blind that you hurt friends..

[bluey]

:(

Ive been terrible- i have really been a terrrible friend. Ive losta friend now - thru my own negative feelings and thoughts.

It hurts so much because i hurt this person..over and over to the core.
I have lost thier trust way too much and i flet so much for this person so much.

I took actions and words for m my friend as my own faults and myself seem as a victim.

I held things in and was happy for company - i loved being around this person too much.


I spoke out later not to this person abut on the net and to others instead as tho this person ws bad or something - i was really desperate for help i guess and could not see things clearly.

I severly hurt this person over and over. And now my heart is even more broken because of what i have done.

All i could ever think about was this person and i got hurt thru myself more so ... i became evil and horrible and now i am left with regret and unhappiness - i have to be happy and build on my life so i wont be this negative anxiou person anymore..

I want to make this person happy but too much has been damaged im even lucky things are not all gone but it will take a whole long time to repair..

This person meant the whole world to me and i became two faced and hurt too much.. i thought well ahead and too negative about things..
not logically..

i guess all i can do is try to be posistive and bulid on myself and never be that negative again.

I am so upset i did this.. i was in deppression and heartbreak and criticism i found as i couldnt cope..

i made things unfair and worse from panic it seemed else..

Faith is lost form my friend and a lifetime of hurt..

I respect this person to have a long time away from me..

I lost a potential mate- tho i thought it was lost altogether anyway and got hurt there but a best friend i betrayed too much ..

I hate it. No more.

: (( ......