Feel like im only here whining about myself

[mom23]

I find I feel a little better writing on here about my feelings. Because I really don't talk to anyone about the way I feel. No one will understand if they have not experienced it.
It's been a crappy weekend. I should be happy and enjoying my time with my kids but I feel horrible. My head is spinning and my stomach is upset the anxiety won't go away. I want to cry. This isn't me. I am one to enjoy life. I was often told how happy I always am and how much fun I have with my kids. I post a million pics in Facebook of our adventures. But right now all I want to do is avoid everyone. I want to crawl under a rock. I am at the end of my rope and don't know what to do

[GeneAllen]

We all want attention, what the heck is wrong with that? ;) We all want to crawl under a rock sometimes, so let's do that. Here's what I find, my experience. When

I'm panicky, my normal personality of calm and doubts co-exist and it's fine then anxiety kicks in and I hate my personality and want to change it all, as I see it as

magnified 100 times, and am not accepting of that, therefore the temptation to reject me, of course makes me that much more uncomfortable. When I stay with it in

a conscious aware way, I see it as empty, and a bluff of my mind, which compels me to believe I must be nuts! However as I let it be and stay in it while in a panic, it

cannot and will not be able to remain, it collapses in conscious awareness. Watch it. Patience is not my best trait, but as I stay mindful, I do have it, I just normally

exercise impatience, so it's my teacher, and makes me see I really am patience. Peace

[jessed03]

It's all good, seriously. I've never thought that about you, that you just whinge.

I see somebody trying to process and unload some stuff, that's what this place was designed for.

I like seeing people's progressions actually, many times people post on the forum, and you reply to them, but you never see them again, you never know what changes they made, whether they got better or became worse, whether their problems were solved.

I like seeing people's journey. You may need to 'whinge' a lot now, but hopefully sometime soon, you stumble into a good patch, and it makes all of these less optimistic posts seem really cool, as they were evidence of your journey.

So post away my dear, whatever your mind are fingers are itching to type, I'm gonna be here to read.

And that I guess is my only advice for someone at the end of their rope. Hang on tightly and just work towards and wait for those better days. It's sometimes all we can do during the rough spells. :-/

I'm glad talking helps a little. Have a relaxing night M23

[Dahila]

I think the same as Jessed (nice to see you Jesse:) ) where are you going unload the sadness if not here, here we relate, and understand it:)) Whine as much as you need, we are listening mom, it is going to get easier you will see:)

[mom23]

Have I told you all how awesome you guys are. Thank you for listening and understanding and for all the advice. I hope to feel better soon and be able to make others feel a little better

[GeneAllen]

You already do mom23!

There is not one person on this forum who does not teach me something I need to know about.

I know you will feel better, and you have everything right now to be there. It's amazing what we can hide from ourselves within plain sight. For me it was not about

learning more, it was about removing the walls I built around me, which for me was blaming others. Forgiveness for another cannot for me be realized, until I remove

blame I place, and yes I've blamed myself, had to take that away too, forgiveness is automatic when blame is absent.

Peace

[Dahila]

You already do mom23!

There is not one person on this forum who does not teach me something I need to know about.

I know you will feel better, and you have everything right now to be there. It's amazing what we can hide from ourselves within plain sight. For me it was not about

learning more, it was about removing the walls I built around me, which for me was blaming others. Forgiveness for another cannot for me be realized, until I remove

blame I place, and yes I've blamed myself, had to take that away too, forgiveness is automatic when blame is absent.

Peace
Exactly GeneAllen you are some kind of psychic? :)

[jessed03]

I agree, I often take bits of the strength, determination and positivity people here show, including you mum23, for sure!

Everybody at times wants to throw in the towel, in some aspect of their life, or even life in general. When you see people having really rough days, or periods, and vow to come back stronger - it's inspiring. It gives me energy. Life can beat me down daily, what with the stress of living, and the ugly side humanity can display. I like surrounding myself with those who have fighting spirits, those who have a caring nature, those who look towards a more optimistic future, even though inside they may feel disheartened. You are one of those for sure, so like Gene said, you already give something good back, to me at least :)

Yeah the whole awesome thing, you're gonna make me and Dahila start blushing ;)

[mom23]

Blush away. You guys all deserve it.

[jessed03]

Dahlia, come hide me, my cheeks are going red :o lol

[jessed03]

Thnx Frankie! I needed a days rest I think. :) I meant to reply to your PM, but I have 7 still in my inbox unanswered lol. My minds not in a very organised mood today.

[jessed03]

Yeah a little more refreshed. I was beginning to go blank minded a lot while looking at posts, and talking to people. :)

[jessed03]

Oh ok! I think that's me 90% of the time! It takes a while for things to "connect". Kids say it all the time. They can ask something and there is a big delay before I answer while I'm processing. It is like we are on skype with bad internet speed. :(

That's why you've got to love the internet, you can take 7 or 8 minutes to reply, and people will still thank you for getting back to them so fast, lol.

[mom23]

Thank you Frankie. I'm hoping so too. For everyone❤️

[Enduronman]

I find I feel a little better writing on here about my feelings. Because I really don't talk to anyone about the way I feel. No one will understand if they have not experienced it.
It's been a crappy weekend. I should be happy and enjoying my time with my kids but I feel horrible. My head is spinning and my stomach is upset the anxiety won't go away. I want to cry. This isn't me. I am one to enjoy life. I was often told how happy I always am and how much fun I have with my kids. I post a million pics in Facebook of our adventures. But right now all I want to do is avoid everyone. I want to crawl under a rock. I am at the end of my rope and don't know what to do

I'm always whiny!!.. but then I have to force myself to laugh it off, tough stuff.

E-Man. :)