To scared to Google!

[majored]

At the start of this year i wanted to sort out my health issues as i suffer quite bad with health anxiety. Ive lost count of what tests ive had done and at one point i was at the doctors about every 2 weeks. I didnt go because i liked it or because i wanted tests. I would sit at home and torture myself with worry and i think the doctor was a bit concerned and would ask me to come back every couple of weeks as i was losing the plot a little. and Ive had CBT but have had no medication for my health or my mind. Well the year is nearly over and now im no better off now as i was before. Yes ive had tests and no what i havnt got wrong with me but i still dont know what i do have wrong with me. Im trying to control it but i can do it. I know it sounds silly stupid but i have a white lump come up on my tonsils, its not sore but i sometimes can feel it when i swallow. I dont have a sore throat or a cough but i know its there and it hasnt changed the last 3 days. I really want to know what it could be but i know if i google i will wish i hadnt.....if you know what i mean!
I need to know if i should be worried about it or its nothing but im too scared to google it. Ive promised my OH i wont google but the worry is also giving my anxiety. Its smaller than a pea and looks a bit like a cyst. I did have it once before about 6 months ago and i showed the doctor and they said they didnt know what it was but to just keep an eye on it.

At times i just can believe that i keep having these issues with my health and a lot of you will think it nothing and i know there are worse things out there. I do find just a little thing can start me off worrying and everything just builds up. I cant stop myself from thinking about it as i think it could be something bad.

Anyway enough of that .....i would like to wish you all a merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year ! Take care

[MiST]

Lumps and bumps on your body, simple answer is get down the doctor ASAP.

Cancer sucks, trust me..

[SamC]

First off your thread should be to SMART to google not to SCARED to google, please just stay away from google the only thing it gives anxiety sufferers is more symptoms and more worry , so good on you for staying off it :D

It could just be something like tonsil stones (theres a medical name but cant remember it lol) if you have had or have any sinus problems or a cold recently it can come from that its basically just dead skin cells and other lovely stuff that can get lodged on your tonsil, not dangerous and washes down eventually.

I would keep an eye on it but not obsessively try to set yourself 1 time a day just to check it and stick with that, if you start to get pain or if more appear or it doesnt go away in the next few days then check with your doc but it will more than likely just wash down itself :D

Try to keep your mind busy and enjoy the holidays as is nearly always the case with anxiety suffers its prob nothing but keep an eye just ONE time a day no more and if still there in a few days or you get any pain with it then check with the doctor or pharmacist, worst case scenario you might get some antibiotics so no panic :D

Merry xmas and hope that helps a little

[majored]

Thanks for your reply i was really hoping it was nothing bad .... however im not coping that well. As Mist stated lumps and bumps and all that.

SamC, ive read about stones before where as mine seems to be inside the tonsil not sitting on top of it. I noticed it 3 days ago but could of had it longer but im more aware of it and now notice it when i swallow where as before i saw it i was fine. So there may be a little anxiety there kicking in. Im alittle to scared to look at it in case its grown. Now its christmas and doctors are not open however i dont think i need to be rushing to hospital
I know ive had it before about 6 months ago and i think it was there about a week or so, then just got smaller and went. I wish i could just have an issue and not think the worst situation.

Many thanks

[MiST]

Considering the time of year and the function of the tonsils, it's likely you have a slight bacteria build up. Honestly, just keep an eye on it and if it is still there and causing you concern in two weeks go and see the doctor and have him or her look at it. They will be able to tell you straight away if it's anything.

Try not to worry..:D

[SamC]

Statiscally lumps and bumps are usually nothing, but if it persists get it checked out but usually there would be a lot of pain and swelling if it was anything serious, obviously wait til after the holidays unless you get any more discomfort but most likely it will wash down itself even it could even be the start of tonsilitis but again you would more than likely have a sore throat and that clears up itself on most occasions or with antibiotics, so drink lots of water over the holidays, gargle with some salt water and also drink hot water with lemon (lemons have antibacterial qualities as well as salt) and if its still there after xmas check with your doc.

Try to think back how many times you have had something wrong and how many times did you think it was the worst case scenario then think how many times was it the worst case scenario? prob never im guessing, its good to keep a diary of these things coz looking back helps but try not to overthink it coz you can start creating symptoms that are not there :D

[Lee Grant Irons]

Hi majored,

I agree with SamC that it could be tonsil stones. Two of my kids had it and had their tonsils removed. It is benign, though it can be uncomfortable and give you bad breath.

