Im New i seem like i have lost all other hope. HOWDY

[Agwhorebia]

Well i have anxiety .. or do i? haha i have had it since i was bout 10 and im almost 24... i have been on many meds, and yet i still feel like im a Outkast and numb... i've lost many friends due to it and even a job, my symptoms are pretty much the usual... checking my heart,pulse, asking if i look pale, constantly having somoene reassure me that im not dying... i have lost quite a bit of weight so therefor i think i have a illness.. but blood shows normal.. now doin more exstensive blood work to make sure its not my kidneys or something.. but yes .. how do you people cope and what gets you thru the week?? i sort of feel like im in slow motion watchin my life pass me... :?

[SuperMegaRichard]

Lol me too, well not the loss of friends. My friends are great :)
But yeah, I constantly check my pulse, it has become an obsession. Obviously its all in our head but of course knowing that doesn't help. Right now I am fighting it as hard as I can, one thing I am doing is trying to recognize what is causing it. Thats the hardest part, the way I found my anxiety works is basically my brain shutting doors on emotions it doesn't think its capable of confronting. I guess it thinks its easier that way, but then again its wrong. The only mental disorder I am sure in most people with anxiety is how they deal with stress, I am learning to open up those doors. Like I said the hardest part is to find out what is causing things. What I found is I have good ideas in my head of what can be causing it but of course since I have anxiety my brain will not put emotion that I can recognize behind it, so I am not sure if it is actually the reason or if it just sounds good. Right now I have a journal that I am keeping with me and righting down any negative thought or any feeling and looking at it latter. There is always a reason behind anxiety, always. I am starting to believe if you keep responding with something in fear then you train your brain to believe its justified. Read up on some of the other things people have posted. I have learned a thing or 2. Anxiety is purely physical, the reactions and fear are all physical responses to what you are telling your brain. The only mental part I believe in anxiety is the way your brain deals with stress, most people confront and have feelings of sadness in direct response to stimuli, what i found in myself is I do feel sad but I dont know why because my mental disorder shuts off emotions tied to particular subjects in defense to itself, but it doesn't realize thats harmful in the long run.

The more you give in to irrational fear the more you train your brain to believe its working correctly, thus it will continue to do so.

[indigo]

Thank so much for your reply. Even though I am aware of most of the stuff you are saying, it makes much more sense when you hear it from someone else... I understand I must stop being afraid, but I just do not know how. I have tried many approaches but I seem to be out of new ideas. And it is so exhausting... But you are right and thanks again...

Sorry, I seem to have replied to the wrong post!