Anxious Abi
01-15-2014, 08:50 PM
Wondering if anyone can relate.
Every so often I experience an intense burst of anxiety and low mood, it seems to come pretty much out of nowhere.
It's almost like it dawns on me what is actually happening, all of the emotion and fear comes to the surface at once. Like i'm experiencing everything that ever made me feel the slightest bit anxious all over again. My thoughts pass from one past even to the next, then the future, all my worries, all the pain. I get confused, my thoughts are all mixed up and before I know it i'm reeling off everything I am scared of.
"People will never understand my problems, I'll never get over this, I will be alone forever with thirty six cats. I'm a terrible friend, they'll stop talking to me soon enough, I don't even know how to have fun anymore" and so on.
I know as soon as I write it down, I'm doing all the things I shouldn't, predicting, being self critical et cetera, but in the moment, I can't help but grieve for the life I want to have, the things I miss out on because I'm too afraid. I'm not sure if this makes any sense, or maybe I am going really off topic, I can't tell I'm so tired.
Anyway here a list I typed up from Therapy, I suppose it's really what I should focus on, but maybe it will help someone else too.
Unhelpful Thinking Habits
Type’s of thinking that worsen mood and anxiety and alternative thought suggestions.
Mental Filter; Noticing only the negative, readily dismissing the more positive.
Ask yourself am I only noticing the bad stuff? Am I filtering out the positives? Am I wearing those ‘gloomy specs’? What would be more realistic?
Mind Reading; Assuming you know what someone else is thinking.
Am I assuming I know what others are thinking? What’s the evidence? Those are my own thoughts, not theirs. Is there another, more balanced way of looking at it?
Prediction; Believing you know how something is going to be in the future.
Am I thinking that I can predict the future? How likely is it that that might really happen?
Compare and Despair; Seeing only the good in someone else, comparing yourself negatively against them.
Am I doing that ‘compare and despair’ thing? What would be a more balanced and helpful way of looking at it?
Critical Self; Putting yourself down, over criticizing and blaming yourself.
There I go, that internal bully’s at it again. Would most people who really know me say that about me? Is this something that I am totally responsible for?
Should and Must; Putting pressure on yourself thinking I should or shouldn’t, putting pressure on yourself with unrealistic expectations.
Am I putting more pressure on myself, setting up expectations of myself that are almost impossible? What would be more realistic?
Catastrophising; Always assuming the worst will happen.
OK, thinking that the worst possible thing will definitely happen isn’t really helpful right now. What’s most likely to happen?
Mountains and Molehills; Exaggerating the risk of danger, or the negatives. Minimizing the odds of how things are most likely to turn out, or minimising positives.
Am I exaggerating the risk of danger? Or am I exaggerating the negative and minimizing the positives? How would someone else see it? What’s the bigger picture?
Black and White; Insisting things are all one way, good or bad, right or wrong, only seeing the negative side of things.
Things aren’t either totally white or totally black – there are shades of grey. Where is this on the spectrum?
Memories; Thinking of distressing or emotional memories can often trigger feelings of upset and anxiety in the here and now, prompting your mind to perceive danger where there is none.
This is just a reminder of the past. That was then, and this is now. Even though this memory makes me feel upset, it’s not actually happening again right now.
Emotional Reasoning; Putting importance on negative emotions, such as thinking that because you feel hopeless, there is no hope.
Just because it feels bad, doesn’t necessary mean it is bad. My feelings are just a reaction to my thoughts.
Lesson I have learnt writing this, I need to write my thoughts down in my journal more often, as it seems once I get it out I can see for myself where I am going wrong and how in the end I am making myself feel worse.
Thank you for the outlet.
Abi
Every so often I experience an intense burst of anxiety and low mood, it seems to come pretty much out of nowhere.
It's almost like it dawns on me what is actually happening, all of the emotion and fear comes to the surface at once. Like i'm experiencing everything that ever made me feel the slightest bit anxious all over again. My thoughts pass from one past even to the next, then the future, all my worries, all the pain. I get confused, my thoughts are all mixed up and before I know it i'm reeling off everything I am scared of.
"People will never understand my problems, I'll never get over this, I will be alone forever with thirty six cats. I'm a terrible friend, they'll stop talking to me soon enough, I don't even know how to have fun anymore" and so on.
I know as soon as I write it down, I'm doing all the things I shouldn't, predicting, being self critical et cetera, but in the moment, I can't help but grieve for the life I want to have, the things I miss out on because I'm too afraid. I'm not sure if this makes any sense, or maybe I am going really off topic, I can't tell I'm so tired.
Anyway here a list I typed up from Therapy, I suppose it's really what I should focus on, but maybe it will help someone else too.
Unhelpful Thinking Habits
Type’s of thinking that worsen mood and anxiety and alternative thought suggestions.
Mental Filter; Noticing only the negative, readily dismissing the more positive.
Ask yourself am I only noticing the bad stuff? Am I filtering out the positives? Am I wearing those ‘gloomy specs’? What would be more realistic?
Mind Reading; Assuming you know what someone else is thinking.
Am I assuming I know what others are thinking? What’s the evidence? Those are my own thoughts, not theirs. Is there another, more balanced way of looking at it?
Prediction; Believing you know how something is going to be in the future.
Am I thinking that I can predict the future? How likely is it that that might really happen?
Compare and Despair; Seeing only the good in someone else, comparing yourself negatively against them.
Am I doing that ‘compare and despair’ thing? What would be a more balanced and helpful way of looking at it?
Critical Self; Putting yourself down, over criticizing and blaming yourself.
There I go, that internal bully’s at it again. Would most people who really know me say that about me? Is this something that I am totally responsible for?
Should and Must; Putting pressure on yourself thinking I should or shouldn’t, putting pressure on yourself with unrealistic expectations.
Am I putting more pressure on myself, setting up expectations of myself that are almost impossible? What would be more realistic?
Catastrophising; Always assuming the worst will happen.
OK, thinking that the worst possible thing will definitely happen isn’t really helpful right now. What’s most likely to happen?
Mountains and Molehills; Exaggerating the risk of danger, or the negatives. Minimizing the odds of how things are most likely to turn out, or minimising positives.
Am I exaggerating the risk of danger? Or am I exaggerating the negative and minimizing the positives? How would someone else see it? What’s the bigger picture?
Black and White; Insisting things are all one way, good or bad, right or wrong, only seeing the negative side of things.
Things aren’t either totally white or totally black – there are shades of grey. Where is this on the spectrum?
Memories; Thinking of distressing or emotional memories can often trigger feelings of upset and anxiety in the here and now, prompting your mind to perceive danger where there is none.
This is just a reminder of the past. That was then, and this is now. Even though this memory makes me feel upset, it’s not actually happening again right now.
Emotional Reasoning; Putting importance on negative emotions, such as thinking that because you feel hopeless, there is no hope.
Just because it feels bad, doesn’t necessary mean it is bad. My feelings are just a reaction to my thoughts.
Lesson I have learnt writing this, I need to write my thoughts down in my journal more often, as it seems once I get it out I can see for myself where I am going wrong and how in the end I am making myself feel worse.
Thank you for the outlet.
Abi