I will be online over Christmas, if you need anyone to talk to.

Lee

[kris123]

Why don't you try a salt water gargle for a couple of days? Say, twice a day and see if it clears up. Try not fear the worst. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.

[Andyw88]

i alway have lumps and bumps in my mouth on my tonsils gums etc, saltwater does the trick for me, works wonders

[majored]

Hi thank you all for your messages. Ive gone to have a look at it as its got the better of me. It looks like its slightly sticking out more but its not any bigger size wise. I will try and book an appointment on line to see a doctor. Ive just noticed i put on the other message it was 6 months ago but that was a typo error it should read 16 months ago. The only thing that makes me feel slightly better the fact it went away . However i just cant cope .....

I have worried about things in the past and thought the worse but it doesnt make me feel any better now. I know i dont need to run to the hospital im not bleeding nor in pain but i just cant cope with another thing to add to my list. I just dont know what to do with myself. Its just been one thing after another, it just keeps happening its never ending.

Why me ?

[SamC]

Why me?? lol now theres a question im sure we have all asked ourselves a million times lol

Telling you the truth, now that i can look back i get it, its one thing after another because we make it that way.

All that worrying has a stress on your body, think your body is in a constant state of panic, your heart rates up, blood pressures up, adrenaline levels up, your whole body is on high alert pretty much all the time coupled with prob not sleeping good too ... your body and mind are exhausted all the time, so your body is more susceptible to catching bugs and other illness due to the fact its run down and on top of that, if you hear about any illness going around and see the symptoms its almost guaranteed you will get the symptoms in a few days or at least your mind tells you you have .. geez im exhausted just reading this as i write our poor bodies lol anyhoo thats why making sure you get plenty of and a good sleep is so important when trying to deal with anxiety coz your body and mind are pretty much knackered.

So relaxation, meds to take the edge of the worry, plenty of sleep and plenty of things to keep your mind active on anything other than changes in your body and you will see a difference in how you are feeling :D

[majored]

Why me?? lol now theres a question im sure we have all asked ourselves a million times lol

Telling you the truth, now that i can look back i get it, its one thing after another because we make it that way.

All that worrying has a stress on your body, think your body is in a constant state of panic, your heart rates up, blood pressures up, adrenaline levels up, your whole body is on high alert pretty much all the time coupled with prob not sleeping good too ... your body and mind are exhausted all the time, so your body is more susceptible to catching bugs and other illness due to the fact its run down and on top of that, if you hear about any illness going around and see the symptoms its almost guaranteed you will get the symptoms in a few days or at least your mind tells you you have .. geez im exhausted just reading this as i write our poor bodies lol anyhoo thats why making sure you get plenty of and a good sleep is so important when trying to deal with anxiety coz your body and mind are pretty much knackered.

So relaxation, meds to take the edge of the worry, plenty of sleep and plenty of things to keep your mind active on anything other than changes in your body and you will see a difference in how you are feeling :D

Thanks SamC, I can understand what you saying and i know there is some truth in it. Ive had health issues since Nov 2011 and its not one thing its another. Then the anxiety kicks in and tells me everything ive had is connected which makes me think its spreading.
I ended up getting to sleep at just gone 3am, worrying myself sick over this with a few tears thinking this could be my main problem and i just didnt know it as i could have lumps down my throat now there spreading up into my mouth. I then told myself i didnt have anything upto Feb of this year as i had an endoscope, so i know i was ok up to that point. However i know bad things can spread quickly. I was in the hospital in Sept for breast pain, then Nov & Dec for headaches and eye issues, in Jan 2014 ive got to go for abdomen pain. This is just within 4 months, ive had 2 years of hospitals, doctors, tests, worrying , crying , stress. All this testing can not find anything the only thing i know from it is that its given me anxiety. No sooner i get on top of a condition another one comes up ! My other new condition is 2 numb fingers on my right hand which made me think its blood/ heart related, but ive had a ECG and my blood pressure is up and down depending of the situation. Ive had CBT which hasnt made any difference either.


I know fear and anxiety can make symptoms worse like all those people chat about on this thread. However the lump in my throat i can see rather than it just being a feeling!

I will try and relax today as there should be things to take my mind off of things. Ive also had a look at it and its not changed.... not that i expected it, i just didnt want it looking worse. I know i shouldnt keep checking it .

Anyway thanks for your time in talking to me and trying to make me relax. Have a great christmas.

