Does anyone else deal poorly with news of death

[SSMommy]

My goal here is not to be morbid and put thoughts of death or dying into everyone's thoughts but I really want to know if others struggle with this. Today I learned of an old acquaintance (roughly 10
Years ago hung around in the same circle) who lost their 4 year old to cancer. This itself, when I read it, made me start crying. And then after I heard this news, I noticed myself get more and more anxious feeling over the next couple of hours. It brings up so many questions in my mind and upsets me but I can't figure out where it's coming from. Is it empathy? Selfishness because I personalize it and start thinking what ifs? I just feel like sometimes I feel pain so strongly when it comes to things like these but I don't know if it's because it's a fresh reminder of mortality or just sensitivity... I'd like to think its not because I'm totally selfish. This isn't isolated... This is anytime I hear news of someone passing or being very sick. I do have health anxiety but some of that has come from personal experiences. Anyway, just putting this out there because it's very bothersome to me. And how do you deal? Any personal mantras or things you remind yourself of that helps?

[SSMommy]

I want to add that my anxiety has been pretty good for the last couple dAys... Haven't needed a Valium or anything. Have been eating very healthy and taking vitamins which I think has been helping. Vitamin d and a prenatal vitamin.

[Dahila]

I got news about my friend passing , third one in the last 4 months:(

[GeneAllen]

Hello,
Sorry to hear of your friends loss. I think you described all the scenarios this could be and you're right about them all. Struggling with what has happened and our thoughts about what is, is a struggle with no end. We accept what is, or we play with it, argue with it, or try to understand it. This is circular. It can become a tar baby, sticky and negatively affect our life. Of course its normal too. However we can choose how long to do it, it's grief, and it's not what we prefer, but what if everyone dies at the exact time they are supposed too? What if this young gal is better off now, free to live without the body? What if we don't understand? Can we let it just be as it truly is, she is gone, but where did she go? Is there a life after this? Depending on what we believe, we come to our own conclusions. I look at life and death as side by side, my own death is here now, and yet my body is not done. My consciousness, will transcend, and live on. No religion, just my reasoning based on knowing me. Not the body me. Sometimes I feel lost too.
Peace

[NixonRulz]

My goal here is not to be morbid and put thoughts of death or dying into everyone's thoughts but I really want to know if others struggle with this. Today I learned of an old acquaintance (roughly 10 Years ago hung around in the same circle) who lost their 4 year old to cancer. This itself, when I read it, made me start crying. And then after I heard this news, I noticed myself get more and more anxious feeling over the next couple of hours. It brings up so many questions in my mind and upsets me but I can't figure out where it's coming from. Is it empathy? Selfishness because I personalize it and start thinking what ifs? I just feel like sometimes I feel pain so strongly when it comes to things like these but I don't know if it's because it's a fresh reminder of mortality or just sensitivity... I'd like to think its not because I'm totally selfish. This isn't isolated... This is anytime I hear news of someone passing or being very sick. I do have health anxiety but some of that has come from personal experiences. Anyway, just putting this out there because it's very bothersome to me. And how do you deal? Any personal mantras or things you remind yourself of that helps?

I think that is completely normal to feel that way. With anxiety or not.

My niece passed away a few years back. She lived 3 blocks away at my sisters.

For quite a while I thought about my 2 boys passing away.

You never know how strong love really is until you have kids

And I can't imagine how someone moves on when a child does

Most do. I admire them

I hope I never am tested to see how strong I would be

[Enduronman]

I want to add that my anxiety has been pretty good for the last couple dAys... Haven't needed a Valium or anything. Have been eating very healthy and taking vitamins which I think has been helping. Vitamin d and a prenatal vitamin.

This is the good news...you're doing very well! Thank you for sharing this too!! :)

[Enduronman]

"Lost their 4 year old to cancer." Is it empathy?

That even brings a tear to my eye...it is the age of the child,..It is empathy. It's not selfishness as long as you dont direct it at yourself...

I think most of us are somewhat used to the stories and reports of deaths and people passing in their older, elder years..just not stories like this.

That family will be scarred for the rest of their lives in ways that we'll even struggle to comprehend. The thought will always be in their mind, even if they hide it well....


E-Man...

[Dahila]

I never talk or post about the children lost, because it breaks my heart, sorry....

[lizard0921]

Heck yes I do! If I hear about death it bugs me for days and I can't shake the feeling :(

[SSMommy]

Thanks guys... I appreciate it. You're right that it's harder to hear when it's someone younger. Dahlia... Very sorry to hear of your loss. I didn't mean to bring bad things up for anyone. I just really do struggle with things like this on a regular basis so was looking for some input / perspective from people. I agree not a pleasant topic at all. Maybe that's why it bothers me so much.

[Terre Nova]

My goal here is not to be morbid and put thoughts of death or dying into everyone's thoughts but I really want to know if others struggle with this. Today I learned of an old acquaintance (roughly 10
Years ago hung around in the same circle) who lost their 4 year old to cancer. This itself, when I read it, made me start crying. And then after I heard this news, I noticed myself get more and more anxious feeling over the next couple of hours. It brings up so many questions in my mind and upsets me but I can't figure out where it's coming from. Is it empathy? Selfishness because I personalize it and start thinking what ifs? I just feel like sometimes I feel pain so strongly when it comes to things like these but I don't know if it's because it's a fresh reminder of mortality or just sensitivity... I'd like to think its not because I'm totally selfish. This isn't isolated... This is anytime I hear news of someone passing or being very sick. I do have health anxiety but some of that has come from personal experiences. Anyway, just putting this out there because it's very bothersome to me. And how do you deal? Any personal mantras or things you remind yourself of that helps?

Right there with you on that hun! All i can say (helpful or not) pretty much have to keep telling yourself that we go when we go and be as healthy as possible!!
:) <3

[SSMommy]

I think that is completely normal to feel that way. With anxiety or not. My niece passed away a few years back. She lived 3 blocks away at my sisters. For quite a while I thought about my 2 boys passing away. You never know how strong love really is until you have kids And I can't imagine how someone moves on when a child does Most do. I admire them I hope I never am tested to see how strong I would be. How terrible. I agree. It takes a strength that you probably wouldn't have unless forced to have it. And I also hope and pray I'm never forced to deal with something like that. I think that's where my heart goes. It's like a floodgate of emotions, lots of what ifs that generate fear, but Whys and even sometimes guilt in a way. It's hard for me to come to grips with terrible things happening to children and thinking about how careless I've been with life at times. It makes me feel guilty over times which are taken for granted and I guess it's a strong reminder to be present in now. It makes me angry at the world, universe, God... And if it makes me feel that way, I can't even imagine how excruciating it would be for them. Thank you for sharing :) I hope your sister has healed.

[clover]

i feel like this all the time. Everytime i hear or read of something happening to other kids, I think ..what would I do if it ever happen to my 2 boys. Then I start to imagine scenarios, and all the
what ifs" and starts to dream of things happening to my kids....and waking up with heart palpitation. >.<