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GeneAllen
01-21-2014, 08:23 AM
Hey folks,

I have a fairly new channel on you tube. I attempt to battle my anxiety here. I also speak of things more toward a spiritual outlook. I share some of

my experiences, and mainly developed the site to benefit me. I want to offer to do topics you pick as well. If I don't know anything about the topic I

will gladly tell you I don't know, and help all I can to direct you to someone who does. This will resonate with some, but not all. It's just another

resource. I have spent years counseling people, who like me have dealt with many difficult and even life threatening situations. Please subscribe if

you like, but most importantly really know I care and love you all. I have gained so much from this forum, the people are all wonderful. You are not

alone. This can serve as just one more reminder hopefully. If there is a topic you wish to discuss let me know by PM. I am for all forms of healing,

This is an inclusive channel, everyone is welcome to say whatever they wish, as long as it is done to encourage the community as a whole. Peace

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SaqSe8bT7E&list=UUMV-dZPsac0V6YobMa2yNKg&feature=share

Ponder
01-21-2014, 03:14 PM
I like your line style.

This is encouraging - I am going to check this out. TY

jessed03
01-21-2014, 03:38 PM
It still surpises me, the types of people who develop anxiety/panic attacks. You seem so slow, so laid back, completely on an even keel. I don't know whether you were always like that, or if it's something you've developed. I wouldn't expect much in the world to,stress you, or hype your body up the way it gets during a panic attack, but of course this illness has no prejudices!

I finally see now why you write the way you do!! :) I wondered if it was an editing thing, or a phone mix up, but it matches you way you talk completely!

I liked watching the video, you also have very calming mannerisms, I felt quite calm just from watching. Thanks for sharing Gene.

Ponder
01-21-2014, 03:57 PM
Well Thanks for putting that out there. I don't't like responding in YouTube - I find the comment section there rather limiting as well as to open for my liking.

The camera shake was too much for my concentration level so I plugged in ear phones using a recliner and listened as if a podcast. You tone and pace was more than easy for me to listen to.

I like much of what you said, however the Term GOD really turned me off. Particularly relating things to His Business and then when you were saying what is and is not my business ... well that kind of denoted everything that came before that. As for illness - We are indeed sick people living in a sick world - I have been branded sick on now on disability for it.

Don't get me wrong now, or brand me as a Badge Promoter/Victim Lover - or whatever. I kind of simply disagree towards the end there and as you said, not everyone is going to resonate. I am very much into mindfulness, as it would appear many others are these days. However, as for the world view and the sickness that is going on out there - lets not kid ourselves - We are indeed sick people living in a sick world and this GOD - well - that's yet another figment of mans FEAR sick mind that many take great pride in telling us, how it is we shall suffer if we do not bow down and or go with the flow.

The word God is so worn out and abused - massive trigger for many of us - Like a club!

Telling people what their business is or is not - Trigger there as well, especially when using words like government and the like.

No doubt your context was whatever - but mixing it with GOD and then the business routine was a massive turn off.
__________________________________________________ ________________________________________

I embrace what I must - But God and His business ... and my business ... well ... that's none of your business.

See what I mean. Don't feel to good hey.

Regardless of intent - which I am sure is all good from your angle - I find the advice towards the end religious and offensive from my perspective - Feeling this way in not healthy - there again - some offense taken in telling my that I am not. that's 3 things now - re the part where I say"lets not kid ourselves " I am confused when you talk about meds at first then finish with that? The Gov - and those that subscribe to living as part of it - pffft - no getting away from that if you wish to coexist -

Screw God, Screw religion and Screw being pacified and told I'm not sick and that I don't have any control.

Is that what I got out of that - Yea it is - mores the sickness to me -


Go your hardest Bro -

Peace Out Dave.

em1
01-21-2014, 04:12 PM
Hey folks, I have a fairly new channel on you tube. I attempt to battle my anxiety here. I also speak of things more toward a spiritual outlook. I share some of my experiences, and mainly developed the site to benefit me. I want to offer to do topics you pick as well. If I don't know anything about the topic I will gladly tell you I don't know, and help all I can to direct you to someone who does. This will resonate with some, but not all. It's just another resource. I have spent years counseling people, who like me have dealt with many difficult and even life threatening situations. Please subscribe if you like, but most importantly really know I care and love you all. I have gained so much from this forum, the people are all wonderful. You are not alone. This can serve as just one more reminder hopefully. If there is a topic you wish to discuss let me know by PM. I am for all forms of healing, This is an inclusive channel, everyone is welcome to say whatever they wish, as long as it is done to encourage the community as a whole. Peace http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SaqSe8bT7E&list=UUMV-dZPsac0V6YobMa2yNKg&feature=share

Thank you for sharing :)

Ponder
01-21-2014, 04:34 PM
Side steppers - SIGH. whatever ...

