The Future

[raggamuffin]

I'm fed up of being stuck in an office job for 9 years. In the past 4 months i've undertaken photography and have had outstanding feedback from friends, families and friends of friends. I have an appointment with a local gallery on Wednesday who are interested in my work. There's 6 other local galleries, 3 of whom specialize in photography. I also have many drawings which a previous gallery had interest in but I never followed it up. People i've shown my work to can't fathom how i've only been doing photography for as long as I have. At first I thought people were just being polite and too kind, but now i'm starting to think...what if I can really follow this through?

I've felt so stuck in a rut for many years. Anxiety, debt and a terrible job that saps the enjoyment out of everything. I want to follow a career I truly enjoy. I know it's going to be difficult to make this a viable career. But to be honest, I feel utterly wasted in the job i'm in. Throughout my whole life, teachers, friends and family have all seen the creative spark to me and forever tried to push me in that direction. But I always felt repelled by their prompts. Convinced nothing would become of it. I was under the impression I wasn't good enough and that it was too risky to try and follow it as a career. I hid from emotional problems behind drugs for many years and tried to ignore the fact I was having severe issues.

It'll be half a year before i'm out of debt. But recently i've had so many people say to me "Why aren't you trying to make money off of this?" and people who are already willing to buy prints and canvases I make. I'm not lying when I'm saying i'm scared about this prospect. This truly would be a career of my dreams. It'll be hard work and such a drastic change from the usual 9-5 job i've been so used to. But work is a distraction from the anxiety and the general depression and ill feelings that come along with it. I know that with enough determination and self belief, anything is possible.

I think after more than a decade of self doubt, self pity and self loathing, i'm finally going to take steps in the right direction and make a big change in my life. A friend of mine has been a true inspiration, she has suffered severe depression and anxiety for most of her life. She quit her 9-5 job to follow music and is now making great money, going on tours and has studios interested in her work. She has so much passion and also, faith in me and this is really inspirational to me.

I know this isn't technically about anxiety, or the usual post about symptoms etc. To be honest, the day to day is still difficult for me at the moment with aches and pains and the Epididymitis raising it's ugly head again. But to be honest, i'm tired of feeling submerged by the bad in life. I need to start focusing on the good and get where I want to be in my life.

Ed

[NeverToo...Fear]

I know it sounds cheesy to say, but following your dreams is something you should do. It would be great to just get to wake up and do something you love everyday, and if that's photography for you, and you happen to be good at it, then by all means pursue this! Too many times in life we are told that what we love to do is too risky, it won't make enough money, we're not good enough, it's just a hobby and nothing else-- but if we always keep that negative thinking it mind, how are we to ever to fully try and see what happens? 9 years is too long to be stuck in an office job you don't like. Definitely make some changes and pursue this to see what happens. Yes, changes are scary, as they should be cause of so much unknown. And maybe you won't make a living out of it, or maybe it will be the start of something good.. :) I'm hoping things go well for you!

[GeneAllen]

I'm fed up of being stuck in an office job for 9 years. In the past 4 months i've undertaken photography and have had outstanding feedback from friends, families and friends of friends. I have an appointment with a local gallery on Wednesday who are interested in my work. There's 6 other local galleries, 3 of whom specialize in photography. I also have many drawings which a previous gallery had interest in but I never followed it up. People i've shown my work to can't fathom how i've only been doing photography for as long as I have. At first I thought people were just being polite and too kind, but now i'm starting to think...what if I can really follow this through?

I've felt so stuck in a rut for many years. Anxiety, debt and a terrible job that saps the enjoyment out of everything. I want to follow a career I truly enjoy. I know it's going to be difficult to make this a viable career. But to be honest, I feel utterly wasted in the job i'm in. Throughout my whole life, teachers, friends and family have all seen the creative spark to me and forever tried to push me in that direction. But I always felt repelled by their prompts. Convinced nothing would become of it. I was under the impression I wasn't good enough and that it was too risky to try and follow it as a career. I hid from emotional problems behind drugs for many years and tried to ignore the fact I was having severe issues.

It'll be half a year before i'm out of debt. But recently i've had so many people say to me "Why aren't you trying to make money off of this?" and people who are already willing to buy prints and canvases I make. I'm not lying when I'm saying i'm scared about this prospect. This truly would be a career of my dreams. It'll be hard work and such a drastic change from the usual 9-5 job i've been so used to. But work is a distraction from the anxiety and the general depression and ill feelings that come along with it. I know that with enough determination and self belief, anything is possible.

I think after more than a decade of self doubt, self pity and self loathing, i'm finally going to take steps in the right direction and make a big change in my life. A friend of mine has been a true inspiration, she has suffered severe depression and anxiety for most of her life. She quit her 9-5 job to follow music and is now making great money, going on tours and has studios interested in her work. She has so much passion and also, faith in me and this is really inspirational to me.

I know this isn't technically about anxiety, or the usual post about symptoms etc. To be honest, the day to day is still difficult for me at the moment with aches and pains and the Epididymitis raising it's ugly head again. But to be honest, i'm tired of feeling submerged by the bad in life. I need to start focusing on the good and get where I want to be in my life.

Ed

Man I can relate. My joy and passion has been set aside for far too long. I've did work that has paid well, but when I began to lose my fear of winning, and losing, I can see my passion and excitement is within my reach. I've been doing you tube vids almost a year. I also like physical ironwork, and more toward the ornate hand chiseled, bent, heated and twisted gritty stuff Blacksmithing if you will. I have noticed I have let life live me instead of living my life, blaming everything and everyone along the way for my choices, or fear of change. It's starting to sink in and things are fixin to change. Peace my friend. Keep us posted.

