Scared, Intrusive thoughts again

[em1]

I can't believe how bad I've been today when I was feeling not to bad a few weeks ago.
I've been on setraline 50mg for 7 months now and cut down to
Less than half a tablet a day,my doctor put me on these as I had intrusive thoughts that I was going to harm my childern and go to prison,
This scared the hell out of me,I'm a loveing mother and love my childern more than anything in the whole world,the fear,guilt and why am I thinking this is to much,and it's now come
Back,I've never had anything like this be4,it was always Heath anxitey and now I wished I had that instead of this living hell
Can anyone relate ?
Thank you

[jessed03]

Yep, intrusive thoughts are almost as rough as anxiety can get.

At first.

Often they go, or you make peace with them.

Just so you know, there is 0% chance you act on these. I mean absolutely zero, but... They aren't nice at all. Sucks you're going through them Em.

[mattharlow88]

Hi, I am exactly the same! I have had bad anxiety for a few year now, about 3 month ago I went to the doctors and they gave me sertraline 50mg to, I have had a couple of bad thoughts about hurting something, someone or myself but these thoughts only came after I started taking the tablets x

[em1]

Thanks for the replies,I would not care if it was thoughts about me but the hurt I feel that it's about my children is unbearable

[jessed03]

Thanks for the replies,I would not care if it was thoughts about me but the hurt I feel that it's about my children is unbearable

That's why they're about your children. If they were about you, and you didn't care, it wouldn't be anxiety :) it knows your buttons huh!

[rhar]

I had the same when my anxiety was at it's worst. I was frightened to pick up a knife to make dinner!!
But after many months I accepted that bc these thoughts were making me feel so stressed and horrendous it meant I would never ever do them!! Our anxiety is what brings on the thoughts and then creates more anxiety. I was having full blown panic attacks with my intrusive thoughts.

I promise it will get better x

[jessed03]

Hi, I am exactly the same! I have had bad anxiety for a few year now, about 3 month ago I went to the doctors and they gave me sertraline 50mg to, I have had a couple of bad thoughts about hurting something, someone or myself but these thoughts only came after I started taking the tablets x

I'd get off the straight away if you haven't already. Had a similar experience on Prozac. Some SSRIs can cause that symptom.

[em1]

I did get rid of them and then they came back and it was hell the first time And now it's feeling the same,why do we think things like this :( it's the worst

[mattharlow88]

I haven't yet, I'm going to the doctors in the next couple of days so I will tell him about this, thanks!

[Cullingford]

Hi Em,
I have struggled badly with these thoughts to as you say its a living hell, Im afraid I dont understand why your brain would torture you in this way. As Jessed says it seems to target your worst fears. I became so confused and depressed over this. I am on 50mg of Sertraline and it keeps most of them at bay the ones that bother me now I talk them through with my wife.
These thoughts are not true. I no it can be hard to believe sometimes but they really are not true.

Im so sorry your going through this, its the worst.

[em1]

I hope they will
Go away again and never come back I want to be like me again :(

[Cullingford]

I hope they will too it really upset me to know you are suffering this.
Keep strong

[em1]

Thank you I will
Try but my it makes my anxitey so so
Bad :( And I was doing fab just be4
Christmas to,it maybe to do
With the anniversary of my dad passing away three years ago to,I just don't know

[Cullingford]

I have managed to get over this and im sure you will too, talking these thoughts over with someone really helps. I went too long before I got any help, but I did after being dragged to the doctors by my wife and the thoughts have gone.

Maybe as you say the Anniversary of your Dad made you sad and low and these bloody thoughts just crept back in.

[em1]

I have managed to get over this and im sure you will too, talking these thoughts over with someone really helps. I went too long before I got any help, but I did after being dragged to the doctors by my wife and the thoughts have gone. Maybe as you say the Anniversary of your Dad made you sad and low and these bloody thoughts just crept back in.

I'm on setraline 50mg but cut it down to 25mg I will go back up to 50mg and see how I go,my doctor is really nice and I was very trueful and have been with my husband and family

[Cullingford]

Im so pleased you have you can talk this over with your family, I'm sure they keep telling you not to listen to these thoughts which is true. When you get the sertraline sorted, its like someone turns the switch off what a relief. I would get one thought then rationalise it, then it would just find another and so on I became so tired and confused.

Keep getting reasurance from your family and get to the Dr quickly.

[KitahD]

Same thing here...horrible thoughts of harming my children. I also fear becoming schizophrenic or bipolar. These are my two biggest fears as the news coverage about mothers who kill their children really disturbs me...also, my sister was committed three times after mental breaks. They diagnosed her as bipolar but she hasn't been on meds for over ten years and no other breaks...which isn't characteristic of bipolar. Thus, I fear being committed because I fear I'll 'go crazy' like she did.

[em1]

Same thing here...horrible thoughts of harming my children. I also fear becoming schizophrenic or bipolar. These are my two biggest fears as the news coverage about mothers who kill their children really disturbs me...also, my sister was committed three times after mental breaks. They diagnosed her as bipolar but she hasn't been on meds for over ten years and no other breaks...which isn't characteristic of bipolar. Thus, I fear being committed because I fear I'll 'go crazy' like she did.

