/12430147894_d546493d9d_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12430147894/)
Reading some sci-fi in my hammock (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12430147894/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Mine is a deluxe model being for larger people and I guess not being so tall myself just adds to the comfort of the lay I'm able to achieve. I did by a book all about setting up a hammock with safety in mind plus the focus on getting a perfect lay that fits oneself. Note the tree hugers I use to protect the bark and it also makes setting up a breeze. Also youtube vids on tieing very simple knots ... Actually you can't see the hugers in this shot, but notice how small my bag is on that tree - listed in the photo is all the things I was able to stuff in that bag. The funny thing about my ultralight lounge chair there, is even after buying it from the states, they are actually manufactured in the next town to where i live. Go Figure! My mate since finding out has bought another two. I bring the chair as well 0- simply because the hammock rolls up into nothing!

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5471/12430157774_ceafdf2af1_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12430157774/)
Day Pack (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12430157774/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Continuing post due to only being allowed so many pics ............ see below

Ponder

02-15-2014, 01:24 AM

Cont ........................

_______________________________

The only thing I have not really not gone on about is the tarp. I just use the basic one that came with mine - diamond shaped in design. I will mod it some for just another pull down tab. I think many people go overboard with all kinds of accessories - especially with hooking up to a tree. Just use the tree huggers and be kind to the trees, other than that --- it's amazing how one can meditate amongst the trees!!!!!!

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7293/12535454934_b9a24eae50_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12535454934/)
Snake Skins on a hammock (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12535454934/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

What you have to imagine here guys - above I mean ... is how easy it is to slip the snake skins over the hammock when its wrapped up still hanging from the trees. (as above) ... now -> Not pictured -> I usually have an outstretched tarp above the hammock - where the hamock neatly in the snake skin holder (pictured above) runs just under the tarp to which I will be sitting under with plenty of room kicking back in that lounge chair previously pictured above, with a cuppa on the brew. All fits into a day pack - Now when I put together my BACK PACK! Look Out! --- I could disappear for months - if only I knew what leaves and nuts to eat. lol

I tell ya what Gene - in the case you may be reading --- after my wife's leg heals enough and I get the nod to go out for a nighter or two, I will try to put together a video for you. I can then show you guys what my idea of a base camp looks like when on the move - I have little glass candle holders that look pretty cool at night - those insect replant candles as well as scented ones too.

One more thing Dahila about why sleeping in the hammocks are so good for people who have back troubles - something to do with the way the weight is disturbed - and again - some hammocks are better for it than others - asymmetrical lay is what I think is best to accommodate a wider variety of positions. Warbonnet has what they call like a foot locker that allows for similar lay, but I have not tried those one - I prefer the wider space on both ends (head and food) that is the case with the Hennessy Hammocks designs as I know them to be. Again, I can even roll onto my side, but given the awesomeness of a luxury recliner then times that by ten, I often just fall asleep as I now slip in naturally like a glove.

I stop now I add some older hammock shots if you will please ........ My friend seem to sleep more with a bent back than I do, and it can sometimes be a hot topic when I try to give my advice on that perfect hang ... LOL It is a personl thing, but like the glove statement I made - it does not take long when having purchases a good hammock for this sort of thing - I link a good book that got me off to a really great start -

OK I will spit out 4 more here then one more post to relive those moments too (in a good way that pics can bring)

This one some of you may of already seen. Me on the seat and my mate Ben content with the leaves (who allows me to post these shots on forums like this - he knows it's my thing) I miss Ben - he was my only best friends and it was our partnership that led to both of us acquiring the tools to venture off track safely and in style. We used to live closer then, some 4 years ago by now I think - we used to go offtrack about 4 times a year - now we live about 5 hours apart and I will just be happy if he can make it up for one. My wife needs me close by, so will have to think carefully on what future trips I make. - I do keep in contact on Skype and play some video games with him as well as have been sharing the same new pics as I have done with you.
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7092/7076291393_df0abf63a6_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/7076291393/)
Cuppa Time (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/7076291393/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Here is Ben completely wiped out in his hammock - On this camp I tried to explain the finer points of an asymmetrical lay - but he seems perfectly happy the way he is as pictured ... the next few pics will show that as long as there are trees, there really is no hills, rocks or much to stand in the way ....... and still get a comfy sleep!: I do prefer to get more a an angle across the hammock on my lay Dahila - Honestly - Fantastic on the Back! ...
http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8210/8216745864_b4f0bd9bf2_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/8216745864/)
Pristine sleep (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/8216745864/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

As I said, not much stop us from sleeping where we please: It's OK --- that branch was there before we were. Smiles ... (note# the tree huger I am using is now visible)
(another trip yet again taking pics, this time with iPhone under the shade. This spot is a little further up the creek than the one above, but still same area.) PS- This is messy camp - We leave NOTHING behind in most cases and if we do, I feel like crap and have picked up stuff the next time I cam back and took it out ... I don't even like snapping branches ... although guilty of that. Best to use a saw if one has too and then be knowledgeable about such impact.
http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8199/8157233219_6690322e4f_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/8157233219/)
1 Set Up (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/8157233219/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

cont ......

Ponder

02-15-2014, 01:39 AM

________________________________________________
______________
_______

I mean honestly - look at that! - I used to come back to this spot as It was just only a few minutes drive in the last place I lived ... If you look carefully in the lower part of this pick where the light is bright in the background - that is an actually walking track what people use to bring their dogs, horses, and bikes. I would walk down in the day - I think in here I made a thread called walking with the trees - I would set up my hammock just for a whick lay before heading back as I am now starting to do here off to the side of the beach.
https://ycpi-farm9.staticflickr.com/8068/8216794128_1c41077c81_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/8216794128/)

How much more encompassed can one get ...
http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8069/8230870503_b56dbf07d6_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/8230870503/)
Daves Hammock (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/8230870503/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8478/8157233551_1e20fe64f0_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/8157233551/)
Hammock View 1 (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/8157233551/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

A friend of mine says hi to Cull :} -Not far from that hanging spot above - down on the track watched me walk to my spot. When I walk slow with my camera - lots of birds follow me like that. A dry intellect might snob such a thought - however, it's an example of how my world changes when I came to be, surrounded by such nature as I am pleased for it to be like so - Here anyone can create space to believe as they wish.
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7078/6940168360_d917bceb2a_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/6940168360/)
kookaburra up close (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/6940168360/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Ponder

02-15-2014, 01:41 AM

------------------------------------------

OK OK .... one last one to say good night ............. I really enjoyed taking that trip again. Good Night All

https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8197/8218649798_b64143d0d7_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/8218649798/)
Moonlight Transition (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/8218649798/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

PS - The secrets to a good hang are in this book:
https://kindle.amazon.com/work/the-ultimate-hang-illustrated-hammock-ebook/B0063JZEAS/B00639GF4C
Well worth it.

Enduronman

02-15-2014, 08:34 AM

Dahila

02-15-2014, 08:51 AM

Incredible, will post when my grandchild goes home:) Thank you Dave they are fantastic, you just planted an idea in my head. The spot with snake skin between the trees is really powerful, very nice, I want to go there:)....

Cullingford

02-15-2014, 01:21 PM

Thanks Dave for sharing that camping trip! its great exploring new places even if its through the lens of someone elses camera. I love that picture of you and Ben you both look very contented having that cuppa, its sad you don't live closer to each other. I used to camping with my brother alot mostly up into the highlands and islands we had some great trips for very little money. We would just grab our stuff jump in the car and see where we would end up the lansdscape is wonderful up there so different from where we are from.
I love the Kookaburra it reminded a bit of the Kingfisher so I googled it only to find its the biggest Kingfisher, we have little blue kingfishers here and quite often see them when I walk up the river. Sometimes you can watch them fishing but mostly just a flash of vivid blue as they fly by.
Say hi to that friend of yours back for me its great news! if we all stand together life can only be easier.

Cully

Ponder

02-15-2014, 01:39 PM

So True Cull ... Do you live reasonably close to your Brother? Mind has always lived so far away, it's like I know my mate Ben more than I do my own brother. I wish I could be closer to him. Your Google search sounds interesting ... will also have a little read on the blue kingfisher myself :)

Ponder

02-15-2014, 01:40 PM

YW Dahila :)

Cullingford

02-15-2014, 01:50 PM

We live about 3 miles apart used to live in the same street before i moved, we are twins so were very close when we were young! we were in the same class at school and did loads of stuff together. I even worked with him for a few years.
We were born very premature I weighed 3lb 12oz the runt of the litter when we came out of hospital my dad kept us warm under the chickens heat lamp so I came out of the incubator and was brooded like a chicken. :). Must of worked im 6ft 2 15 stone lol.

Ponder

02-15-2014, 01:51 PM

Just wanted to stop in and say hello brother Dave and great photos by the way too!! (I don't get out of the Anxiety section much)...
Hope life is treating you fairly, send me a chat sometime would like to hear how things are going with you...

Chris....:)

Thanks Chris - will do, could I please get a link to your thread? I am having trouble finding it again.
TY... I enjoyed last time we spoke using chat.

Cullingford

02-15-2014, 02:10 PM

Hi Frankie good to see you are you well?

Ponder

02-15-2014, 02:52 PM

Yes - your presence is sorely missed ... please be well .

