GYDA
01-10-2014, 02:22 AM
Basically about a year ago I was diagnosed with anxiety, had all the chest pains/dizziness/anxiety attacks worrying about nearly every single disease/illness after one of my good friends passed away. It went from strength to strength, I was diagnosing myself with everything, i was in the doctors at least once a week, i was scared to death of it all.
This lasted until about February time when i began to calm down but i found this lump on my neck just under my jawline, i told myself I wouldn't worry about it, it could be anything, decided not to go to the doctors because i'd convinced myself I was just making a mug out of myself and wasting doctors time. Few months later and i give in, went to the see the doctor he told me he can't feel anything to worry about, lymph nodes dont usually go that deep so he thinks its cartilage, anyone without any health anxiety would leave at that but not me unfortunately! I went back 2 weeks later to a different doctor for a second opinion, he said it's a lymph node but it's not big enough to be concerned about, he has ones that he can feel too. Unfortunately I'm 'googler' (google too much on symptons) which set myself worse, went back again and yet again he said the lumps nothing to worry about, this was back in July and finally i gave in and decided 3 doctors opinions that i won't go back.
After weeks of feeling the lump every day trying to work out what it is, i went back to the doctors with it yesterday, he said it's a lymph node thats slightly enlarged but it's nothing to worry about, he's got some he can feel too and it might stay that enlarged for the rest of my life. Just feel like this lumps dragging out my health anxiety.
how exhausting is health anxiety!! :( constantly worrying about your health and little stuff, i hate going into the doctors now, i feel like they read my notes, see that i've got anxiety n think 'ah here we go'. The doctor yesterday rolled his eyes when I said 'So its nothing to worry about?' to which he replied no. So now i'm trying to ignore the lump and get on with my life, trying not to feel/touch it but it's hard to blank it out. I'm never fully convinced until a test is done but the fact that none of the doctors even consider the tests must say something.
Just hoping somebody can relate/having a little rant :P
This lasted until about February time when i began to calm down but i found this lump on my neck just under my jawline, i told myself I wouldn't worry about it, it could be anything, decided not to go to the doctors because i'd convinced myself I was just making a mug out of myself and wasting doctors time. Few months later and i give in, went to the see the doctor he told me he can't feel anything to worry about, lymph nodes dont usually go that deep so he thinks its cartilage, anyone without any health anxiety would leave at that but not me unfortunately! I went back 2 weeks later to a different doctor for a second opinion, he said it's a lymph node but it's not big enough to be concerned about, he has ones that he can feel too. Unfortunately I'm 'googler' (google too much on symptons) which set myself worse, went back again and yet again he said the lumps nothing to worry about, this was back in July and finally i gave in and decided 3 doctors opinions that i won't go back.
After weeks of feeling the lump every day trying to work out what it is, i went back to the doctors with it yesterday, he said it's a lymph node thats slightly enlarged but it's nothing to worry about, he's got some he can feel too and it might stay that enlarged for the rest of my life. Just feel like this lumps dragging out my health anxiety.
how exhausting is health anxiety!! :( constantly worrying about your health and little stuff, i hate going into the doctors now, i feel like they read my notes, see that i've got anxiety n think 'ah here we go'. The doctor yesterday rolled his eyes when I said 'So its nothing to worry about?' to which he replied no. So now i'm trying to ignore the lump and get on with my life, trying not to feel/touch it but it's hard to blank it out. I'm never fully convinced until a test is done but the fact that none of the doctors even consider the tests must say something.
Just hoping somebody can relate/having a little rant :P