Hey :-)

[Gemgem]

Hope you're all ok?

I'm back in work Monday and had my first CBT appointment, it's on 15th jan.

My anxiety isn't great at the moment but putting it down do going back to work after 2 months off! Feels like the last 2 months have been a blur now, Christmas has been and gone, a new year is here, I'm feeling rather emotional about it all.

I hope you all had a great Xmas and new year

Lots of love xxx

[MiST]

Good luck back at work! I know what you mean, everything is kind of back to normal now xmas and new year are out the way.

[jessed03]

GemGem!!! I missed this.

Good to see you :)

New year is bring the changes for you I see. Back to work and into CBT. Here's hoping it's a good one.

If you don't come online before them, I hope it goes well, come tell us all about it.

Take care xx

Mist, you have to sign off messages to GemGem with a kiss ;)

[Enduronman]

Gemmy!

YAY!!! (oh wait, look what MIST taught me to do)...

849

E-Man..:)

[Gemgem]

Enduronman, I couldn't view what you posted, but my phone wanted to change Enduronman to 'end ironman' lol! That made me chuckle, I don't think I have the power to do that!!!

Jessed, yes it's nice to give kisses :-)

I should come on here daily really as it's good to be reminded that you're not alone!

I got a questionnaire to fill out to take to my first CBT appointment and it's all about how many times in the last couple of weeks I've felt anxious, if I avoid situations etc etc. I still feel sometimes that things I feel are stupid and I should just stop it but I can't, like I constantly get feelings that I'm useless and letting people down, and those are exact words in the questionnaire so it's made me realise that it's a package deal! Feeling crappy about yourself, anxiety etc and I can't help it!

It's Sunday now, which means one thing WORK TOMORROW!!!! I hope I sleep tonight! At least it's only half days for a couple of weeks, that will be nice.

Xxxxxx - extra kisses today because I know Jessed loves them so much ;-) lol

[jessed03]

GemGem, you sweet thing. You don't know how much I fight the urge to come and catnap you, and push you into a swimming pool filled with peanut M&Ms, and then dive in and rescue you!! X haaa

[Gemgem]

If you push me into a pool of peanut m&m's please do not rescue me, I'll eat my way out lol!!

Xxx

[jessed03]

Pack your things... I'm coming to catnap you xx

[Gemgem]

Ha ha what does one pack to swim in peanut M&M's?!

This sounds like one of my crazy dreams! 'So I was swimming in peanut m&m's......' Lol!

Couple of nights ago I dreamed that I went to LA for a wedding, every time I went to try and eat my food someone took it away, so I left to go to my hotel but the pavement was on a hill which was made of glass tiles and every time I moved I slid right to the bottom! It was horrible not being able to move, then some drug lord came to my rescue and said if I could tell funny jokes I would have to marry him but if not he'd kill me! I escaped and spent the rest of the dream running around a building looking for my daughter. I'd find her then promptly lose her again and I had a backpack which kept getting bigger and bigger and I kept getting stuck in doorways!!!

Send the men in white coats!

There's gotto be some subliminal message in that somewhere lol xx

[Enduronman]

END IRONMAN!!!

LMAO!!

I just saw this...I hope youre doing well GEMGEM!!

Your last post is hilarious!! Send in the white coats!!...(as long as it isnt time for my electroshock therapy session)... :)

[Steven Daws]

Good luck with work and the CBT, I hope both go well :)

[jessed03]

Guys!!!

DIS MY GEMGEM!!!

Ok, I'll share her :D

--------------

Now Stephen has brought it up how did your CBT form look when you filled it in? Did you see lots of problems? Did you circle all the high numbers?

[Gemgem]

The first part was how often I've felt things like anxiety in the last 2 weeks, also how often I've had trouble sleeping and how often I've worried about things - these were all in the 'most if the time' category.

The next bit was a 1-10 scale with questions like 'how often would you avoid certain situations for fear of embarrassing yourself' 1 being never avoid 10 being definitely avoid. These questions were more a 4 or 5, I've wanted to avoid things but forced myself to do them. It also asks how badly it's affected my day to day life. Although I've not been able to cope with work I've tried my best to get on with things at home. Plus my husband knows what it's like and has got me moving and out of the house on the bad days, nowhere major, just a trip to tesco or a spin in the car when he had to run errands.

There's also the dreaded suicidal thoughts and hurting yourself question. This scares me, and I can't believe I'm admitting it but I have often thought about hurting myself, not suicidal, just want to cause myself pain. Why is this? Perhaps it's so I can focus on a different feeling because the anxiety gets so bad? I've not admitted that any of my family or friends because I'm so scared they'll be horrified and I know it's something I'll have to tell my CBT therapist!

Bet you're sorry you asked now lol! Xx

[Gemgem]

Thanks Frankie, I've told family and friends Bout the anxiety just not the hurting myself part!

I'm really hoping the CBT will be a big help xx

[em1]

Anxity makes you think all
Sorts of things,I suffer with this and I think it
So scary but they are only thoughts

[jessed03]

Good luck at work GemGem!

[Ashlee13x]

Good Luck!! Hope you're first day back is as easy as can be! Let us all know how you get on xx