Problems with my Depression

[Kyle Morgan]

Throughout the last few years I have suffered with anxiety and depression. I have been having panic attacks for the past few months. I have attempted to kill myself a number of times because my dad had left, and all my parents would do was fight. I recently have had a female friend for the past few months, we were getting along fine. I had to tell her months ago about my depression because I had to have a little break off college, and she told me that I could always talk to her and that I could confide in her as a friend. However ever since she seen my male friend bothering with me a month ago she has been acting cold and standoffish to me. I have recently found out that my male friend had been saying things to her on Facebook a few times. I never knew about this, a few weeks ago my female friend cried to me about what my male friend was doing. I got so annoyed with my male friend that I did threaten to go to the police unless he deleted all the fake Facebook accounts he made. I told her that I will help her and be there for her if she had any more problems.
This Girl told me she's still my friend but she can't give me a lift anymore to the college because she needs to pick up her female friends and there's no space. I think that I've blown it with this girl, because of my anxiety I think I've been too clingy towards her but I care about her as a friend only. I would send messages to her 3-4 times a week and I realise it was too much. Since I won't be having lifts with her anymore I want to ask her if she would like to hangout as friends because I want to get to know her better, Also where would could I take her if she said yes. I'm nervous because she is my next door neighbour too, I think that she doesn't trust me as much now because of what my male friend did. However my mother said she sees her sometimes and she always waves and says hello to my mother. Me and my female friend are both 18 by the way, How could I ask her to hang out just as friends.
I don't have a lot of friends, I am 18 and I have been suffering with Panic attacks and depression since I was 15, and I think that it's taken over my life a bit, I can't go on buses, can't go to parties, festivals, etc.
I feel like I need to tell people what I'm going through because I have almost killed myself multiple times already, but the thing is though I feel like I'm driving people away. I've already felt like I've driven this girl away, she'll talk to me in person and a few months ago she said she would support me, I want to hang out with her just as friends to get to know her better. I know she will say no though. She lives next door to me and I really care about her, and I panic that I care too much about her because I don't know her well enough. I've already lost many friends in the last year because of this and me and her were getting along fine too. I'm not close to my father at all, he just shouts at me for having depression. How can I get over my depression and how can I ask this girl to hang out?

[Dahila]

Therapy is required and visit to psychiatrist, because the panic attacks in such young age can be cured.... Do not worry others will post some sound advice too:))) Take care Kyle:)

[Ashlee13x]

Firstly, are you taking any meds or having any therapy?? I'm really sorry that you feel you have got no way out but I promise you.. there are people out there who can help! You have done the right thing by joining this forum and if you EVER feel suicidal, please message someone of this forum.. anyone… everyone is here to help each other no matter how bad the situation!! You are not alone!!

If this girl is going to be cold with you due to anxiety, then she obviously is not worth it!! Maybe start small with her and ask if you can do lunch at college one day or come round and watch a film… just as friends!! Boys and girls can be friends without there being anything sexual or emotionally happening!! You should talk to her about your concerns… i don't think talking to her 3-4 times a week is suffocating at all! just tell her you need a friend!! be open about it! it's nothing to be ashamed of at all!!

[Kyle Morgan]

Yeah but she's been acting cold to me lately because my male friend had said some things to her on Facebook, I had no clue this went on. I've told her that I think of her as a good friend but she tells me that her problems are a lot worse than mine right now. Fair enough I guess, I told her that I'm there to talk to her as a friend if she needs me, but she didn't say anything. With my state of mind right now, I just want people that I can talk too. I know I have my family but it's nice to know that you can have friends to help you too, and I'm annexed at my father too for leaving me. Thank you Ashlee13x! you seem like a nice person

[Kyle Morgan]

Yeah I'm taking meds for it, But sometimes I think they don't help, it might be because I haven't been taking them for long. My mother has taken me to the doctors this week so I can get some counselling soon.

[Ashlee13x]

She may just need a bit of time right now.. these best thing u can do is let her know you are there and she will come to you when she's ready!! This forum is great for people to talk to and it's reassuring to see that you're not the only one!! I can understand why you have this anger.. my boyfriend has had a lot go on in his life.. stuff with his dad etc… but a great man and friend of mine on here taught me that the best way to move forward is to grieve and forgive the past.. it may be easier said than done but it may be good to have a chat with your dad, even if you shout and cry… you're getting all your anger and emotions out which is better than being built up inside… and it's a good way for him to let you know how you feel!!

Thank you… if you ever need a chat, feel free to inbox me, i'll always be there to listen and help as best I can!

[Enduronman]

Welcome Kyle,

I too was in this same place, with the divorce of parents and also with the lack thereof, a Father too. This is tough all in itself but you have handled this quite well thus far.

