Is it meant to be this difficult?

[MandieeBearr]

Hey everyone. One of my New Years resolutions was to overcome my GAD and my social anxiety, and I knew when I started back at school it'd be a great opportunity to challenge myself. Before the winter break I'd come to school late so I wouldn't have to sit in my base classroom with people I didn't know and had had fights with, I never put my hand up, and getting called on by a teacher made me go red. I feel like I've been doing really well since I went back and I'm so proud of myself, but sometimes it just gets so hard. I get exhausted and I want to give up trying to overcome my fears and telling myself that I control my thoughts, they don't control me. I want to stop being friendly to everybody and withdraw again. Of course there are some days where I don't want to do that at all but other times I just get so tired of putting myself out there. Is it normal to have this problem most of the time, and will I overcome it? Thank you :)

[NixonRulz]

Hey everyone. One of my New Years resolutions was to overcome my GAD and my social anxiety, and I knew when I started back at school it'd be a great opportunity to challenge myself. Before the winter break I'd come to school late so I wouldn't have to sit in my base classroom with people I didn't know and had had fights with, I never put my hand up, and getting called on by a teacher made me go red. I feel like I've been doing really well since I went back and I'm so proud of myself, but sometimes it just gets so hard. I get exhausted and I want to give up trying to overcome my fears and telling myself that I control my thoughts, they don't control me. I want to stop being friendly to everybody and withdraw again. Of course there are some days where I don't want to do that at all but other times I just get so tired of putting myself out there. Is it normal to have this problem most of the time, and will I overcome it? Thank you :)

Hi, Mandiee. Glad that you joined us

I pretty much had most anxiety disorders but the social anxiety

There will be others that could probably give you some better advice than I

For some reason, I always loved being around people. I do it for them. LOL

The one thing that caught my attention in your post is how you try to tell yourself that you control your thoughts

Unfortunately, we can't really control our thoughts. Only how we react to them.

When I use to try and distract myself for years (unsuccessfully, I might add) the harder I tried not to think of something, the more it came at me

When you have a thought that concerns you, ask yourself if you are really in any danger or a bad situation or is it your anxiety showing it's ugly face

Just the split second you think like that doesn't allow your mind to automatically shift into a negative gear

Just another thing - I think it's great that you are proud of yourself since you went back

Good to see you know when to celebrate the successes

I wish you well!

[Lord Jazzinho]

Hi, Mandiee. Glad that you joined us

I pretty much had most anxiety disorders but the social anxiety

There will be others that could probably give you some better advice than I

For some reason, I always loved being around people. I do it for them. LOL

The one thing that caught my attention in your post is how you try to tell yourself that you control your thoughts

Unfortunately, we can't really control our thoughts. Only how we react to them.

When I use to try and distract myself for years (unsuccessfully, I might add) the harder I tried not to think of something, the more it came at me

When you have a thought that concerns you, ask yourself if you are really in any danger or a bad situation or is it your anxiety showing it's ugly face

Just the split second you think like that doesn't allow your mind to automatically shift into a negative gear

Just another thing - I think it's great that you are proud of yourself since you went back

Good to see you know when to celebrate the successes

I wish you well!

Not to be argumentative But I've found you can control your thoughts to a degree its all in how they start. For me they start like picture of a word coming into to focus, just at the point where you can make out what they are you have the choice focus on them and let them run or look at something else and go down another line. When I realised this at first, when negative thoughts that I didn't want came to my mind, I would tell them to F off by vocalising it then after a short time I would just think F off then they stopped coming all together. The important thing is to have something else positive or at least neutral that is sufficiently entertaining enough focus on instead like for instance a favourite hobby, film, Idea, song, what to have for dinner, T.V programme etc. Now I can't say that when I was in a heightened state (chronic anxiety, panic attack, rage) I could do this but what I can say is if you can do this you don't often get to those heightened states in the first place. So I would say to anybody Try this what exactly do you have to lose?

[NixonRulz]

Not to be argumentative But I've found you can control your thoughts to a degree its all in how they start. For me they start like picture of a word coming into to focus, just at the point where you can make out what they are you have the choice focus on them and let them run or look at something else and go down another line. When I realised this at first, when negative thoughts that I didn't want came to my mind, I would tell them to F off by vocalising it then after a short time I would just think F off then they stopped coming all together. The important thing is to have something else positive or at least neutral that is sufficiently entertaining enough focus on instead like for instance a favourite hobby, film, Idea, song, what to have for dinner, T.V programme etc. Now I can't say that when I was in a heightened state (chronic anxiety, panic attack, rage) I could do this but what I can say is if you can do this you don't often get to those heightened states in the first place. So I would say to anybody Try this what exactly do you have to lose?

I agree with most of what you state

You can change thought patterns by whatever means works

What I was saying, you can't control what pops in your mind

You can however, not give it any power and just let it slip away

[Lord Jazzinho]

I agree with most of what you state

You can change thought patterns by whatever means works

What I was saying, you can't control what pops in your mind

You can however, not give it any power and just let it slip away

Yeah thats about the size of it between the 2 us we got there :)

[alexmc]

Hi MandieeBear.

Hang in there. You are a beautiful creature. I think you need to look at a couple things a little differently. The REALLY worked for me.

The absolute key about being in control is not trying to be in control. Catch yourself trying to be in control and put a stop sign in front of it.

What your mind has gotten really good at is scaring yourself, so good that is it impacting your feelings and lifestyle. It has had so much practice that it does this as a second nature. I urge you to try the following for a couple of days.

In the morning when you wake up, for the first 5 minutes count how many negative thoughts you think. Mark the number on paper. Count how many good thoughts you have in the same time. See how they the negative outweighs the positive.

You need to re-train your thought patterns and catch yourself thinking the negative "what if" thoughts. 'What if' thoughts really suck ! :)
What if the teacher calls upon me??? Change that silly thought to "So what if the teacher calls upon me. It honestly is not a big deal"
Catch your thoughts when they spit out negative and unrealistic thoughts

Lastly and just as important focus on the precious present moment. Focus on what is happening here and now. Catch yourself drifting off into your mind that has been conditioned to scare you and worry you. Once you change your thought process (change the negatives/unrealistic fears into positive situations) you will be well on your way to recovery... Don't be discouraged that it doesn't start working immediately.. I has taken for your brain to be a perfectionist on negatives but you have the power to change that.