Pokes ya back! Rolls eyes. Quoters Pffft - Must be a God thing. Screw your GOD - and the Government -

Quite insulting actually:

The message is delivered at the end of all the mindfulness banter:

Basically Your not sick, Don't't worry about the Government - that's none of your business - Leave us Preachers to tell you what is and what's not, whilst telling you to keep your nose where it belongs.

I thinks that clearer -> Thanks for sharing BUT -> No Thanks

Skip with a quote and thank for man for that. ;)

jessed03
01-21-2014, 04:59 PM
I don't know what's happened, maybe I've read and listened to so much, maybe being in London I've been hounded by so many religious folk, activists, politicians etc.. But I've sort of developed this feature where I read or listen to something, and only absorb the bits that I like. The rest all just filters out.

I didnt really process any of the stuff you did Ponder. I just had another listen, yeah, I hear that now, towards the end. I'm not too sure what to make of that bit, maybe Gene will address your post further, I'm sure he has some more to add in response to your comments. :)

I just mainly enjoyed the tone of voice you used to describe your mindful way of addressing panic attacks Gene. I found it soothing, as mindfulness is something that transfers into all aspects of life a lot of the time. I liked the bit where you said outdoors was your heaven. Sometimes that's the best I've been able to hope for, reaching a heaven like place outside that's peaceful and serene.

By the way... What was that sound at 5:50?? Sounds like a shooting star fell on your house or something!

NeverToo...Fear
01-21-2014, 05:11 PM
Thanks for sharing, Gene.. every time I read your posts, I now have a proper voice to put to it. :P
But anyways, yeah, I liked your laid back voice and how you say to live in the now. Enjoy the moment you are in. And the birds in the background chirping add to a nice calm.

I listened to it twice and I didn't hear any mention of God... I do have a pretty good God filter though.... eh okay, third time around I heard it!

And yeah, I don't know what that sound was at 5:50 but it scared the crap out of me. I was all calm and relaxed until THAT sound came from nowhere--whatever it was.

NixonRulz
01-21-2014, 05:22 PM
Gene I thought this was really good. Not scripted and felt from the heart.

I tend to agree with Jesse about listening to something and relating the pieces that mean something to you.

We all have our different opinions on what does and doesn't work.

What I find odd, this is the second time this week we are debating God.

If God was there for Gene, whether real or in his mind, it helped him. I'm with Gene on this one but I have no problem with people that don't believe.

One thing that bothers me through the debate is, if someone says mediation helped them, no one that doesn't believe in meditation starts getting upset

When someone mentions God, it seems lately that people take it as religion being shoved down your throat.

Everyone needs to understand that we share differing opinions. That's great. Good conversations

When people start ranting about how someone is wrong for believing in a higher power when they mention what helped in passing, you lose the debate immediately.

A reply such as "Gene , great post. I'm not on board with everything you say but I enjoyed hearing about your experience."

Point was made. It was nice. You don't come across as being too opinionated.

Ponder
01-21-2014, 05:56 PM
I'm sure he will Jesse -

I'm sick Dude - I'm sick.

We all see things differently.

A little conflicted with the beginning of medication, then the talk of not being sick -

The religious and political propaganda of this world is what drives me insane and it's what I picked up towards the end.

Regardless -

My reaction is not a personal attack - it's how I felt at the end as I mentioned.
__________________________________________________ ___

There is a lot of good stuff in that talk -

SHAME! Ties into the stigma that is very much driven by GOV - Church and this GOD to which the name is so screwed.

I know very well the techniques in embracing - just made a post on Tinnitus regarding that.

I guess all those bashing I received under the name of church and state will never have me settle for seeing others live in such comfort at the cost it takes on others as it does. I embrace the pain of such existence to see others despise me the way they do!!! STIGMA again - indoctrinated by church and state.

God's business they say...

I would better comprehend this talk if in some cosmic way - the thing about who's business is who with mention of state is simply too much for many of us INDEED sick ones resultant from church and state. People are so full of themselves to justify their blissful existence and or utopian goals and capitalist hoardings for the present which never comes but for that promise of riches being stock pile in heaven as they do their deeds. Greed in feelings and status to only feel the blissful emotions that pleasantries brings.