1. The frienship/neighbor things is tough bruh. Also, the whole "cold shoulder" thing is now suddenly a whole new issue to deal with and try to figure out too.
I really can't get a full "read" on what exactly this other guy did to alienate her from you, with the exception of him telling her things about you that were meant to be
kept between you and him. Like, secrets or whatever. Especially after everything seemed fine, then he introduced something to her, then she doesn't want anything
to do with you. Seems abit odd, but also easily understandable as maybe, he wanted to be more to her, than he wanted you to be more to her..yes,,,that's what I'm
seeing.
2. I bypassed the depression issue and covered that one first, because that issue is abit more vague and hard to decipher. This issue however, is not. You've been
struggleing with this for a few years you say. Yes, maritial troubles between your parents. This is very tough on a teen, I've been there. So much difficulty, argueing,
battles, struggles...a depressed state here is normal and even for mom and dad too. I take your with you mom, and that your dad acts like an ass. Well, you can't help
dad but you sure can help mom out by being there for her the best you can. I also hope that mom is seekiing some help too, therapy, meds, etc. Just like what you
yourself need as well brah. You need some counceling, meds, and also to move on past the issue at number 1. Unless YOU think talking to her about this, is actually in
your best interest, which I highly doubt because she has judged you, and so has that dude too. Yes, the mental disorders do play greatly into this. Especially as you
stated. You can't go anywhere, or do anything, because of it...we have to get you some help to pull yourself up and outta this hole that you're in. With or without
your mom. You must seek assistance at the Doc, and also at counceling in the school too, that's why theyre there for.
3. How do you get over this depression?
A. Make an effort to seek help.
B. Go see the Doc.
C. Go see a therapist/councelor.
D. Get some medications to assist.
E. Quit being pissed off at dad, because he acts like a jackass.
F. Be there for your mom, in whatever capacity that is.
G. Hang out here with us, you'll heal in here.

4. How do you ask this girl to hang out?
A. You won't have too.
B. Once she "sees" that you're doing all of the above, she will ask you to hang out.

I hope this helps you Son..and I hope some if it makes sense too. And as the members above have stated, it isn't hopeless, its hopeful as Dahl said and also as Ashlee said, we tend to get pushed aside when we have "disorder" because we don't fit the "norm"....

We're here when you need us..

E-Man..:)

(man I wish I could type faster!!!)....

[jessed03]

Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle.. Kyle...

It's half time in the saints game, so I'll send you a quick reply.

You are Mr. Reactive aren't you? Do you know how life works? Long story short - the alpha males get the best girls, stay healthy, and have fun... The beta males struggle, get turned down by women, have problems with money, and fight their way through life.

You wanna understand more, read Dawkins - Selfish Gene

Right now my friend, you are a beta male. You react too much. You allow other people and other areas of yourself, to be your master. You're reacting to girls too much, to yourself too much, to your mum too much, to your dad too much... If you stay in this way of being, you aren't gonna get anything good...

The hungry don't get fed Kyle.

But don't try to change.

Evolve out of this. Set out a plan for your evolution.

The world, and women, want you to grab them. Forget the fairy tale buddy, it's a lie.

Women are creatures possessed with estrogen. You need testosterone to attract them. You need it to attract anything good.

You need to lead, because if you follow, you'll always be at the back of the line eating leftovers.

Right now, your mental stuff, and your reactivity are affecting your life, because they are probably having an influence on your hormones. Stress = bad for hormones.

Stage 1 of your evolution: Fix your anxiety and mental health.

Meditate, take whatever drug you need, purify your mind (yours needs way more work), understand the pull certain forces of energy have on you; such as desire, anxiety, need for approval - cut off your ties with these. Take women for instance; they will give you nothing but dopamine. It feels AMAZING, but it's a drug. It's an addiction. Cleanse yourself first by gaining more control of your thoughts, and your instincts. Need NOTHING, want everything.

When you need no validation, entertainment, company etc... Then you are one badass motherfucker... You've turned the screw, life's on Kyles side now.

Don't sit and wait for it's handouts. It'll screw you until you're an old man. Women don't dig nice guys, the good guys don't win, I wish they did...

Get back into a more inspired, primal state, where your blood rushes with energy.

Then go TAKE what you want.

Cos here's the secret... Everybody's waiting for you to. They all want you to..

Especially the girl. She wants you to excite her and her emotions, not bore her to death. You inspire nothing in her buddy, I'm sorry - if you did she'd be with you right now.

You're just not ready yet.

But you can become ready

If you have the hunger...

It's there for you. Step by step, the world will open up.

[jessed03]

We'll all help you overcome your depressive tendencies, get your mind in good shape, and find your hunger...as much as we can anyway. Don't let other people affect your life forever Kyle

[Enduronman]

When you need no validation, entertainment, company etc... Then you are one badass motherfucker...

Gawd I hope no gf's, wives, female partners,...read that line!!!! OMGEEEEE!!!!! (It's so true, that it is an Ethical Violation of The Badass Motherfucker Code!!!)....

I want my box back....JK!...

I like your pespectives J....

E-Man...:)

[AmberGbenga]

I agree with all of the above, espesh Jesse. Coming from a open minded walking vagina. All women ARE Infact different.. Some.. Rare some like the umm 'scraps'. I'm one of those women who go for personality over looks.. I've learnt over time getting to know someone's AWESOME personality makes you attracted to them. The fact is, no one wants a broken soul.. (Well some do actually, they like to feel 'alphamale' like they can fix you, then you will rely on them) I have daddy issues, I was daddy's little girl until he left and I waited year after year on birthdays Christmas Etc for a call.. Which never happened. He said some stuff last time I spoke to Him and all I said was dint talk to me again.. Then 2 months ago.. He died. I managed to say I forgive him at the funeral... BUT I still had all that built up anger.. I had to find ways to relief it. Where as you can just yell at the bastard. No matter how much you hate your father, if he passed away.. It would still affect you in a big way.

[Kyle Morgan]

Thanks for some of the advice guys, it means a lot. Thanks

[Kyle Morgan]

I felt worse again today, I had to sleep through most of the day because I just had these silly suicidal thoughts in my head