Stiggy333
12-31-2013, 05:55 PM
My name is Tommy.
Depression & Anxiety
My Story
Well I've been thinking of putting my story here for a while and finally decided to give it a go.
I think I've always had anxiety and depression.
I'm not sure I was born with it but I've never really had any self-esteem and was very very shy growing up. I still am.
I think the worst of it started probably in 1995 when I went to middle school. I really hated it. I hated getting up early. I hated the school bus. I hated the school. I hated the kids, the teachers (not all of them but most).
I got picked on. It was too crowded. Teachers were so strict and sometimes just plain cruel.
I really really HATED it!!
I got a bad haircut (thanks to myself) that same year and started wearing a hat. I still wear one to this day. I have long hair. I'm not bald but I can't seem to let go of my hat. I guess it's a security blanket type of thing.
My self esteem pretty much died almost fully when I started having dental issues. I would grind my teeth so hard they would literally break in half. I wouldn't go to a dentist either. I was too scared. I still haven't gone and experience agonizing tooth pain sometimes. I do have an appointment to go in a few weeks. I've cancelled many times before but I must do it this time. I just have to do it. I have learned that we must go through pain (mentally and physically) before things can get better. It's just the way life works!
I've spent most of the years since then not doing much of anything.
There are some things I'm proud of. I've been a vegetarian for eight years now. I recently cut way back on caffeine.
I managed to go see a counselor this year and now have medical insurance.
I did manage to get two jobs in the last few years. One only lasted a day, the other a few months.
I want to work very badly.
People always tell me I could easily get on social security, but if I did that, then what incentive would I have to wanna get better?
I wanna work and get used to people and life and the real world and not be afraid anymore.
I will not give up. I know it will happen.
I'm 30. Still young. But time goes by very fast and we never know how long we have so I need to get crackin'!
My anxiety has never been worse than my school years, until recently. My Dad had to be put in the hospital for a number of reasons and has been through Hell lately and my cat Cocoa (whom I've had 20 years and was my best friend) died in October.
There have been several times this year when I just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.
God still has me here for a reason. I don't know yet what it is but if I stick around I'll find out. So I'm gonna!
I feel like I have no right giving tips on how to manage anxiety as I don't do a very good job of it myself but I can say a few things that help me manage to get through it.
Number one: Faith! I don't care what God you believe in but if you have faith in something good then stick with it!
Number two. Lower the caffeine intake. (It's the worst thing for anxiety)
Number three. Meds can work. Sometimes they can't. But from my experience they have helped a lot so at least give it a chance.
Number four: Exercise. I don't do it as much as I should but I feel great when I do.
Number five: Music. Nothing takes me away better.
Number six: Self help books.
Number seven. Be silly sometimes. I like to make silly videos of myself just being a complete moron, dancing in my room or whatever, and put it on youtube. It makes me laugh.
Number eight: Meditation. I've just recently gotten more into it than ever and it's great!
Number nine: Yoga. Again, I don't do this as much as I should either but I feel great when I do.
And last but not least, Number Ten: JUST DON'T GIVE UP! Everyday is different! Nothing lasts forever but our souls! NOT our anxiety!
I hope I can make at least one person feel less alone with my story.
Take care everyone and have a happy 2014!
Depression & Anxiety
My Story
Well I've been thinking of putting my story here for a while and finally decided to give it a go.
I think I've always had anxiety and depression.
I'm not sure I was born with it but I've never really had any self-esteem and was very very shy growing up. I still am.
I think the worst of it started probably in 1995 when I went to middle school. I really hated it. I hated getting up early. I hated the school bus. I hated the school. I hated the kids, the teachers (not all of them but most).
I got picked on. It was too crowded. Teachers were so strict and sometimes just plain cruel.
I really really HATED it!!
I got a bad haircut (thanks to myself) that same year and started wearing a hat. I still wear one to this day. I have long hair. I'm not bald but I can't seem to let go of my hat. I guess it's a security blanket type of thing.
My self esteem pretty much died almost fully when I started having dental issues. I would grind my teeth so hard they would literally break in half. I wouldn't go to a dentist either. I was too scared. I still haven't gone and experience agonizing tooth pain sometimes. I do have an appointment to go in a few weeks. I've cancelled many times before but I must do it this time. I just have to do it. I have learned that we must go through pain (mentally and physically) before things can get better. It's just the way life works!
I've spent most of the years since then not doing much of anything.
There are some things I'm proud of. I've been a vegetarian for eight years now. I recently cut way back on caffeine.
I managed to go see a counselor this year and now have medical insurance.
I did manage to get two jobs in the last few years. One only lasted a day, the other a few months.
I want to work very badly.
People always tell me I could easily get on social security, but if I did that, then what incentive would I have to wanna get better?
I wanna work and get used to people and life and the real world and not be afraid anymore.
I will not give up. I know it will happen.
I'm 30. Still young. But time goes by very fast and we never know how long we have so I need to get crackin'!
My anxiety has never been worse than my school years, until recently. My Dad had to be put in the hospital for a number of reasons and has been through Hell lately and my cat Cocoa (whom I've had 20 years and was my best friend) died in October.
There have been several times this year when I just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.
God still has me here for a reason. I don't know yet what it is but if I stick around I'll find out. So I'm gonna!
I feel like I have no right giving tips on how to manage anxiety as I don't do a very good job of it myself but I can say a few things that help me manage to get through it.
Number one: Faith! I don't care what God you believe in but if you have faith in something good then stick with it!
Number two. Lower the caffeine intake. (It's the worst thing for anxiety)
Number three. Meds can work. Sometimes they can't. But from my experience they have helped a lot so at least give it a chance.
Number four: Exercise. I don't do it as much as I should but I feel great when I do.
Number five: Music. Nothing takes me away better.
Number six: Self help books.
Number seven. Be silly sometimes. I like to make silly videos of myself just being a complete moron, dancing in my room or whatever, and put it on youtube. It makes me laugh.
Number eight: Meditation. I've just recently gotten more into it than ever and it's great!
Number nine: Yoga. Again, I don't do this as much as I should either but I feel great when I do.
And last but not least, Number Ten: JUST DON'T GIVE UP! Everyday is different! Nothing lasts forever but our souls! NOT our anxiety!
I hope I can make at least one person feel less alone with my story.
Take care everyone and have a happy 2014!