Why Are Relationships Too Overwhelming To Have?

[KieranA001]

I don't know what it is, but last night I asked a girl out to come ice skating with me and she said maybe... She apparently has work. But I've been over-analyzing everything way too much! I don't know if I want a relationship now because I have the worst butterfly's and feel like she's judging me, or as if I'm not good enough. The conversation does go quite where I run out of things to say... Which is why I feel I'm not good enough. I don't know but I just don't want to come on too strong! You know, I said it out the blue.

What do I do?

What if she doesn't like my family ?

[Enduronman]

Don't do or say another thing to her about it, you've already put the idea in her head, the ball is in her court...
Stop worrying about it because it's all just being caused by apprehension anticipation....
If it happens, it happens, if not, move on...
If you keep running out of things to say, then asks her to tell you something more about herself..(women LOVE to talk about themselves) ..
I am going to get my a** kicked, by every female member of this forum for stating that, but I'm a big boy and can hold my ground (plus, that's why I did it anyway to get them involved in helping you)...he he he...
Leave your family out of this entire equation for now, it's about YOU and HER...not if she'll like them...yet.

Seasons Greetings!

TAH--- :)

[trinidiva]

Don't do or say another thing to her about it, you've already put the idea in her head, the ball is in her court...
Stop worrying about it because it's all just being caused by apprehension anticipation....
If it happens, it happens, if not, move on...
If you keep running out of things to say, then asks her to tell you something more about herself..(women LOVE to talk about themselves) ..
I am going to get my a** kicked, by every female member of this forum for stating that, but I'm a big boy and can hold my ground (plus, that's why I did it anyway to get them involved in helping you)...he he he...
Leave your family out of this entire equation for now, it's about YOU and HER...not if she'll like them...yet.

Seasons Greetings!

TAH--- :)

Lol....actually, I agree with you!

[Enduronman]

Lol....actually, I agree with you!

Whoa,..This is a huge first step Lisa!!! YAY!!!

EMan..:)

[KieranA001]

Whoa,..This is a huge first step Lisa!!! YAY!!!

EMan..:)

Thanks for your advice. But, do you actually thinks she likes me?.. This is the conversation log...

ME: Hiya xx
Hope you're having a good Christmas holiday
Shame are class couldn't all meet up and go out.. Would have been a blast! You got much going on over Christmas?


HER: haha im to hungover! no got the fam round u

ME: Oh haha fair enough, yeah same

ME: Still, when I get my ID we can go out and I'll buy us a couple of rounds
Oh, and drink some water then. Caffeine also helps xx
Can you ice skate ?

HER: oki doki,, haha yeahh i can im good! whyyy? x

ME: Do you want to go next week or something
Would be a great! haha

HER: mabey im so busy these couple week with work ah!! im haning so much right now

ME: No fairs I know what you mean
Just let me know if you ever want to go though x
Or we could go somewhere else if you don't like ice skating... Cinema? Maybe, anyway I'll let you get over your hangover

That was basically the conversation... She didn't reply after that... What do you think ? Thanks

[Enduronman]

Yup...BUT, you've gotta follow the first suggestion (gawd this is like Dr. Phil now) and just lay low,,and wait for her to respond or reply or text you...NO PUSHING her..
That's "how" they roll bruh,..She knows you're interested....
And, when she does reply, DO NOT mention this again just roll "how" she rolls and let her be the one to say "Hey, remember when you asked me out?..I'd like to do something now K?"....
Plus, you asked her at like the most busiest time of the ENTIRE year,..so friend....just take a deep breath and chill until this Holiday is over...
You'll see her before the year ends and into the New Year..

You pickin up wut I'm puttin down bro???

EMan...:)

[KieranA001]

Yeah man, thanks so much. That's what I was going to do anyway I mean I don't want to come on too strong or anything or she might think I'm just after one thing. But, it's still really hard to keep the conversation going. Well, it's hard to find new topics to talk about. I mean, it will be easier seen as we're going ice skating but I'm worried it might get awkward and she'll end up leaving me for my lack of communication skills or something...

[Enduronman]

Remember young friend,...ask them, about themself!! The conversation will NEVVVEEERRRRRR end....You'll need to know all that you can about her, to keep YOURSELF out of trouble!!...LOL!

