death of friend

[jjh333]

One of my best friends suffered from a lot of the same demons as me: on and off anxiety and depression symptoms. We could talk all the time and I knew he would always understand no matter how "crazy" I felt I was being. He took his own life about a month ago. At first I felt like I should take some blame because I knew about a lot of his sadness when his own family and twin did not even know. When I get anxious now, my immediate reaction is to go to him for help or a positive thought, and then I realize I will never be able to text him for thoughts or advice. Basically, I am just wondering some advice of how to overcome this new cycle of anxiety where I can't talk to him and then I become more anxious.

[Dahila]

My friend, so close to my heart lost her battle to cancer 4 weeks ago, I can relate. I repeat our conversation in my head like a tape. All over and again.... The though that I will not see her again is just killing me, I do understand how you feel. Do not blame yourself, you could not change it anyway...

[GeneAllen]

My condolences for your loss, both of you. Peace

[NixonRulz]

Its easy to take blame when someone passes, especially a good friend

But one thing you know is because you suffer with similar things, you understand how easily it can be hidden and often is

It wasnt your place to speak to someone about his issues. Im sure you didnt see this coming and it was a shock to you

Dont beat yourself up. You dont need more on your plate than you should

Im sure you were a great friend and helped him as much as you could

Its not your cross to bare . That was his choice.

[JLBnole68]

Sorry to both of you. It's never easy to lose a friend or loved one, regardless of how or why. Much love and peace to you both.

[jjh333]

thanks for the replies all, the support helps a lot

[Enduronman]

We're all here for you Jillian...always, a button push away. .....

[Darwin]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad to suicide a little more than a year ago and all I can say is that little by little, with time, things will get better. I still struggle everyday but I do feel like each day I'm a bit closer to accepting it.

Take care of yourself and if you need to talk don't hesitate.

[jjh333]

Thanks guys, I've been having a hard time with it tonight

[srs170]

I know im a stranger, but if you ever need to talk about your anxiety with anyone just message me. I feel like im emotionally losing the one person who i can talk to about my anxiety and depression and it hurts a lot to have to suppress my feelings. Even though i cant relate entirely to your situation, it sounds very painful and I can only imagine what youre going through. If you ever need someone to talk to id be glad to reach out. Im very sorry for your loss and i hope things get better for you

[ab123]

I'm really sorry for your loss, it is a big shock to your system to try to get used to the new normal you will now be dealing with. Look how strong you are to come ask for advice! That's amazing. Greif can be very debilitating and it sounds like you're trying to work through it the right way. Your friend is no longer in pain now, and can live on through your thoughts. Time heals all wounds..

[issy]

So sorry for your loss. I have lost someone too and the regrets and what if's that take over your mind and heart weigh you down. But one thing I had to do after a long while of feeling this way was tell myself, there is nothing I can change now and I have my sanity to think about otherwise I will never live the life I crave. Your dear friend would not want you feeling this way, they would have wanted happiness for you at all costs. It's true what ab123 said time does heal wounds, although never completely gone they heal x