[JLBnole68]

I think one post on this thread just increased your anxiety level about this. Yes, it probably would've given you peace of mind if the doctor had given it a more thorough examination. Even if you were told it was absolutely harmless, what would be the next symptom? It sounds like you're already seeing the pattern here, but not accepting that your body is fine. One thing checks out ok, then something else immediately pops up. It's a terrible cycle that all anxious people with health anxieties get caught up in at some point in their lives. Think about it. If the doctor had any reason to suspect this was serious, you would've undergone a more thorough evaluation. It sucks when a doctor says something like, "oh, just keep an eye on it". What you or any anxious person hears is, "Oh my God, I'm going to obsess over this thing that I'm just sure is going to kill me!" So, right there is another action or response that's obviously fueled your fears. Here's the real truth. Your tonsils are filters against infections and such. It stands to reason that you'll get nodules and bumps on them as they do what they were designed to do. This is not cancer. This is simply a filtering organ doing what it does...protecting you against infection the best way it can. If you're not in pain but simply stressing because you saw it, that's just a needless amount of worry that far outweighs any possibility of it being something serious. Before I had my tonsils removed, I had the exact same thing. I'd get nodules I could see and feel, even though they weren't painful. My tonsils were particularly bothersome because they were enlarged and developed pockets that could trap food. As a result, I'd see all sorts of crazy looking things. Eventually, they became more of an infection harborer than an infection fighter, so I had to have them removed to keep from getting sick with sore throats. It wasn't life-threatening and certainly not cancer. Remember, that's a very unlikely scenario. If it persists and you can't stop being afraid, go get checked out by a specialist if for no other reason than to give yourself peace of mind. Hopefully, something I've written will help subside your worries. Merry Christmas, and stop sweating this so much. You're going to be just fine. The more you worry, the more things you're going to find "wrong" with your body. That's what health anxiety does. You're feeding your brain the worst case scenario, and it's playing right along with the game. When you recognize and accept this, I promise these symptoms you're scared about will start to fade away.

[majored]

I think one post on this thread just increased your anxiety level about this. Yes, it probably would've given you peace of mind if the doctor had given it a more thorough examination. Even if you were told it was absolutely harmless, what would be the next symptom? It sounds like you're already seeing the pattern here, but not accepting that your body is fine. One thing checks out ok, then something else immediately pops up. It's a terrible cycle that all anxious people with health anxieties get caught up in at some point in their lives. Think about it. If the doctor had any reason to suspect this was serious, you would've undergone a more thorough evaluation. It sucks when a doctor says something like, "oh, just keep an eye on it". What you or any anxious person hears is, "Oh my God, I'm going to obsess over this thing that I'm just sure is going to kill me!" So, right there is another action or response that's obviously fueled your fears. Here's the real truth. Your tonsils are filters against infections and such. It stands to reason that you'll get nodules and bumps on them as they do what they were designed to do. This is not cancer. This is simply a filtering organ doing what it does...protecting you against infection the best way it can. If you're not in pain but simply stressing because you saw it, that's just a needless amount of worry that far outweighs any possibility of it being something serious. Before I had my tonsils removed, I had the exact same thing. I'd get nodules I could see and feel, even though they weren't painful. My tonsils were particularly bothersome because they were enlarged and developed pockets that could trap food. As a result, I'd see all sorts of crazy looking things. Eventually, they became more of an infection harborer than an infection fighter, so I had to have them removed to keep from getting sick with sore throats. It wasn't life-threatening and certainly not cancer. Remember, that's a very unlikely scenario. If it persists and you can't stop being afraid, go get checked out by a specialist if for no other reason than to give yourself peace of mind. Hopefully, something I've written will help subside your worries. Merry Christmas, and stop sweating this so much. You're going to be just fine. The more you worry, the more things you're going to find "wrong" with your body. That's what health anxiety does. You're feeding your brain the worst case scenario, and it's playing right along with the game. When you recognize and accept this, I promise these symptoms you're scared about will start to fade away.

Hi, thank you for your reply it has helped me relax. When somebody can give you a reason for the way you feel it helps you understand and helps to relax you however when the reply is your over worrying or its nothing it dont calm me down because thats just the way they cope im different because i have anxiety and they dont. It also helps when somebody knows how your feeling.

