Just signed up. Here's my story.

[reiewer]

Oh, hello. My name is Casey and I am 19 years old. I'm not the most open person in real life and I don't really have many friends or acquaintances. I have always been a quiet and closed off person ever since I was a kid and for the most part it doesn't bother me that much. About eight months ago I had my first panic attack. It was the most terrifying thing I have ever went through and the whole event was surreal. It was like it came out of nowhere and I still can't figure out why that was the only time I had one. Since then, I have not had a panic attack that was THAT bad.

A couple months ago my father passed away from heart failure and ever since then I have been getting a lot of weird responses from my body. Stuff like skipping heart beats, shortness of breath, dizziness, tiredness, tightness in my chest, random aches in my body, stomach nausea, and just a sense of disorientation. At first I thought there was seriously something wrong with me like I was going to have a heart attack or that I was dying. After doing some research online I found out that these are all physical symptoms of anxiety. Even though I know what these symptoms I am having are I still get this overwhelming sense of dread that I am going to die... constantly. I am always worrying about my death and the fear is so intense that some nights I lay awake in bed wishing I would die because it becomes unbearable. The few moments where I feel normal are amazing and I feel like I am okay but then I go back to worrying and then the physical stuff starts again.

I just needs some reassurance and some support that what I am experiencing is normal for someone with an anxiety disorder. And keep in mind that I have not been to the doctor as I am in the process of getting medical insurance and therefore can not afford to see a doctor at the moment. I haven't been diagnosed with anything as of yet and am not taking any kind of medication. I sort of have a phobia of taking any kind of medication, even tylenol.

Any sort of response would be helpful. Thank you.

[Enduronman]

Welcome Reieewwer!!

I will read into this and give you a better response once things quiet down in here (Son is going home to his..other parents place)...

E-Man...:)

[NeverToo...Fear]

Hi Casey and welcome here.. :)

Firstly, I'm sorry about the loss of your father.. And I do think it's anxiety causing the weird responses from your body. A lot of the times when someone we know passes, our mortality hits us really hard and we begin to feel like the clock is ticking down on us, getting as extreme as developing symptoms that mimic serious conditions--even if that is furthest from the case! It's different for everyone, but one thing that does help is time.. 19 is way too young to be fearing your death!

I hope this little slice of advice helps a bit.... :)

[MiST]

Hello and welcome to the community..

http://www.freesmileys.org/custom/image/grey%5E_%5Earial%5E_%5E0%5E_%5E0%5E_%5EWELCOME REIEWER%5E_%5E.gif

[Enduronman]

Ok...

Very sorry for your loss.

Hypochondria,..

Afraid of medication.

No Doctor, yet...

We'll get you situated, best we can...

without meds or a Dr. BUT that is what we're going to have to work on....that FEAR will need be overcome, in order to get Better.

E-Man..:)

[Colbert87]

I have the same symptoms as you in my chest it also feels like I have to burp but I just can't my head is constantly under pressure also and seems as if I never get a break from any of it but the few hours I do it's amazing to feel normal.. I'm even afraid to lay down fast and I'm also afraid of taking pills or drugs or alcohol and I haven't been to the doctor either other than when I was freakinnout an they did all sort so heart tests that all came back normal which was a great relief so your not alone with your symptoms I have them too constantly

[Enduronman]

We'll get you where you need to be friend ^^^^^^........:)

[CrystalB]

Welcome!

Good for you for reaching out.
I'm a bit older than you, but I can relate and my sister is close to your age. We lost our mom to lung cancer in 2007 and our father to a motorcycle accident in 2011. Aside from the obvious shock and grief that accompany a devastating loss, we (my sister and I) both felt what we thought were symptoms of cancer. My mom's cancer spread to her brain. She was only 51. My sister started having psychosomatic symptoms like headache and dizziness. We had ourselves virtually convinced we were sick.

My point is you are not alone. With an anxiety disorder, we tend to be hypersensitive to any bodily change or feeling. We are so imaginative, we can create symptoms. Your fears are most likely a combination of fear and grief. The fear is that it will happen to you. The grief is that you are mimicking symptoms of what happened to your father,to perhaps unconsciously be close to him. It's our strange irrational way of being with them.

Tell yourself when these things arise that it's a feeling your mind is creating because you lost your father. Know that it will pass and that you are healthy. Come here anytime you need to.

My condolences for your loss.

Crystal

[Dahila]

Welcome to the forum :)