Being LGBTQ+ and living with anxiety (anyone else?)

[The Valeyard]

I'm openly bisexual and one thing that's hard for me is being afraid that people I meet will be homophobic and that once they find out, there will be instant rejection and slurs thrown at me. This just makes my anxiety worse as I feel like I always have to be on my guard. People make me so nervous.
Can anyone else here relate?

[artaud]

Can anyone else here relate?

I'm sure such feelings aren't limited to the communities you describe. Political and religious affiliations and ideologies in general are increasingly under fire. If you're comfortable with your decisions, you shouldn't need affirmation from others, though, understandably, it's comforting to find others in similar situations.

There seems to be a diverse community here, literally, not as a watch word for specific diversities to the exclusion of others.

People are people, we all have differences of opinions, I haven't seen any sign here of judgements, just people trying to help people.

Be well.

[Moralfe]

The Valeyard, I know how certain people can be. I am a Christian and in my belief being bisexuals or homosexual is a sin but that does not mean that anyone has the right to treat you any different from anyone else. A person is a person no matter what lifestyle they choose and if you are comfortable with it that is what matters. Just remember that anyone who judges you is not worth being a friend. And you should not let other people's judgments affect you. Hope you feel better.

[Dahila]

Veleyard I am not religious and not judgmental, as old as I am. There is no frigging sin in having different sexual orientation. It is as old as the world is. Our society is small minded and behave like a sheep. Jeez the world that accept people does not exist and will never.... we are as we are.
Do not worry no one here is going to harm you. I believe the higher forces are (admins and mods) controlling scene. :)

[artaud]

The Valeyard, I know how certain people can be. I am a Christian and in my belief being bisexuals or homosexual is a sin but that does not mean that anyone has the right to treat you any different from anyone else. And you should not let other people's judgments affect you. Hope you feel better.

I agree, that's what I danced around about. People are people, people have views, views are subjective.

After surviving an attempt to fire me at work, (As a Union Safety Representative, I was a problem for the established ways of doing things, but fortunately I had supportive Union Leadership at my plant), I saw a supervisor involved in the fiasco. He greeted me and said "remember, that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger". He was so right. Yelling did not exculpate me, but reasoned debate did. I was told by my Union peers that I frustrated the company because I stayed focused, remain composed, and spoke well.

Life would not be fun if each and every one of us said, thought, and did the same things. True diversity encompasses a broad range of human behavior.

[artaud]

Veleyard I am not religious and not judgmental, as old as I am. There is no frigging sin in having different sexual orientation. It is as old as the world is. Our society is small minded and behave like a sheep. Jeez the world that accept people does not exist and will never.... we are as we are.

This was my point, are Christians to be excoriated liberally for their views. We all have different views, we all need to live with this fact, someone that expresses a valid concern of being rejected due to their views should not lead to the rejection of the views other members.

[The Valeyard]

Yeah, people are always going to be diverse and I suppose as long as there's diversity there will be resistence and bigotry.

Er... I appreciate the comment on not letting it bother me, Moralfe, but being told that something I was born with and an integral part of me is a sin isn't exactly what I was looking for here… in fact, that's part of my issue. It still hurts pretty badly when someone tells you your existence is wrong, even if they're nice while doing so...

[artaud]

It still hurts pretty badly when someone tells you your existence is wrong, even if they're nice while doing so...

At no point in history are all people going to embrace all views and lifestyles? If your view of yourself relies on the affirmation by everyone, you're in for continued tension and stress.

[Dweeb]

I was forever judged and guess i still am i'm a young mom had my child wen i was 16 so cuz of this i MUST be a slag.
I am nowhere near a slag ive had 2 relationships and slept with two people! I never planned on having a child young but shes here now and i wouldnt change er for the world!

I ignore all of that now i dnt rele care wat other people think anymore if they dont like me or think what i am or what ive done is wrng well they aint worthy of bein in my life!

People that matter are the ones that stick by u no matter what

[The Valeyard]

At no point in history are all people going to embrace all views and lifestyles? If your view of yourself relies on the affirmation by everyone, you're in for continued tension and stress.

So the fact that people are calling me wrong and this hurts me to the point of depression is my fault? See, this is exactly why I stared this thread. If you can't offer insight that doesn't put me on the edge of tears (as I am now), please just refrain from commenting at all.