My day has been up and down, ive been on line and the earliest appointment for the doc is 2 weeks time, i just hope i can last that long. I had a bit of a scare earlier i had gone to our in laws for dinner and the children were playing up stairs and i went up there to see what they were up to. Anyway i happened to swallow and thought ooooh there is something stuck on the back of my throat i tried to clear it a few times and it wont happening. So i slid my finger along my tongue right to the back and happened to put it down my throat i gagged a little. I happened to feel something that felt a bit like the tip of a finger, well i couldnt believe what i felt so i did it again which made me really gag i then became obsessed in trying to feel it. I could feel the panic setting in thinking this is not normal what have i got OMG. Tears started to set in and then heart beating fast etc. I then went down stairs and told everyone what had happened. The reply was oh its nothing, your just worrying its not a problem, its just your tonsils, stop the panic. Well then google came out and then it dawned on me it should be there it was my epiglottis so everyone was looking at images of it.

You are right with the fact that i go to the doctor and then i look for something else. This is because they dont know what it is so i have to diagnose myself then i go back and say could it be this/ or that. The reply is -oh i dont think so ,your not having this symptom, your too young, you would also have this, i cant feel anything abnormal etc etc. The thing is i go because i have a pain, they check me over, say nothing can be found go home. Im still in pain after a few weeks so i go back, they check me over, cant find anything, try to send me home. I then panic so they pass me on to somebody and the hospital. I have to then wait weeks for an appointment my anxiety gets real high. I force myself to go and cry etc and they do tests and cant find nothing and send me home. What is happening me its like this all the time?

Many thanks for your time.

[SamC]

What is happening me its like this all the time?

Many thanks for your time.[/QUOTE]

Its happening all the time coz anxiety just goes round in circles until you break that circle only then do things change n it gets alot easier.

My anxiety hit me similar to yours, i woke up one morning with bright red eyes n from there went thru numerous tests, hospital appointments and no one seemed to know what was going on all i was told was i had scaring on the back of my eye balls and to top it off e.n.t clinic was an emergency one so even with an appointment time id find myself sitting 4 hours in the waitin room just worrying ...they eventually fixed my eyes n i didnt go blind but the damage to my mind was done ... few months later i ended up in hospital feelin like i had a knife in my side so i had a week in there with endoscopies, ultrasounds n x rays and turned out was acid reflux/gerd but again all the waitin didnt help me ....

From then on i suffered like 2.5 years, evertime i felt a pain or any diffferent feeling in my body includin pins n needles id take a panic attack so the circle just continied n everytime i got over one thing another pain or i couldnt yawn proper or felt i couldnt breath proper another attack

Basically your brain is on high alert ALL the time so you are more aware of every single change or feeling in your body and as rational thinking doesnt naturally kick in during an anxiety attack its hard to break the cycle n calm your mind hence why everyday its something.

I dont know if you are on any meds but if you are not please check with your doc n get some as i tried to long to fight it without meds partly coz i was scared to take them n i exhausted myself n anxiety spiralled. So please get something to take the edge off your worry i was given beta blockers which i took n still take every morning and genuinely starting that med was the best thing i done n for last few years i feel pretty much like my old self again so i highly suggest a med if you are not on any at them moment

Sam :)

[raggamuffin]

If you must check Google for symptoms here's the tip to overcoming the fears around them. For example a headache:

Google - "Anxiety headache"

Or dizziness...

Google - "Anxiety dizziness"

Literally put anxiety in front of any symptom you wish to check. Soon you'll see how it all pieces together.

Ed

[majored]

What is happening me its like this all the time?

Many thanks for your time.

Its happening all the time coz anxiety just goes round in circles until you break that circle only then do things change n it gets alot easier.

My anxiety hit me similar to yours, i woke up one morning with bright red eyes n from there went thru numerous tests, hospital appointments and no one seemed to know what was going on all i was told was i had scaring on the back of my eye balls and to top it off e.n.t clinic was an emergency one so even with an appointment time id find myself sitting 4 hours in the waitin room just worrying ...they eventually fixed my eyes n i didnt go blind but the damage to my mind was done ... few months later i ended up in hospital feelin like i had a knife in my side so i had a week in there with endoscopies, ultrasounds n x rays and turned out was acid reflux/gerd but again all the waitin didnt help me ....

From then on i suffered like 2.5 years, evertime i felt a pain or any diffferent feeling in my body includin pins n needles id take a panic attack so the circle just continied n everytime i got over one thing another pain or i couldnt yawn proper or felt i couldnt breath proper another attack

Basically your brain is on high alert ALL the time so you are more aware of every single change or feeling in your body and as rational thinking doesnt naturally kick in during an anxiety attack its hard to break the cycle n calm your mind hence why everyday its something.

