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View Full Version : New here, but not new to anxiety, just looking to share and get some feedback



jhays79
12-27-2013, 03:02 PM
Hello all! I guess I'll start with a introduction. I'm a 35 year old male, I've had anxiety issues for as long as I can remember. A few years ago my wife got diagnosed with breast cancer, and that sent my anxiety into overdrive, as could be expected. She had her lump removed, some chemotherapy, and our Dr. has said he thinks she will be fine (knock on wood) This was all three years ago. In between though, she has to get checkups every 3 months, so my anxiety and worry about her comes screaming back during that time period. When she gets the all clear, I calm down for a while, until the next checkup comes around. It's tough to go through, but I know they're just keeping a close on eye on her. Anyway, since this all happened I've been seeing a therapist to try to relieve some of my anxiety and get past this scary period of my life that I can't seem to let go of. I'm also taking Zoloft, and more recently small amount of Klonopin.

Recently though, right before Thanksgiving, I had helped my in-laws move a very heavy piece of furniture. A few days later I started to get it into my head that I gave myself a hernia. I couldn't stop thinking about it and the pain in my abdomen started to get worse each day. This also happened to coincide with one of my wife's check-ups, and it was 3 years prior almost to the week that she got diagnosed. I'm not sure if this is coincidence or not. Anyway, the week after Thanksgiving, after feeling a lot of abdominal discomfort, I decided to go to my Dr and get checked out, fearing he would find a hernia and I would need surgery. I told him everything, and he checked me for a hernia, finding nothing wrong. So I go home and my pain is still no better a couple days later. I tell my wife I know I have a hernia, he must of missed it. So I schedule another appointment to go back to the Dr. I explain to him the pain is still there, so he checks me again, and again he finds nothing. He says I should get a CAT scan to see what's going on. Immediately I get panicky. I was able to schedule a CAT Scan the same day, so I go to the radiology place, the entire time I'm freaking out. I was scared to death they were going to find stomach cancer or pancreatic cancer. While getting the CAT scan I nearly pass out from the panic. Thankfully my Dr had put in a stat order so I wouldn't have to wait that long for the results. After the test I went back to my doctor where the results had just been faxed over. Everything looked fine. I was relieved but still frustrated because I didn't know what was wrong with me. The next day I get up and I start to realize how tense my stomach muscles were. I had unknowingly been straining my ab muscles pretty much every waking hour. That day I made a conscious effort to try and relax my muscles and the pain in my abdomen subsided. The next day however, I had been on my feet all day, and my legs were really achy, and later that evening I noticed my feet were a bit tingling and my hands where prickly. I began obsessing about these sensations, getting myself worked up and downright panicky that something was seriously wrong with me. One day I went from thinking I might have Lyme disease, and I felt like the side of my face was going numb. All day I was wiggling my mouth around or touching my cheek to see if I could feel it. I finally realized my face wasn't going numb. I made the mistake of googling symptoms and scaring myself more. I was scared I had leukemia, or was getting MS. I never felt these leg aches or tingling sensations before, it was right after my abdominal pain went away and I felt relief from the CAT scan results. I'm thinking I just moved on to the next thing to be anxious about. Last week I finally went to another MD that specializes in psychology and anxiety drugs. I explained everything to him, my fear of having MS and other diseases, these sensations I get, and the anxiety and scary thoughts I've been having about my health. He quickly checked my reflexes and eyes to see if I really did have any signs of MS, and he assured me he didn't think i did. He put me on a mild dose of Klonopin twice a day to help with the anxiety. I felt relieved after I left his office, but within a day or two later I start doubting him, thinking he might have missed something. My legs shoulders and arms are achy and I feel jittery in the mornings. I try to tell myself it's from weeks of tensing up my muscles, but I just can't wrap my head around it. I still get fears that I have some bad disease the doctors have missed. I still catch myself tensed up, my shoulders all up and tight, and everyday my thoughts are very consumed about how my body feels. Sorry for the long winded intro, but i'm just trying to assure myself that I'm not alone. Thanks for reading

Enduronman
12-27-2013, 04:54 PM
Welcome JHays!

EMan...:)

jhays79
12-28-2013, 06:21 AM
Thanks for the kind words!

Enduronman
12-28-2013, 06:55 AM
I'll get a little more in depth after I get today's tasks done, but generally speaking, you're a hypochondriac?..Is that correct?

What treatment do you have presently?..Meds? Therapy?.. Just curious...

Also, if you could split some of your future post up into paragraphs would be greatly helpful to me and others too. It's hard to get a "feel" for what's really going on when it's one giant span of words, and I'm friggin old too so my vision sucks.. LOL!

Great to have a new member here..

EMan..:)

jhays79
12-28-2013, 08:35 AM
I'll get a little more in depth after I get today's tasks done, but generally speaking, you're a hypochondriac?..Is that correct?

What treatment do you have presently?..Meds? Therapy?.. Just curious...

Also, if you could split some of your future post up into paragraphs would be greatly helpful to me and others too. It's hard to get a "feel" for what's really going on when it's one giant span of words, and I'm friggin old too so my vision sucks.. LOL!

Great to have a new member here..

EMan..:)


Thanks for the reply. Yes, I'm definitely showing signs of hypochondria. I never had any worry for my own health up until a month ago. Previously all of my worry was focused on my wife's health. My therapist thinks something switched in my brain to start focusing on my own health obsessively, perhaps to take the focus off my wife.