Dorrie23

02-15-2014, 02:54 PM

Dave, you make me want to buy a camera sooo bad now!! lol. Seriously. Thanks for what you said in your post earlier. We only have this one life to live, and I want the rest of mine to be good. And, it is you, who taught me, and showed me, part of having that is being good to one another, and how strong forgiveness really is, my friend. You are correct in saying that we all sometimes misunderstand each other, but you have to humble yourself sometimes, to see your wrong doings. I swear, you sound so much better the past couple of days. :) There's just more of a peaceful tone, or something. Whatever it is, it's good, not bad. Before my back got so bad, I went camping all of the time... just floating down the river. And it was beautiful where I lived. Not once did I take a camera with me, and capture any of the beauty I saw many times. Looking at your pics, makes me regret that a bit. You know the saying... "A picture says a thousand words"!! Please tell me that's right. lol. Anyway, keep getting out with your wife, and your buddy/buddies, and enjoy life as much as you can. It obviously makes a huge positive difference. Take care Dave, and I look forward to seeing more of these. As well as other too, I'm sure. D.

Ponder

02-16-2014, 02:02 AM

Cullingford

02-16-2014, 02:34 AM

Good morning all been out chasing the sunrise.10521053

Ponder

02-16-2014, 02:49 AM

WOW ... now that's what I am talking about! I love the perspective given with Jpg.1 - The close up really pulls it off well ... That really is a treat ... I know what it's like to get up and go out and catch such an event - to which looks just so sweet! The diffraction of light across those wispy clouds ... man - I just can't get enough of such events. Looks chilly as well dude ... LOL when you said you forgot hat and gloves. Loving the branches off in the horizon ... Composition in both shots a sure thing Cull!!! The lines and symmetry are quite well done. Was the close up taken about 20 paces to the right of jpg.1 cull (the wide angle shot)

Truly awesome Cull .... thanks for the treat. Now I'm kind of hanging for more. :)

Edit ... checking out the birds in number one --- looks as if they are keen for the day to begin ... "a few degrees more please" LOL ... The color and contrast in one is also superb! One also has good foreground with good depth of field via the icy bank which starts spot on a third of the way up. Sorry to critique man ... but it's all good!!!!!! Only way I know how to critique so don't worry about that ... PLEASE dude ... keep them coming, I know I said they don't have to be stunners, but now that I know you can pull off such great shots - throw a few of them into the mix as well please & TY ...

Thanks again ......... awesome cully!!!

Ponder

02-16-2014, 03:04 AM

Number one is on my desktop Cully .... Good night all .......... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Dahila

02-16-2014, 09:56 AM

cully I love the first one, it has a space and the air, it is beautiful.... you got something in the middle, not enough English to explain. The second one is good, but is kind of heavy, the branches cut into wonderful picture. Definitely I love the first one. It is like a promise :)) I love it. The energy is very peaceful. Oh gosh you guys take pics and show us, it is such a pleasure to have it started; thanks Dave.

We need the inspiration, beauty and art, it always calms down the beast in us:))

Cullingford

02-16-2014, 10:18 AM

1054

Thankyou guys for your kind comments it was good fun getting down there before daybreak, bloody cold though as I said to DaveI never took a hat or gloves. I just rushed down there 6.30am to beat the sun. I took quite a few shots! I have to think what to shoot next weekend;)

In the middle of the sun is the church tower in the next village, strange effect.

Greggs2583

02-16-2014, 03:01 PM

Dorrie23

02-16-2014, 05:42 PM

__________________________________________________ ________________________________________________

In Photography changing ones position is key - I feel there is much in the art of photography that we can use to live better lives. :}

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7336/12557923685_145d7c65b1_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12557923685/)
Change Your Position (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12557923685/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Hi Dorrie. YW. I can't promise I will always be able to maintain such a tone, however I do attribute my change in heart to much of the soul searching I have attempted in this - Raw Thread, as too without a doubt the good will of others such as yourself. I do hope this finds you sleeping a little better than the last time we had a chat. Dahila has been sending good energy as well, and today I continued on with Photoshop to learn some more so that I can continue to be creative, as that too seems to be helping me express as well. I'm just toying around for now. :)

My affinity for photography is just that! - it's been a personal relationship in its entirety and whilst words can not really capture the synergy between my most inner being and that which brews on top - I know too well, just how such creative hobbies invite the very best from within us. The more I learn about the process the more natural I feel when not in a rush. I get the feeling you would make a good photographer yourself.

Take care ...
PS ... was really happy you pleased in. :)

Thanks Dave! You'll get a laugh out of this, I think! Lol. I just got back from us taking my little boy to see the new LEGO MOVIE!!! Lol. I'm serious! You have to love you're child A LOT, to sit through a Lego movie!!! Lol. It was kind of cute, but what was the greatest is always how happy he is to get out and go watch one! The kid rents movies galore from our U-Verse account on TV. But it's not the same. Sleeping a bit better. I have my first appointment with a Neurologist Tues. after next, in Atlanta. The ball will get rolling pretty fast, I think, on all the nerve pain, that shoots pain through my back, hip, and knees, and that's what wakes me up so much, plus when he looks at the MRI's! I won't lie Dave, I am scared!! Lol. But have needed to go for a very long time, and now it's to the point I have to!! Maybe he can fix me. Ya think? Lol. Oh, I need another Dr. For that job! Lol. No hope there!! Lol. I'll always be crazy, and I'm happy that way, for the most part. Lol. Definitely makes life interesting for us crazy folks!! HA HA. Behave yourself. As If?? Lol. How about, take care, and chat with ya later on down the path, Friend. It's really awesome to call you my friend now! And, yes, I agree with you 100%, about Dee Dee (Dahila)! Very Positive and helpful indeed!! Time for a cat nap!! Dorrie

Ponder

02-16-2014, 07:42 PM

Hi Dorrie, don't tell anyone but more often than not, I ussually get a tear at some stage watching kids movies. I often keep my eye out in that genre despite the kids all being much older now. Gladt o hear your got some better sleep in and hope your doc is able to give at least some encouraging news one way of that other. I'm not sure if you told me your condition ? Sorry if so and I forgot. That kind of pain sounds a lot like my wifes - do you also have MS or something simarlar? It's good that your getting it adressed all the same. I have heard about people not going for help because they don't want to know, and of courese as a result, they end up going past that point, in which they could of been at least helped a little - with some uneccaseraly contracting something they otherwise could of avoided. (Sadly it can be more financial for some rather than denial.) Let me know how you go please.

Nice Photo yet again Cully ... interesting with the tower. I am attracted to the tree line on the right. I just love branches as they be when devoid of leaves - amazing how they can come back to life.

Allow me to share one I took at 6AM this morning my time on the other side of the planet :} The sun was up but rather obscured by a lot of cloud. Heaps of moisture blowing on in from the sea - it rained later and was a much welcome relife - I don't mind it being hot and moist ... Good for my breathing. The full moon was setting in the west and calling out for me to give it a shot -

Now I'll probably ruin this photo by being upfront as what happens when I go for job interviews. The amount of cloud and rate at which all was moving about, made timing a little bit of a miss getting things to gell - Alas ... it was time for me to use my Photoshop skills and begin to dream. LOL - Unlike yourself - I ended up cheating. It is still the same moon, facing the same way (from this POV) - I just dropped it from another shot when not covered with clouds, then tediously painted it in behind the tree at about a 1 - 5 pixel rate with losts of feathering and rar rar rar ... also messed with all the exposure and bla bla to mix it in right ---- why not add a visitor to the tree, also one I shot in a similarly tree, time but from a different dimension ... lol ....

The trick is to make it look as if it's totally real ... (had I not said anything) ... Although I am finding such editing an enjoyable art - I still like very much to avoid going overboard with the HDR stuff I have mention before - like over kills with Dynamic colors as if a high gloss animation cartoon. (everything has it's place) - I might get into that with sci-fi art yet ... will have to see, actually - next I am gong to work on Fire and Energy Balls ... hehehe ...........

This one is Desktop Size Dahila - but perhaps now that I have explained I lowed the moon and threw in a friend - perhaps it has lost it's appeal? ------------ CULL PLEASE KEEP THEM COMING :)

Desktop Download here -> http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12578616494/sizes/o/
Just click on photo for quick view:
https://v4s.yimg.com/so/7406/12578616494_e15555d0b0_b.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12578616494/)
MoonSet 6AM (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12578616494/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Dahila

02-16-2014, 08:25 PM

The picture is like a painting with excellent composition and placement. I am in love with it, it is already on my desktop and looks very good. Color is so gentle and heartwarming. Should I talk like that about the picture? This pic is alive.
You got that moment when the night did not leave yet and the day did not arrive, like between the breaths.....

Ponder

02-17-2014, 12:53 AM

Today's Tutorial was about creating a 3D POP OUT Photo affect. I do apologize if the image is a little distasteful, however my attempts to move on with my life does not include ignoring the suffering of others. So it is that I chose to highlight the following subject as an irony of sorts, based on inappropriate behavior.

Tutorial @:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfdrReMIOEM

It's all in the approach ----------------------------------------------- Stigma In Motion
http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/Inappropriate_zps93db8ae4.jpg (http://s181.photobucket.com/user/davekyn/media/Inappropriate_zps93db8ae4.jpg.html)

The article behind this photo is about how disruptive homeless people are and tends toward supporting the harsh treatment used in moving these people along. Perhaps there was some merit in that article, however I did not stick around to read it, as the images shown had a perspective that was not drawn upon in that text.