I dont know if you are on any meds but if you are not please check with your doc n get some as i tried to long to fight it without meds partly coz i was scared to take them n i exhausted myself n anxiety spiralled. So please get something to take the edge off your worry i was given beta blockers which i took n still take every morning and genuinely starting that med was the best thing i done n for last few years i feel pretty much like my old self again so i highly suggest a med if you are not on any at them moment

Sam :)[/QUOTE]

Hi Sam, When i had CBT which i had for 13 weeks they would often say to me that the anxiety is making me more aware of everything that was going on around my body. The niggles or pain would often be there anyway but the anxiety inside me would take notice of it and my mind is linking it to something else. So if im a normal person i dont take notice of it i will just brush it off as normal.

One of my first issues was acid reflux i couldnt eat normally,even drinking water hurt me. All under my right rib hurt as well and then to top it off i had a lump on my stomach under my right rib. Well one day i was normal and then i was like this. I had 5 doctors check the lump .....they could see it but couldnt feel it. I had all sorts of tests done my mind was all over the place i wasnt used to this. Every test came back ok and with that i got worse as i knew something was wrong me me but they couldnt find the problem. Then i was told the only option was a endoscope which i couldnt bring myself to do it as i was worried not so much about the test more about the result. I put this test off for a whole year and the results were normal. Well i given some medication and twice within 30 i had an episode of feeling funny, i became almost in a drugged up drunk state. Hardly being able to string words together arms and legs became floppy. When it went away i rang the doc and was told to stop taking them. I said to them i think ive had a reaction to the tablets, the doctors reply was " i need to refer you to the hospital you could have a blockage going to your brain in a form of a stroke". Well inside i went into one .....a Stoke am i dying? it only happened after i took the tablet, i dont want to go ive just had blood clotting tests about 3 weeks ago and i was fine. I then became very scared of taking new tablets anyway they did give me something else and i started to take that and it was ok but as soon as i could come off of it i did.

They did give me something to control the anxiety, i brought the medication home and i looked at it read all the side effects then went on google and found a forum where other people had been taking the same medication and they were all taking about the problems they have with it. It put me off and i just couldnt take it i became to scared, i also didnt want to have to manage on medication i wanted to do it myself. I know that medication does help but there are boxes of medication in my cupboard that ive become scared to take just in case i get a problem.

When i had CBT they tried to stop me checking myself like looking at the lump to see if it was bigger or it had changed, or pressing it etc. It didnt make the anxiety lesson it made me worse because i felt that i needed to look at it to make sure that it hadnt got worse.

Do you ever feel like its never ending and that your just going round in circles?

Take care

Sarah

[majored]

If you must check Google for symptoms here's the tip to overcoming the fears around them. For example a headache:

Google - "Anxiety headache"

Or dizziness...

Google - "Anxiety dizziness"

Literally put anxiety in front of any symptom you wish to check. Soon you'll see how it all pieces together.

Ed


Hi, if i ever google anything to do with health the worse things come up first. My eyes will spot them i try not to take all the other words in that come with it. Like other conditions, strokes, heart issues, etc. Anxiety seems to come in loads of different ways. I know Google will work by putting the most popular thing to the top but i also thing with anxiety it puts the most serous thing to the top which is the first thing you see and then i will panic. If i have to Google i will put anxiety in front of it.

Thanks
Sarah

[majored]

Yesterday i was out for most of the day visiting places so i didnt have time to check on the lump. I did find that when i come home all of a sudden i had to start clearing my throat not with a cough more like it was a frog. I also notice my voice was a little husky like i had a sort throat however i dont feel like its sore nor do i feel like i have a cold.

This morning i still have the frog thing as well as a slight husky voice. It looks like its sticking out more but the width of is looks slightly smaller, not that its very big anyway. It still can be felt every now and then when i swallow and i now have an ulcer on my lip.

I do notice that im more aware of my mouth the fact i can tell the difference in my voice it could have been like it a week but i only noticed it last night. My tongue on the other side of my mouth looks swollen if i put my tongue out it dont lay flat the right side is up and the left side ( the side with the lump) lays flat. I have had this for quite a while even before my endoscope in Jan this year but they didnt say anything to me. Ive also been to the dentist about 5 months ago and they didnt say anything either.
I know it must be on my mind as my eyes mainly my right eye keeps twitching which i know is a form of migraine.

