HELP !!! Meditation induced Anxiety and Delays in movements

[Metaphys1k]

Hi, i'll try to be as short as possible to explain you clearly what has actually happened to me and hopefully someone here will have a kind of explanations to what I feel when anxiety kicks-in. I'd like to point out that i'm not english so please forgive me for any typing error and grammar mistakes

As far as I can tell, i've probably started to be anxious few years ago, without actually recognising it. Then, an awful day in the beginning of last year's september, I tried out marijuana, which caused me the first panick attack and showed in a pretty brutal way how much anxious I was without knowing it. After this experience passed by, I was fine for the next 3 to 4 months, even if in october I got the diagnosis of an inguinal hernia, which didn't troubled much with my anxiety if not for the fact I feared (and still today I fear) that if I fail to heal it naturally i won't be able to go to gym again and i'd lose all the lean mass I put with great effort in these years.

Besides from this, 26th of december I tried out Meditation, with the intention to increase my focus ability. And so I did the Greatest mistake in my life. After 20 minutes of intense meditation, I got back to the computer and I felt "disconnected" but I didn't noticed/cared much in the beginning. Then, while walking in the kitchen, I suddently understood what that feeling was refering to : I was having the movement delays and sense of disconnection typical of a marijuana session. And again, I felt in panick and I run to the closest heater since I felt incredibly cold in a very limited amount of seconds. The feeling lasted the whole day and took 3 days in total to completely disappear, and I jumped on the conclusion all of this was caused by meditation itself and my first 2 weeks of coffee of my life just before that meditation session (never had coffee before)

Then I felt fine for what I can recall 2-3 days, and on 1st january, while I was out with my friends to party up for the first of the year, I probably overthinked too much to that hernia I have, and probably all the persons surrounding me contributed to this, but after 2 or 3 hours, again, that feeling reappeared. WITHOUT meditating. From nowhere, I felt again those movements delays typical of marijuana session and I even got red-eyes WITHOUT having smoked and felt pretty much disconnected, in fear, and very cold for the whole night and the day after, though the day after I was feeling justa bit better but still experiencing those delays.

And now, 6 january, It's been let's say 2-3 days that i'm fine again but my general anxiety increased, when I feel anxious i don't have delays anymore but I experience numbness, inability to focus properly/well, I get cold and trembling all of a sudden, and the fear to look stupid in front of other people. And after I calm down, I feel fatigue and took a while to be energic again.

That's probably related to social anxiety somehow, no one noticed still that I have this problems since I force my self heavily to focus while discussing and somewhat I can escape the possibility of looking stupid in front of others

Is it possible that meditation brought back the fear I felt while trying marijuana few months ago ? Or pheraps the diagnosis of the inguinal hernia just made everything worse and got me to this horrible state.

To think that I did meditation to actually become smarter, while taking in count a good diet and everything to see things a bit clearer and be more intelligent, And I got the right opposite. Now I don't even know if I got a mental disorder or if I'm going crazy. Visiting a psychologist or ingesting dozens of medicinals and drugs is definitely something I will avoid till I have a good ability to use logic and reason.
Or pheraps I already lost that one ?

I'd like to make clear that I've never got DP/DR. Please someone give me at least few ideas on the situation, i'm definitely worried. I felt better in these last days and things seems to slowly disappear, but I'll watch out in any case and avoid any source of anxiety till everything will be fine again.. And sorry for the miriametric post, I kept it as short as possible (hopefully clear as well even if i'm not english)

[astronaute]

Hello Metaphys1k,

I recognize some of your symptoms so maybe I could shed some light on the issue.
First of all, what you call "disconnected" and "movements delay" are most certainly caused by the anxiety itself and not marijuana. You were probably extremely anxious firsts time you used marijuana as you were anticipating its effects and thus provoked the panic attack itself. It works this way usually: you detect something weird about your body (marijuana effect) and that triggers the anxiety which has its own symptoms that you mistake for marijuana effects and from there it goes crescendo, physical symptoms aggravates psychic symptoms which aggravates physical symptoms again and so on, boom, panic!
So what happened after your meditation was something similar, you was in a relaxed state where you any fluctuations in your mood or body becomes lot more visible, you think something unusual/unwanted is happening and it starts all over again.

I also suffer from lack of energy throughout the day after feeling anxious and nauseous, the only thing helps me a bit is the Euphytose (extracts of relaxing plants). I don't take medications even though I sometimes feel I'm going crazy, I repeat to myself that it will pass, you just have to be strong and face it. For me usually it lasts few hours until I feel well again but it depends on people probably. And yes it pass eventually.

Also make some magnesium water, it is easy, buy some magnesium chloride and put 10-15g in 1L of water and drink one glass of it each morning for 1 week. Magnesium is very important for everything nerve related.

Hope that helps mate :)

[astronaute]

One last thing, stop smoking, drinking alcohol, coffee and tea. Those are all anxiogenic substances. And marijuana will not help you either because of your anxiety, any changement in body or mind can trigger the panic as you will ask yourself if something is wrong, even though it is supposed to relax you, it wont.

Cheers

[Metaphys1k]

Hello Metaphys1k,

I recognize some of your symptoms so maybe I could shed some light on the issue.
First of all, what you call "disconnected" and "movements delay" are most certainly caused by the anxiety itself and not marijuana. You were probably extremely anxious firsts time you used marijuana as you were anticipating its effects and thus provoked the panic attack itself. It works this way usually: you detect something weird about your body (marijuana effect) and that triggers the anxiety which has its own symptoms that you mistake for marijuana effects and from there it goes crescendo, physical symptoms aggravates psychic symptoms which aggravates physical symptoms again and so on, boom, panic!
So what happened after your meditation was something similar, you was in a relaxed state where you any fluctuations in your mood or body becomes lot more visible, you think something unusual/unwanted is happening and it starts all over again.

I also suffer from lack of energy throughout the day after feeling anxious and nauseous, the only thing helps me a bit is the Euphytose (extracts of relaxing plants). I don't take medications even though I sometimes feel I'm going crazy, I repeat to myself that it will pass, you just have to be strong and face it. For me usually it lasts few hours until I feel well again but it depends on people probably. And yes it pass eventually.

Also make some magnesium water, it is easy, buy some magnesium chloride and put 10-15g in 1L of water and drink one glass of it each morning for 1 week. Magnesium is very important for everything nerve related.

Hope that helps mate :)

And that probably explains why everyone laughed at me when I told them that Marijuana Causes distortion in movements and delays of this kind... They're caused by the anxiety itself.
By the way i've never drinked alchol / smoked tobacco since I really dislike those and I've already stopped even to think to have another coffee in my life. (I'm even struggling for a while now to eat as clean as possible and avoid any kind of meat)
Hopefully i'll get over this somehow since i'm experiencing panick attacks for the very first times and I definitely don't look forward to get used to it. My major concern is the concentration. It seems that it swaps away VERY easily when i'm closer to get a panic attack

Thanks for the answer, really helped.

[astronaute]

I know it is not easy, but the key is to stop worrying when you feel something unusual in your body. Just accept it, and repeat to yourself that it will pass eventually. That way you could probably avoid the panic attack itself, after all it is just the anxiety resonating with itself: 1) you feel something you think it's weird, 2) you start worrying it could be something dangerous 3) the worry creates a physical response in your body (Fight-or-flight response) 4) It worries you even more 5) and so on until panic attack...

Actually panic attacks are that simple in my opinion, but it is not always easy to calm ourselves when needed. Continue to read other experiences here on this forum, it can help.

Good luck :)