No outlet

[JustAnotherMe]

There is a pressure that has been building up in me for the past week. I have trouble recognizing what I am feeling but even I have noticed the usual negative habits that indicate there is trouble ahead.

The pressure is building and I can't... I can't let it out and it's beginning to scare me. I've tried self harm and suicide before and that is no longer an option, I've managed to get past that but I still can't let this pressure out. It's building inside my head and I can't stop it, i feel like i'm going to explode. The only other times I've felt like this, which has been a good few years ago, I had to beat the shit out of myself to get rid of it.

I suffer from anxiety but this is something else, something I can't express, surrpless of release and I'm genuinely scared for the first time in ages. My only response so far is to just get fucking drunk but it's not enough.

Typing this far has made me sob my heart out but it's not enough. I don't know how to relieve this pressure in my head, I feel like I want to just smash my fucking skull in to let it all out.

I really need some help guys. I'm going to explode and it terrifies me.

[SamC]

is the pressure in your head a physical pressure you are feeling? if it is first off get your sinuses checked out thats most likely cause.

If you mean it figuratively..

First of eliminate alcohol completely as alcohol + anxiety/depression or any other mood disorder do not mix at all it intensifies feelings 10x

Have you had any excess stresses or worries recently, something that could contribute to how you feel around the time this started? coz the best remedy is to try to find the trigger and work from there.

Also have you been to see your doctor what do they suggest?

Sam :)

[JustAnotherMe]

Hey Sam, apologies for the delay I've been unable to make myself come back to the forums until now.

The pressure feels physical but I know it's just me getting worked up and being unable to release. I think I used to release via self harm (some many years ago), suicidal thoughts etc but now I am past those but sometimes I don't feel as though I have any way of letting it all out. This place helps, I do have a support network on place, I am on medications but sometimes none of it helps and it just builds and builds until I feel like I need to crack my skull to let it all out.

I've been to my doctor before about this (along with everything else) and had quite a few tests, all showing okay. Truthfully.. I don't want to give up alcohol, I can't always release my feelings/face them and sometimes, not always but sometimes, I need to just get drunk and have a good old fashioned breakdown to release all the pressure. I know it doesn't sound that healthy but a lot of my psych issuese stem from bottling stuff away and not letting it out, I spent years with a counseller running through that whole thing and it feels healthier to achknowledge this, far from perfect, method of releasing my feelings out than just .. not.

Thank you for your input again SamC, I hate the feeling of dread coming on here sometimes but it's people like you who take the time to respond positives who make me realise that despite my numerous issues, I'm not a freak.

[SamC]

No problems i just wish i could help further but its not something i have gone through personally so i cant really help as much as i would like to. But you are right on that talking def does help, my anxiety started with bottling things up so i also learned that lesson the hard way.

I found when i was trying to overcome anxiety writing things down really helped, like if i felt really anxious at one point in the day writing down what happened around that time so i could revisit it when i was more calm, maybe you could try that when you feel more pressure, try writing down how it feels and things that happened around that time, maybe you will find a trigger or two ... just like keeping a diary but it also helps when you go to the doctor so you can explain better, maybe worth a try.

Think you should go see your doctor see if they can give you something to take the edge off tho do your diary if you can write down your feeling and thoughts can even try change negative thoughts to positive ones or try to rationalise what you are feeling, if you have a better understanding yourself it helps explain better to your doctor as they are like everyone else, if you never have had a mood disorder its pretty impossible to understand it so they kind of rely on you to tell them what you want i think and NO I definately do not think you or anyone on here is a freak, forums are for people all in the same boat to help each other.

Just wish i had a bit more advice for you but i dont want to tell you something when i haven't had experience of it personally, dont face it alone tho, try to keep your mind active, excercise is always good for releasing pent up emotions and go see your doc see if they can help.

Hopefully more people on here that have had the feelings you are can help more :)