All of this at times pushing me over the edge but i am trying to cope and remain positive but i dont know how long for.
Sarah

[SamC]

They did give me something to control the anxiety, i brought the medication home and i looked at it read all the side effects then went on google and found a forum where other people had been taking the same medication and they were all taking about the problems they have with it. It put me off and i just couldnt take it i became to scared, i also didnt want to have to manage on medication i wanted to do it myself. I know that medication does help but there are boxes of medication in my cupboard that ive become scared to take just in case i get a problem.


Do you ever feel like its never ending and that your just going round in circles?

Take care

Sarah

You remind me so much of me, i read the side effects when i was first given propanalol and i put it on my dressing table and never looked at it for prob over 3 months, then one day my Aunty came round and noticed it sitting, she said when did you get that ... emmm 3 months ago :@ lol .... I explained i read the side effects etc and she said her and my uncle had both been taking propanalol for years and an even larger dose than i was given, that along with the fact that people are often given it to calm them before a driving test and exams dont know why but that made me feel better and i took them and when i look back i wish i had done it sooner as i had no side effects and they helped me immensely to get control over my anxiety.

I still have a fear of taking new tablets so i completely understand but trust me side effects/IF ANY are much more easy to deal with than the constant worry and symptoms of anxiety, so give them a try, just get a full glass of water and get your partner of friend or whoever to stay with you (makes me feel better for the first tablet of a new medicine) and just swallow it, once its down you will prob feel a bit anxious im not going to lie but after the first one is done the rest are a breeze ... they do take a few weeks to kick in but they will def make you feel better and more in control.

And yup I still sometimes feel im going in circles even tho i have been pretty good for the last 3 years. I cant use alcohol (I hate the feeling of tipsy/drunk) I dont ever use pain killers and everytime i need to take an antibiotic i still have a wee freak out and for pretty much the week of taking them im a wreck but afterwards im ok again, so it does get loads better but like me you might still be left with a wee reminder you had it i.e for me its not being in control lol.

What tablets were you given anyway? :)

[majored]

You remind me so much of me, i read the side effects when i was first given propanalol and i put it on my dressing table and never looked at it for prob over 3 months, then one day my Aunty came round and noticed it sitting, she said when did you get that ... emmm 3 months ago :@ lol .... I explained i read the side effects etc and she said her and my uncle had both been taking propanalol for years and an even larger dose than i was given, that along with the fact that people are often given it to calm them before a driving test and exams dont know why but that made me feel better and i took them and when i look back i wish i had done it sooner as i had no side effects and they helped me immensely to get control over my anxiety.

I still have a fear of taking new tablets so i completely understand but trust me side effects/IF ANY are much more easy to deal with than the constant worry and symptoms of anxiety, so give them a try, just get a full glass of water and get your partner of friend or whoever to stay with you (makes me feel better for the first tablet of a new medicine) and just swallow it, once its down you will prob feel a bit anxious im not going to lie but after the first one is done the rest are a breeze ... they do take a few weeks to kick in but they will def make you feel better and more in control.

And yup I still sometimes feel im going in circles even tho i have been pretty good for the last 3 years. I cant use alcohol (I hate the feeling of tipsy/drunk) I dont ever use pain killers and everytime i need to take an antibiotic i still have a wee freak out and for pretty much the week of taking them im a wreck but afterwards im ok again, so it does get loads better but like me you might still be left with a wee reminder you had it i.e for me its not being in control lol.

What tablets were you given anyway? :)


Hi Sam, When i had the heartburn, they said it was caused by the antibiotics i was given. As you know it dont just get rid of the bad things in your body and they said it had burnt my stomach lining. I just thought it would ever get any better well it took about a year before i didnt have to take any medication for it. However i was also getting bloating as well as constipation which they said was caused by the same thing. Then they put it down to IBS which there is no test for i just think they say that when they dont know what you have got.

I will write down the medication i was given and let you know. They are all at the back of my cupboard i kept them just in case i changed my mind about taking them, i guess they will be out of date now anyway.

