Chatative
01-18-2014, 08:48 AM
Hey Guys,
Turns out today is a bad day.
Still not sleeping great - I definitely sleep deeper with the Magnesium I've been having but it seems to make me more aware of my dreams & they have started getting quite weird the past few days. Pretty much lay awake from 6am until 8am when I got up too. So great start to the day.
It wasn't so bad at first, bit spaced out but I went for a walk which normally wakes me up. Got back & I've not been in the mood to do anything. I keep looking around & seeing everything that needs done & I just can't get the drive to do it. Then it stresses me out because I know it needs done & if I don't get on top of it, it won't go away. I realise that I've been stuck in this cycle for the past few months... even when I do get on top of everything, within a few days something throws me & it slowly starts building up again. Also now, I start worrying about the fact I need to look for a job & just knowing the sort of anxiety that will cause me (as it does for everyone!), I know this will be getting worse.
Even though I have stopped worrying about my health for now, everything else is just piling up & I don't see an end in sight.
I know that today is a bad day & it makes things seem worse, but it doesn't make it any easier right now.
Hopefully I'll be a bit more upbeat tonight... I tend not to feel anxious or down in the evenings for some reason!
So one word to sum me up right now? Ambivalent. :(
Turns out today is a bad day.
Still not sleeping great - I definitely sleep deeper with the Magnesium I've been having but it seems to make me more aware of my dreams & they have started getting quite weird the past few days. Pretty much lay awake from 6am until 8am when I got up too. So great start to the day.
It wasn't so bad at first, bit spaced out but I went for a walk which normally wakes me up. Got back & I've not been in the mood to do anything. I keep looking around & seeing everything that needs done & I just can't get the drive to do it. Then it stresses me out because I know it needs done & if I don't get on top of it, it won't go away. I realise that I've been stuck in this cycle for the past few months... even when I do get on top of everything, within a few days something throws me & it slowly starts building up again. Also now, I start worrying about the fact I need to look for a job & just knowing the sort of anxiety that will cause me (as it does for everyone!), I know this will be getting worse.
Even though I have stopped worrying about my health for now, everything else is just piling up & I don't see an end in sight.
I know that today is a bad day & it makes things seem worse, but it doesn't make it any easier right now.
Hopefully I'll be a bit more upbeat tonight... I tend not to feel anxious or down in the evenings for some reason!
So one word to sum me up right now? Ambivalent. :(