coping with the advice from others that makes it so much worse

[bittersweetgirl]

How do you guys deal with these situations? I'm dealing with major anxiety, and some of my friends are aware of it. A couple of them have been helpful and supportive, and some have tried to be. I don't expect anyone to jump through hoops for me, and I know it's hard to deal with me - I totally get it, and I'm stressed about that too (just add it to the list! :) ). But the terrible advice makes me want to shut myself off from these people, or chew them out for being so insensitive to me and everyone with anxiety/depression. I'm guessing the first option is the best one, but maybe there's another way. Do I just pretend I'm fine (I'm in an outpatient treatment program, so it's hard to hide what's going on)? Do I shut them off for now? Thank them for their concern? How do you handle it?

I'm talking about advice like "Just move on!" "Be grateful for what you have!" "It could be so much worse!" "You've got so many great things in your life!" "Don't have regrets!" "Yay! Congrats on your breakup! Now move on", "You'll find someone much better!" On and on. I'm sure you've heard some of these things.

I'm grateful for what I have. My anxiety is STILL HERE, despite all my gratefulness, despite the advice. I screw up important relationships because of my anxiety. I want to fix it. People are making it worse with what I interpret as insensitivity, even if they mean well. I mean, do they honestly expect me to drop out of the treatment program now? I feel like they're saying I'm being self-centered to get help.

[em1]

Ok firstly think of yourself here,your the one that's going through this not them,if they had my clue of how this feels just for a day then they would not be so insensitive to your situation
Please don't give up on your program keep at it
Don't try and fix other people it's there problem not yours,you will get there and you will succeed
You are strong

[bittersweetgirl]

Thank you Em :) You're right - if they knew what it felt like... it's nothing anyone would choose. I'd happily "move on" if I could do it so easily. I'll talk to the counselors tomorrow about it, and see what their advice is too. It's that gratefulness thing... I don't feel that's what at the core of this - I'm being torn apart by this anxiety.
Thanks again for helping and understanding :)


Ok firstly think of yourself here,your the one that's going through this not them,if they had my clue of how this feels just for a day then they would not be so insensitive to your situation
Please don't give up on your program keep at it
Don't try and fix other people it's there problem not yours,you will get there and you will succeed
You are strong

[Enduronman]

Grrr...Yes, we have all heard these things.
The phrases, sentences, quotes, come from other people who are not experiencing any sort of "trauma" as you are.
Words and talk are cheap, ignore the fact that they "think" you just say...oh, just move on and all that other shit..BUT, do not smack down their "attempts" to support you.
They don't know any better, they don't know what else to say, they don't know what else to do,..although they all would, if they did..
It's kind of like what one would say to a person or friend that lost someone close to them, forever...People generally, just don't know what to say, but we want to do more.
They feel helpless, to help you, they feel mentally baffled themselves because they simply don't know what to say or do to really help you.
If you were in "their" shoes, you would more than likely, do the same...say the same...Just move on, it could be worse, hang in there, yadda yadda....
Don't alienate them from your life, or even say anything about it either...just accept the fact that essentially we're all helpless to help you, only you can help you...

Your anxiety will remain there, until you decide to let it go...send a pm to Ashlee, she can give you some insight on how to let "it" (anxiety) go.....

Hope that helps you, we're all here to help. And as EM stated, don't try to fix other people it is their problem not yours...just let the words bounce off.

E. :)

[bittersweetgirl]

Thanks E :) Much to think about here... I can try to be more understanding of others, and interpret their comments in a more positive way. I think maybe I'll have to be as neutral as possible in my response. Can't agree with them, but I won't try to educate either :).

I actually rather like that idea that all are essentially helpless to help me, and it's up to me - if I can conquer this, even a little bit, it's something to be proud of.

[Enduronman]

I actually rather like that idea that all are essentially helpless to help me, and it's up to me - if I can conquer this, even a little bit, it's something to be proud of.

Something to be very proud of..even just a teeny bit. Still means progress. :)