amielou
01-22-2014, 09:03 AM
Yeah i'm starting to realise my problem is being friends with girls. I am a 29 year old girl with anxiety and paranoia which has developed into a depression, i've always had a lot of male friends because I had some bad experiences with bitchy nasty girls at school but in the past few years have managed to build up a good circle of girl friends yet I don't feel like I can trust them even though I have no reason not to. Without sounding totally arrogant I know I am a really good friend to all of them, I take time out from myself and my life if they need me, make effort to contact them and am just always there for them, on my birthday I was the only person all year any of them bought presents for and they all did individually which made me feel so loved and liked. I feel so ungrateful because I know i'm lucky to have friends, let alone friends who obviously care about me like these do. So why do I feel so unhappy and untrusting of them? I genuinely dread situations when we're all out together, I read far too much into whose making eye contact because that must mean they like that person more than me, who hugs who first, and all this rubbish that doesn't even need to be considered. I am driving myself mad! It's like I only want to see them one on one because I can't deal with the idea that they might 'prefer someone else to me'. It's making things very hard for me, I don't enjoy life a the moment and I just want to be happy with what i've got and to enjoy the friendships that I have.