Merry Christmas Kieran :D

[KieranA001]

Thanks dude, you too man! I still have a bad case of butterfly's. Well, she did look at the conversation again because it says when she last looked at it lol

[Enduronman]

Oh, you'll get more butterfly's than this my brother...I can't even count em!! Patience...:)

[KieranA001]

I know that's why I'm having second thoughts about it all... Because it's all too overwhelming and everything. I hate this feeling, kinda. It stops me from being me... It makes me feel like I've overdosed on caffeine or something

[Enduronman]

Good things come to those who wait,..without freaking out! :D

[KieranA001]

I hope so, but it just seems too good to be true.

[jessed03]

One word:

Investment

You probably have a lot of self worth/esteem tied up in your relationships and the attention and validation you receive from girls. You have some anxiety about that not being reciprocated.

You have a lot of desire to have a great GF, which is natural, but means you aren't gonna be very relaxed in these situations.

You've perhaps not dated as much as you'd like, given your previous posts, making opportunities a little rarer.

All of these things mean you invest a lot into relationships.

If you bet half your life savings on a sports game, you're not gonna enjoy it the same way a guy with his buddies and some beers is gonna. Simply cos of the investment at stake.

Before any date, you could do what I used to do. Blow away sets. Go talk to the really hot girls in the mall. You know the ones at the make up counter, or working in the fashion stores. Go loosen up, chat to them. They're paid to talk to you. They're typical hot girls too, so dont say much, you have to carry the convo. Make out you're buying something for your sister.

There's no pressure, if it gets awkward, who cares, go to the next one. They're blow aways, they don't mean anything. Once you have a good convo with one, where you laugh and joke, you will be on it... you'll be loose, in the zone.

You'll role upto your date like 'Cute girl? Cool, let's have some fun'

Rather than 'I hope this goes well, I've been looking forward to this for months'

Investment you see. When you go on one date, and talk to one girl all day, there's a lot of pressure and anxiety to make it work, make it fun. Girls arent idiots, they know this, it's awkward for them. Nothing worse than a try hard.

After you've talked to 5 hot girls, hey, you've had some fun convos.. You can just relax and carry on the good vibes.

[KieranA001]

I think she's a slag now anyway... I don't know, I'm not a try hard though... I am pretty relaxed and chilled out, it's the sexual tension that's killing me! I know she has it as well though...

I feel like deep down I know her core personality but then I added her on Facebook and some if it is reflected, but their is another part of her I'm not too sure about, and am feeling insecure with this part of her.

I don't know, I really like this one, but she seems really chavy on Facebook, the way she words things, the people she hangs with, what she does e.g. Gets pissed every week with her work mates, more than once a week, more like three times a week maybe more...

She looks emo though, she looks really insecure although she has a lot of pictures when she was 16 with lots of men, topless, older as well with facial hair, topless, she gets drunk and I think she has a lot of sex with different men, that's what I think. She's now 21.

She likes a lot of chavy programs, like Geordie shore, the only way is essex, a lot of reality TV shows, Easterners, etc. Her mum seems to inherit the going out and getting pissed thing, me thinks...

I love her though, if only I know she's changed. She doesn't seem to have that many boys on her Facebook now in most of her new pictures, and not that many boys like her pictures... She looks genuine and sweet, but I still don't know. I don't want to get hurt and to be used as a sex toy and then chucked to the side like the rest?

I asked her out ice skating, but then she said "maybe" and that she has a lot of work. She said she's good! I then said, if you don't like ice skating, then we can go to the cinema instead. Then I told her to let me know if she ever wanted to go out. She seems to want me to go drinking with her... But I have no ID. I don't think she had that much work either.....

She seems to like me though, I think, so I don't know what the problem is. She gives me a gazey look in the lift when I'm with her, and she always looks and smiles at me, and plays with her hair, and I like all of that. She also likes banter, but I'm not really a banter type of guy. I'm just going to be me, genuine and not a cheat, I just want to love her and it's hurting me really badly. I don't know what to do.

What do I do? Someone please help me!?

Thanks. :-)

[KieranA001]

When I'm in English, she had a personality that I really like, I just don't want to fall in love with her or have any memories to associate her with if I don't like the rest of her. Although, I will do my best with her...