I'm having one of my bad days again

[Ali_Cat]

I want to relapse so badly, I have days where it's really bad and my brain basically plays through every mistake I've ever made, followed by what ifs and it always makes me feel 10x worse than I did before.
Tonight I've been close to tears for the past couple of hours and thinking about cutting again.
I just feel really alone.

[HockeyRules]

I want to relapse so badly, I have days where it's really bad and my brain basically plays through every mistake I've ever made, followed by what ifs and it always makes me feel 10x worse than I did before. Tonight I've been close to tears for the past couple of hours and thinking about cutting again. I just feel really alone.

Think positive.......your are not perfect and neither is anyone else in this world. The what if's are just your brain trying to spank you. Think about one positive memory and fixate on it. Everyone of us has the what if syndrome.......all it does is bring us down. I bet the actuality of your what ifs are the opposite of what your brain is telling you......Think positive ...we have all made mistakes.....it's what we do today and tomorrow is what's worthy. Forget about yesterday and the past. Look toward !! :)

[Ali_Cat]

Thank you so much for your support!
I'm 17, and my parents don't really get that I definitely do have anxiety and depression. I've been cutting on and off for 3 years now, and I've recently managed to slow it down and not cut anywhere near as much. I had counselling for a year for 'anger management' but it brought up other things. I then went to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) after getting referred, but I only had one session.
I'll do the search when I get home, thank you for your help, it just gets hard sometimes.

[Cimi]

we are here for you. you look amazing in your photo. it is not worthy to harm yourself. you are so beautiful. smile :)

[Ali_Cat]

Yeah, I live in the South of England, It's hard to reach out because I don't want sessions to interfere with my college (I'm in full time)
My friends say I display cat-like tendencies with the way I always like cuddles, having my hair stroked and sitting in random places.