Hello

[Agowilt]

Hello,

I've led a life of depression and anxiety since I was a boy. The root of it is in my social fear and insecurity, which was developed when I was bullied in school, which made me seek out solitude to avoid mocking and ridicule.

I'm now 25 years old and I have a deep sorrow over the empty life I've lived: a barren social life with few friends that I seldom see, and most of my time spent alone.

I'm not a virgin, but I have never had a relationship. Though a girlfriend is what I yearn for most of all, I'm too apprehensive to seek for one, as I resent the person I am, and I do not see how anyone could come to like me for who I am. I'm also very conscious of my lack of experience in life, socially most of all, and so I'm intimidated by the experience and background of others.

In order to cope with my work and other necessities of my daily life, I hide my sorrow of what I've missed in life and my despair that I'm stuck with myself in a place within and rarely visit it, but there are times when I'm reminded of it and can't run from it. Now is such a time, which is why I decided to seek out a forum where I can talk with other people walking the darker path of life.

Pleased to meet you.

[em1]

Hello there and a very warm welcome to the forum :) you will find so many friendly people on here to chat with anytime of the day and night
You have taken the first steps to helping yours by coming on here so well done
Are you on any medication to help or are you
Against trying any?
Emma

[Agowilt]

Thanks for the friendly welcome. This seems like a good place, with compassionate people willing to help those in need of a friendly voice.

I have seen psychiatrists at different points in my life, though I've given up after some time since I felt it didn't help me; it didn't go anywhere except in circles.

I'm currently taking an antidepressant (Venlafaxin) for my depression and anxiety, yet I'm hesitant at committing to it, as while the medicine suppress my depression and anxiety superficially, it's still there beneath it all. Nor have the medicine helped me taking any steps forward: the medicine only helps me cope with it in my daily life; helps me hide from it.

[NeverToo...Fear]

Hey Agowilt, nice to meet you and very glad you've joined the forums. You'll meet lots of people who can relate and offer much support and advice.. :)

Do you mind if I ask where you are from?

[Dahila]

Welcome to the forum. Em said it all.
You will find support and friends here, and your loneliness will easy....;)

[Agowilt]

Thanks again, I hope I can find the tools to overcome my anxiety here, as well as help others to find theirs.


Do you mind if I ask where you are from?
I'm from Sweden.

[em1]

I completely understand what you're saying about medication but I do think it's a good thing to take for the time being not forever,as a crutch to lean on,we all need a little help
From time to time and maybe you could find another therapist is going to help you move forward and to take the first steps in to your recovery, it will get better, we are all on Here as we are all going through something very similar or the same as each other,be strong knowing your another link to our chain that's growing ever stronger the more members this Forum has :)

[Enduronman]

Welcome friend!! :)


E-Man....

[Enduronman]

Thanks again, I hope I can find the tools to overcome my anxiety here, as well as help others to find theirs.


I'm from Sweden.

Wow...so is my great grandparents. Cool!!!!

[issy]

Hey Agowilt, welcome :) I've just joined too, nice to meet you. Please just remember you are never alone and you have people from all walks of life from around the world that can feel and understand your pain. Always have faith that it can and WILL get better, never lose the hope. First congratulate yourself on the positive brave step you've taken for coming here and expressing yourself today. Well done :)

[Isabelleva]

Hi Agowilt :)

Welcome to the forum! Am pretty new here too but the support on here from others is amazing!

It's good that you have decided to come on here though, definitely a great first step. Do you have anything your interested in? Or fancied taking an interest in? There's many groups online for so many things that you could be involved with. Not all require meeting up so you could always start with that to help your interest to grow and talk to other like minded people :)

And that sounds awful that you were bullied in school :( unfortunately it's never a nice experience and something that we all seem to have at some point in our life. I remember that mine was over the fact I didn't have a mother, so the kids would tease me about it (started at age of 5!) but it is something we all go through, and a lot of the time it's because the bullies are insecure about themselves so pick on others. You shouldn't believe what it is that they say, because you know who you are not them. You have some friends in your life, and they chose to be apart of your life because of who you are. So it's definitely time that you start believing you are great too :) write on a note 'You are great' and stick it on your fridge door, so every time you go past you can remind yourself.

Welcome again!


Ps...You Are Great!

[Cullingford]

Hi Agowilt,
Welcome and very pleased to meet you! They say school days are the best days of your life well im afraid I bloody hated school as well. So we have something in common already.
Have you thought about doing some voluntary work where you would get a chance to meet some new people. I'm only saying this as I did some once and managed to meet some really nice interesting people and I found it a comfortable enviroment to get to know people without too much pressure.
You never know who you might meet. :p