Anxiety, depression and fears of sleeping

[Shy_1]

Hi all.

I've recently had a relapse after a year of good recovery. I originally suffered from anxiety and depression and was on medication which I managed to ween myself off. But that's the past and it's behind me. The relapse has come about during the Xmas break, and has brought me into a state of fear to sleep.

Most of the day I spend in my own company my mind is racing (I'm my own worst enemy at times)....and at night my heart rate increases and I get very hot and fidgety and it becomes frustrating and very upsetting and I can't sleep. I'm scared to sleep because I'm scared I won't be able to and that my mind has an opportunity to consume me.

Last few nights I have taken sleeping tablets to knock me out (so to speak). When I eventually wake up I don't want to, I want to sleep! Mainly to stay in a state of semi consciousness and live in a dreamland of positive emotion and happiness, instead of waking up to mind full of questions and randomness! As much as I hate to admit it, it has reduced me to tears on some days, because I don't know why it's happening and also out of frustration.

I suppose I posted this just to tell someone, and use it as an avenue to be open about what's going on with me. Has anyone had anything similar? Does anyone find it difficult to sleep because they won't be able to get to sleep, or because it gives there mind an opportunity to take over?

Thanks

[alankay]

Heck yeah very common. When alone we tend to focus on ourselves and with worry end up anxious. When we are busy with stuff that fills our time nicely we often are less anxious because we are not focusing on ourselves and anxious thoughts.
Are you considering going back on the med? Just a thought.
Anyway what you describe is common in a typical( if there is such a thing) anxious and depressed state. Don't be afraid to sleep. You can't go wrong! PM me any time. Alankay

[Dahila]

Hey as soon as I hit the pillow, I am wide awake because I am worried that I will not go to sleep. Typical for GAD sufferers ;)) It is going to get better with the meds

[Darwin]

I am diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and when my anxiety is at it's worst, I actually dread going to bed at night. The idea of being alone with my thoughts is haunting and terrifying when I'm going through a rough stretch. When I do finally fall asleep and then wake up in the morning, it's that dreadful feeling of facing another day (assuming it's gonna be another bad one).

I think what you're going through is perfectly normal (at least for someone who suffers from anxiety and depression). Just hang in there, you have gotten better before and you will do it again. The holiday season is a time when most people get stressed out, and even more so people who already suffer from chronic anxiety. Things will get better.

I wish you the best of luck my friend.

[cdfrank]

I have fears of sleeping to the point I don't sleep..... I initially fall asleep and sleep for a couple of hours and them it's back to staying up the rest of the night worrying and wondering about negative things! I really hate it because it's depressing that on can't so anything but cry because it's sooooo depressing

[Shy_1]

So, probably had the worst nights sleep last night, although I was physically exhausted. The girl I was and I bre up, which in any case is never a nice feeling, because you loose something you kept dear to your heart. Seems like a lot of my life revolves around rejection and disappointment and was generally the cause of my anxiety and depression, never feeling like your worth enough to someone.

Of course when I went to bed I was sporadically waking and at one point my heart was beating so fast I woke up because it felt my whole bed was rocking. I felt like I wanted to wake up but started getting anxious on having to go through the day.

[Shy_1]

Not planning on meds by the way. Although the depression and anxiety hurts, it's only because of my thought patterns and the events that take place around. Sucks! Wish we didn't have to go through something so life consuming.

[vonnhelsing]

Guided meditation all the way. Teaching your mind how to focus is such a helpful skill.

[bittersweetgirl]

Why no meds? It's your own personal decision, but after decades of poor sleep, I'm doing whatever it takes to get SOME sleep. Sometimes a short course of sleeping meds can stop that fear cycle.

Some great (med-free!) advice I read about insomnia: don't go to bed early to try to make up for lack of sleep. And if you're staying awake in bed every night til 2 or 3, just stay up and do something else and don't put yourself to bed until 2 or 3, for a few nights or so. It also helps to break the fear cycle, I've found.

[Shy_1]

Thanks guys. I usually get bad sleep patterns when I'm out of sync with my normal routine (like Xmas). Or when something has aggregated it, like the split between me and the girl I was seeing. The reason I'm not going on meds is because I'm a competitive athlete so it really effects me physically, and there's always a chance of testing. Meditation would be great, my fear is closing my mind and travelling through it. Has anyone here tried meditation? Any advice on it? Maybe I should look for something local?