Hi everyone

[staceatarian]

I've always been more of the shy and quiet type. I have had panic attacks in the past due to major life changes and was on xanax for a while as well as dropping out of college courses and quitting one of my jobs. After a while I felt better and haven't really let anxiety affect my life for a while.

Right now my anxiety seems to be running the show and I feel awful. I got a promotion at work that is the right fit for me, but involves public speaking and is a management position. I was looking for a new challenge. When I got the job and was out for training I started having panicattacks. It got so bad that I would just sit in my office shaking. I called my gp and she put me on paxil which I had a terrible reaction to. I couldn't eat or sleep and was up all night nauseated with dilated pupils. She took me off of that andon low dose clonazepamalcoh. I was out of work for a bit. I went back to work and started seeing a psychiatrist as well as doing yoga, cutting out caffeine and stopped drinking alcohol. I worked at public speaking and could now attend mymeetings and speak with some anxiety, but it was getting easier.

Around the same time I got the promotion my stepdaughter came to live with my husband and I. I was noy used to being a full time parent.

Things seemed to be going easier, but when I have a setback it's awful. This weekend my husband spoke to me about how I've changed since I started my new job and the meds and I started feelinf out of control and like I'm not ok. I called out if work on monday feeling ill. I went in yesterday feeling so so and ended up passing out which is one of my anxiety fears.

They called my husband to come pick me up and I called out again today. I'm nauseated and dizzy. I can never tell if I am actually sick or it's anxiety symptoms. When I took the new position I lost a few pounds that I did not have to lose. I'm now at around 95. I had dropped to 85.

I told my work that I had an overactive thyroid as I was not sharing my anxiety with them. I don't want anyone to think I cannot handle my job. I was out that first time and my doctor had written it up as an allergic reaction to the meds.

I don't know what to do and I'm scared of relapsing. I know I can do this job, but my body doesn't seem to agree and my mind spins out of control..

Thank you for reading and please help if you have any advice.

[jessed03]

I wrote you a really long response yesterday evening, but my ipad crashed and I lost it.

We've spoken in your other thread, so it seems like you're making some proactive steps.

I just wanted to at least reply, and say I've read your post and thought about it - now I know your story better - and it wasn't written in vain ;)

[jessed03]

Actually one thing I did wanna ask - RI - is that Rhode Island? I'm trying to think of all the RIs I can.

[Enduronman]

I had not even seen this till just now, weird.

Yes, I truly hope that the new Remeron will help you out and after reading someof your other post Stacy, they seem more positive and upbeat just in the matter of a day!!

This will be nice to watch you get stronger and gain more control now,...for sure!

Glad you're here.

E-Man.....

[staceatarian]

Actually one thing I did wanna ask - RI - is that Rhode Island? I'm trying to think of all the RIs I can.
Yep Rhode Island, USA you got it.

[staceatarian]

Thanks guys. I am glad to be here in such a supportive environment. I want to be able to do my job well and then come home and be present for my family. It's like I've been pushing them aside some because I could only focus on the job and everything else is like too much. My husband is out of work and I feel that added pressure. He only works seasonally. I'm used to being the breadwinner and I've worked my way up to where I can 'barely' support us with one income. My husband has disability ratings that make it hard for him to get a job, but not enough to collect disability.

He gets concerned when I work too much as I tend to put in a few extra hours... Just trying to do the best I can, but often can't shake my job off when I go home.

[Dahila]

Hi Stacey I would think they should help you to unwind , after the work. I hope you told your hubby about the anxiety. In today work market, full time job is a blessing. I am on parttime job for the last 5 years. It is not easy to meet the ends.... You doing ok because you are on meds. I could not take Paxil either, some people can not take any sRRI meds. With the doc, and support here , you are going to get better.;))