I present the trigger that escalated the to events that followed to this police officer both tasering and further beating the man into submission. That was after waking him up - I refer to the above picture.

Ponder

02-17-2014, 04:59 AM

--

Righto, a bit of light humor before I go to bed:
If you want to get serious - try the following link:
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/child-and-adolescent-mental-health/antidepressant-medications-for-children-and-adolescents-information-for-parents-and-caregivers.shtml

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/Antidepressantsforkids_zpsd970baf6.jpg (http://s181.photobucket.com/user/davekyn/media/Antidepressantsforkids_zpsd970baf6.jpg.html)

Night Night ... ;)

Cullingford

02-17-2014, 02:00 PM

What clever stuff Dave I like the tree, all twisted and contorted, If you filpped the picture upside down then turned it into a negative it could like a mega bolt of lightening. such a different tree to your camping photograph trees which I noticed were all like skinny poles shooting for the light, what are the name of these trees and the bird they are all alien to me. Anyway loving all your pictures, the forum and making new friends is giving me new lease of life and the drive to do more. My thoughts are spending much more time on positive stuff, started CBT today so pushing fowards thanks all.:)

Ponder

02-17-2014, 03:52 PM

Now that's an Idea Cully ... about the tree and lightening TY - Have not yet tackled the energy balls, but your idea there kind of makes me ponder on that project some. Thanks for the tip!!!! I'm also now thinking arteries/veins as well ... keep feeding back to me like that as it really helps me man.

When it comes to being creative - I must encompass all forms of emotion - from all perspectives. If I was only to shine the light 100% of the time, then the light itself would disappear. Yet another aspect of photography that relates to life.

For Me -> I guess it's all about finding the right balance, but more so with regard to whatever direction I find myself in. By not accepting "all" the elements of my surroundings, then any hope I derive is rather shallow - Given the extent of my own denial towards the harsh reality I myself have enured and still cling too at times - I have a lot of roaring, I am yet to express.

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/goodmorning_zps979b5235.png (http://s181.photobucket.com/user/davekyn/media/goodmorning_zps979b5235.png.html) Currently my endeavors within Photoshop are turning out to be quite effective in doing just that. In this regard I believe it's healthy to let things out as they are, however I do promote doing so in a non destructive way. My thread does carry a Trigger warning and perhaps I could further explain how it was that I came up with such an emotional subject and final save with regard to that PNG I just did.

But not this time ... It is what it is. Dave's RAW/ROUR Emotional thread.

.... Here's hoping you have a good day Cully, and I'm pleased your finding this forum beneficial - Me too. :)

Dahila

02-17-2014, 04:35 PM

To let go of emotions is a half of victory. :)

Ponder

02-17-2014, 05:42 PM

Indeed, one of many steps - yet one all the same. Half a victory is better than half empty :)

Ponder

02-18-2014, 02:03 AM

------------------------------------
---------
---

Today's Project ...

My first crystal ball: ---- more to come.

Best viewed at 1920X1080.

Not a polished job, but there is plenty to look at Dahila ... Enjoy. Take your time ... I tried to make subtle ... well some things anyways ... Remember Full screen a must to enjoy properly.

Download desktop Here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12608745465/sizes/o/
(let it load first.)

Actually it's not quite centered ... but once I started, I could not stop. Good practice run - thought I'd show you Dahila as figured it might be in your genre ... :)

http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2860/12608745465_8c80c5ed45_b.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12608745465/)
crystal_ball (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12608745465/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Getting there ...

Ponder

02-18-2014, 04:41 AM

I have a question Dahila, if you will please. Forgive bad typing as on mobile device. I just noticed a face I did not intend to make in the above crystal ball. I got really excited about that, which made my wife have a good laugh at me - lol ... my reaction that is.

Under the guy who is kneeling to pray ... top left side on very edge .... under him on left side Iis one of three heads that pop out of the ball -> Well that head is the nose, in yet another head, that is formed by the clouds further out ... dark and light shades .... Can you see that? Might take a while ...did for me ...

Kind of weird is all .... sticks out every time I look at it now. OK ... night all ..... ZzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzz

Ps .... even to have a similar expression as the other faces .... totally surreal .... I'm really pleased for all the time I put into that ball. (Even if I am the only one that can see it ) Spent most of the day playing with that.

ravenz61

02-18-2014, 07:31 AM

Dahila

02-18-2014, 07:32 AM

Oh so much on this pic, I love it. you can see all the faces and people, almost every situation in our life, really well on original size, which I have too, Thank you . Such a beautiful picture and it is exactly what I need today :) All elements Fire, air, water, and earth is there, even if you did not think about it. perfect balance of life and spirit. Very dynamic energy in it:)
I see the faces and it is actually very right, I would not change it, but I would add some air , some space above the Cristal if possible.

I am on Ehart Tolle "The power of now" and it is unbelievable; someone know how to talk about being, us. His explanation about using word G is fantastic, it is too commercialized.
Whole my life I am trying to convince people that they have it in them. sometimes I can do sometimes not. Right now I give them note with name and title of book. Beautiful, I am grateful you push me in the right direction. nothing is new for me, I love it:)

Ponder

02-18-2014, 03:09 PM

Sadly there is very little help offered for anxiety. It is not discussed in the media enough when you know alot of celebrities, models, and athletes suffer from anxiety. May you have some peace of mind today.

Hi Raven ... might have something to do with getting paid 20 Million dollars for that last movie, episode, or game they turned up too last week. The example you give highlights everything that is wrong with our society. Hell, the Media indoctrinate (also used by Elites / Governments, Churches, Puppeteers, as too those that vote and go squeak squeak ... hehe lol, My sense of humor, nothing personal -) and fuel the fire of anxiety. Any beneficial discussions with a glimmer of hope could never emanate from the infection itself. A completely new perspective and radical change needs to be implemented as suddenly as it takes for Star Trek's USS Voyager's Emergency Medical Hologram to arrest a cancerous lump, with a simple scan! The action is quick and decisive, but the change would disempower the current reliance on such hype/drama and leave too many of us in a void of despair - or so our spoiled comfy egos would imply.

Be positive, Be happy, hooray hooray ... Oh how the mind loves to play. Comes back to that incessant want, of wanting to shine like a well lit City 24/7 ... Full time electricity suckers all pumped up with joy, that deflates much more rapidly, than the time it took - to Stimulate. (A ratio taken much for granted, highly reactive and residual in nature) The only joy then that comes after burning through such a limited supply of such highly explosive combustive fuel, is by stealing the light of those they deem ignorant in contrast to them. For those that are intent on shining so bright, it will be they that remain obscure, whilst others sit back; both enjoying and sharing what little luminance - others fail to see. In this way - we prosper in a context so sorely misunderstood, sold but rarely felt.

It's not about being the light, but more so seeing it for what it is. The more people ignore the shadows, mores the suffering for them.

I hope some of that makes sense ravenz61? .... and thank you very much ... I have indeed been finding much peace over the last couple of days, as I like to think that I have indeed been both looking at the light and dark - as is my aim at least. It's the only way to paint and live.

Eckhart Tolle speaks well on this. He is one of many authors that I have had the pleasure of viewing. :)

Dahila ...
That's really pleasing to hear ... much of my own summery often mistaken for doom and gloom comes from Tolle ... LOL ... I have admitted where I need to adjust the light. It's really a great read, listen and one that I have to go over a few times. He is so misunderstood by so many that resist. Again, I am really glad that you are able to resonate with him. (going to read more in your reply) ...

OK ... Yes, about the G word (The G Word - Sigh - so sad the term has become) - People just don't get how destabilizing, and immense the hypocrisy is and how it's layered into today's civilization ... The Word/World is unnecessarily complex and full of compromise that makes others sick and once (LIFE) lived out and experienced for a time - the clarification in distinguishing (through personnel attention) "pain from suffering" does well with regard to entanglements and hopefully frees one from such conceptualizing. So in that contrast/context, I mean no offense to those who may find such, from this Authors books.

I hope some of that makes sense to you Dahila. It's good to be writing again as I should. Self reflection is much better than a selfy so quickly snapped. LOL ... Where was I - or I mean you ... scrolls ....

YEA .... Right On ... It's in Us Already - Eureka! That is threatening to those who look externally, which goes back to the G-Filter :( ... (Hard and touchy too explain - reactive Sigh) That kind of thing really leads back to resistance which is in fact strong regarded his teaching. What your statement means to me ("Already In Us") is how much you are seeing the picture similarly to me - the same healthy light coming in, as to coming out ...

That's really beautiful Dahlia ..... Thanks for sharing that with me. Hugs :)

__________________________________________________ ______

PS I have taken notes (re both yours and Cullys sayings) regarding above project ... I will use it as a draft and spend like a Week polishing or when practical to do so.

Thanks Guys
Peace
Dave.

Don't be the light - See it, Feel it, then Share it. Then "without knowing" (crucial) it; only then the experience of then "being" comes along ...

... Now I am lost in my pictures again - the faces emanating from the light as if light itself ... seem to become so - through their own insights and experience of seeing, feeling and sharing. I htink that is what I mean ... ... You can be light - just don't chase it ... let it happen ... through your own insights based on the truth of self ... -> adios - done with my million and one edits.