Yes it really disturbs me and I keep thinking why did them mothers do that,it makes me panic so much,if you need to chat please message me

[reneek]

Em1, I understand your fear. I have been on Zoloft (or sertraline) for the past, well going on 10 years now. My anxiety and panic problems all began when I started going through perimenopause at the age of 41. I will not even revisit that time because it was the worst. But, suffice it to say I currently take 100 mg a day. 100 or 150 mg is usually the therapeutic level for Zoloft (sertraline). You were taking 50 mg and cut it in half. It could be that your anxiety is returning because the level you are at is not enough. This could be the reason you are having intrusive thoughts again. Stop allowing yourself from being afraid of hurting your children. Continue with positive thoughts such as how your children are the light of your life and how much you love them. Continue this thought process through meditation. Be mindful of what is going on at that very moment when you feel like that. Being mindful means what is going on at that exact moment? Are you in danger? Is something threatening you or your children's wellbeing? Look outside yourself and notice that everything is fine and okay. As far as the Zoloft is concerned, I work for a psychologist and asked him once how will I know when I should stop taking it. He asked me "does it work?" I said yes. He said then take it. After attempting to switch my medication a short time ago and having to revisit the worst anxiety and panic again, they will be prying those pills out of my hands upon my death! I still get breakthrough anxiety, and I am experiencing that right now, and as much as I hate it, its there and I have to deal with it. Being fearful just causes more anxiety and physical pain because of tension and stress. Take a deep breath and know that you are fine and your children are fine. Hugs.

[em1]

Em1, I understand your fear. I have been on Zoloft (or sertraline) for the past, well going on 10 years now. My anxiety and panic problems all began when I started going through perimenopause at the age of 41. I will not even revisit that time because it was the worst. But, suffice it to say I currently take 100 mg a day. 100 or 150 mg is usually the therapeutic level for Zoloft (sertraline). You were taking 50 mg and cut it in half. It could be that your anxiety is returning because the level you are at is not enough. This could be the reason you are having intrusive thoughts again. Stop allowing yourself from being afraid of hurting your children. Continue with positive thoughts such as how your children are the light of your life and how much you love them. Continue this thought process through meditation. Be mindful of what is going on at that very moment when you feel like that. Being mindful means what is going on at that exact moment? Are you in danger? Is something threatening you or your children's wellbeing? Look outside yourself and notice that everything is fine and okay. As far as the Zoloft is concerned, I work for a psychologist and asked him once how will I know when I should stop taking it. He asked me "does it work?" I said yes. He said then take it. After attempting to switch my medication a short time ago and having to revisit the worst anxiety and panic again, they will be prying those pills out of my hands upon my death! I still get breakthrough anxiety, and I am experiencing that right now, and as much as I hate it, its there and I have to deal with it. Being fearful just causes more anxiety and physical pain because of tension and stress. Take a deep breath and know that you are fine and your children are fine. Hugs.

Thank you for writing that,I've had the worst nights sleep and today I feel bad,I wished I could just turn a switch and turn all the anxiety and thoughts off

[Enduronman]

next time...take some antihistamines pllleeeaaassssseeeeee.....:(

E-Man...

[em1]

next time...take some antihistamines pllleeeaaassssseeeeee.....:( E-Man...

Antihistamines?

[Enduronman]

Like benedryl (diphenhydramine)...for like allergic reactions, rashes, itches,...those are antihistamines. They make you tired...zzzzzzzzzzz

[em1]

Oh right,have you ever had thoughts?

[Enduronman]

Oh yes!!! Up all night, can't shut your brain down, toss, turn,..and then realize that all of the thoughts, didn't even matter as none of it happened, and none of it could even be changed anyway.

Yes, and then take something to get some sleep..zzzzzzz

E. :)

[em1]

Oh yes!!! Up all night, can't shut your brain down, toss, turn,..and then realize that all of the thoughts, didn't even matter as none of it happened, and none of it could even be changed anyway. Yes, and then take something to get some sleep..zzzzzzz E. :)

It's scary tho,I wished I
Could shut it up,more so as it's about my childern :(

[reneek]

Em1, fortunately I typically don't have difficulty sleeping. I take my sertraline right before bed because it does tend to make me sleepy, and that just seems like the best time for me.

However, I do have nights when I've become an insomniac. Those are the worst because sometimes I don't fall asleep until 4 or 5 in the morning, and I have to get up by 8 am to go to work.

I truly wish there were just a button or a switch that could turn it all off.

[em1]

I sleep very well normally tho I've allways been a night owl lol
Oh well it will get better again I know it will :)

[Gingerbreadelf]

I've had these thoughts, years ago, I was having these weird thoughts about knives cutting me and loved ones etc.. and I noticed this happened just after I saw a knife in the kitchen when I happened to be in an anxious mood and I was also quite tired at the time, so my mind automatically jumped to thoughts of "DANGER"..the knife, the thoughts of the knives raced through me, I thought I was going crazy.. this happened circa 2009, and I didn't figure out what the hell was going on til a few years later.

In short, when the mind is in panic mood, the brain perceives almost everything in sight as "DANGER" anxiety says "that YOU are a possible danger to your children" your brain is racking up all these disturbing thoughts of what you could "do" to your children, it's making you freak out and be uncomfortable on purpose, that's it's job. Like someone above said it does know how to press your buttons.

I've had these same intrusive thoughts, not just about knives, but also about loved ones, compulsive/upsetting feelings like I could hurt them, it's beyond awful, but it is what happened during extreme anxiety.

So when you get these thoughts again, remember it's just your brain making you "aware" of danger, ignore it. I have read it's the basal ganglia part in our brain that causes this reaction during anxiety attacks to make us hyper aware of everything, and that really was a break through to me at the time learning why this was happening during panic attacks.

My advice to you is to go take a hot bath, or go on a long walk, get that tension out. Hope I was of some help anyway.

[em1]

Thank you for your reply,I don't Even know where they come from,u had the same thoughts a while ago and then they just went and the last few days they have come
Back :(