Anxiety when faced with housework

[stp4779]

This seems so silly just typing it into the subject line! I've always had some sort of anxiety but for the past 6 years or so have been on medication and have been doing well managing it.

Then in September we bought a new house and I'm feeling overwhelmed. It's much larger than our old house and needs work. I'll start the day cleaning and end up in tears because nothing feels clean after I've cleaned it. It's an older home, everything feels dingy even after I scrub and scrub. Cleaning reminds me of all the things that need done to the house (refinished floors, new carpet, etc) my mind starts racing, I begin thinking of how much money the projects will cost, then I just lose it and feel like I'll never be happy here.

I've never been a "clean freak" and I've never displayed many OCD tendencies but this house makes me feel like I have no control over my life. In our old house I always felt proud after I cleaned, like I had accomplished something, even though there was nothing spectacular about the house. Now I just feel exasperated and out of control. I don't know why my anxiety manifested itself in this way :(

Thanks for listening!

[stp4779]

I'm new to the forum, I forgot to mention that! Hi everyone :)

[trinidiva]

Try not to feel like you have to finish everything in one day. What I personally started doing when we moved to a bigger place was setting a day to do certain things. One day for cleaning the bathrooms, one day for vacuuming and dusting, one day for mopping, laundry, etc. My house stays clean and I stay sane!!!! Lol.

[trinidiva]

Welcome, by the way!

[Dahila]

Welcome to the forum, I have a huge house and I feel overwhelmed too. I clean washrooms ; Monday , upstairs, then one bedroom, and my computer room, maybe once a week vacuum cleaning...Even if you clean everyday you are not going to finish in two days, do not worry, You are entitled to have a bit of mess in house:) You just need to get to know and eventually love the new place:))

[stp4779]

Thanks everyone for replying. I definitely make sure to set small goals for myself. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. It's been rough but I just need to take it one day at a time.

[stp4779]

Thanks everyone for the responses :) I definitely make sure to set small goals for myself - sometimes it helps, other times it doesn't seem to matter. It's difficult to establish a "relationship" with the house because of my anxiety towards it :(

[stp4779]

That's a great point Frankie, thanks :) We do own it, it's my third house, my husbands first. I'm so jaded by all those design shows on tv - everything becomes gorgeous and tidy in one hour episode - I think I've somehow become impatient with my own home's progress. It's almost like I expect it to be done that fast. I have to keep reminding myself it's the journey, not the destination!

Frankie, are you a moderator on this site?

[Enduronman]

This seems so silly just typing it into the subject line! I've always had some sort of anxiety but for the past 6 years or so have been on medication and have been doing well managing it.

Then in September we bought a new house and I'm feeling overwhelmed. It's much larger than our old house and needs work. I'll start the day cleaning and end up in tears because nothing feels clean after I've cleaned it. It's an older home, everything feels dingy even after I scrub and scrub. Cleaning reminds me of all the things that need done to the house (refinished floors, new carpet, etc) my mind starts racing, I begin thinking of how much money the projects will cost, then I just lose it and feel like I'll never be happy here.

I've never been a "clean freak" and I've never displayed many OCD tendencies but this house makes me feel like I have no control over my life. In our old house I always felt proud after I cleaned, like I had accomplished something, even though there was nothing spectacular about the house. Now I just feel exasperated and out of control. I don't know why my anxiety manifested itself in this way :(

Thanks for listening!

You want mine?? It was BUILT in 1858....try to clean it??...OMG!!!

Welcome...

E-Man:)

[KitahD]

I can never keep my house clean enough...three young kids, two dogs, four cats. I vacuum almost every other day. As soon I clean one mess, another one is made. I'm never satisfied because I think of all the areas I need to organize or declutter. One area at a time doesn't work in my house! Grr. HOWEVER - I should be more grateful that I have a home to clean. Working on that....

[stp4779]

Haha KitahD! I have no kids and no dogs and I still struggle :( I don't know how you do it! We do need to stop and just be happy to have a roof over our heads. It's hard though. It's easy for me to get in the mindset "well if we had better carpet, or refinished hardwood floors, then I wouldn't feel so hopeless about cleaning it."

