Wee Question - FYI im intigued not worried lol :D

[SamC]

Ok so here goes, I have just realised something about myself and i am just wondering if anyone else, who has gained control or got over there anxiety has this, or, if im just a miserable moo (haha but i dont think i am)

I have moved from Scotland to Turkey just a few months ago, left a great job, all my amazing family and my best friends and came here and now its getting close to xmas, what im realising again, like i realised when i left is that it doesn't bother me. I obv miss them all but not miss miss as i am quite happy and relaxed here, everytime i skype or call they are usually in tears and say they are missing me and to come home for xmas but im just like nah im good here and thinking about it now, I dont really get excited about doing things anymore, i had horses all my life and it was my favourite place to be and after anxiety it was more like it was something i just had to do and like i go out and things but dont feel that oh yes im going here or there it will be great fun, if you know what i mean.

So what im really trying to figure out is, is this common after anxiety that you loss your excitement for things or emotions become detached or damaged or whatever or is that just me, i cant remember exactly how i was before anxiety hit me but i do know i was always a bit bah humbug at xmas (i dont like hows its been over commercialised) and i was never one for showing emotion anyway which is why i got anxiety in the first place.

Anyhoo like i say im not worried or panicked or anything, i have control of anxiety. Im more intrigued than anything, as it was just something i realised and was thinking about today. So wondered if this is something anyone else has experienced and may be an after effect of having anxiety, or, is it just not an emotional person in general lol.

** Oh and merry xmas everyone when it comes

[Enduronman]

"Do you lose your excitement for things or emotions become detached and or damaged?"

Sammy,. (hope I don't get into trouble for that!)

An anxious person is generally hyper aware, hyper vigilant, may be hyper active, overly observant, overly perseptive, overly hyper sensitive..about everything, every where, with everyone, and their primary focus, is internalized..we focus on us. Secondarily, everything else, at any time...it's extremely exhausting.

To defeat anxiety, requires work, depth, insight, internal processing, external processing, and is the Ultimate in learning experiences that the single individual person, that which carried this horrible disorder, never, ever, forgets..even when it is gone. It becomes like a pet, that will never leave you completely or entirely. Even for those that return here occasionally to just stop in and say "I defeated anxiety".... That statement, is partly true, and partly false. They wouldn't be back here, had they ever forgotten.

Anxiety itself, is something that manifest deeply within ones mind, body, and soul. It is engrained in those of us, that have gained control over it, maintain it, groom it, yet it is still always there. It has to be, as we are ALL born with anxiety. We just "use" and utilize it in different forms, manners, fashions. When it is over-whelming, confusing, and controlling us, that's when one ends up here. What is "it"? Why do I feel like "this"? Where is "it"?....It has embedded itself, in our minds and it also knows the proper and appropriate "channels" to travel through. Cutting those lines of communications, like in the battle fields of any war, takes patience, time, knowledge, understanding, and extreme will power and even investigations...You must locate the intruder first, before you can destroy him/her.

The "excitement" was/is this disorder itself. Figuring out how to rid oneself, plotting, planning, arrangeing, scheduling, educating, studying, learning, Googeling, reading...

IMHO: You don't lose excitement for things, or emotions for things that others seem to be excited about..it just (appears) that way because those of us that have anxiety in our own control, still work diligently, daily, to keep it that way..it is still our main focus. That's why it seems so hard and difficult to become excited about other things for fear that any additional "excitements" will exacerbate the original and existing problems and or troubles that we once lived through, carried, fought, challenged,....

Yes, it is intrigueing. And, as each day passes, we're intrigued with ourselves as to how we pulled that off anyway? The problem is, there is no instruction manual, book, magazine, how to manual, that which fits each individual person's needs to overcome although many of the anxieties that one reads about here, can closely resemble one another and nearly daily..but, what did or does it take to help that single person to overcome this fear, of their own fear?...There is not (1) answer. There are (100's) of answers and each unique to that (1) specific person, and they learn those answers, triggers, points, events, situations, occasions, as they grow older and mature throughout their own lives.

It's a cycle (not vicious) that never ends, nor will it ever end either.. they "manage" it..and that of course, takes abundant amounts of energy.

So, no reason to have to feel that you must be excited in the same, as it seems, common and general things, that your friends are enthused about..You are enthused, about you and your own accomplishments and acheivements. You, are content with just that....

Agreed, intrigued,...

Merry Christmas SamC!

Chris...:)

[SamC]

Thanks Mr-E thats helpful a very good explanation... well put :)

Merry xmas to u too :)

[Enduronman]

Make this a great day Sammy! :D

[alankay]

Common to be a lil depressed around the holidays and in your case(first holidays away from home, etc) I bet that's all it is. If you keep you chin up and keep busy with good things you will feel better in time. Alankay

[SamC]

Make this a great day Sammy! :D

Thanx ... i make everyday a great day!!

And thanks alankay but thats what i was finding weird im not depressed/sad/excited just feel normal and im happy here maybe thats why, just i was thinking and realised nothing seems get to me these days and i feel a bit guilty that i should be more sad or missing them more but i just feel normal ....its just ... weird lol!


Thanks again everyone and MERRY XMAS!!