A delicate one

[MiST]

Hey guys and girls,

I love my girlfriend very much and we have been together for almost nine years now and been through a lot together. However i have a slight concern.

For the last few months she has been gaining a lot of weight and i'm starting to find looking at her naked a bit of a turn off!

I am not a shallow person and i see her inner beauty but physical attraction and sex is also an important aspect of any relationship.

How can i let her know in a sympathetic way how i feel? I don't want to hurt her feelings but also want her to recognize my feelings.

It's a bit more than just a xmas binge as she has been steadily gaining weight over a few months now.

Cheers, MiST.

[NeverToo...Fear]

ooh, yeah, a delicate subject indeed! No girl likes to be told there are getting fatter or plump, but... I think she would have to be noticing.. I mean, after all she is living with her body.. you'd only be pointing out a growing obvious.

In a relationship, feelings and communication go both ways, so I think you definitely need to have a chat with her. Maybe there is an underlying cause to the weight gain, like she is depressed or something.. Obviously if you are going to broach the subject, start with telling her what you've told us here; that you see her inner beauty.. that you love her. Then tell her your concerns (which are legitimate) And also let her know that you'll be supportive in helping her loose the pounds. Maybe diet and exercise with her and just make her feel like you will help her 100%

Good luck ! :)

[Enduronman]

Watch the movie Shallow Hal today...If she doesn't look like Rosemary, or any of the other women he sees when he's in the "trance"...Then you're safe!!....

:rolleyes:

E-Man..

[em1]

Oh I love that film lol

[Enduronman]

It is funny!!! (Oh, there she is...Where, behind the rhino?)... BAAHHA!!! It's great!

That's your Scrip for today MIST!! (Wayne)

Watch it!....:D

[MiST]

Seen it..http://www.4smileys.com/smileys/happy-smileys/happy-smiley58.gif

No she is not that big..

[Enduronman]

HA HA you're in trouble for showing me how to 844

[janey]

OMG. IS THAT YOU JOSEPH?!! Are you my boyfriend?!!
You don't like that I'm getting fat!!

[MiST]

HA HA you're in trouble for showing me how to 844

Bring it on..http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/boxing/boxing-with-punching-bag-smiley-emoticon.gif

[jessed03]

OMG. IS THAT YOU JOSEPH?!! Are you my boyfriend?!!
You don't like that I'm getting fat!!

Nicely done. Nicely done indeed.

[Dahila]

847

Mist I would not risk it:)

[MiST]

Well i better learn some ninja skills then..

http://guyism.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/coolest-cat.gif

[AmberGbenga]

ESHHHHHH!!! Try to avoid saying it! This is TOO delicate.. I suggest bitting the bullet and joining her. Tell her you want to get healthy and fit and you'd like if you both could take the journey together as it's so much easier if you have a partner.. Does she say she is fat? Or give you any signs that she can tell she is? If she does it's PERFECT! When she brings it up, say baby you are beautiful in my eyes, but you need to feel good about yourself, why don't we take on a healthy lifestyle? It will help you make you feel better about yourself, besides I've been thinking about doing it for awhile. What ya think? Hopefully she agrees. NEVER under any circumstances tell your mrs your not attracted to her or its hard to have sex with her. That will be it, don't expect sex for a very long time.

[MiST]

I already work out, my BMI is where it needs to be and i run in the evenings and swim at least twice a week so it's kinda hard to say i want to start a healthy lifestyle. I do all the cooking and its good healthy food, it's just that she has started snacking at work, chocolate and sweets and what not.

[Dahila]

Oh Mist listen to Amber she knows what she is saying.
I like the ninja though Hehe
Mist if she is snacking on chocolate their something missing, could be as simple as magnesium, or maybe she is not satisfied with herself. We feel so much pain and are focused on ourselves, we often forget about our partners needs. They may deal with pain too, but we are to busy with our.....Just a suggestion..:)

[AmberGbenga]

I agree, maybe she is not feeling good. It could be something missing in the relationship, this is good. I tell ya mate, she probably knows that your acting differently towards her, us girls usually find comfort in chocolate. Ask her to JOIN you, make the effort, rekindle the relationship LOVE HER bro.. She may feel slightly alone, is girls arnt just pretty faces we can tell when something is up. Do stuff together! Go hiking or swimming or to the gym.. If YOU make the effort to pay her attention and want to be around her and secretly help you and her than this is the way to go. Do physical stuff together, aswell as have one night a week as date night. This night let her eat whatever the fuck she wants. See, when we excersize after awhile eating healthy comes naturally, the choccy snaking will become less and less. But she needs one day or night a week to relax and indulge on the good shit.

[AmberGbenga]

Also, speak with her, communicate. Ask her this question. Are you happy? This will open a door, at first she may say ofcource, but if she is eating chocolate and not excersizing and gaining weight.. Odds are she is not happy, could be work, could be the relationship, could be herself. Let her open up to you, and help her conquer and get happy again! That's what your there for, you are her rock and at the moment, your not attracted to her, this is bad.. And can become very bad. You'd protect her from a dangerous situation, so protect her from hurting words that can lead to her being alot worse. Just say you noticed that she seems unhappy.. And you love her and want to help

[MiST]

No offense but that is a typical female response. I do ask her to join me on a run or go swimming and she says no everytime. I cook all her meals and do all the house work too. I buy her whatever she wants and even cleared her credit card just last month.

I suggest going out for romantic meals but shes not interested. I do everything for her but just can't win.

[AmberGbenga]

Well that's your answer than. She isn't happy. Seems to be within the relationship.

[MiST]

Fine, fuck it.

[jessed03]

Mist, you know what happens to female cats when they get the snip? They put on weight and become lazy. Their hormones change.

Perhaps you being such a good bf has made her comfortable? We are hormonal beings. Maybe she needs you to become more testosterone fuelled, so she in turn becomes more oestrogen fuelled, and does more of the normal female things like cooks and stays in shape. Females with higher oestrogen levels are naturally image conscious, and caring about satisfying their man.

Females are emotional beings. You can't use logic to overcome this problem, the female brain responds not to it. Women just like to think it does ;)

[AmberGbenga]

Not saying it's your fault' you seem to do everything and she is taking advantage. You can do 1 of 2 things. Just stop, don't pay for anything don't cook for her don't offer to do anything. She has seemed to become accustomed to you doing everything, and that isn't right. So you could drop it all, or have a conversation with her. Tell her YOUR unhappy with how the relationship is, she does nothing and you do everything.

[AmberGbenga]

Mate I'm just trying to help, I didn't know the finer details.. Now I do and I've changed my answer.. Females are emotional fucks, we are pretty fuxked up..

[Dahila]

I stop eating and drop weight like crazy when I am heartbroken

[AmberGbenga]

Dahila, I'm exactly the same lol

[Dahila]

I am telling my guy to drop me for a while, he does not want it, he must like my cooking:)))