[jessed03]

Hey ValeY

Have you ever been victim to some blatant homophobia, or is it an anticipatory fear?

[The Valeyard]

Hey ValeY

Have you ever been victim to some blatant homophobia, or is it an anticipatory fear?

I have been, but nothing physical, thank god.

[Dahila]

Valeyard you need to understand that you are perfect the way you are. We are all different and we should accept the diversity without too much though. It should be our second nature. Try to direct the love you feel into you, please. You are fantastic person , no doubts here:)
BTW according to society special dogmatic society I am the biggest sinner, and I do not care about it:))

[artaud]

If you can't offer insight that doesn't put me on the edge of tears (as I am now), please just refrain from commenting at all.

Unfortunately, the nature of forums doesn't make this a viable option, we are all free to comment on posts. I have not said and will not say anything inimical to you, and replies to a post can serve the needs of the forum community in addition to a particular member. Wish you well in reducing stress, many of us have some frustrating things to cope with, as you appear to as well.

[The Valeyard]

Unfortunately, the nature of forums doesn't make this a viable option, we are all free to comment on posts. I have not said and will not say anything inimical to you […]
I understand what you're getting at, but I did tell you you hurt my feelings. You may feel like this isn't justified, but that doesn't negate my emotions.
And I am pretty sure the nature of forums doesn't force anyone to express hurtful sentiments.
The very comments that you and another user gave to this thread are examples of why I'm afraid of people -- the very point of this thread.
I was given to believe that this was a supportive environment, something essential to reducing stress. You are contradicting yourself by provoking stress in me, not apologizing even after I've pointed it out, and then telling me you wish me well in reducing stress.

[The Valeyard]

Valeyard you need to understand that you are perfect the way you are. We are all different and we should accept the diversity without too much though. It should be our second nature. Try to direct the love you feel into you, please. You are fantastic person , no doubts here:)
BTW according to society special dogmatic society I am the biggest sinner, and I do not care about it:))
Aww, thank you! You are very kind. :)

[artaud]

The very comments that you and another user gave to this thread are examples of why I'm afraid of people -- the very point of this thread.
I was given to believe that this was a supportive environment, something essential to reducing stress. You are contradicting yourself by provoking stress in me, not apologizing even after I've pointed it out, and then telling me you wish me well in reducing stress.

There's a "Report this Post" link available, please use it if you feel wronged. If the moderators feel that I am in error, they can make adjustments as necessary.

I think you are showing your lability, it's understandable that you want acceptance, I agreed from the start, but you're trying to mold people in your image, this I take umbrage with. I've worked with men and women for 20 + years in heavy industry, trust me, life can be cruel and people can be cruel (they and life, obviously, can be good as well). People exploit weaknesses, I have them, you have them, others here have them. Trying to help you realize that life is not going to change to embrace you, but to encourage you to meet life for what it has to offer (good and bad) with confidence in yourself is not something I have any intent to apologize for.

Wish you well, as before, as I would wish any member here.

[trinidiva]

So the fact that people are calling me wrong and this hurts me to the point of depression is my fault? See, this is exactly why I stared this thread. If you can't offer insight that doesn't put me on the edge of tears (as I am now), please just refrain from commenting at all.

I honestly dont see what was said that would be hurtful here. What he said is the truth whether you like it or not. I am a woman of color. I have to accept that there will be people that will not take the time to get to know me or may not like me simple based on my color. It is what it is and I feel like truthfully they are the ones missing out, not me! You cannot change everyone as much as you would like to. You have to learn to love yourself and those who love you for you. Dont worry about everyone else. They dont shape your life or pay your bills. I do feel though, if this pushes you to the point of depression and you just cant handle any rejection at all, speaking to a counselor or therapist might help. Take care and good luck.

[mistiblue]

I read all the posts here and don't see what was offensive. So, Moralfe said they believed homosexuality was a sin, I think what they were saying is.... We ALL have beliefs and views on EVERYTHING. They all differ from each other, this doesn't mean we should treat anyone bad, despite who they are or what they believe.
The point is, living your life worrying about what others think of you only rids your life of joy and wastes borrowed time. I am also a Christian and don't "agree" with the lifestyle, but I would NEVER treat you bad or any different than a straight person... I just don't agree. If a person treats you bad, then keep on walkin you don't need them anyway.
People ARE going to be judgmental and ignorant, whether it's towards homosexuals, Christians, Muslims, blacks, ect....you CAN'T let that fact ruin YOUR life.