My biggest hurdle is not believing my physical symptons are caused by anxiety. I don't think I'll ever be able to relax until Im able to truly believe it.

Robert Tressell
12-28-2013, 12:37 PM
Thanks for the reply. Yes, I'm definitely showing signs of hypochondria. I never had any worry for my own health up until a month ago. Previously all of my worry was focused on my wife's health. My therapist thinks something switched in my brain to start focusing on my own health obsessively, perhaps to take the focus off my wife.

My biggest hurdle is not believing my physical symptons are caused by anxiety. I don't think I'll ever be able to relax until Im able to truly believe it.

I had a spontaneous collapsed lung a few years back which scared the b'jesus out of me as the symptoms are identical to heart attack. After a swift recovery but a hellish time in hospital ( the guy in the bed next to me actually died ) I suffered my first real panic attack when I had a twinge in my chest soon after. It was nothing but very frightening. Then early last year a routine check with my GP revealed high blood pressure. Well for months after I was convinced each day, each pain was terminal. I had ECG's, blood tests, all fine.
Then it dawned on me after 26 years of GP visits, anxiety was the source of all my issues. IBS, reflux, Asthma, shaky hands, blurred vision, migraines etc.
I was always an anxious child and suffered with stress induced asthma. My parents spoke often of how "highly strung" I was.
The point i'm trying to make is that the mind really can play hellish tricks on the body, it's taken me a long time to accept this and seek help.
The really cruel thing about anxiety however is that even now after this epiphany re anxiety being the cause I approach treatments with suspicion and extreme caution!
Good luck with your situation!

Enduronman
12-28-2013, 12:53 PM
*I approach treatments with suspicion and extreme caution!*

Hey Robert!

Could you help me to understand that line ^^^^^^ there abit please??..26 yrs of this???.....hmmmmm

Nice to meet you friend.

E-Man...:)

Robert Tressell
12-28-2013, 01:01 PM
Hey Robert!

Could you help me to understand that line ^^^^^^ there abit please??..26 yrs of this???.....hmmmmm

Nice to meet you friend.

E-Man...:)

hey E man, it's great to talk my friend

I'm scared to take SSRI's. I'm not scared of any other med, and I've had a few! I'm scared of feeling sleepy in my car on my way to work appointments ( I drive 35000 miles a year! ), i'm scared of not being able to make love to my beautiful wife, i'm scared of feeling numb, i'm scared of insomnia, heart issues with Celexa etc....get the picture? Pathetic, ain't it?

I'm almost at the "what the hell" point though....almost. I will be taking SSRIs by end January, I just know it! I'm at the 5HTP stage currently, but it is just zonking me out.

I've had enough. Time to get better!

Enduronman
12-28-2013, 01:46 PM
Yes, our brother in the Anxiety War, it's time.

Maybe ask for some (fluoxetine) first..then take it from there...

To better health bruh! :)

Robert Tressell
12-28-2013, 02:00 PM
Yes, our brother in the Anxiety War, it's time.

Maybe ask for some (fluoxetine) first..then take it from there...

To better health bruh! :)

Amen to that!

Enduronman
12-28-2013, 02:10 PM
Yes friend, go check out the Dwebbers posts!!! She just started Prozac a week er so ago...she went from OMG to taking charge, just like that....Impressive!! Amen...:)

Dweeb
12-28-2013, 02:23 PM
Takin prozac as changed my life dramatically

I was an hyperchondriac to the point i was always at the hospital everyday with one thing or anotha believing thats it ive got a killer disease and i aint going to see my daughter grow up!

Now i'm on the road to recovery i'm taking fluoextine :D

Accept anxiety for just that anxiety and u'll see ow all the aches and pains finally go away.

If your scared of falling asleep at the wheel take the tablet at bedtime :)

Enduronman
12-28-2013, 02:29 PM
Thank you Debbie, very, very much...your energy is spreading around here quickly....:)

Dweeb
12-28-2013, 02:31 PM
Your welcome :)

jhays79
12-28-2013, 03:29 PM
Another one of my issues is I'm scared to let my guard down and accept that it's anxiety making my body feel this way because I'm afraid the sensations won't go away and I have real disease. It's basically like I'm entrapping myself.

Dweeb
12-28-2013, 03:55 PM
I was the same i was scared of allowing myself to overcome anxiety as i thought (irrationally well i can see that now) that meant i'd be accepting any disease i might have or even death.

Just all another part of anxiety irrational thinking!

Enduronman
12-28-2013, 03:56 PM
That's why you've gotta find the courage to "reach out" of the box you've trapped yourself inside of friend...^^^ did it, stepped out...you can too.

EMan..

Dweeb
12-28-2013, 03:59 PM
Fear the anxiety, accept the anxiety, embrace the anxiety and then beat the anxiety :D

Saida4
12-28-2013, 04:13 PM
i kinda get you,my mom has breast cancer too..it was hectic.going to different hospitals,chemotherapy tc.she had to travel alot.i used to also imagine that maybe i have a new disease even that the doctors couldnt identify.welcome:)hope u find friends here

jhays79
12-28-2013, 06:27 PM
Yep, I always feel relieved for a day or two after having the dr tell me it's anxiety, but then the fear comes back and I doubt their judgement.