lonliness and anxiety..

[bluey]

Hi guys,

I have had body dysmorphic disorder and social phobia for 10 years now. I am 25 and in those times i have/had been a hermit.

That was until last year when i met a guy oneline and for the first time in my life went on a plane by myself into a big city by myself to meet this stranger.. going thru a million anxiety attacks i had never been so assertive to pushing myself out of the comfort zone before..

Anyway things didnt go to good but that is a long story tho i made a best friend.. i have since come back interstate and living back with my parents in the environment i had been a hermit and this has made me very uncomfortable and highly anxious.. so much so that i over contacted my friend who changed everything for me.. he chose to have a break from me and that mafe my anxiety gar worse because he was the link to me being another, a different person other than the hermit.

To me this friend makes me think i can do anything and helps me believe in myself that i am accepted and valued - not an outcast like i have always thought and behaved..

but since hes hada break from me i am terrified i am going to be the same person i was esp living in the same environment and being alone.
i dont even want to associate with my parents much because i over did that all those years as a hermit and i am in a sort of flying the nest type of mode- i dont want to get reattatched and i cant settle here..

Anyone else cope with lonliness?

[thesmurfs]

I can relate a lot with your situation, I'm also 25 and have suffered with Social Phobia for 10 years and had agrophobia for around 2/3 years of those as well. I don't suffer form BDD but I do have extremely low self esteem.

Although it's great that your friend made you feel a lot better and more positive, I don't think you should see him as this being who is the only person that holds the answer to your problems - that obviously felt a huge deal for him and he needed a break.

You should feel positive for you, not for anyone else. If I were you I would leave things for a couple of weeks and then send him a short email/text just saying would love to chat and catch up. Although friends should be there when we are having problems and need help, you may have put him under a little too much pressure.

Maybe you should see your doctor and have a talk about possible treatments to help with your anxiety. I've had a combination of medication and CBT (Therapy) and they really helped wonders. And if you've had it in the pass and thought it didn't help, it doesn't mean it won't work again. The first therapist I saw was a disaster, but I gave it another go with someone else a few months later and it worked really well.

SMURF