[The Valeyard]

I'm not worried about what people think about me. I'm worried about being murdered and verbally and/or physically abused. Which is a pretty real fear.
I shouldn't have to change anyone's mind, because people shouldn't think like that, full stop. It's not an "opinion," it's my life. You should not even think it's an option to have any opinion WHATSOEVER about my sexual orientation. That just isn't right. It's not okay. It isn't about beliefs. I feel like I'm being dehumanized here.
I honestly am gobsmacked at how disrespectful you guys are being. I wanted a safe place to discuss my anxiety in conjunction with my sexual orientation, but I guess that's just too much to ask for.

[mistiblue]

I understand your fear and wasn't trying to disrespect you at all. I was trying to explain to you what others were saying. No one is dehumanizing you by saying they don't agree with your lifestyle. It's your choice and no ones trying to change that. Like I said, everyone should be treated the same regardless. Just because a person doesn't agree with you doesn't mean they hate you. As far as your fear, I'm sorry I can't help you more with that. I hope that you can find some solace here. Sorry for the offense.

[AmberGbenga]

Ok honey, you are taking this all the wrong way.. No one here is tryin to offend to. You openly state your sexuality, your ok with who YOU are. People posting 'dehumanlizing' comments are ok with what THEY believe in. I'm not Christian, I'm not bisexual, although I have been down BOTH paths. What I'm trying to say.. Is EVERYONE has opinions.. Religion, sexual orientation, how to brush teeth, how to make a sandwich.. You have come on here with expectations to be accepted, which you cannot see, YOU HAVE BEEN. Just because we wernt all ACCEPTING of who you love, does not mean we don't accept you as a person. What EVERYONE here is tryin to get at.. You don't seem to have tough skin, someone could look at you funny and you may automatically think they are judging you because of your sexuality.. Everyone has opinions, I'm not Christian.. And I couldn't give a fuck what they think of me.. People everyday get judged, the way you look, walk, talk, anything. We are human we are basically cabled to judge.. Caveman years, looking for a mate, we judged each candidate.. Competition.. You can't change the world, and you can't change the way people think. Accept this. It WON'T CHANGE. But you CAN change how you react to it. So what, someone does not agree.. That is just a negative source. You don't need that. And you say your afraid of abuse and murder, trust me.. Everyone is. You have pin pointed your 'fear' to being unaccepted.. Therefore giving you anxiety for this specific category.. When really I bet if you were straight.. You'd have a fear of being abused or murdered.. Just the same. It's easy.. You can't trust everyone. Chose your battles my friend, be careful who you tell. It will save many debates over what's 'right', dirty looks, etc at the end of the day.. This is YOUR life.. What you do does not affect me or any of us here. It may affect your loved ones.. But anyone else.. Nothing. You can get upset about this, and obsess over it.. When really the only person your hurting is yourself.. Because I garentee.. The people who have 'hurt' your or said mean things.. Literally forgot about it.. Probably the next day. Yet you continue to be hurt..

[trinidiva]

I'm not worried about what people think about me. I'm worried about being murdered and verbally and/or physically abused. Which is a pretty real fear.
I shouldn't have to change anyone's mind, because people shouldn't think like that, full stop. It's not an "opinion," it's my life. You should not even think it's an option to have any opinion WHATSOEVER about my sexual orientation. That just isn't right. It's not okay. It isn't about beliefs. I feel like I'm being dehumanized here.
I honestly am gobsmacked at how disrespectful you guys are being. I wanted a safe place to discuss my anxiety in conjunction with my sexual orientation, but I guess that's just too much to ask for.

I honestly couldn't care less about ones sexual orientation, what we all do behind closed doors is our own business. I definitely do not believe in making anyone feel "less than" or physically scared for any reason. Heres the thing though......YOU dont get the fact that NO ONE is attacking you here. I dont think it really makes sense to even continue this because you aren't ready to accept others opinions, which is the entire purpose of this forum. I think you would be best served speaking to a therapist who can help you deal with your anxiety one on one.

