Hi guys

[Sundance]

Well, where do I begin. I will try to tell you my story without being too verbose. My anxiety started in High School. I noticed it for the first time when I was having to do an algebra problem on the board. See, my ears apparently started to turn red. One of the class jerks decided to point it out, and my face (head, actually) turned as red as a cooked crawfish.

Since then, this has occurred more and more frequently, and has developed into full-out social anxiety of the highest order. I Also worry obsessively. What's kind of funny about me, though, and I am actually curious how many people are like this, is that I am a very aggressive person socially (extrinsically, anyway). I have a college degree and work in a field that requires me to be very confident in front of people (and do PRESENTATIONS, gasp). Well, my anxiety caused my performance to suffer, and I lost my job, and then another. My marriage broke up. I lost my house and my car(s). I have lost everything, and my anxiety has turned into INCREDIBLE depression.

Now I am scared to death of job interviews. I am scared to date. I am scared to try what I know I need to do to get out of this rut. I've tried Xanax, Lexapro, and others. I know that I can find a way to beat this without doping myself up. Can anybody offer any suggestions? Please. I can't deal with this any longer.

[SuperMegaRichard]

Go to a rave! :console:
Dunno man, luckly for me being the center of attention isnt a problem.
Sucks though for all those things to happen. Hope you have some money stocked up to get you over the hump.

[LemmycautioN]

It sounds like a vicious circle. The anxiety has caused you these problems, like losing your job, and the problems cause you to have more anxiety - plus depression on top of it. I think that one of the best courses of action for people with social anxiety is cognitive behavior therapy. There are some useful CBT workbooks out there. It's hard when you're in those situations to just try to remember that it's only anxiety (that works better for health-related anxiety types like me). I'd say CBT and maybe some medication if it's necessary would help a lot.

[ron111]

Like many of us here, we are still struggling with anxiety myself included. But, I am doing better than I have in the past. I also have a job that includes a lot of social interaction. I am trying to use that as a positive though. The more I engage and think about talking to another person, the less I am worrying about my health, ect.

My advice is to try to be patient. I don't really get anxiety or panic attacks anymore. But when I do get somewhat bad, its because frustration sets in and I get real upset. I am trying to control that. Also, if I feel anxiety I try to focus on something else. I will probably still feel it. But i'll teach my body not to try to push it away, and I'll show myself that I can still function if I do feel it. My anxiety is going to take an interesting twist. I have law school coming up in 6 months or so. I think it could end up great because I will be so concentrated on school that I won't think as much about my anxiety or I could break down. However, i'm telling myself that the former will happen. Because our thoughts provoke our anxiety. It's not the situations. It's just what we perceive the situations to be. So the less thinkign we do about situations or danger, the brain will then emit last anxiety. That's my theory as of now, and I'm doing better. If you have any quetions or want to talk. I'm on almost everyday.

[Sundance]

Not a rave kind of guy, but I get your meaning, Lemme. Mega, good observations; it is a vicious cycle. I have anxiety about having anxiety...
Ron (and friends), I would think that if I did not have noticeable manifestations of my anxiety, I would be able to somehow train myself out of the cycle of negative thoughts. I have read, studied, talked, contemplated about this for 15 years...
I, too am looking at getting my graduate degree (Computer Science and Mathematics), and I would think that I could "think" my way out of this. It is my thoughts that have become my enemy, though. To get to the real point, though, I blush. I blush at the thought of blushing. And if somebody dares to mention the blushing, well...
How do I defeat this?? It has plagued me for over a decade, and I am tired of it. SICK and tired of it. I have read about having a "Hyperactive Sympathetic Nervous System", and I don't want (or need) surgery. I hate the thought of having to be doped up in a field in which I am working with (even against) the intellectually best of the best (like you are, how are you doing this?).
Have you heard of the Linden(sp) method? Do you know of any other methods that don't involve altering the behavior of my brain cells with drugs? Thanks in advance...

[ron111]

I have not tried any methods. I'm not saying they don't work, but I think it all boils down to changing your thoughts. And truly believing that altering your thoughts will cure this anxiety. I also think its important to get by some of your fears and just accept it as a reality. I don't see anything wrong with blushing. If you do, big deal. That's fine. Evereybody does it. I think if you can learn to accept blushing as not a big deal, you are on the right track.

[Sundance]

OK, Ron. I totally see where you are coming from. As a matter of fact, I have come to that conclusion myself; I think the tough part is consistently being able to keep myself in that 'zone'. I guess it just takes practice, and eventually it will be second nature. Thanks for your input, really. I also think I REALLY need to work on my self esteem...it seems that is the root of my problem. Sad, really, because there is no reason anybody should have a self esteem problem like I have had...