the roller coaster...

[JLK]

Hello all! I guess I'm looking for some general advice here. Here's a bit of my story...

I've had anxiety since I was 18, but about a year ago, it just exploded (due to a few events) and I became pretty agoraphobic. I quit my job and really struggled for a few months. Since I had all kinds of time then, I did everything I could find to help. I went to a counselor (super hard to do for the agoraphobe), I did meditation, relaxation. Someone gave me the Lucinda Bassett cd program and I went through that. So, a year later, I have two jobs! And I can go places on my own. I exercise regularly and try to eat well. (I do take medication also)

My problem now is that I lived in that bubble and burned so many bridges that now that I know going places and doing things would help me feel better, I have no where to go. I have a very few friends left and really no resources to make new? When the anxiety comes on me now, I hate the idea of going back to meditation and such because it reminds me of how bad off I was before...

I'm afraid that I've hit a plateau and I'll never get better than this where I can do things, but it's very hard. I can drive, but I get very panicky. I can go places, but only under certain conditions. Does any of this make sense? lol. I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to continue the recovery... and if that's possible from here.

[vonnhelsing]

I can totally relate to this. I had severe anxiety and then gradually got better but I never got my life back. There was so many limitations and leaving the house would only happen under certain conditions (eg going somewhere nearby, going somewhere im familiar with, going with someone im comfortable with etc) I do believe if we try hard enough we can eventually do everything like we would before but I have this feeling anxiety or the memory of anxiety will always linger in the back of ours minds. We can ignore it though : ) keep it in the dark and not let it out into the bright sunshine of our new selves. Our stronger selves.

[Enduronman]

medications.....

[JLK]

I do take medication... it does help and I'm really not interested in taking more...

Thanks vonn. That does help. Maybe a new life is what we should try for instead of something like the old one we had? But, even as I say that I'm thinking, well that's easy to say, but sooo much harder to actually do.