[Dahila]

I agree with Amber, this thread is all about acceptance. How come you do not see it. Everyone here is accepting and very tolerant. What do u expect from us? It is unclear to me now... Everyone here is trying to explain that we do not judge, we accept and we are trying to help....

[Dahila]

I completely agree with ^^^

[The Valeyard]

I'm pretty disappointed -- sorry, guys. The heterosexism here is quite blatant. Maybe one has to be queer to understand why this behaviour is inappropriate. I wish this had gone another way.

[Dahila]

What do you exactly expect from us?

[The Valeyard]

I posted a fear on an anxiety forum and then people went ahead and basically underlined my fear by their heterosexist comments. People are just exacerbating my issue. I don't understand how you can't understand that. I wanted support and sympathy, not people telling me exactly what perpetuates my problem: Calling my sexuality a choice repeatedly, telling me I'm sinning, acting like they have the right to have an opinion on my sexuality. The reasons why I made this thread in the first place. It's very ironic, actually.

[jessed03]

I grew up in a very dangerous neighbourhood. I was attacked a few times quite badly, the threat of attack always lingered too. That stress can accumulate quite badly, until you can end up becoming a bit of a wreck. Amygdala function is to react to danger, and if you perceive constant danger, it's gonna be incredibly sensitive, and make you feel rather ill and lifeless.

Some anxiety is real. Anxiety is a life saving reaction, for some it gets messed up, and they fear heart problems despite 119 EKGs and stress tests, but other types of anxiety have a very legitimate cause. Fear of homophobia is obviously a legitimate cause, as long as it's a caution, rather than a paranoia. If you have any homophobic paranoia, then it's rather a different matter.

Something's that helped me, and may help you:

- Keep stress levels low. Meditate, relax daily. However you want.. just do it, it's very important. Accumulated stress will kill more people this year than cigarettes. You have an issue that will exacerbate stress levels if left alone. Talk to somebody if that helps. Mindfulness in plain English is a good book to learn meditation.

- Stay in the present. Not only will alertness to potential threats increase, but you'll have less overall tension. Of course we all want the world to be different. It's easy to remember times of attack or persecution and dwell on them and assume that they'll happen again next time, that's not always the case, and this won't help. React in the moment, rather than waste energy anticipating.
Live each hour a new. Stay refreshed. Stay relatively tension free. Don't let hate grind your soul down. The past is gone once you're out of the moment. Let it go. Things won't go your way, that's ok, put them behind you quickly. Feel hurt, but then move on, your body is made to keep on trucking. The Power Of Now - Eckart Tolle is a helpful book.

- Acceptance. Learn about the disgusting nature of humans. And I mean really learn it. Learn about their animal instincts. Learn about their need to attack things. Learn about their aggressive tendencies, and desire to persecute. This won't help much, but you'll understand things better. You'll take less offense to things, and just accept humanities flaws. It isn't about you. It's never been about you, and never will be. It's about a persons own fear and desire to control. Look at religion. That's all religion was built upon. Do as I say, and fear the word of god... What more could prove my comment?
This is built into humans through evolution. Religion is just a way to express it. If we didn't have religion it would be something else. We are ugly creates at times. Despite what religion and the bible tell you, we are just mammals... Only we build better things.
The selfish gene - Dawkins or any zen book will help you here.

- Don't take any offence. Ever. Cos you don't have to. Look at this thread buddy. I'm on your side, but you're desperately looking for acceptance, and even validation. You won't find that. Most straight people don't even find it. Offence is never given, only ever taken. If you feel offended by something, somewhere along the line you decided to accept that offence, perhaps because you haven't yet made peace with yourself and what you're about.

A Buddhist monk was being shouted at, sworn at, offended and insulted by a local man. He just stood there unmoved. The man left after getting no response, and one of the local villagers asked him; why didn't you stand up for yourself.. The monk replied 'If you give me a gift... But I choose not to accept it, to whom does the gift still belong?'...
Anger, hate, jealousy, insecurity... Those things may get thrown at you. Whatever, don't accept them. You don't have to take them inside. Let them go.
If physical abuse or harassment takes place, of course that's a police matter.

