insecurity about yourself that makes fears..

[bluey]

Having body dismorphic disorder and social phobia/anxiety i find being around others triggers everywhere particuarly in the way i look and how my insecurity is very apparrent.

i recently relised how being insecure makes for bad and failing relationships with people because you become so eager for reassurance in them and security because of anxeity.

So i am working on building my life - ie my own goals and pushing my own fears- most importantly trying to accept and like my own self and not take in other's judgements on me as my whole self worth.

Thing is tho when you feel so anxious and insecure it is really hard to value yourself when if in the past you have had alot of criticism- knowing that those who are insecure seem to be a magnet to that..

i have to use alot of posistive thinking and cbt myself to cope and visualing the future - positivly..

I wonder if anyone esle who has been thru citism from others has battled their insecurity and made platforms in their lives?

I guess i am just wanting a little inspiration here..

anyone? :roll: :)

[ron111]

I feel my goals increase my anxiety. I plan on going to law school in a few months, and I want to be over the anxiety by then. And the closer it gets, the more anxious I get. But I know that I can't give into the fear and not go. I will regret it for the rest of my life. Maybe we just got to put everything into perspective more often?? I used to be very good at it. It just shows that this can happen to anybody. We can do this together, one day at a time.

I used to suffer from social anxiety a lot. I didn't know what anxiety was then though, haha. Over time, I just got more confident. It took time, and now I don't mind giving speeches and such. I may feel a little anxious, but I feel rather confident with it now. My anxiety is health related, my heart more specific. If I get up in front of people, and get anxious. It's not because the people. It's because I feel that I'm supposed to be a little anxious and that will cause my heart rate to rise. See I worry about my heart way too much. If I could get over that, I think my anxiety would be gone. But long story short, I suffered from the same thing you did. I always put a lot of pressure on myself when I spoke in front of people and met new people. But after a while after forcing myself all the time, I got reasurrance in myself because I got better at it. You can do it if I did it.

[jesse230]

I myself 2 lost my best relationship in my life due to insecurety. So, i know it's hard...but, i think im actully quite good looking. but, some people will just say your ugly just to either piss u off or enjoy there ego. But, calm down...im sure your very nice looking. And no offence to anyone that im about to subscribe. You will find atleast someone in the world that thinks your very amazing. (sorry but i gotta use this) I mean sometimes i walk or im in the car and i see 2 couples...1 guy can be 200 pounds preety big and is holding hands with this fucking major hotty :D and i'v seen 2 big people with eatch other i'v seen a preety big girl with like a buff mancho guy. Why did they go. Becouse, they liked eatch other for the personality and looks. We all know where gunna be insecure if we find someone that perfect to take you. But, he/she did take you for a reason :D hope this helps.

[ron111]

You seem like a pretty funny guy jesse. I like your comments, haha. You don't seem anxious from the way you type.

[jesse230]

Ya. i use to have a very nice social life. But, anxiety made me stay away from them. But, I still try to enjoy life to the fullest when I can :/

[bluey]

Thanx guys.. :)

Well my friend is having a break from me..
I did fall in love with the guy unfortunaltey ..thing is he hasa thing for me too a msall thing with big potential- which is why he was being so hard on me ..
he wanted to see me working and have confidence - to see me in my light.. he didnt want someone who was so upset and insecure all the time.. deppressing and constantly needy .. as he said he has his own needs .. he has health issues he cant ignore - he dosent want to worry etc..

Having BDD i thought looks mattered more than anything - i have been told i am quite pretty and all not tht i believe it but i thought that love at first sight .. when i got criticised over my social and other things i got upset i guess..

Anyone ever thought of bad things that has happened and made them seen far worse and in totally one negative view instead of logic - to replay and replay it .. thats wht i did (i was never really asertive and open as much which lead to problems)..so months by and living away i over contacting the poor guy constantly like seperation anxiety i wanted his attention and help and not getting it i would bring up the past and think as though he wasa terrible person - sending terrible messages in a wealth of over emotions .. i was severely anxious and deppressed..

See this guy changed me from a house bound social phobic scared of guys into a new person - kinda like a mentor - but when he was gone from me i could not cope!

Now he even regrets that he met me to some degree- i hurt him that bad , made him miserable and stressed ata time when i knew he was already having it tough workwise and all..

Its like i was in a trnace of severe anxiety and heartbreak..

Now i am being really tough on myself to be posistive - thing is my friend i am two -faced.. i have one side that is nice and best friend material,very close and friendly and then there is another side that later ( the past) becomes assertive and hurtfull to things and posts on the net and emails.. that mistrusts over and over and makes him to be a terrible person.. he cant trust me..

ive learnt a whole lot and changing - being positive and working on myself and own goals.. and trying to make a difference to others from my own experiences..

i know that if he saw me achieving vocationally and being stable and happy that it would make him very happy as he started it all for me..

I cant stop thinking about the guy but i have to.. esp for a while.

a time and a place i guess.