Who the hell am I talking to?

Ponder

02-19-2014, 05:02 AM

Just a quick update on my latest project Dahila. I believe I have captured the element of Air, going from a crystal ball theme into one of bubbles ... bubbles that appear to float effortlessly in a dream like state. The plan thus far is to have one face on each ball as depicted on the one I have begun - within each bubble will be some kind of theme itself. I think my skill is improving on the lighting effects as too learning more on masking and other facets as well. Your feed back has really helped me to even things out some - I kept balance in mind this time around and intend taking quite some time on this one.

My wife came up with a good idea, with putting a dinosaur theme in one and expanding through time to a future world ... something like that. possibly include extinction events / climate change Vs a Utopian Civilization in space or whatever ... I really don't know. So many ways to go. I have not quite finished with the bubble in the middle, although it's just about done. This time around, I want more on quality and composition. I'll have a mess around tonight, but will save this one to the side, in case I ruin it.

Let me know what you think?

Picture updated - as 1st bubble now complete ...

Night night . ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzz
http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3734/12635113454_043c792f92_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12635113454/)
So Far stage 2 (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12635113454/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Dahila

02-19-2014, 08:45 AM

That it the composition is perfect the pic is stable I mean does not feel heavy on one side,,,,I love it,
What about trying to do series of that pic, I mean when you put theme in each bubble it could lose its impact on the viewer, could feel crowded. I wish I could say it in the way it should express what I am thinking. I feel that less is better, Of course you should try to work it but please make the one desktop size for me , please. The bubble on the left side is too close to top, put it a bit lower , please. I am trying to share the composition I learned in Fine art school.... It is important.

The works of light; awesome... do you know the trick of checking the pic with different view, through half closed eyes? It gives you completely different way of seeing it. If there is any mistake you will see it. It is such dreamy picture,,, I see myself in there in the bubble :) I like being there.

I am the biggest fan of yours, please continue with the idea it is like being on your beech, walking on warm sand and listen the waves coming, coming :) Thank you Dave

GeneAllen

02-19-2014, 09:43 AM

Dave,
It's good to see you're still creating and what a new tone you have. Dude you have found something it seems, a place where you vibrate freely and naturally (note I did not say

normally) as we all know normal is far less then natural. Normal is mans ideal, natural is as it is, rather simple, earthy, grounded, and nothing that can be lost, just forgotten. For me

normal comes and goes, and nothing natural (real) changes. You seem to be there. Thanks for all the great sharing, and at the same time the realness in this entire thread. Peace Bro

Ponder

02-19-2014, 02:27 PM

I hear ya Gene and thanks for the kind words. Always good to hear from you ... As you can see I have been focused in some areas of late, however I made a point last night in reminding myself to go and check Gene's Youtube Channel - yet to do so , but will for sure. Really appreciated your last 8 minute one about reality for yourself as well. Please keep those vids coming as there is a tremendous amount of help on offer, for those prepared to listen. I really am inspired by your vids, as they too, like many others in this forum been helping me to let go and find a little spark again. Thanks you Gene. :)

Hello Again Dahila ...

I now make a folder with your name on it ... lets do this together hey.
Now I must learn that trick of yours. I am still blurry eyed this morning though ... YAWNS ......
It seems like a really good trick. At first I struggled and still do with the technique - BUT - I did as you said and feel indeed - Hmmmmmmmm the extra space above that ball look right and in some way (perhaps I have been staring and moving things around too much lol) that it almost feels like some kind of gravitational connection between it and the one under it. As I say - perhaps I should move on :}

Please find below One large result of the move below ------- Below that I will provide a smaller but comparison view.
Let me know what you think as I will delete post and the pictures in my Flickr to make it less cluttered - but for now - lets talk shop :)

Result so far (re composition)
http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3685/12642425703_cd9a38e96a_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12642425703/)
Adjusted (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12642425703/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Below is the comparison and I like what you said. I included a little grid reference just in case. I moved the bubble down one square and was happy with that. It does not take much to destabilize imo - I hope this is closer to what your would like - otherwise please just state, either one square up,down,left,right and or angular to that. Good Gall Dahila! ................ again let me know if this is what you kind of meant:

https://s3.yimg.com/so/7310/12642424123_86744f68d7_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12642424123/)
This One (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12642424123/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

I'll have to make some fine adjustment to the bubble itself (Just some of the exterior edges on the clouds - I actually don't mind the exaggerated diffraction of background - small adjust to come but over all looks good to me ---- and will consider your other points ... I best post this in case you pop in .........
PS - there is a million things I can do, for instance my paint job on the storm cloud in bubble one is not too bad for a free hand job, but would do well in rotating it very slightly to flatten in out some, as currently it's looks a little lopsided. .......... Hope this finds you well Dahila .... and thank you very much for sharing your art skills with me. :}

Angie 91

02-19-2014, 02:44 PM

Ponder you are amazing!

I see it.
I think so at least...
the reality is a thin just about, but never really transparent bubble in a great chaotic background filled with grubs and nightmares and hunger.
All things dreams, tales animals seems covered and obscured beneath the things that come later or the thing right now being trapped in the present?

I like it a lot.

-Angie

Ponder

02-19-2014, 03:53 PM

Hi Angie ... WAVES ... I hope you have been well. So glad to see you back. Your input into things like this I know would be inspirational. Please do swing by whenever your in the forum. I am pretty much bunkered down in here for now. I do pop out occasionally to say hello or wish someone well, but kind of focused with working on myself (don't mean to be selfish - just needs doing is all) I will think more on what you have said, and said so elegantly at that - Indeed I have missed such finesse. :) I'll share with you about a thought that came to mind regarding your comment on reality ..."reality is a thin just about, but never really transparent bubble in a great chaotic background" I was thinking about a deceptively obscure hand subtlety emerging in the background of space with a protruding Needle that bursts a Bubble, depicted with split/peeled/torn open sides captured in motion with an ocean, city, buildings and people; all cascading to their ends ...

But alas, I thought that might be too negative for some. Smiles ...

I'm going to polish up a little more if what has been done - I discussed your point Dahila with my wife and feel very much drawn to what you said, regarding the tranquility Vs Chaos. I guess there is a time and place for everything, which now makes me ponder on how it is; that the backgrounds that facilitate peace for one, could easily distract another. I guess that is the beauty of art, defining what works for some, working out who it is that you would like to please, expressing for self therapy and on and on ...

Unlike my insight into the hand and needle (lol - that is for another time - :}) - let me see if I can stick with a theme that's evenly spread. "Uniformly so - perhaps" I kind of get what you mean Dahila, but instead of duplicating the same image (not sure if that's what you meant, although I understand that concepts as well), I will instead reproduce animals (of same nature and theme) and background scenes, in the same shape/outline is the same as in other bubbles ... I am hoping that the uniform pattern with shapes and outline will help keep one centered as the picture reveals what is to come the longer one looses themselves in it. (That's what I hope at any rate.)

Does the above sound as if I am listening to your point on not being to chaotic with so many contrasting ideas? I do like what you are saying. In addition to working on subtlety with reoccurring shapes in mind - going with what I think you were meaning -

Is ..... Doing like a prehistoric Woolly Mammoth standing on ICE with like I said, similarly shaped backgrounds
Also .... Then into the Future where the only elephants left, is one made of stone - again depicted with although different scape, same shape ...

I'll even attempt to keep the elephant posing in the same position ..... (Hmmmm that will be hard!)

How does that sound Dahila? ..... I'm really interested in what your thinking about that --- keeping in mind a little uniformity Vs Chaos type of thing??? Or even using uniformity to depict chaos otherwise gone unseen :)

Dahila

02-19-2014, 09:27 PM

It sounds wonderful, however I would try to stay here, and now;) I saved the picture. It is exactly what I had in mind the grit help to find the balance. I like it a lot, and this is why I am staring at it or will stare in a few minutes.... listening the book:)

No bursting the bubble now please, not now, it is such peaceful picture, Dave, the new you....Put your ideas to work, it gives you peace and joy, do not stop. what you are going to lose? Nothing, in art time does not exist, it is just a concept, not needed in art.

Yes the only animals left will be in stone or the pictures... it is terrifying, we are going in this direction...

I guess there is a time and place for everything, which now makes me ponder on how it is; that the backgrounds that facilitate peace for one, could easily distract another. I guess that is the beauty of art, defining what works for some, working out who it is that you would like to please, expressing for self therapy and on and on ...
You said it all :) I am happy to read it...Self therapy, self healing, healing others through your vision, all is yours.....

Ponder

02-20-2014, 01:23 AM

I think I will not play up any of my pictures in future - I'm not sure which way I wish to go - well I am - and it's not exactly new. I am not agreeable to this world therefore think I will ride with that on my next attempt. At least you saved that other one ;)
Still practicing - but think my post world -life ones resonate for me. Lost touch with colors and all that and completely lost it -

Today I repaired an Air cooler so saved a bit of money there ... got a few things done, but will work on that. Got in touch with my brother briefly, so that was good (only email) .... not much else going on really. Might watch a movie tomorrow.

No it is not a good direction, yet no one wants to talk about it. I think the new me wants to draw upon that a little more ...