- Be proactive. Anxiety is about fear. It's also about apprension. Powerlessness is a huge theme when it comes to anxiety. I can tell you have a lot. You wish to change the world, but that won't happen. But, you can combat your fears with some action, to alleviate them a little. Join a martial arts group. Carry Mace if you wanna. Lift weights. Campaign for LGBTG rights. If you aren't already. It won't rid you of anxiety, but action is anxieties mortal enemy.

- Don't sit and think. Keep very busy. Apocalypse can happen in your mind, you can create hell in there. You can even create problems where there may not be any.

- Be around your own kind. I don't necessarily mean gay/bi people here, but liberal people in general. Some places will be more accepting of your lifestyle. Try to be there. Some people will be more tolerant of you. Try to be with them. There is safety in numbers. That's another evolutionary trait. You are scared when you feel alone. I assume very strongly that is why you are here, you feel slightly alone perhaps. That's ok, I understand totally. I could never have a happy life in my crime ridden area.

- Try and find the good. Seeing the bad, and the ugly all the time is horrible. Try and surround yourself with a little of the good, a little of the positive, a little love. It's great for the soul. Value that over petty battles. Animals offer this abundance. They are zen masters. They don't care if you're black, pink, gay, asexual or support Manchester United football club.

Edit: I'm not gay btw, nor bisexual, so if I've missed a few things off, I apologize. I just saw a lot of similarities between your fear of violence and persecution and mine, mine was slightly more racially based though.

[Dahila]

Valey yard, Jessed summed it pretty good.
Jessed I am honored to read your posts.
Anyway, you whine a lot valey and it is not good. Be a man or woman, or whatever you want but stop trying to change us. We are ok very tolerant and accepting (maybe be my ancient age speaking) I went through this thread at least three times and I could not find anything insulting.
Is this what you are looking for in this forum..? You made me wonder, it seems like you playing with our emotions, it is not good....Stop whining and start to behave like most of us.
You got me upset with repeating the same words all over again, even my 7 years old granddaughter does not do this. I have enough of this nonsense, and I am not posting her again. Do you feel insulted? Look on the bottom is report sign....be my guest

[The Valeyard]

I grew up in a very dangerous neighbourhood. I was attacked a few times quite badly, the threat of attack always lingered too. That stress can accumulate quite badly, until you can end up becoming a bit of a wreck. Amygdala function is to react to danger, and if you perceive constant danger, it's gonna be incredibly sensitive, and make you feel rather ill and lifeless.

Some anxiety is real. Anxiety is a life saving reaction, for some it gets messed up, and they fear heart problems despite 119 EKGs and stress tests, but other types of anxiety have a very legitimate cause. Fear of homophobia is obviously a legitimate cause, as long as it's a caution, rather than a paranoia. If you have any homophobic paranoia, then it's rather a different matter.

Something's that helped me, and may help you:

- Keep stress levels low. Meditate, relax daily. However you want.. just do it, it's very important. Accumulated stress will kill more people this year than cigarettes. You have an issue that will exacerbate stress levels if left alone. Talk to somebody if that helps. Mindfulness in plain English is a good book to learn meditation.

- Stay in the present. Not only will alertness to potential threats increase, but you'll have less overall tension. Of course we all want the world to be different. It's easy to remember times of attack or persecution and dwell on them and assume that they'll happen again next time, that's not always the case, and this won't help.
Live each hour a new. Stay refreshed. Stay relatively tension free. Don't let hate grind your soul down. The last is gone once you're out of the moment. Let it go. The Power Of Now - Eckart Tolle is a helpful book.

- Acceptance. Learn about the disgusting nature of humans. And I mean really learn it. Learn about their animal instincts. Learn about their need to attack things. Learn about their aggressive tendencies, and desire to persecute. This won't help much, but you'll understand things better. You'll take less offense to things, and just accept humanities flaws. It isn't about you. It's never been about you, and never will be. It's about a persons own fear and desire to control. Look at religion. That's all religion was built upon. Do as I say, and fear the word of god... What more could prove my comment?
This is built into humans through evolution. Religion is just a way to express it. If we didn't have religion it would be something else. We are ugly creates at times. Despite what religion and the bible tell you, we are just mammals... Only we build better things.
The selfish gene - Dawkins or any zen book will help you here.