Yesterday while eating a sweet i bit the side of my mouth it didnt bleed nor pierce the skin but it look like a big blood blister. Then in the evening we all went to the cinema and while eating i bit it again, this time it went white. It doesnt hurt and its not sore it just looks strange. The other white thing at the back on the tonsil is still there its no bigger but its still there. I now have a little bit of a runny nose which is not like a cold ive been blowing it about 3 times a day. I know all this can be normal but im just trying to think normal. My feelings and anxiety about it comes and goes. Im trying to control it rather than letting it control and take over my thoughts. I did wake up about 4.30am and say to myself oh i have hospital soon and then thought i have a couple weeks yet and then went back to sleep. Im just not sleeping very well at all i hate all of this. Things must be playing on my mind.
Hope your well and having a great christmas break.
Sarah

[majored]

Last night i was upset, things are just getting on top of me. There are too many things going wrong. When you look in your mouth and you have the soft palate to the top and then it has like curtains that come down the sides. my right side is does not appear to be the same as the left, if you were to think they were curtains the left one is open with a tie back but the right one dont have a tie back and has just been left to hang . Also i now feel there is a piece of food stuck in my throat on the right hand side. Ive just put my finger on the back of my tongue to see if there is any food and i can feel some bumps. My voice is alittle horse and i have to keep clearing it. Am i going mad here? I do have these things but im i blowing it all up and making it worse than it is. What if i have something growing in my throat and i cant see it and its causing all of this. The lump on my left tonsil looks slightly smaller to or it could of sunk more into the tonsil so you just cant see it as much. The right side of my tongue looks fat. I know people think they have something in their throat when they are stressed but this does feel like there is something there. It does come and go and i dont notice it that much when im eating.

I know someone who had a lump on their neck in Oct and they took a biopsy and it was clear but it got bigger so the hospital took it out. While in theatre they took it away and tested it again and found it to be cancer. They then gave them a scan to check it was all gone and found that they had a lump inside their throat as well. They didnt know it was even there and without a scan they wouldnt of known it. The lump in their throat is cancer and they are having treatment for it. What if this is happening to me and im sitting here typing telling myself its nothing. When i should be doing something !

Do you think i am ok? I dont know what to do or think!

Thank you for your time.

Im trying to be in control with this but its not happening. I still have a week to go before i get into the doctors.

[Lee Grant Irons]

There are really only two things you can do to get through this anxiety-inducing stress. One is to just wait it out, because chances are that it is not cancer, and do other things to manage your anxiety. The second is to get yourself screened by a doctor, and then get a second opinion if you have to. You have chosen the second option, but have to wait anoher week. So you need to keep yourself busy and keep your mind occupied by other things. I would recommend you make a list of things that you enjoy doing, things that would cheer you up, and then do those things in your idle time. Sitting around and just worrying about it to point of heavy anxiety and panic is bad for your health.

[majored]

[QUOTE=Lee Grant Irons;139678]There are really only two things you can do to get through this anxiety-inducing stress. One is to just wait it out, because chances are that it is not cancer, and do other things to manage your anxiety. The second is to get yourself screened by a doctor, and then get a second opinion if you have to. You have chosen the second option, but have to wait anoher week. So you need to keep yourself busy and keep your mind occupied by other things. I would recommend you make a list of things that you enjoy doing, things that would cheer you up, and then do those things in your idle time. Sitting around and just worrying about it to point of heavy anxiety and panic is bad for your health.[/QU

Thank you for your reply..... I wish i could take the first option but i cant shut my feelings off, i can not make the worry go away it only seems to get worse. I expressed my worry to somebody and they said the white dot was a spot and while i sat next to them they got some pictures up on google in front of me. They found one that looked like mine and clicked into it. The website covered cyst / growths/ cancer and i could only see the cancer words. So in the end i didnt have to google it somebody else did.
I feel i always need reassurance that im not dying, thats why i google or ask friends or go to the doctor.

I dont wont the doctor to do tests im too scared for that. ITs almost like i want to know im ok but im frightened to ask because i worry about the result but i have to force myself to to to the doctors.

I lay there last night finding it hard to swallow, listening to my croaky voice. I can feel a lump in the back of my throat and its somewhere that i cant see so i panic and worry what it could be. The lump is still there on the tonsil its not going but i guess i should be glad its not getting bigger. Why can i not be positive and just say to myself its nothing to worry about and it will just go away. I didnt get to sleep until gone 2.30 my heart was racing and i could hear my heart beat, then i was worrying about that.

Its like i have to people in my head one is normal and the other is anxiety. The anxiety always wins or takes over the normal sides thoughts, the normal side just isnt strong enough. I worry about the effect of all this worrying in the future.

