Do other people have this too?

[tobturn]

Hey everyone,

For some odd reason since the thought of disfigurement popped up in my head, and how getting severely disfigured would ruin my dream to be a respected and admired person and actor, for a long time I could not get it out of my head.
Every time I wanted to take steps to pursue my career, I'd think: yes, but what if I get disfigured? That would ruin everything!

This thought made me really scared, and I just couldn't get it out of my head. It totally stopped me from following my dreams.
I'm not scared of getting disfigured anymore, in fact it only lasted for about a week because I'm now putting all my attention to what could cause this fear. The thing I don't understand is WHY this thought made me so scared. It's a total irrational fear, and I've never had these kind of fears! It could be anxiety but I just cannot find anyone with a similar fear! This one came out of nowhere :fragend005:

It doesn't fit the description of any anxiety disorder... It's not a phobia either because I wasn't scared I'd get disfigured per se, the fear is only present when I think of pursuing a career as an actor, following my dreams etc. Only when I took steps to pursue my dreams, the fear returned! I've been thinking about what could cause this fear, and since I'm religious one of the things I'm considering as a cause is God, maybe he's warning me that if I follow my dreams, I'll get disfigured, and since he doesn't want that too happen he put this thought in my head. It may sound freakin' crazy but I just can't find an explanation as to why this thought made me so scared when thinking of following my dreams, instead of being scared of it all the time.

Do you or do you know someone that has a fear similar to this one? Just out of the blue, totally irrational, that doesn't fit the description of any anxiety disorder?


Take care

[jessed03]

The thing about anxiety, is it's an energy, rather than an outcome. Certain symptoms people get of that energy overflowing are very common; physical issues, fear of death, fear of humiliation, stuff like that, but they are just manifestations of that anxious energy in what seems to be a common form it takes.

In a way, this forum is quite narrow, in the fact that most people you see, have expressions of anxiety in similar ways. I guess that's what makes it a community, most share common symptoms.

But everyone suffers anxiety though. Healthy people too. For certain people, that anxious energy will come out in a different way, maybe a way that is totally unique to that person. I can speak kind of personally and say that although I haven't had your specific concern, I have had concerns that I guess I'd say were rather similar in nature.

Everybodies motivation, dream, life philosophy.. it differs so much. What may excite you bores me. What may bore someone else may terrify me etc.

There are some people out there with very strong motivations to do things, and that motivation maybe more prominent in their life than fear of death. In their case, that nervous energy inside them will express itself in a different way.

Often through thoughts similar to the ones you had.

For certain people, their nervous energy doesn't follow the same pattern of expression as others. Sometimes mine would be classic, at other times made me feel confused as a polar bear on an ice rink. But eventually I begun to see it all came from the same source.

I'm sure you've seen laser tops, that make all kinds of creative shapes and patterns on walls.. Although they are interesting and very unique, they all come from that same singular light source, that fuels them.

I guess that light source here would be a metaphor for anxiety. Despite the numerous projections it makes, it still comes from that one source, and as you discover more about yourself, and become more and more enlightened to anxiety, you'll see that tackling this source is far more beneficial in gaining peace, than worrying over the projection - the symptom.

I think it's good that you seek understanding of it, and also managed to not let this issue become too involved in your life. It shows a healthy interest in yourself. You can pick up a lot of life tips from what your anxiety is telling you.

I think it also indicates a lot of tension inside of you revolving around this particular ambition you have. Perhaps you know why there is tension surrounding the achieving of your goal? Perhaps you feel you have to become something to be of value, perhaps you just hunger it greatly? I'm completely speculating lol

Keep seeking to understand what the expressions of your nervous energy mean, and are telling you. At times there's interesting stuff to be learnt there.

Keep doing as you are doing. If there is no lesson there, allow them to dissipate and get back to the real work, tackling that anxious source inside of you.

Take care :)