- Don't take any offence. Ever. Cos you don't have to. Look at this thread buddy. I'm on your side, but you're desperately looking for acceptance, and even validation. You won't find that. Most straight people don't even find it. Offence is never given, only ever taken. If you feel offended by something, somewhere along the line you decided to accept that offence, perhaps because you haven't yet made peace with yourself and what you're about.

A Buddhist monk was being shouted at, sworn at, offended and insulted by a local man. He just stood there unmoved. The man left after getting no response, and one of the local villagers asked him; why didn't you stand up for yourself.. The monk replied 'If you give me a gift... But I choose not to accept it, to whom does the gift still belong?'...
Anger, hate, jealousy, insecurity... Those things may get thrown at you. Whatever, don't accept them. You don't have to take them inside. Let them go.
If physical abuse or harassment takes place, of course that's a police matter.

- Be proactive. Anxiety is about fear. It's also about apprension. Powerlessness is a huge theme when it comes to anxiety. I can tell you have a lot. You wish to change the world, but that won't happen. But, you can combat your fears with some action, to alleviate them a little. Join a martial arts group. Carry Mace if you wanna. Lift weights. Campaign for LGBTG rights. If you aren't already. It won't rid you of anxiety, but action is anxieties mortal enemy.

- Don't sit and think. Keep very busy. Apocalypse can happen in your mind, you can create hell in there. You can even create problems where there may not be any.

- Be around your own kind. I don't necessarily mean gay/bi people here, but liberal people in general. Some places will be more accepting of your lifestyle. Try to be there. Some people will be more tolerant of you. Try to be with them. There is safety in numbers. That's another evolutionary trait. I could never have a happy life in my crime ridden area.

- Try and find the good. Seeing the bad, and the ugly all the time is horrible. Try and surround yourself with a little of the good, a little of the positive, a little love. It's great for the soul. Value that over petty battles.

Edit: I'm not gay btw, nor bisexual, so if I've missed a few things off, I apologize. I just saw a lot of similarities between your fear of violence and persecution and mine, mine was slightly more racially based though.

This is a beautiful post, thank you very much.
I also grew up in hard circumstances, and I've survived a very abusive father. I've been in shelters, shelters, and more shelters. Low income housing, single mom with three jobs, an older brother that got on drugs early on. Swat teams around, kidnappings, friends dying, suicide. It's been hard.
I do read Thich Nhat Hanh and I practice meditation and yoga already. Mindfulness is a huge help. Anyway, thank you.

Dahila -- I see no point in furthering this discussion.

[AmberGbenga]

Mate, you are so close minded. Just because we didnt state ways to handle it, didnt shed a tear for you, your acting like WE are the bad guys. Here is the thing. Your being manipulative. And self centered. Open your fucking eyes. NO ONE meant offense, I'm getting cranky now. You will not survive in this world with that attitude. Get a grip.

[Dahila]

Amber hell you are awesome, this is what I wanted to say ;))))

[AmberGbenga]

Oh and not to mention.. WE ALL SUFFER WITH Anxiety.. Oh yours is more extreme? You want us to feel sorry for you? You want sympathy.. How about treating people with respect. No one here disrespected you until you disrespected them and their beliefs.. No one came at you with a sword or holy water.. No one called you names of said hurtful comments. No everyone can see this.. Except you. Does that not say something? You had a bad up bringing, join the club. You suffer with anxiety, join the club. We DON'T GIVE A FUCK what colour your skin is, who you fuck, what you believe in.. Treat us with respect and you will get the same I'm return. EVERYONE here is down to earth lovely ACCEPTING people.. It is YOUR lose to let this become what it has.. Not ours. Wish you the best, and maybe come back with an open mind aye

[AmberGbenga]

Dahila, nothing will be sugar coated from this mouth. This person needs to learn or they will live a VERY unhappy life.. No one deserves that. I'd rather be the bitch who said it how it is in hope that it sheds a light.. Hopefully help in the long term.. I don't care if they hate me, join the list. But if they take this with them.. That itself is enough to know I actually did them a favor.