Though we be sickened and suffer illness to an otherwise natural state of being - those would be workers, well equipped and educated professional socializing elites - are in fact more blinded by their own Egos in how well they think they be! But at what cost - to say we are not sick - that we should know our place as it be this so called glorified being - called God - that it be his business how things should be. FEAR - instilled by Man and used by those who live in such comfort as to again justify what is or is not our business - what is our place and so on and on.

Political Church and state BS wrapped up in new age thinking with a little mystical cosmic BS thrown in. Mindfulness now thrown into the mix. It's extremely complicated sifting through this stuff and for sure man - gleaning what you can is the way to go - I have too said this before.

I'm sick dude - but neither do I think I need the meds that I have tried - yet another trigger to hear the encouragement to be pacified. Church and state and all those that love this new age blissful seeking would have us all doped up to keep us from making a mess or this mystical figure of theirs -GOD- forbid we shed some light on the real sickness that plagues this world.

WORK and Socializing - yet more terms that relate more to "fitting in" rather than is coming naturally to us.

Dude - you have to get a course in everything these days - WORK is such an evil word now - if you don't't work you are essentially DEAD WEIGHT - and the Church and State and all those who want THINGS and love status to show themselves of now naturally Despise those that do not work. Socializing - not all of us want to fucking socialize - we are happy to simply just do that in here and be done with it.

All Humans are SICK BEINGS - those that think they are well are even sicker than us - we be sick because of the truth we see and the disgust turned back on us for appearing to be in someone else business to let them know.

I don't't know - reach my limit here yet again -

I'm disgusted and tired with all the show offs having to demean me in order to make themselves feel better - fucked if I will dope myself up for that - I will get fit in order to embrace what must be embraced - then and only then can I continue to breath this fresh air now on offer - otherwise I will do my best to get in and out as quick as I can - If I have a fucking fit - then let them ring the police - screw their faces up and crucify me as the will it to be.

Nothing personal to the OP - but triggered none the less. Getting fit means dealing with this shit - I am hurting because I know I will never work again - because I know I don't fit in - because I can't handle living as a digitized number having to scan my letters, cards and whatever. Do us a favour and bring out the number of the beast. I'd be happy to bring all this scanning down to either my hand or head - much simpler that way!

No one calls each other by name - "There that guys there driving the whatever - living in that house - waring that hat - There that go who Works at bla bla - what do you do - and then lastly where ever I go - that damn advertising to consume and consume.

Fuck all people, places and things! ----------------- of course if I had a JOB, was Medicated and had Religion - then I could see as others so clearly do.
__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _________________________________

Hey Jesse - THANKS for responding to me in the manner you did. You have tact and I appreciate that man.
I'm nearing the time where those in Authority about give me the flick. There is no easy way for me to sit by and let this shit fly.

I remain remorseful yet prisoner to this world - Not just my mind - I'll be fucked if I will simply let the world get off that easily. It's why so many people have decided to opt out, whom have no terminal illness - Suicide is still on the way up and the world ice will keep melting until there is no more. Just imagine the bullshit Church< State and the elites will come up with then. All praise be to God.

Man had his chance - I say bring on the extinction that needs to come - but what a sick joke if indeed we find ourselves continuing on - I welcome OBLIVION any day - that to me is the ultimate peace -

I go play in the sand for now.

My apologies all - it's not personal!

I'm not making these feelings up to troll you lot as it were with that other guy that was banned and you made fun about, after that fact. Perhaps soon too - you guys can make pictures of me - and jest on my pain as well. I see now, why I was so hurt reading the posts on him. Humans - we indeed be sick beings.

We target the weak! Animals play the Alpha game so much better than we do - we do it because we are selfish and want more - to feel better - srry Jesse I mean not to argue with you. I just explain how I feel is all.

GeneAllen
01-21-2014, 06:45 PM
It still surpises me, the types of people who develop anxiety/panic attacks. You seem so slow, so laid back, completely on an even keel. I don't know whether you were always like that, or if it's something you've developed. I wouldn't expect much in the world to,stress you, or hype your body up the way it gets during a panic attack, but of course this illness has no prejudices!

I finally see now why you write the way you do!! :) I wondered if it was an editing thing, or a phone mix up, but it matches you way you talk completely!

I liked watching the video, you also have very calming mannerisms, I felt quite calm just from watching. Thanks for sharing Gene.

