One Thing After Another

[sweetypie]

I feel like I can't breathe. I can't stop crying all the time. I'm sobbing uncontrollably right now. I feel like all these bad things keep happening to me and that there is no break from them.

I am only 27 years old and I feel like I shouldn't be going through all of this! It isn't fair and I'm so depressed, I can't take it.

Basically, this is what has happened to me in the past month. My fiance and I were trying to move out of my parents' house, but were struggling to because we are very poor and lost our house to a fire two years ago and it's been very hard to put the pieces back together.

We were finally getting really close after a lot of work to finding a place that was within our budget, but just as I got hope, my fiance got laid off of his job and now we're even poorer than we were before.

On top of that, I was just diagnosed with a serious illness. (It's a genetic thing, so there's really nothing I could have ever done not to get it.) I'm not going to say what illness it is, but my life has literally been flipped upside down. Every second of every day is now spent coping with and treating this incurable illness. I cry constantly every day. And last night, I woke-up hyperventilating and having a panic attack because I dreamed that I died from the illness because eventually this illness might kill me or at the very least cripple me.

We don't have the money to pay the doctor bills and I hate seeing the doctor, I'm terrified of the tests and of medication, but this disease means I'm going to have a lifetime of tests, medication, and doctor's appointments.

I also have never had a baby or started a family and honestly, this illness is going to make being pregnant and having children a million times harder for me.

And the reason I'm not saying what disease I have is because I don't want to hear on here or from anyone else, how they think I should be dealing with this disease. I'm doing the best I can and I don't want advice right now or people to try to fix something that is incurable. It can't be fix. Not everything can be.

So I'm so ashamed that I'm sick that I won't tell any of my friends about it, but I just cry all day and freak out my family and fiance because I'm coping horribly with what is happening.

I just hate my life right now. I hate it so, so much.

[jessed03]

Nope, some things most certainly can't be fixed. It's very sad.

EMAN has some Incurable diseases. The best you can do is manage. Not that inspiring a thought is it.

Is it a disease you will be able to get under control in time? Spending your whole day trying to manage something sucks.

Is it diabetes? Sorry, I know it isn't a guessing game, I just know lots of people with anxiety get that.

I'm sorry you're going through all of this. I have a genetic thing, not majorly serious, but I get what a fuck up it is when life gives you something you didn't deserve.

It's ok to cry. I'd give you a hug but my arm doesn't seem to go through my computer screen the way it does in that old Ah-Ha video.

[NeverToo...Fear]

Hi Sweetypie.. so sorry what you are going through right now.. it's bad enough to have anxiety, and then a disease on top of that. I can't imagine what you are going through.

I don't really have advice to give; just support. Know that we are here for you. Crying helps. Cry as much as you need.
I was guessing diabetes as well- but you really don't have to tell us. Your life, your privacy.

Life is a total bitch sometimes, and it's almost like the dude upstairs likes to throw hurdles just to see how we handle. Maybe getting a good laugh or learning about us along the way.

I know its hard, but try not to loose hope. Once you hit rock bottom, you can only go up from there.

[AmberGbenga]

Hey sweety pie,

I know things must be so tough for you right now.. I'm here to offer my support.
Life is unfair, but know everything happens for a reason, this illness might be your inner happiness cure. It's going to be a hard long road.. But you are capable of so much and I've heard of so many success stories about illnesses that 'can't be cured' cancer that has literally disappeared. For example, there is a man I work with, he is probably around 45+ lovely man, very insightful. He was diagnosed with cancer, it took him a couple months of feeling sorry for himself, all the why me's.. Which is UNDERSTANDABLE! He decided this is it, he could let his life whither away from him, or he could EMBRACE it. He quit smoking, went on a healthy living plan and started excersizing.. At first he could only run 100meters.. Now he does 5k per day! He started meditating, looking after himself mentally and physicaly.. He was happy. Guess what. CANCER GONE! Doctors said he wouldn't live.. He is sure it is either a mirical.. Or he turned his life into happiness. And that is just one story.

I have made a video on YouTube about anxiety, I think you may benefit from it.. Tell me what you think if you decide to watch it. Also, take this by the horns, ride it.. Don't let this beat you and get you down. You have a whole life ahead of you, some of the happiest people I know.. Are crippled or mentally challenged. They have no choice to take life for what it is and enjoy the small things.. Unlike us who concentrate on the negative.


http://youtu.be/kN9Z1ZPeoj4