Ponder
12-22-2013, 12:30 AM
From Sniffing Speed to Sniffing Flowers -
LOL - Now that's a journey! Prison Rehabilitation or Off with the Pixies? -> Pixies Please! Major Epidemic with prisons overflowing across the world; It would seem people think they are a good places to learn life's lessons, the place where troubled soles should take up courses, written by those more able individuals; so well placed to make life decisions. So effective such leaders they be, that one wonders at the need for so many prisons?
Allow me to sniff the flowers and give you an inside view - to such a great place that "he needed to be!"
Eat or be Eaten -> There stands the dog that ratted me in - in it comes after all that bagging I did for having me slammed in. Others look, waiting but more so telling -> watchyagona do watchyagona do to the blue eyed, blond haired boy that ratted on you! Someone's little boy just like you.
Familiar Tune, that they play on the TV - Bad Boys Hey -> War stories and glorification for little children and old alike to tickle their fetish. What a sick world that seeks to feed off the misery of others. To justify the misery of others!
So it is, that two others who for whatever reason cling to me, enter his cell, one on each side of me - I stare at this rat, with all the rage and poise I can muster - I feel a sense of disgust in me, yet also exhilaration - for the trembling fear that so enveloped the cell.
I wonder how the energy lingers in such a place! - You see the thing is, I've never really looked at myself as a bully and had always up till that point sort to make a stand against such thugs - Sad reality is how quick such can change when is such a learning facility.
No need to go on with what happened next! - What's important is to understand the turmoil of how such can render a human quite short circuited for the rest of their life. This is what people do not want to learn - they would much prefer to hear the sordid details of suffering rather than identify with the sickness of our minds and how it is what happens when blending such sick soles in close proximity. It is more common that people will come out much worse than before they went in - especially those that are in for "Oh nothing like that!"
Where do I go from here - perhaps my own fear - from frightened little fish scaring others to one that's hooked and quivering in the cells of others!
I remember well one episode during process at Golbourn Jail - I was trying to roll a smoke which brought the attention of about all others to watching my fingers shake and tabaco fall onto the floor as I just stood thier and kept rolling my cigarette with nothing in it. Man talk about fish for the taken! Well there was no wing offered up for protection in this case as it was in others - this time the big bloke standing closet to me, injected that same fear I did with the rat back in the other place! (Bogger Road - now closed) - Then comes the time for stripping down - taking your clothes off for processing like jews before the gas chambers. Of course some may say no comparison (I take my Jewish heritage with a grain of salt - a lesson still no learned) - the processing guys are prisoners themselves and are relentless at pointing, and biting back - I thought I was tough, but the indignity of such sticks deep in me and possibly the most inhuman feeling of all I suffered. You get used to the shower block - that is after your left walking and not chewed up as all that fear mongering would think you be the target at every call out and or next turn.
I ended up pulling myself together in the weight room - I knew I would do good at that, and gravitated towards others as they did to me. I was saddened to see others come in as I did, however they simply just did not have the grain to withstand the sickness of the human mind in such a "well educated rehabilitating place" It's not the rape or bashings that tear a man down, but the constant state of fear - that will plague the XP - AKA Ex Prisoner with ongoing mental instability. How the fuck I have managed to keep a grip I am only just beginning to see. Oh, I am quite fucked up - and it plays hugely into why now - society is footing the bill AKA mentally rubber stamped due to disfunctionality amongst the clean and well equipped types.
Believe me - you will eat your words, if you think prison is the place for your boy to be! Thankfully - after much therapy and self determination - I made it back over most bridges to forgive my mothers mistakes as too my own.
However I will never sit by and listen to people talk of the prison experience as some kind of opportunity to of learned the golden rule of acceptability!
Bonds can be made in prison, but such they are that they will despise much of this authority that claims such pain to be justified for the benefit of the majority. However all kinds of solidarity are soiled with the human mind, greed and other forms of corruptibility - I ride with building on strengths and looking deep within - it's always been in me and indeed, kept me from being consumed within such a learned place of rehabilitation - rolls eyes -
I don't like war storied that glorify the spectacle like they do with the latest Prison or Cop stories with people sitting in thier chairs thinking whatever it is - that feeds them such superfiscal content!
Yet another story that I pick like a petal and toss to the wind and watch it flow - I don't know - perhaps reactionary to a post of another - Lifes lessons - should of it been right that I was subject to such misery for failing to be the man that bent his knee...hmmm...that rightouse BS that sends soldiers to kill others only to return and press the trigger one final time and never again - Pfffft ... All for the authority of some illusionary being - the elites that puppet those imprinted to be living in the past and future, so no one dares to question the current state of being - or that fact, that no one really lives until they comply, do as expected or follow the lead.
I say fuck it all - the flowers smell nice - I'll stick with those and anyone else who's off with the pixes! Uneducated they call me - useless wasted life - a burden that now sucks the economy - they say lots of things, but do nothing to teach, other than keep building prisons for the lesson they say needs to be taught. How bout we grab the teachers, wrap them up, throw them with the big fish and watch them swim? LOL - just a thought, but thinking is bad for me - best get back to smelling the roses.
PHEW ---- another day without the anitdpesants - energy is returning - time to get more done. No editing this - just a little maybe - It's just a little of my story - but like I said - not into the frazel dazzel - just sharing as I think it ought to be.
wishing you well - I am at times up and down - I said once before such things a deeply seeded in me - perhaps such revaluations may make those who still want to be friends understand. Friends by the numbers a really overrated! I much prefer a small number that are damaged but forgiving like I want to be.