[stp4779]

E-Man... 1858????? I can't even imagine!!! Ours is 1930. Does it ever bother you if you can't keep it clean?

[Enduronman]

It's just an old ancient brick house with wooden floors, 12' ceilings,...No it doesn't bother me to think about it being super clean friend!! It's got dirt in it, that's oler than dirt!... Underneath of it is really nasty too. eessshhhh....I have had to crawl under there before for wires, plumbing, heating, etc...

I think you live through this STP! Is your house and American Four Square?? 2 story??....I know houses (Historic ones anyway, and built new ones too)...:)

[reese]

I definitely am guilty of this as well, especially when I'm feeling out of control or disorganized elsewhere in life. It's gotten to where I have to have everything put away for me to even attempt to go to sleep. I noticed the less my anxiety is that day, the less my need to obsessively clean is.

[Enduronman]

Geeze...when I was married, I had a housekeeper!...I miss her alot too. The house was clean for (1) day afterwards, 3 kids...LOL! (I miss the housekeeper of course)... :)

[stp4779]

EMan, we have a Tudor style house. It's really quite beautiful, I don't know why I let it upset me so much.

[Enduronman]

Ah yes,..beautiful architecture the Tudor! Usually steeply pitched roofs, distinctive main entry, is yours brick too??... Leaded glass? I love older homes, I worked on them for 30 years!!

Maybe after you get it all cleaned and to your liking, some of this intensity will wear off.. We scrubbed this whole house before we moved in here too. Walls, everything. I think you'll calm down once it's allllll done. :)

[Chatative]

I have the same problem.

I detest things like washing the dishes & cleaning my flat. I used to have no problem doing them, I was even anal about cleaning many years ago. I'm sure I showed some traits of OCD back then :p The problem for me is, actually doing them stresses me out, so I then ignore them & then the clutter & thought of doing them stresses me out even more. Eventually I break & get it all done & everything is ok for a few days but then something throws me & it all starts building up again.

I've been stuck in this cycle for the past 3 months & now I have health anxiety as well!

I think my problem is, I associate doing these household tasks as causing a negative emotion so I try to avoid them. That just makes it worse! Even though I know doing them on a regular basis would cause me less stress, even if I didn't enjoy it much, I just can't do it.

[stp4779]

Chatative, this is EXACTLY how I feel. The thought of doing chores makes me avoid them because I'm afraid of having an "episode." Yesterday I felt anxious about housework, today it seems like the anxiety has shifted to my upcoming honeymoon... ugh. Little bit of agoraphobia going on now.

[stp4779]

I think I thought you were a moderator because you have lots of good advice to give to lots of different people's problems. And you are on here often ;) I wish I could be on here 24/7!

I'm unsure of what my cleaning problem is... I've associated housework with having episodes now (I've had 2 while cleaning), so that makes me put it off and put it off. So when I go to clean I flip out when it's not perfect. So maybe it is a little OCD.

[Chatative]

Chatative, this is EXACTLY how I feel. The thought of doing chores makes me avoid them because I'm afraid of having an "episode." Yesterday I felt anxious about housework, today it seems like the anxiety has shifted to my upcoming honeymoon... ugh. Little bit of agoraphobia going on now.

I saw a Doctor about my anxiety today & he suggested that I set aside 30 minutes at the same time every day to do chores. It doesn't matter whether I finish the chores or not, just that I always spend 30 minutes doing it.

It's an interesting idea but I'm not sure it addresses the problem. I'm going to go along with it & see what happens - it may be hard to do if my health anxiety flares up again.

I managed to spend 4 hours doing dishes & clean today - it was so bad I couldn't stand it... I wish I could do it this easily every day.

Try different types of music perhaps when you do it. The more your singing away the less the negative emotions will associate with the cleaning. At least, that works for me but may be worth a try. I find it acts as a distraction. It's the one good thing about the process of cleaning. The music.

I often do listen to music whilst I am cleaning or cooking. Got some good upbeat playlists that help to distract me! :)

[stp4779]

What sorts of anxiety do you struggle with most?