Must go walking Dave ... will take some Valerian tonight and listen to some meditations to help calm down. Have to admit, I've been riding high some with all this. My wife has been watching the News again - I'm really done with that - Seems TV has crept back in with her broken leg. I'm kind of pissed about that.

https://s2.yimg.com/sk/3742/12651210963_b4701f13bf_z.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12651210963/)
Bla - (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12651210963/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

Thanks for your help Dahila ... I should go listen to a book as well. :)

Ponder

02-20-2014, 02:14 AM

Dahila, may I ask how I go about making that cream you mentioned. I bought some cheap vitamin E moisturizer - Do I blend two table spoons of Oats in my coffee blender and mix with cream? Or do I have to add water.

I just had a shave - I have to admit that my hygiene really sucks when I get down - then I only seem to itch all the more on my face with is being clogged up with sweat and dead skin - more so from my messed up liver and all that. I could care less about my clothes and all that other stuff that others find a must for presenting a suitable standard - especially when going out to get a loaf of bread - Sigh ...

But after the rash subside from using the hair clippers on my face (razors and anything else just about makes me bleed) I do like to have a shower then and only then I attempt to put some (I go get it) ---

Renew ... its a Melaleuca product.
http://australia.melaleuca.com/ProductStore/Product.aspx?sku=6600

I try not to use too much of it. It's OK - but I actually find or feel, that sometimes the skin gets too used to it if I rely on it ... also my skin feels better when I wets the cream in warm water to apply it ... usual in the shower I might put some on. My skin issues with itching and build up can be quite painful and very irritating ... None the less - if I looked after myself better, I know I can get a handle on it. Bit like the ringing in my ears - yet another gauge to life.

Anyways - The Oat water was really good!!! Just rubbing it on was good, so I can't wait till we move again, into a place that has a bath ............ always with the moving ... Maybe I pick one up from the dump and have one outside :)

Anyways - any info would be good.
Take care .......

I should have a shower tonight ... but then again, we do tend to waste so much water. Seems to be as expensive as electricity of late.
Peace ...

Dahila

02-20-2014, 08:22 AM

Yes oats are awesome. Finely blend oats two tbsp or or one you will see the consistency, but must be very fine. mix with cream not water, mix using the hand :) not the blender. It good to go. My next soap will be with it. No many people know that cream or oil should be applied to damp face or body. It instantly is in the pores.. As a moisturizer (I used it for like 3 years) is Coconut oil just perfect, after you wash the face, when skin is still wet apply and wait , after few minutes it is gone:) It is good for body and face and I use only Organic coconut oil in my cooking

I had hear about that company, but I am not really convinced to the products when they are for years on the shelf and nothing happens, they are filled up with toxic preservatives. I use synthetic preservative too, but in small amounts, I choose the ones that are kind for the skin, and I add a tiny bit, enough to preserve for a year. At least that long I know , because I still have lotion which is good.
Any commercial product will have a lot of *888 in it. There is not really a lot of difference between cheap Vitamin E cream and the expensive one..

I got up , made a coffee came here and on desktop is your pic :) today I noticed the face, now I know what it is about. Nice concept. Humanity is not going to get out of the bubble we are going to die in the bubble, rich or poor, everyone...
I see that you work with pictures and get high like with the walking or exercising... ... I am the same....I understand it, it is not good for us...
I commented on flicr , I wonder where it will take you, please share every step ..
I just paid my bill, electricity one. Tell me how it is possible that Canada pays to Us to take some electricity we produce, and customers are forced to shot down the A/C and save of power, and suffer when we have such hot summers. I pay for electricity 50 dollars and for the service and a lot of others like Debt Retirement charge, regulatory charges, and bla bla twice more....

The air one is awesome, I love it:)

Cullingford

02-20-2014, 02:27 PM

Another wonderful picture :) I am really enjoying these as I was studying the bubbles and the sky and clouds I drifted off into a kind of meditation. Wonderful I was lost in some lovely peaceful thoughts, I know nothing at all about meditation but I may have to learn something on the subject after this. Thankyou for posting these works of art and I look forward to the next one.

Ponder

02-20-2014, 06:07 PM

Much appreciated Dahila. Thought as much with commercial stuff. Have not tried making any yet, but will let you know as soon as I do. The average electricity bill per quarter here is around $700.00 and still rising. That's for a family that watches TV and uses multiple computers --- but that's like everyone these days. Sydney Australia rated as the 3rd highest city in the world to live and Melbourne Astralia the 5th ---- and that's taking into account variable as per capita and all the BS - Petrol will soon be TWO $ a liter!

Hi Cull - thanks man - You sound really laid back to me - re our posts and chats ... I really don't think it would take you long to refine your already cool state. :) ........

I'm just mucking around for now with text effects and polishing my balls .... hmmm ... I mean refining my attempts at painting spherical objects. LOL

https://v4s.yimg.com/sk/3744/12666396304_628e725b98_o.png (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12666396304/)
The illusion (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12666396304/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr Think I'll take it watch and go watch a movie.

PS - excuse the photo deletes from previous threads. I had to tidy up Flickr a little - I left the best ones. So some of my posts may say Pic not available further back is all. No big deal really. I think I need to find a new hosting site for these Projects, however not ling them at resolution, so might just leave things as they are and or start making sets.

Adios for now .................

Cullingford

02-22-2014, 02:29 AM

1079

Good morning all! I managed to get a short walk in this morning I thought black and white suited this timeless scene better. Feeling good Swans always remind me of Anxiety sufferers calm on the surface paddling like hell under it. Take care all :D.

Cully

Ponder

02-22-2014, 02:45 AM

No such thing as a cure, but those ducks know that and how present they be. STUNNING shot man! Superb!!! I know Dahila is going to LOVE that one! Speechless actually! Hey Cull, that's not yet another church is it???? How many you got over there? The grass .......... AAAAAWESOMMMMMMME!

Dude - the best I could come up with today was my short attention span ... pails in comparison to that stunning photo!'
Remember what you asked what my plan was for the day - well this was pretty much it:
http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/Short-attention-span-1_zps00f61bcb.gif (http://s181.photobucket.com/user/davekyn/media/Short-attention-span-1_zps00f61bcb.gif.html)

Again ... stunning photo Cully ... any chance you can crop to 1920 X1080 for our desktop resolution. Well, both mine and Dahlias desktop resolution is that. I understand if unable, no worries.

Take care Cully, hope you enjoyed my personal hello up there.

I ended up putting a few things on Ebay (one of those chairs among other things - NOT the one I am sitting in though!), so wish me luck with those. Hope to make enough to get a Graphics Tablet so I can paint free hand in Photoshop. Found some really good course on Digital Painting. Thanks for the chat today, much appreciated. I wish you and your family well. Have a good weekend and all the best with work too. ;)

PS - If I could afford it, I would send one to you Chris - wishing you well too.
PEACE to you Bruh > :D

Dahila

02-22-2014, 08:55 AM

I want that PICK on my desktop Cully, it is beautiful, so peaceful, perfect for my desktop. I have not words to describe it, I LOVE IT!!!

You know Culli I never scream;)
Dave lately you made me laugh and that's work better than infamous Ativan..

Cullingford

02-22-2014, 12:19 PM

Hi Dave, nice one thats twice today you have made me crack up, well done! best of luck with selling your stuff. Dahila thankyou for your kind words about the picture. I tried as Dave asked me to crop it but being an idiot I think i did it wrong, perhaps Dave can fix it with his photoshop!. My only concern is you might end up with a mammoth wandering through the undergrowth:rolleyes:.
The Kids have a birthday party to go to tomorrow! its in an indoor adventure playground, hundreds of screaming kids nightmare!. But luckily for me I got out of it so its a nice long walk for me tomorrow. I have got all my jobs out of the way today the chickens are spotless so it leaves me the whole day free.:)
As for the churches yeah there are lots of them here, I think they built them so big as to out do the next village. The one in the picture is a great one! the location is awsome, my great uncle used to be a churchwarden and keep the key, the key is about 2 foot long and he went and lost it :D. Inside there are large angels in the roof and on one door the Devil came in the guise of a large black dog ( Black Shuck) and left large claw marks on it.

Sometimes I do repairs on the churches for work, I repair the flintwork and plaster repairs they make a welcome change from the constant noise of a normal building site.

Take care guys and thanks again for your kind words.

Ponder

02-22-2014, 02:51 PM

First things first ...

JUST IN ... Be on the look out for a young man carving demonic statues into the entrances of our many churches. We have moved beyond such a Gothic outlook and would appreciate in any information on the whereabouts of this individual:

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/CullyTheStoneMason-_zps81baade0.jpg (http://s181.photobucket.com/user/davekyn/media/CullyTheStoneMason-_zps81baade0.jpg.html)

I really loved Pillars of Earth and was disappointed it the series finished so soon. OK moving on :) ...

Obtaining High resolution.
Unfortunately Cully, I am unable to obtain any more resolution than which is currently display at the link you PMed me.

It all begins in the settings of your camera - I don't mean to tell you stuff you already know, however I will explain as best I can.

In most of all digital camera today - under settings - you should find something relation to "picture Quality/Size"
Some people like to use low quality for taking a billion internet photos -
Unfortunately not all cameras will state the resolution when choosing Low/Medium and High.