[The Valeyard]

Wow. What did I do to you guys? All I said was that you're being heterosexist as all get out. And you are.
I'm not green to the world. I think I can take things. My father literally attempted to murder me over and over.
All I'm asking for is respect. All I wanted was to air my fears and maybe find other queer people with anxiety issues here.
Wow.

[jessed03]

It sounds like the meditation/yogic philosophy has done you some good! You've had some struggles! Less has taken many a man down! Compliments on your strength, seriously. I've lived a similar life, only without sexuality worries, and can only say for a long time IT KICKED MY ASS!!

It's fair that you want to air your fears. I hope this hasn't made you feel like you can't. I've actually not seen too many gay people on here, expressing fears regarding sexuality, which is quite weird, seeing as there are still unfortunately many parts of the world, and families too, who pass judgement on any one of a different persuasion.

I know virtually all of the people in this thread almost personally now, and I must say I think their intention was only tough love, rather than to cause you indignity. Tough love isn't always called for/appreciated though. I get that. I've had somebody message me wondering why you got upset, so I'm sure any offence caused wasn't deliberate. Unfortunately it is the truth - many people have different styles and beliefs, and sometimes they clash.

Tough love seemed to collide with somebody who needed a little 'affection'... Only word I can think of?

Just wanted to say that I get your struggle, and have a lot of respect for you actually. To be yourself in a world that tries to stop you takes a lot of guts, especially given your upbringing.

[backdoc]

Hi Valeard, looks to me that you made your proposition in order to start a discussion that frankly does not belong here.............its always interesting to me that the only unprotected group remaining are the Christians( not allowed to have an opinion ) .....

[jessed03]

Hi Valeard, looks to me that you made your proposition in order to start a discussion that frankly does not belong here.............its always interesting to me that the only unprotected group remaining are the Christians( not allowed to have an opinion ) .....

I don't get why religion is even mentioned here?

He asked if there are any other LGBTG suffering from social anxieties... That's all. He wasn't asking for opinions on his lifestyle. It's an anxiety problem like any other.

[The Valeyard]

I'm not talking about religion. Please just stop. How did this not belong here?? It's anxiety.

[AmberGbenga]

Jesus Christ.. You know what.. You just don't get it. I don't think I could be any more clear. So you stay over there and me and dahila will be over here farting rainbows on the fun side of the island

[AmberGbenga]

Jesse James, yes this person has issues. If you read what everyone is saying basically religion came about as an opinion.. Meaning everyone has opinions.. It was an example.. Literally I don't see anyone .. Except me. Being hurtful towards him.. Really we are just explaining the world. I didn't take sides.. Until this person started disrespecting.. Then wondering why they didnt get respect back.. Really this could have all been avoided. Agree to disagree.. Everyone is happy rising unicorns .. Jesus fucking dick.. I just don't understand how people created constructive critisism for disrespect. We accepted.. All of us did. Even the Christians.. Like fuck.

[Dahila]

Jesus Christ.. You know what.. You just don't get it. I don't think I could be any more clear. So you stay over there and me and dahila will be over here farting rainbows on the fun side of the island
heheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sorry I am speechless for ones
farting rainbows is something I love :)

[The Valeyard]

You know what? I don't care anymore. You guys, except the lovely Jesse, are all ignorant homophobes. I just showed like 14 friends this entire thread and they all were as surprised as I was that such horrible, hurtful people could be on an anxiety forum. You are awful, terrible people. I hope to god that none of you know any actual LGBT people in real life, because I would pity the hell out of them.
You've made me so upset that my anxiety has gone through the roof and my PTSD has been triggered.

Obviously finding an anxiety forum and expecting support and love is not feasible.
I'll delete my account in a bit. This is just way too toxic for me.

You are all vehement, uninformed, under-educated bullies and you should be ashamed. Call me over sensitive or whatever. I don't care. You're just terrible, terrible people. And the worst thing is you don't even UNDERSTAND what you've done wrong. That's really sad. I suggest you try to educate yourselves. Because this thread has seriously marred my hope in humanity.
Happy New Year.

[AmberGbenga]

Ahh.. Well whatever you think mate. We are all the bad guys here. I feel sorry for you, I really do. Best of luck in the big bad world. Your gonna need it with your attitude.

