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Kellie
01-04-2014, 06:23 PM
The pain inside, the worrying, the constant guilt, over thinking, sadness, anger, worthlessness and everything else that is constantly on my mind. How do I make it all stop because i all i want to do is end it, end me. Dramatic as it sounds, its feels like that option can give me a way out.

As much as I want to, I won't but what else is there? Stay in bed forever? I need help but can't bare to get it, I pretend to be asleep as anyone approaches my room, because nobody around me gets it. I only hurt those around me by all of this and there is so much I have to do but I can't even think how I will get through it. Usually I would say I can do it. But I can't. Someone.. I need help. Anxiety is the worst. Its like I want people to know that I am not okay, i want to be left alone and nobody say a word about it yet I don't want to tell them, i don't want to show them. Not even to my mumma..

I am so tired of trying and I am so close to giving up..

AmberGbenga
01-04-2014, 07:46 PM
Sweety, take a deep breath. Take a few more before reading on.. Really concentrate on your breathing jus for a moment. Now, you are not alone, it's important to know that, millions of people suffer with what you have. It is eatin you away.. Your suffering everyday, you are your own demon. Right now you feel so small, so alone and scared. You my dear, have hit rock bottom. We have all been there one time or maybe more than once. It is a horrible place, you jus want to end it all.. But guess what. That, is way to easy. Take a moment, imagine your funeral, all those people who are hurt, your mum is crying.. Hysterically, guess what. You have not over come this, the depression anxiety and all the feelings you had while alive, are not dead with you, you have selfishly passed them into your mum, your family, everyone who loves you. That, is the easy way out, that is selfish. Don't do that to the ones you love. Now imagine your mum, she is going through what you are now, but you didn't know. One day.. She can't take it anymore.. She chooses to end it. How would you feel? The thoughts of anger towards that person, why didnt she come to me, how could she leave me like this.. Then the guilt comes in, I should have asked if she needed to talk, I should have been there more for her.. It's said you don't know what you got till its gone. This is very accurate, if you passed away, your mum would carry emence guilt.. So why did I say all those exactly? Because you need to see the reality of ending it, that my dear is NOT an option. Don't be selfish. It also brings to light that if your mum passed away, you'd wished she talked to you about her problems.. Meaning you need to talk to someone. You need help, you cannot getnoutnof this black deep hole your in.. Someone needs to throw you on a rope but it's your choice whether to climb it and it's your strength to climb it. No one can help you unless you want to help yourself. You have hit rock bottom, the only place to go is up from here, you can do it hun, one step, one day, one heart beat at a time.

cdfrank
01-04-2014, 08:32 PM
Like she said everyone experience anxiety but don't nobody understand how it really effects GAD sufferers on the daily basis! It takes away out life basically and we have a hard time getting it back to where it should be! I suffer from this everyday for about 3 years and it has made me weak, it has made me depressed, it has made me want to give up! BUT I am a Christian and I can't give up but you have to find a way to deal and I'm still trying my anxiety is at it's worst right now and I don't know what to do anymore

reneek
01-04-2014, 08:39 PM
Ladies, it will get better. I promise you, it does get better. But, it doesn't mean it will go away forever. You must find the one way that puts anxiety in its place in your life. You must fight it with all your power. I know it leaves you weak; I know you don't want to be bothered with others. It's too hard to explain. I was nothing but a lifeless ball in the corner of the couch rocking myself, praying to God that I wouldn't die, my heart beating out of my chest, fears and worries that I cannot even explain. I've been where you are. You must educate yourself about your anxiety. Knowledge gives you power to fight your anxiety. Once you know that you are stronger than your anxiety, it will not be able to control you like this. I pray all of you find that power.

Dahila
01-04-2014, 09:08 PM
I am Gad sufferers for years, I do understand what it does to life.

Kellie
01-05-2014, 02:19 AM
Thank you, I know all the things about anxiety and I know that I am not alone and other people go through this. It doesn't make it hurt any less at the time. Its the worst feeling and it makes everything feel so worthless. But all of you have helped me today. For that, I owe you alot.

Dahila
01-05-2014, 06:23 AM
Knowledge about anxiety helps, to recognize the signs but does not help to control it:)