Peace Out - or whatever best grabs thee ..
LOL - Now that's a journey! Prison Rehabilitation or Off with the Pixies? -> Pixies Please! Major Epidemic with prisons overflowing across the world; It would seem people think they are a good places to learn life's lessons, the place where troubled soles should take up courses, written by those more able individuals; so well placed to make life decisions. So effective such leaders they be, that one wonders at the need for so many prisons?
Allow me to sniff the flowers and give you an inside view - to such a great place that "he needed to be!"
Eat or be Eaten -> There stands the dog that ratted me in - in it comes after all that bagging I did for having me slammed in. Others look, waiting but more so telling -> watchyagona do watchyagona do to the blue eyed, blond haired boy that ratted on you! Someone's little boy just like you.
Familiar Tune, that they play on the TV - Bad Boys Hey -> War stories and glorification for little children and old alike to tickle their fetish. What a sick world that seeks to feed off the misery of others. To justify the misery of others!
So it is, that two others who for whatever reason cling to me, enter his cell, one on each side of me - I stare at this rat, with all the rage and poise I can muster - I feel a sense of disgust in me, yet also exhilaration - for the trembling fear that so enveloped the cell.
I wonder how the energy lingers in such a place! - You see the thing is, I've never really looked at myself as a bully and had always up till that point sort to make a stand against such thugs - Sad reality is how quick such can change when is such a learning facility.
No need to go on with what happened next! - What's important is to understand the turmoil of how such can render a human quite short circuited for the rest of their life. This is what people do not want to learn - they would much prefer to hear the sordid details of suffering rather than identify with the sickness of our minds and how it is what happens when blending such sick soles in close proximity. It is more common that people will come out much worse than before they went in - especially those that are in for "Oh nothing like that!"
Where do I go from here - perhaps my own fear - from frightened little fish scaring others to one that's hooked and quivering in the cells of others!
I remember well one episode during process at Golbourn Jail - I was trying to roll a smoke which brought the attention of about all others to watching my fingers shake and tabaco fall onto the floor as I just stood thier and kept rolling my cigarette with nothing in it. Man talk about fish for the taken! Well there was no wing offered up for protection in this case as it was in others - this time the big bloke standing closet to me, injected that same fear I did with the rat back in the other place! (Bogger Road - now closed) - Then comes the time for stripping down - taking your clothes off for processing like jews before the gas chambers. Of course some may say no comparison (I take my Jewish heritage with a grain of salt - a lesson still no learned) - the processing guys are prisoners themselves and are relentless at pointing, and biting back - I thought I was tough, but the indignity of such sticks deep in me and possibly the most inhuman feeling of all I suffered. You get used to the shower block - that is after your left walking and not chewed up as all that fear mongering would think you be the target at every call out and or next turn.
I ended up pulling myself together in the weight room - I knew I would do good at that, and gravitated towards others as they did to me. I was saddened to see others come in as I did, however they simply just did not have the grain to withstand the sickness of the human mind in such a "well educated rehabilitating place" It's not the rape or bashings that tear a man down, but the constant state of fear - that will plague the XP - AKA Ex Prisoner with ongoing mental instability. How the fuck I have managed to keep a grip I am only just beginning to see. Oh, I am quite fucked up - and it plays hugely into why now - society is footing the bill AKA mentally rubber stamped due to disfunctionality amongst the clean and well equipped types.
Believe me - you will eat your words, if you think prison is the place for your boy to be! Thankfully - after much therapy and self determination - I made it back over most bridges to forgive my mothers mistakes as too my own.
However I will never sit by and listen to people talk of the prison experience as some kind of opportunity to of learned the golden rule of acceptability!
Bonds can be made in prison, but such they are that they will despise much of this authority that claims such pain to be justified for the benefit of the majority. However all kinds of solidarity are soiled with the human mind, greed and other forms of corruptibility - I ride with building on strengths and looking deep within - it's always been in me and indeed, kept me from being consumed within such a learned place of rehabilitation - rolls eyes -
I don't like war storied that glorify the spectacle like they do with the latest Prison or Cop stories with people sitting in thier chairs thinking whatever it is - that feeds them such superfiscal content!
Yet another story that I pick like a petal and toss to the wind and watch it flow - I don't know - perhaps reactionary to a post of another - Lifes lessons - should of it been right that I was subject to such misery for failing to be the man that bent his knee...hmmm...that rightouse BS that sends soldiers to kill others only to return and press the trigger one final time and never again - Pfffft ... All for the authority of some illusionary being - the elites that puppet those imprinted to be living in the past and future, so no one dares to question the current state of being - or that fact, that no one really lives until they comply, do as expected or follow the lead.
I say fuck it all - the flowers smell nice - I'll stick with those and anyone else who's off with the pixes! Uneducated they call me - useless wasted life - a burden that now sucks the economy - they say lots of things, but do nothing to teach, other than keep building prisons for the lesson they say needs to be taught. How bout we grab the teachers, wrap them up, throw them with the big fish and watch them swim? LOL - just a thought, but thinking is bad for me - best get back to smelling the roses.
PHEW ---- another day without the anitdpesants - energy is returning - time to get more done. No editing this - just a little maybe - It's just a little of my story - but like I said - not into the frazel dazzel - just sharing as I think it ought to be.
wishing you well - I am at times up and down - I said once before such things a deeply seeded in me - perhaps such revaluations may make those who still want to be friends understand. Friends by the numbers a really overrated! I much prefer a small number that are damaged but forgiving like I want to be.
Peace Out - or whatever best grabs thee ..