Everything i do reminds me of suicide

[mikecole114]

Don't know what to do I bought I was getting better now I'm in the same place on my sofa under a duvet without doing anything again. I can't even watch tv without being reminded of death and suicide.
Every film u watch involved a storyline where someone goes through something bad every time this happens I think how if that was me I would defo kill myself. I've been watching road cops all day and all I've wanted to do all day is get in a car so I can get in an accident. I don't want these thoughts but every time in hear about death I wish it was mine and I wish I had a real reason to finish myself. I don't want sympathy I don't want to kill myself but I do want to die. What can I do? I'm sik of these thoughts and don't know what to do with them please help

[NeverToo...Fear]

We have ups and downs.. sounds like your in a down right now and you have had fewer ups lately. Maybe it will help to remember how you felt when you didn't want to die. Easier said than done, but it helps to know that you are not in your right frame of mind right now and you just need to ride it out--even if it's sitting on your sofa under a duvet without doing anything. That's fine. You don't have to do anything. Just survive.

Life is a challenge and right now, you are being tested harder than others. Your mind is saying to die, but there's an instinct in all of us to live. Things do get better. You can only go up from the bottom. You've got the bum poker hand, and all you can do is play that hand your dealt or fold-- the later option not being too cool.

If you still feel you need to die, and it just keeps coming up, don't fight it then. Maybe it's what you feel that you need to do, BUT Understand why. Death is not something you can come back from so try to figure out why you have this desire--really analyze the feelings to try and understand yourself. These suicidal feelings might be a way of your brain going, "Hey, I'm not alright. We need to change something here, Mike." Change, not die --your brain just doesn't know how to express itself properly without being dramatic, so to speak. A simple change might be all you need. To what that change is, who knows; it's more like something you can answer because you are the one living this this.

I'm rooting for you Mike.. Don't give up hope yet.

[mikecole114]

I've tried looking for changes to make I can't I just want this to be over everything I've tried has failed and I'm put of options. I don't want to kill myself but I also don't want to live this life and be this person anymore? So what can I do?

[Saldav]

I've tried looking for changes to make I can't I just want this to be over everything I've tried has failed and I'm put of options. I don't want to kill myself but I also don't want to live this life and be this person anymore? So what can I do?

Do you have family that can give you some support, see a dr. Please!! Suicide is a cowards way out, selfishness. Think about the love ones you leave behind suffering. I know how you feel, everyday is a struggle for me too, and often I wish I never was born. But I was and we are all in this earth for a reason. Dont be afraid of asking for help even if its in this forum, every little bit of help we get is positive.

Good luck mike remember we all care about you. Most of us have been in the same boat, I'm in it now but I've been suffering from this shit for over 13 yrs its bumpy but with help from dr's, family and friends we will make it.

[Lee Grant Irons]

Hi Mike!

I'm so sorry you are having it rough. I would like to give you hope. I think you previously read the first chapter of my blog (the url address is below in my signature). I have just posted chapter 2. I have more of my own story in there and how I managed to pull myself out of my own freefall. I was at a point where I was hoping I would go to sleep and not wake up the next morning. But I had an epiphany of thought and realized there were some things I could do to try and bring some vitality back into my life. I talk about these things that I did in my chapter 2. Please read it to see if there is anything in there that might help you.