Thank you Jesse and Ponder,

I had just had a severe panic attack a half hour before this, and felt I needed to do a video for my self to recall. I always hope somewhere someone can relate and

feel helped by the attempt at video making. Yes I am seen as being very calm cool collective, even under severe situations. I guess it's the way I've always been.

Peace folks

GeneAllen
01-21-2014, 07:00 PM
Thanks as well to EM, Nixon and Never too fear.

The way I see it there's not much new just new people saying things in a lot of differing ways. I like the filter comment Jesse, and when watching listening to anyone I

always take what I enjoy, and leave the rest behind. I understand they're just talking "about it". However we define "it" is fine, that's what being real is to me.

Peace friends

Dahila
01-21-2014, 08:43 PM
Nice of you making the videos. Nice;)

Ponder
01-21-2014, 09:04 PM
Gene Allan -

I was diagnosed Borderline Paranoia not that long ago at the local base hospital. It's why the good doctor decided to treat my anxiety with schizophrenia medication - not for schizophrenia, but more for the extreme anxiety I seem to suffer.

I'm sorry I am so easily triggered. I have been off my meds, but had to due putting on so much weight.

I really don't know anymore and am sorry for skitzzing out. :(

Honestly man - best wishes with your channel.

Dahila
01-21-2014, 09:08 PM
Ponder I think Gene will understand, you need to set your G filter higher:) , I try to:)

GeneAllen
01-22-2014, 05:14 AM
Ponder and Dahila,

I appreciate you checking it out. You're surely welcome. Thank you all for the input. I have a "g' Filter too, and use the word reluctantly at times to relate and

include those who don't have that filter. Old used up and worn out words. So much conditioning in the past about it for me. Peace to all.

jessed03
01-23-2014, 04:38 PM
Gene, out of interest;

When you make a vid like this, how do you prepare for it? Not that I plan to, just curious :)

Do you freestyle as the camera rolls, do you write a mini script of ideas. It's pretty hard to talk about anything for 19 mins straight in front of camera. I have almost 4000 posts, yet, I don't think I could talk about anxiety or mental illness or anything actually for 20mins straight without waffling on or appearing incoherent.

GeneAllen
01-23-2014, 06:31 PM
Hey Jesse,

Hope you're well my friend. LOL Know I just freestyle. I don't plan them at all usually. I just go for a walk, or up to do a video, or to enjoy nature, deer, turkey and the like. I already

have my camera most times, sometimes I might just have the cell, but I will get inspired about something I see or think, or a topic I heard someone speak of. I feel a bit incoherent and

scattered, but I write the same way usually. I'm a song writer so when a song comes it goes onto paper, then it's put away and never edited. I used to do the same with poetry. It

actually has been rewarding, and I do it mainly for me, but do get emails, and have the opportunity to help people sometimes, or at least give them my point of view. When entrusted

with another's life story it brings great pleasure if I can help them brainstorm and come to their greatest answer for them. I have found people throughout my life have enriched me

always, even the ones who disagree with my points of interest or views etc. I purposely have worked in high contrast jobs, usually one foot in one job and the other in another field

seemingly unconnected. Thank you Peace ;)

GeneAllen
01-24-2014, 09:02 PM
It's been a good things posting this video. Thanks All! Peace

jessed03
01-27-2014, 02:18 PM
Gene, did you make up the quote in your sig?

GeneAllen
01-27-2014, 02:20 PM
LOL. Yepper. Peace

Well as far as I know I did? I binged it, and found no others with it yet.

jessed03
01-27-2014, 02:26 PM
It's just... so simple, so perfect. Why has something so enlightening never been said before!!

Nicely done Gene!

shonaat
01-27-2014, 02:27 PM
I also do youtube videos with other people to help with social anxiety :)
Www.youtube.com/shonaat

GeneAllen
01-27-2014, 02:27 PM
It most likely has Jesse. There's not much new under the old sun. LOL It came to me a short while ago. I find it very true for myself. Hidden in plain sight like most stuff. Peace

jessed03
01-27-2014, 02:32 PM
It most likely has Jesse. There's not much new under the old sun. LOL It came to me a short while ago. I find it very true for myself. Hidden in plain sight like most stuff. Peace

True, true. But as Ponder will tell you, regarding the way this capitalist world works, it's not about who said it first that matters, but who can copyright it in time ;)

GeneAllen
01-27-2014, 02:37 PM
It's not mine. Anyone can have it. It's a collective work anyway. Cooperation not competition. Now doesn't that sound whacked? LOL Thanks Jesse