[AmberGbenga]

Oh and FYI, I know at least 20 LGBT people.. All of which I'm EXTREMLY close to. And actually love me to death. You don't know shit about me, or anyone else here. We treat each person as individual. Regardless of the persons traits.. You on the other hand think everyone is out to get you. That's right all of us who have commented are just terrible horrible people, fck we should all be ashamed.. Ok now we can feel sorry for ourselves and treat people like shit. Now the real fun starts.

[janey]

You know what? I don't care anymore. You guys, except the lovely Jesse, are all ignorant homophobes. I just showed like 14 friends this entire thread and they all were as surprised as I was that such horrible, hurtful people could be on an anxiety forum. You are awful, terrible people. I hope to god that none of you know any actual LGBT people in real life, because I would pity the hell out of them.
You've made me so upset that my anxiety has gone through the roof and my PTSD has been triggered.

Obviously finding an anxiety forum and expecting support and love is not feasible.
I'll delete my account in a bit. This is just way too toxic for me.

You are all vehement, uninformed, under-educated bullies and you should be ashamed. Call me over sensitive or whatever. I don't care. You're just terrible, terrible people. And the worst thing is you don't even UNDERSTAND what you've done wrong. That's really sad. I suggest you try to educate yourselves. Because this thread has seriously marred my hope in humanity.
Happy New Year.

Wowwwwwww. You have emotional issues for sure. Your last post is more disrespectful than everyone else combined. No one did anything wrong, you just ARE hypersensitive. No one even said anything hateful toward you being bi. A lot of people are bisexual. Big whoop. I think you almost like to be a victim because you sure as hell find every reason to be one. Delusional.

[AmberGbenga]

Amen janeyyy!!!!

[mistiblue]

Vale- I can tell you that in NO WAY was I trying to hurt or disrespect you. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to sugar coat things for you if I don't agree. That's just life. Your fears are real and rational, like I said earlier, I can't relate to your specific fear. I can tell you to see a therapist. I think that would be very beneficial for your anxiety. Personally I think your fears and issues go much deeper, so therapy would be the best option for you. Sorry you feel the way you do.

[The Valeyard]

Vale- I can tell you that in NO WAY was I trying to hurt or disrespect you. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to sugar coat things for you if I don't agree. That's just life. Your fears are real and rational, like I said earlier, I can't relate to your specific fear. I can tell you to see a therapist. I think that would be very beneficial for your anxiety. Personally I think your fears and issues go much deeper, so therapy would be the best option for you. Sorry you feel the way you do.

Ugggh, I told myself I wouldn't reply again but OCD, damn it.

I do see a therapist. I have been seeing a therapist since I was 4 years old because of my abuse. I'm 21 now.

[mistiblue]

Oh okay. I'm sorry you had to endure abuse growing up. I also dealt with my share of abuse... Physical and sexual. It's no fun to deal with. I actually just recently have "come to terms" with what happened to me. My therapist believes that's why my anxiety crept up it's ugly head, because I was suppressing my emotions for so long.
Continue to go....anxiety is all about taking back control. It's not easy, but it CAN be done. The mind is a powerful thing.

[janey]

Being bi isn't even a big deal. Everyone 'brags' about being bisexual. In all honesty, I think mostly everyone can have bisexual tendencies at some point.
I don't think your problem is the people around you. Your problem is that you think everyone is out to get you. You over-react severely and see things either black or white.
You're calling people awful homophobes and nothing was said to grant that insult AT ALL. You seem pretty scared and self-conscious about being bisexual. You should perhaps learn to accept yourself before incriminating everyone around you nonsensically. It's like you're calling everyone a witch...Oh, you have a poppet! You must be a witch!

I think you're more discriminatory than anyone else here, honestly. You're afraid that people are going to judge you for being bisexual, but you're judging everyone else for not being bisexual or not agreeing with you in every way, shape or form.

[Dahila]

I wonder, should I report his last post, I find it very offensive....What a waste of our time...
Amber let it go.... ignorants are everywhere.....

[AmberGbenga]

As I've said, everyone deserves happiness. All I care about is this person getting better. That's it. I tryed being sympathetic, caring and understanding. That didnt work so I tryed a different approach. Which also didnt work. This person is a lost cause until they sort their own shit out. No skin off my nose. This is their demon to fight. No one can help them until they are opened minded and willing to help themselves.