[jessed03]

I know this mini comic strip is a little cliche, but it's a nice thought :) written by quite a famous philosopher.

http://zenpencils.com/comic/98-alan-watts-what-if-money-was-no-object/

It was part of a long talk I listened to, but it reminded me a lot of your post, and the conclusions you're beginning to reach. I wish you luck with them! It takes a lot of courage, it's no easy path doing what you love.

[Dahila]

I am speechless, You need to follow the dream and do what your heart tells you. We have only one life, I am not believer, and it is our responsibility not to waste it. Do u have any of your works in pictures somewhere so I could see it? I was working as an artist, I am an artist back home... I have the education in art. I would love to see your works. I am sure they are fantastic.

Better to have a humble existence with limited finance and do what you love, instead of making secure living in environment you can exist without suffering. Talent is something you do not waste. Follow your desire to art, please :))

[raggamuffin]

Thanks for the kind words of support. My parents are fully backing me on this as well as friends. This really means so much to me. It's one thing hoping you can make it doing what you love, but when you have the backing of those closest to you it makes the world of difference.

As an update I found a photography dedicated printer which i'm going in 50/50 with my parents. Although i'll be funding inks and paper. It was voted as one of the best photography printers of last year in several places I looked. I've also found a wholesaler for frames both A4 and the larger A3 sizes at the most mind bogglingly cheap prices ever. Going to speak to an ex grilfriend of mine. Her mother has made very good money from arts and crafts fairs for over 10 years. She'll be best to go to and find out what fairs would be good to start looking into setting up stalls on during weekends and prices etc in order to make extra money.

Soon as it's payday i'll buy a portfolio, get my works printed in very good quality and start going around galleries to get some feedback on my work and ask for pricing guidelines on photos and such like. Once i'm out of debt, if things are going well I will invest in a professional canvas printer. I would make my own canvases, get my dad to teach me how to make the frames. I could be entirely self sufficient and hopefully making good money :D

I will keep you all posted when I have updates in a couple of weeks time.

Ed

[Dahila]

Making your own canvas is pretty simple, I made them till I came to Canada, they are dirt cheap here:))

[GeneAllen]

Sounds great Ed. I made a purchase last night toward my passion. I was a bit tentative, but seeing your post inspired me, and I thought hey why not? Here I go.
Thanks, and all my best to you. Peace

[raggamuffin]

Glad to hear it. What are you investing in and hoping to do? I just sunk the money into the printer. Decided no half measures and went for the absolute top of the line A3+ inkjet printer. Supoposedly gallery quality. Shame the inks are dreadfully expensive. But I suppose it's best to go all out for quality instead of going in half cocked.

Ed

[GeneAllen]

Hello Ed.

Purchasing items to begin my ornamental iron shop. I have always worked construction, welder, fabricator etc. Except for 6 years I spent as an officer for the state of Il. I'm inclined to be artistic, hands on, and also am setting the stage to do some life coaching, as my education was in psychology, and my volunteer work consisted of that as well.

I've done some elaborate custom designs in Nashville for the Plantation at Fairview, and others. I think I'll do it on my own now. I've always enjoyed working at a couple of things at the same time, have owned a few companies etc. Just small scale. I have a good friend in Moline Il. who owns a printing, sign company, as well as other interest's and he's a success I'm sure you will be too. Dude it feel right! Let's enjoy this new chapter huh? Peace

[GeneAllen]

Thank you Frankie. Oh and Smashing Pumpkins, Audio Slave, Disturbed, Tool, Sinead O'Connor, Sade, Joe Cocker, ..... ;)

Seriously have you heard Magic by Maclemore? I like it my son sent it to me, as we relate well on lots of music. Peace

[GeneAllen]

Gene, I just checked it out. It has such a 70s vibe to it font you think? Cool. ........Ellie Goulding.

Frankie, She is awesome. Very cool. Yes it does have the 70's vibe. Peace

[raggamuffin]

So the Gallery want all the drawings i've done for an exhibition in 2 weeks. They also want 5 of my photographs printed and framed for their subsequent exhibition later in the first quarter.

Not too shabby for someone who's only been doing photography for 4.5 months :)

Ed

[GeneAllen]

Very good. I'm gathering tools, books on blacksmithing, and welder/torches and metals. I enjoy photography. My daughter (youngest) has a real eye, and we live in a historic town well on the mountain outside of town, but lots of historical stuff. Coal trains, tunnels, Victorian homes, run down this and that. She has captured photos and the black and whites are super cool. We framed and placed them on our wall. Sounds like you're going to be busy. Peace

[raggamuffin]

Aye I love old run down places and historical places. There's so much medieval architecture around here. I'll upload a pic or 2 of the nearby cathedral. It's around 600 years old and spanned several centuries to build. It truly is one of the most beautiful buildings i've ever seen. It's so flat around where I live as it all used to be flooded marshland until it was drained so the cathedral can be seen for many miles around. At night it's lit up and you can see it from so far away. It's nicknamed the ship of the fens.

I got the printer today and arrived in a huge box on a pallet. Struggle getting it up to my room and I never wish to ever lift that printer again. 12 ink system, gallery quality prints. The print quality is actually insane. Quite excited to print off the 5 prints for the exhibition in March. Also get word out to people at work that i'm selling prints. Already bought a few portfolios to put my work into so now I just have to get printing.

926927928929930

Ed