In that case you will need to take a photo, one on each quality setting and upload them to your computer. You don't need a Paint or Photo editing program to find the resolution. All you need to do is go into your computers Explorer Windows and Click on the File/photo icon.

What Operating System are you Using>>>>? Although I have state of the art custom made PC I build myself, I refuse to use Windows 8. That's nothing but a Spamming System for the touch screen "mobile" experience which leads consumers to being sucked into having their systems fill with garbage MALWARE ... but you know how it is --- anything New like an iPhone 5-6-7-8 & on and on .... like damn sheep ... They got to have it straight away, yet most don't know anything beyond their own opinion ... I kind of blessed myself with a self taught education that puts me leagues ahead of the main stream "Whatever Dave ... " ... Education ... pfffft ... bahahaha LOL ... illusion ..... OK - PIN PRICK:

Where was I ...

Click on your files and look in the bottom of the window for information - like this:
http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/example_zps5ed07886.png (http://s181.photobucket.com/user/davekyn/media/example_zps5ed07886.png.html)

It may look different and be worded different depending on what kind of Operating System - resource/hogging, draining Malware spreading machine you have. LOL ... srry man - I need breakfast!

DUDE I hope you and the family have a blast!

OH NO ... all my information on the screen like that OH NO ... what am I going to do ...... PEOPLE ... what ya going to do .... I go eat now.
Peace, love - light and whatever else make you shake ... ;)

Ponder

02-22-2014, 02:54 PM

Once you can do that - let me know -
Thing is - whatever resolution you upload them at - is all I have to work with. That's why I think I am limited with the one in that link you gave me. I cant make it any larger than what it already is? Do you kind of get what I mean??? I understand if you don't because it can be hard for me to teach.

Dahila

02-22-2014, 03:11 PM

Ok Cully your church just reminded me about the city i lived in Poland. Przemysl; famous for having 13 churches in 17 century, The fanatism in the last years, higher the number of them to 25 , Twenty five churches in the city of 72.000 people That's fresh listings :( simply terrifying....Catholic churches only. I did not check the other religions, which we have many in Poland, the country famous for religious tolerance....but it was long time ago, when the templars run to Poland...

Mr. Ponder you are the only person who I know that liked I really loved Pillars of Earth, then there was the World without the end. Sequel to the Pillars... I also liked his Fall of Giants, the first novel in the 'Century' trilogy, was published in 16 countries simultaneously on September 28, 2010.
Winter of the World picks up right where the first book left off, as its five interrelated families – American, German, Russian, English, and Welsh – enter a time of enormous social, political, and economic turmoil, beginning with the rise of the Third Reich, through the Spanish Civil War and the great dramas of World War II, to the explosions of the American and Soviet atomic bombs and the beginning of the long Cold War.
There is going to be third and last part of that Edge of Eternity, the sweeping, passionate conclusion to the Century trilogy, will be published in many countries on 16 September 2014.
I simply love Ken Follet, I had read all his books, he is fantastic, what is the best his books are historically correct, he does a very good research when writing

Ponder

02-22-2014, 03:12 PM

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/MorningsWalk_zps4f8cacf4.jpg (http://s181.photobucket.com/user/davekyn/media/MorningsWalk_zps4f8cacf4.jpg.html)

Dahila

02-22-2014, 03:15 PM

it seems that you walked on regular trails?

Ponder

02-22-2014, 04:40 PM

Hi Frankie - Always good to see you :) ... Not the most crispy shot, but I too also like the motion depicted here. LOL @ your description regarding out birds here ... smiles. hehehe. I am now trying to practice witting with the mouse as I look forward to my eBay items being sold, so that I may eventually get a graphics tablet to write with. That is going to be interesting. I am left handed and was treated harshly because of my writing style - as a result my hand writing actually got much much worse. (that's another story) Again, really gladdened to see you Frankie - always straightens my mood out. Wishing you well. :)
__________________________________________________ ________________________________

Awesome Dahila - I watch them both as well, however whilst loving them both - Pillars of earth I thought was really good. I connected much with TOM in many ways ... The historical movies and series I will always love. There are quite a few, however just like Sci-fi has been ruined today with so much "botched up Fantasy attempts" mixed in with it - that Genre is barley distinguishable as Science Fiction any more. Also another thing that I am getting sick of is all the "Super Bitches As Too -> Cowboys" making there way into that scenario as well. Then we also have this thing of late - with WHO CAN MAKE A SERIES WITH EVEN MORE PORN! - I mean come on - I don't mind a little bit of everything - But the last thing I need to see in the middle of some medieval scene in which a lone father contemplates how he shall continue to feed his starving kids who sleep on something that resembles a bed, made out of branches and skins dangling from a roof of grass ... is for Xena the warrior princess to come bursting through the door and rip the mans clothes of and begin screwing him with wide eyed kiddys pondering - "is this our new mummy?"

Hehehe - Just kidding, perhaps I'm just bitter, because I too wish I was thinking like wise where my next feed was coming from and WHAMO the door flies open and ... Yea right - Sure Dave sure Dave ... Seriously, it's like people walk around wishing they were these characters you know - SSSSSSSSS back off, I'm a Xena warrior ya know! ... Hmmmm puckers up some there and get the walk just right ... It's been so liberating that even now the boys are doing it - lol ... Guys are worse with that kind of things - living in this Alpha world as they do; although some of the latest lady Detectives are really impressing upon me of late - I might have to give Xena the flick yet ... :) Everyone has to be a super hero. Mostly coated with stars and stripes. Sigh. If I watch older movies Dahila, it's because I get more of a story with less of the BS, overdone action and porn that makes so much of today's knock offs, look very cheap -> more corny than an 80's flick actually, and that's saying something.

Sryy off track ... so yea - Spartacus wasn't too bad - the porn was well suited to that one. Good roles all over I thought - for the most part it was watchable all the way though and no supper warrior princess bursting through the door. Sigh ... LOL ... I am srry if your that way inclined Dahila (kidding kidding you know -) ... ... somehow I doubt it. In actual fact, I am not meaning to be gender specific in any of that - but I do find it amusing how for some, that Wonder Women was not enough - She really was awesome and I am all for the liberating that women has done with all she brought to the screen - I'm more referring to simply the way producers now REGARDLESS of GENDER - put in so much BULL SHIT into the scenes.

Battlestar Galactic was a real eyeopener going from a family orientated light hearted show into crew members screwing in the hall ways before an away mission ... lol ... it's not the screwing here that I am upset with - more the contrast between shows. It did get better, as anyone can be desensitized if you give them long enough - just like the anoying zooming in and out that show did --- I was like "For Frack Sake -stop doing that shit!" ----

The change over from Star Gate SG1 to Atlantis was interesting enough - change can be hard for most people after 10 years of one style - however the change into Star gate Universe was a bit of a laugh for me - He we go again with the screwing in the corridors - hahahahahahaa - "We must be getting to old for this shit darl" I would laugh and say. "Poor old Macgyver back at Star gate Command" hehehe .... It also got really slow aboard the ship and I was keen to see the reaction online --- YEP , the producers quickly changed their attitude before the audience was about to drop it completely - they where hoping to do some kind of Battle star Galactic rip off and attract a whole new audience so they then could highjack the serries into a complexity different affair --- Thank God --- we might of ended up with humans sporting faces with puppy dog faces and cat ears jumping each other like rabbits if not for the fans ... PHEW..... like all series of today, it actually got good, then they cut if off - Just like the "Fire Fly" Series where the super chicks and cowboys really fitted in! I absolutely 100% loved that series - could not believe it got the chop ... {:

Everything has its place, however if you have pay tv, you can clearly see how much overkill is currently destroying the mix - all the great ones are now getting chopped before they have a chance to begin. Has to be the new age of producer and writers for sure - just as sick as the rest of us. Again - I talk too much.

Hope you got a something out of that and apologies if you thought I was offensive ... I'm all for a cause, but all of us have to draw the line somewhere. Finding a good watch is getting harder these days.

Keep listing them for me Dahila ... I have bookmarked and also taken note of the ones you have mentioned. There are good young producers and writers out there - but this day and age, its more about feeding the frenzy and pleasing the masses. You can only go so far with that, before there is nothing left to rehash.

Must get off this thing ------------ Adios.

To be fair --- Xena was funny! ... I liked her offsider as well. :)

Ponder

02-23-2014, 12:50 AM

Thanks for the tip Frankie ... Indeed - I have also bought of amazon. I never buy local anymore. Rarely at any rate. Still researching on the one I want, however good to hear that she loves it. :)

I am really amazed at some of the things that people can do with such a pen and pad. Looking forward to painting and drawing ...

jessed03

02-23-2014, 03:13 AM

Frankie, what do you do on a graphics tablet? Is that the bit of kit you draw on, and it transfers it to the screen?

Anyway, this topic excites me!
I love graphics and photography and editing. Never been able to spend much money on it, but some bits of equipment are so cheap now, and dare I say it some bits of software can even be found online for free.

(Adobe, if I ever get to a point where someone wants to pay thousands of pounds for my work, I'll send your £899 by cheque for the software I've 'borrowed' - until then, thank you! :))

Really nice seeing what you guys have posted!!

You get to know somebody so much better by seeing their photographs!