Thank you for your time.
Sarah

[ParanoidPenny]

I went through a phase during one of my anxious episodes where I felt a lump in my throat. Nothing I could see. It just felt like something was sitting in my throat. I of corse googled, but I always google it with the word anxiety to see if it is related. It was. The feeling was there for a couple of days, but I think once I quit focusing on it, it went away. Right now I feel like I have kidney pain since september, I just went to the doctor today. I've been too scared. I tend to drink a lot so i immediately started thing i had kidney failure or something. I haven't had a fever so I was ruling out an infection. He checked my urine and said it was fine. I have to go have an ultrasound of my kidney next week to see if it is enlarged or if I have a stone in there. They also sent some blood off to check my kidney function and sugars. I'm nervous too, but I just want to know what is wrong with me, if anything. I can almost get myself to believe every physical symptom I have is from my anxiety because it can do some crazy shit to your body.
I think you should just get it over with and go to the doctor so you can relax. I bet it is nothing! Just like me!

[Enduronman]

:rolleyes:

[majored]

I went through a phase during one of my anxious episodes where I felt a lump in my throat. Nothing I could see. It just felt like something was sitting in my throat. I of corse googled, but I always google it with the word anxiety to see if it is related. It was. The feeling was there for a couple of days, but I think once I quit focusing on it, it went away. Right now I feel like I have kidney pain since september, I just went to the doctor today. I've been too scared. I tend to drink a lot so i immediately started thing i had kidney failure or something. I haven't had a fever so I was ruling out an infection. He checked my urine and said it was fine. I have to go have an ultrasound of my kidney next week to see if it is enlarged or if I have a stone in there. They also sent some blood off to check my kidney function and sugars. I'm nervous too, but I just want to know what is wrong with me, if anything. I can almost get myself to believe every physical symptom I have is from my anxiety because it can do some crazy shit to your body.
I think you should just get it over with and go to the doctor so you can relax. I bet it is nothing! Just like me!


Thanks for your message. Ive had CBT and they would ask me why i needed to know what the pain was or where it was coming from......why could i just not live with it? I didnt know then and i dont know now. They said because of this i would relate one pain to the next as well as thinking the worse each time and that is true. I know im not the only one that does this and im sure if you got a high temp you would relate that to your kidney pain as well. This year I went to the doctor with pain in my right kidney my urine was quite dark almost brown in colour. They tested my urine at the doctors well it looked like water at that point and the pain had eased. My water was fine no trace of anything so i was told i was ok. By time i had got home the pain had gone, however before i walked in there i had told myself there was something badly wrong with me.

I have had the lump in my throat feeling about 4-6 times before in the past. However because i have the lump in my tonsil and now i have the lump in my throat sensation im relating the two together and this makes my mind run away with me. Yes it may be because im stressed out but it could be something else as well and its the something else that i worry about. I dont need to rush to the hospital i can still breath but when i panic its just too much for my head. I can feel the lump in my tonsil when i bend my tongue backwards . The lump in my throat feels like it moves from the left( which is the side of the tonsil) to the middle. So then i find myself putting my finger on the back of my tongue and trying to see if i have anything stuck. Ive started to do this more however i keep feeling bumps and then i have to check the other side to see if it matches and i never find anything stuck.

I hope you get your problem sorted out soon. It could be a stone but most people pass them, ive had a couple of them before and its not nice. take care x

[majored]

I managed to get to the doctors today and ended up crying my eyes out. worrying about this white lump inside my tonsil, the lump i have in my throat , the hospital appointment i have next week.

The doctor looked at the white lump and said she said it looked normal and she wasnt worried about it at all and it was a collection of fluid inside my tonsil. She is 95% sure that my lump i can feel in my throat is stress (which is what i kept telling myself but its always nice to hear it from the doctor). As for the hospital appointment i have next week i have a few concerns as a couple of years ago i was in hospital and i had a certain doctor that scared me by doing something to me and didnt tell me she was going to do it. Well thats who i have got to go and see next week. Also i scared of what she may do/find/or tell me. So the doctor said 1 we can cancel it and get another appointment with someone else, 2 i can tell the doctors my concern,3 i can go straight in and tell the doctor my fears and remind her of what happened so she can understand. I know i dont have to go and i dont have to have anything done.

God i wish i was brave.....why cant i be strong, why do i have to feel like this?

The doctor did give me some Diazepam, which gives me another worry as i dont like taking medication as ive had a lot of stomach and acid issues. I dont want to go back along that road. I worry about having the side effects. So at the moment im just sitting here looking at the box.

Thanks for listening