Anyway, just wanted to check in, say hi! Hope you're doing well (especially you Ponder & Cully, as I never see you on too many threads) :)

I'll try and post something of my own pretty soon to get into the spirit. Beginning to get less grey here, which is nice.

I love playing with colours. Grey pictures with a little colour look amazing too.

Some of the free editing apps are pretty cool these days too. If you can tolerate the flashing adverts LOL

Right now, I've gotta go out for my run, then do some errands. Slacked a little this week, missed a session, hoping to get back into the swing of it, and it'll be no big deal!

@Ponder: How's the foot these days?

Dahila

02-23-2014, 07:27 AM

I am kind of interested in Graphic tablet too, must read more about it:)

Cullingford

02-23-2014, 09:34 AM

Hi Jesse good to see you down here! I am doing very well thanks, I went for a nice long walk this morning. I think i will stick to walking and leave the running to the young and fit like you. Do you have somewhere nice to run or do you just pound the streets? London is so busy is it safe with all that traffic?, I hav'nt been there for a while it was crazy last time I was there so many people!!.
It would be nice to see some of your pictures as you say it helps you to get to know a person. looking forward to seeing some.

Cullingford

02-23-2014, 12:49 PM

Hi guys, Dahlia I was thinking back to when I visited Poland there were lots of catholic shrines thats the best way I can describe them. If I remember correctly it seemed that every village seemed to have one, I am sure you can clarify this for me.
Dave I love the picture of me haha very funny look at my hair! I wish it was still that rampant!! even his clothes are better than my rags.:)

I took this picture from the roof of a church the other week 1088

Dahila

02-23-2014, 01:25 PM

Yes Cullie every village has one:)))))))

Ponder

02-23-2014, 05:05 PM

HI guys, good to see you again Jesse. Foot is better thank you. Must start getting back out again. Really great to see you again. Awesome Pic Cully and lol Dahila

Not feeling well today guys ... will have to catch up later.

I do wish you all well.

Please do carry on ... :)

Ponder

02-24-2014, 01:46 AM

WORSE DAY EVER

Harassed in Chat apparently by someone who does this frequently using the word of God ...

I was going to pass up some research Dahila on the Graphics Tablet movement and all that sort of fun, however I have been completely derailed by the event of this mornings trolling in that chat I refer too. I know I am responsible for my own actions and today I made many people suffer ... here is the highlight for my best days offering from anther thread ... A special thank you goes out to the Troll as well as all the other religious Yahoos ... Thanks a fucking Lot ...

____________________________ Cut and paste ... Again ... I wont run from it, but let the seed grow and show off the fruit such religion grows:

How about I jump into your personal space and shove my values down your throat because I'm allowed to get away with it ...

Seems like you want to start some shit ... take a shit and move on ... Pffft! ... Your seed has taken root and the fruit grows quick ...

My God ... New insights come to mind:

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/o-JESUS-570_zps72d50867.jpg (http://s181.photobucket.com/user/davekyn/media/o-JESUS-570_zps72d50867.jpg.html)

How about I start ramming this down everyone's throat - in thier PMs and Chat Boxes as well - Hell why not just grab their ips do some research and turn up on their door step and show them what a real fucking bashing is! it would appear one can have free reign in here as it is????

Prod prod ... take a shit and move on. This the response you looking for?

Hows about you go fuck yourself ... You can be real proud as you've been quite successful in pissing me off. Your all the fucking same ...Bible thumping, God Damning Judgmental fucks. I hope your real fucking proud of yourself MATE. If any ones knows about what a bashing session is, it's fuckers like you that take a shit and then move on.

This is what you fucking get when you get trolled in chat like happened to me from such a faith driven tact. Fuck you and any of you kind. My inability to cope over this is my own battle - but you fuckers that come on in and keep stiring the pot - your just the fucking same as that other telling me to pray.

My mental illness is such that that energy from that little spray effect many this side today. On that Note - I too like a few others in here, have good reason to question why the fuck it is, that we frequent this place.

I'm typically not a bad bloke and I'm happy my mates in here know of that - but fucked if I will sit by and let fucking predators prey like you do.

Good fucking Riddance - grabs your feet while you dust them off and rips you a new fucking ass hole you fucked up all almighty self righteous better than thou useless cunt!

Now if you'll forgive me I have a man behind some curtain to see who is going to absolve me of all this shit, so that I can do it all again.
A Good Day to you Sir.

Ponder

02-24-2014, 01:47 AM

Now - I can move on ... lest they come on in here and start again ... rolls eyes.

Ponder

02-24-2014, 01:53 AM

I'm going to pretend you've just given me lots of calming advice Dahila, and going to continue researching Digital Painting/Drawing. Breaths ... :)

Ponder

02-24-2014, 03:43 AM

So today, I did make a start in preparing some space to set up an extra monitor and provide extra room for the proposed acquisition of a graphics tablet. In the mean time - I have acquired a LOT BOOKS on the subject of Digital Painting - Heaps of Sources out there Dahila. I've about choosen the best entry lvl pro tablet in my price range - Have confirmed with manufacture that driver setting enable rotating of the board so as to allow for my left palm not to interfer with the controls. I have also found an AWESOME FREE online tutorial which I can link later that is based on Photoshop, although just like the books I sourced, there is too plenty of software available.

I even found time to experiment using just the mouse. I went in free hand of course - although the close up of the front grass is an actual brush print. Using different brush sizes and all that seems to be the tick as to opacity and blab bla bla bla

Practice makes for a better rendition and although it looks all over the place, I can tell the more I try my hand of this and with all the options with the brushes and editing - that this is going to be rather fun and meditative. The below is of a mountain I used to climb as a boy - called the crown ... in that one horse town I was raised. I dare Say i will be re-drawing this over and over again ... with all kinds of new things coming to mind.

Great for simple minds ... Wouldn't have it any other way!

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/TheCrown_zpsd689b385.jpg (http://s181.photobucket.com/user/davekyn/media/TheCrown_zpsd689b385.jpg.html)

Dahila

02-24-2014, 08:44 AM

Jeez I want to know what is the graphic Tablet you have, and thats fantastic so you can draw on it and what print it or save it to computer. I am really interested in it. I like it, there is noting wrong with mix of technics in one work. I mix pensils with acryl, and water paint , works like a charm. Would you mind sending the email with the name and links to me? I acutally have a good books, will check for the size. drawing for absoulute or step by step drawing, Would you like some?

It is very soft I like the way you work with the light. 1089
It is small drawing with the pastel and water color. I do not know how well can you see it, cause is pic from the framed with glass. One of the most commons sights in Poland especially close to rivers. :)

Your outburst about the F*****s was all right. I like the attachment about Jesus. It is true, must copy it:))

Dahila

02-24-2014, 09:02 AM

Frankie the pictures are beautiful, I am so proud of you, you doing such beautiful progress. The first one, I prefer open spaces, the first pic would be too much for me, to crowdy. If you think Frankie that only you have this problem is not true:)) I am so proud of you:)

Dahila

02-24-2014, 09:07 AM

Frankie have a cuppa tea , and breath, listen the visualization:) My hubby loves Linden Method. It puts him to sleep:) Did you try it? It should be done at least twice a day....

Cullingford

02-24-2014, 02:15 PM

Hi guys what wonderful pictures Frankie, how well are you doing!. They Bay with all the islands looks like a great place to explore, Ireland is always somewhere i have wanted to visit!. keep posting the pictures it might give me extra incentive to give it alook and go and kiss the blarney stone.

Dahila I love the painting:) the trees look like willow to me if you cut of a branch and stick it in the ground it will grow. There was a large willow tree here it reputedly grew from a cricket stump, soldiers were playing cricket here before the war! they left the stumps there for their return and one grew into this tree. Sadly the tree died a few years and was cut down.

Dave sorry to hear about the incident in chat, thankyou for you advice with the photographs and camera I will have a good look at that tomorrow night. I have been to my second CBT lecture thing tonight I am just glad to get my arse on the sofa. Your picture is great! you lot are so creative post some more.

Ponder

02-25-2014, 12:06 AM

Also hopes the CBT is something you find hopeful Cully and your most welcome. Frankie I love the little waterfall there as well as the building in your last one. I hope your able to keep up the walking, but only within as much as you feel comfortable with. I actually like that pathway too. :) Regardless the standard of your camera - you have captures some wonderful shot and like Cully, also clear that you have the eye as well. Please do keep them coming. We have all been enjoying the sharing that has taken place within this thread by way of such imagery.

Thanks again Jesse, asking after my ankle ... reminds me just how lucky I am to get back up and go out walking once again. I do hope you are well too.

I have thrown together a slide show with 30 Digital Paintings Dahila ... hopefully to entice you or others whom may want a new hobby - would be nice to learn along someone else and share hints and tip with hosting a few of our finished products.
Before I go on about the Graphics Tablets and all the links I have obtained for the latest in Beginner Tips ... I will have to go get dinner ready for the family so will just post a few pics and link my slide show examples.

The books I have are more about how to use a graphics tablet rather than pens, pencils and paint brushes - however the beauty is, the Graphics tablet works just the same as all those tools ... and more. I will still be able to create free hand using the electronic pen (if you will) - and save a mint on paper, canvas, chalks, paints and much much more - and also not to mention - next to no mess. :}
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Below is a skill level and type of painting I would like to achieve further down the track - again - using no paint brush, oils, paper or mess - Yet once done, I can print straight to canvas and hang on the wall:

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3774/12764301105_5907f8c426_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12764301105/)
example 2 (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12764301105/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

I also thought this one was very interesting - the ability to create - rub out - and create again - I believe makes such a skill available to anyone willing to learn:

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3714/12764444823_999d976b21_o.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12764444823/)
Example 17 (http://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/12764444823/) by L_Plate_Dave (http://www.flickr.com/people/71988794@N08/), on Flickr

I am right for books Dahila - although if your still interested in learning how to use a Graphics Tab - (as simple as drawing on a mouse pad really, but learning the device itself will require separate tuition) --- I would be happy to put in all the other links - well actually, I intend to in my next post ,,, with what I believe are the best Budget minded - and entry level "dive in compulsive" pro consumer's choice ...

First up - Within the 30 examples I picked - some have a dark elements and others mostly fantasy/sci fi - Hell I even threw in Jamie Lanaster or whatever his name is From Game of Thrones ... LOL - just because it was there, and I thought it would be nice to be able to paint peoples faces so I can then try my hands with my family as well. So there is a dragon or two - battle scenes as if in hell - down to some scenic pics among other things ... Drawing and sketching will most likey be my first point of call as is emphasized in the tutorial - I will try to attach a slide just on sketches next time around ...

The slide will last a couple of minutes and end with the start screen so you will know. Give each pic a good look for techniques used as they are all done free hand on a tablet whilst user looks at screen ... I think this technology is amazing ... at first I snobbed it off, when it first came out - I had no idea about sensitivity - and software tweaks - and since learning more about light and color in photography and Photoshop (mind you very user friendly software comes with some tabs) - I can't wait to get started ... Must go cook and clean now -

SLIDE SHOW HERE:
Remember Cuppa first then the link :)
http://electronicpainting.blogspot.com.au/
PS - click the full screen icon on the lower far right hand corner of slide show player - optimized for 1929X1080 - just how you like it :}
PPS ... I really appreciate you showing me the trees on your wall - I very much saw them indeed (connectedness) and am hoping you might consider drawing with me. Again - I really like your Trees :} TY.

Ponder

02-25-2014, 04:35 AM

Graphics Tablets

In the off chance anyone is interested on what's what with Graphics tablets for 2014 - allow me to share the following link. This is a second edition with respect to a buyers guide made by this presenter:

2014 Buyers Guide:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLVeylnc-js

*Note ... whilst claims are made that some tablets do not come with software - check with seller, as amazon and some on eBay, claim software comes with tablet - Photoshop being one of them ... just check and ask if it's a deal breaker for you.

Just my thoughts is all:

I've decided to go with the pro model however there is nothing wrong with going the cheaper version otherwise known as the Bamboo. All the explanation is in the video.
I am going with the Waccom brand, because my research reveal some of the other cheaper brands having driver issues (among other things) with various operating systems - Namely Mine! I'm pretty sure the medium general version of the pro tab (which I will include a pic of - the white one) will be more than adequate for a beginner.

I can't help but get all wound up with consuming all the information that will needed to be assimilated - I don't want to get stuck wishing I had more options later - and thus actually find it more economical going with a full featured device when making such purchases to save in the long run. The pro version has (addition tilt setting which I want for calligraphy) twice the sensitivity and well as more than twice the resolution - however again - The general tab with a sensitivity of 1024 and a resolution to a few thousand PPI would suffice for doing high resolution web displays - including I am sure of up to 1920X1080 --- it's just that I will want to do a lot of fine detail work as well as do poster size prints.

The USB cord that comes with the standard white version is SHORT - I recommend using these tablets connected with USB! Just get a USB extension cable if going that route. The Pro version comes with a long USB cable which is good - because although that device also comes with Wi/Fi - I rarely use the crap! I have so many wifi devices in my house as it is which sometime conflict do to having so many - plus there is always lag - Hell - I still connect with cable to my router because of my preference for NO LAG whatsoever. Some people have reported that multiple long brush stokes are not always in syn - being in syn is crucial for me ... bla bla bla bla bla additional issues with wireless seem to include conflicts with on board controls light display ...

I think that about it ... the brand moonlight has issues and the amazon feedback seem to reflect that pretty much - of course that are those who had a cry with the above models - but hugely outweighed with the number of five stars - which make the other 2 start reports look like people who forget to turn the power on and never read the manual. LOL ... I was ripped off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Balalalalalalalalablablablabla ....... hehehe

You may find yourself happy with a rip off model for $50.00 - it's not for me to say - All I can say is that I covered the issues with Driver Stability - and good all round user feedback - Don't get a small one! You will regret it no matter how much they rave on about portability - Medium is the smallest you want to go - if you value not cramping up and want to draw for more than an hour ... plus you need a little room to move your arm - I would of gone large if I could afford. Stick with a working area of around 8 to 5 inches minimum - That's tiny enough! These tablets can be rotated as well - must for left handed people. Hot key shortcuts are useful and come on both of these pads.

......Wacom Intuos Pro Pen and Touch Medium Tablet (PTH651)
http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/06f4c773-c81e-4e8e-a9d3-6619118df86d_zps7c35050c.jpg

Wacom Intuos Pen and Touch Medium
http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/de303e83-fe1d-4391-bb95-a235b56f7762_zpsa8f5c234.jpg

Other than that - watch the video again and see what you can pick up (get just a few extra nibs - consider pen with battery or no battery/weight size and feel -> I note here, yet another reason to stick with Wacom as they seem to be the one who has been with this tech, from the start) --- search about some other reviews which I did as well --- some are rather bias and influenced (claim the sensitivity is too much on the wacoms, however I have since joined a digital arts forum "DeviantArt - digital art - sub forum and search plus posted with no such concerns raised by those happily operating the above tabs (any raised I have already mentioned re wireless use (just connect by USB!) - hence I discount those flashy claims with review sites full of flashy adds) which can be hard to tell for those of you that generally don't spend hours research everything you buy ... LOL ... something us poorer ones become experts at. I found a good price on eBay, so bypassing Amazon - in fact due to new BS custom laws here, electronics have been monopolized due to the lithium battery excuse regarding fires on planes (OH HOW the local shops are loving that one.) --- Just purchase from middle men to overcome.

The guy that made that 2014 buyers guide has an awesome site with loads of Free video tuition:
http://ctrlpaint.com/library/

This is pretty much how I am setting up to get started --- plus the books I downloaded specific to "using a Graphics Tablet?pen" in conjunction with Photoshop CS 5.

PS both of the above Tabs come with Software as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BIG PLUS for those that don't know what a torrent is.

I think that's about all I can offer for now - except to track down one video specific on using the Wacom Tablets ... hints and tips and so on

Night Night ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Ponder

02-25-2014, 05:22 AM

Actually, I have a cuppa and let you know what we think thus far of season three - Game Of Thrones. As I previously mentioned, the only thing we do invest in, is our own movies/TV series. Keeps the adds at bay for me and I don't mind repeats of a good selection. So anyways - we waited and are now savoring with just an ep here and there - will most likely binge 4 tomorrow LOL ... BUT then again NOT. At the end of episode three tonight - was some terrible head banging thrashing music. Perhaps not quite as disruptive as that, but none the less yet another moment were we turn to each other and say "WTF is that shit!" Like watching a youtube video on something you need to know, however the idiot who made it is playing Death metal ... 123 Click and Goodbye!

I think you may have said to me that the series starts to go to shit? We now have to agree! The music at the end was enough to turn us off - because the truth is, just like with the walking dead - each episode is being dragged on like a dead weight. They give you a little taste, but by the time they feed you more - its like "fuck you made me wait this long and that's all your now going to give" No fucking wonder they are playing SHIT music at the end of each ep. Completely turned off! I wish more people would react to such things ... so malleable are today's audiences. I think pretty think to be honest. If more people acted up with what the fuck is that - guess what, no more money from us goodbye! What a better place the world would be. They got away some with the camera zooming in BSG - again - Thank fuck SGU learned to back the fuck up with that shit. There's a new Blair witch movie out, YET AGAIN ... I give the young ones today 5 to 7 years, before they too start throwing up with BS presentations like that later portrayed in some Sci-fi flick.

Well - cuppa is about gone - so on that note - Yep - I think Game of Thrones is Becoming Dead Weight - in much the same way we feel about the Walking Dead . ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz ... I'll give it another try - it's going to have to pick up to make up for the second it takes to cut out that Trash Music at the end of the eps. I have notice this with other series as well - where they fuck with the start and end presentations - most notably on the music at that, and in most of those - I do believe they ended up rather fucked! True blood has a good riff - I stopped watching that around season 3 and laughed at how many other rip off have come into play since that was released - I admit I will most likely purchase that series, when they stop production ... as for the rest -

anything with a teenybopper only cast - gets a rating like Buffy from us. I'd rather watch a cheesy 80's V rendition as opposed to a cast of selfies shooting the breeze. Much of the industry seem very cheesy with the ease at producing these days that it's no wonder 8 out of every 10 shows, movies or whatever that hits the screen, is nothing more than a cheap copy of what's already been done. No doubt some of us are getting to old ... LOL ... I need to paint my own series.

Now it's time for bed - forgive the pissed of tone - I think its that shit music still playing in my head. ;)